Alone
#13 of Poetry
Emotional practice piece for a character who's lonely and deals with depression. This is just practice and in no way reflective of my own condition/mood. Feedback is appreciated, as always.
Am I alone?
The only one who had never known
Of the gift that was given to all but my own
A strange comfort;
The boon of knowing
That everything was to stay
And that nothing was going
To be secure in your thoughts and ideas
That there was nothing to worry about
Nothing to fear
But why must such a thing escape only me?
Wandering around like I'm a lost puppy
Looking for an answer that sits inside my own head
Afraid to see the truth to which I want to be so desperately led
Am I supposed to feel the way I do?
To crave a company of two?
Only he and I spending our days together
Bound to one another like birds of a feather
But where oh where can I find him?
The one who sees me for me?
Where could he be?
Hidden away like an eternal mystery
Though as futile as it may be
I can't stop looking for him
Seeking out the warmth of his touch
And the comfort of his company
Regardless of the time I may spend on this road
I simply want to find the one I can call my own
The one who will hold me close and tell me
That I'm no longer alone
Despite all of what I might face
I want to keep fighting to win this race
To find the one who opens my eyes and shows me my worth
To let me know that I truly belong on this earth
But how can I find the strength to move ahead?
Each and every day I wake as though I was dead
Hours dragging on like days
Making all that I do disappear in a haze
The cloud of melancholy hanging above my head
Sapping me of emotion until I feel nothing
And only want death
How can I keep looking for that which I'll never find
When all of what I see leaves me emotionally blind?
How can I search for something that doesn't exist
When the weight of this loss gently touches the lips that he kissed?
How am I to find that which I so desperately desire
When I lock myself away and never dare say that I love?