FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Reading, writing, signing. Zoroark was getting rather skilled at her daily work routine by now, keeping a secure grip on the pencil with claws designed for far more primal purposes than bureaucracy. It was not just her physiology either - The whole scenery screamed of absurdity. A rock with a cushion for a seat. An even more oversized slate for a desk. No electricity or even a lantern, the cave walls themselves glowing eerily after usage of Flash, turning them luminescent for a few days at a time, making it even harder for her to sleep than usual. Zoroark found herself missing the comfort of No Man's Land, the closest thing she had to a home.

Suddenly, she heard rapid footsteps outside, heading towards her. From the growing sound, she determined that it was a biped with padded feet and minimum weight, someone very fast. An assassin? Or just an eager aide with urgent news? One situation called for her to turn invisible and hide, the other urging her presence. Compromising, she created an illusion of herself sitting by the desk while silently moving to lean up against one of the walls, prepared for an ambush if necessary. The assailant appeared at the entrance, and she felt relieved to see it was just Lucario. She dropped her illusion, but immediately wished she hadn't.

He looked utterly terrified. Whether incapacitated by Raikou or in the presence of Darkrai himself, his current expression showed fear of a degree she had never witnessed before.

"D... Demon...!" Lucario gasped while breathing heavily, "There's a Devil in the bar!"

He tried to remain standing, but his knees faltered as he sunk down against the wall. Zoroark ran up to catch him and supported him against her shoulder, ignoring the fact that he was now referring to their stash of alcohol as a bar.

"Probably just the Gengar-" Zoroark tried to calm him down, having just gotten the report that the Gengar had deserted them for unknown reasons. But Lucario would have none of it, looking at her with eyes wide open in panic.

"DO YOU THINK I'D GET THIS FREAKED OUT BY A FUCKING GHOST!?" he screamed in her face as she flinched, "This thing's flesh and blood... Might even be Darkrai...!"

Darkrai - A name that would forevermore grab her attention. Whatever was happening, it was serious. Although lacking information, Zoroark did her best to hastily formulate a plan. First of all, others had to be warned of this threat, especially the ones closest to the danger zone.

"Quick, run ahead!" she shouted while helping Lucario up to his feet, "There's a Miltank I just sent there to-"

But as quickly as things had turned serious, it all melted away. Zoroark's face dropped in a sheepish fashion, feeling very stupid.

"Lucario... By any chance..." she asked with a growing frown, "... Did this 'demon' have udders?"

"H-How should I know!?" Lucario stammered, wondering why the tension had suddenly diffused, "One look and I bolted out of there!"

"What about hooves?" Zoroark asked in a monotone. This time, Lucario's expression showed recognition.

"That's why it's a Devil!" he pointed out with a heavy shudder from the traumatizing memory, "Diamond-hard hooves with enough strength to shatter bone with a single stomp! How would I block such destructive force!?" Zoroark sighed very deeply as she moved back to her seat and sat down. Seeing that Lucario was straying far from the road of calming down, she wondered if she should explain things to him or just let him suffer for getting her so riled up over nothing.

"Everyone has heard about Ethan's pathetic loss against Whitney," Zoroark said, opting for the nice approach, "I assume you do not remember it... But it seems to have left a pretty bad impress-" "There you are!" a different voice interrupted her, and yet another unannounced visitor came inside her den. Zoroark remained undaunted, but Lucario felt his stomach clench up at the sound, fear giving birth to new power as he ran away and pressed up against the wall behind the Dark-type and her makeshift study. By the entrance where he had been standing barely a second earlier, the source of his fears trod in.

"No! NO! STAY AWAY!" Lucario yelled in the hopes of deterring the new arrival. He felt his breathing come in harder as his mind struggled to comprehend the true nature of the horror in front of him. Like Zoroark had suggested, it indeed had udders. Sore and vulgar tumors of flesh sticking out from its belly, like snakes trying to escape the sickly sack of flesh. Its hooves looked positively small in comparison to the rest of its chubby body, but he could very easily imagine one of his ribs snapping like an unfortunate twig underneath their unparalleled crushing strength.

However, the single most terrifying aspect of it all was undoubtedly its face. It was soft. It was kind. Looking at it, one might think his fear of the chubby dairy producer was unfounded and irrational. But he knew it all to be a façade, a ruse to lull him into a false sense of security. Before his vision, Lucario kept seeing the demon curl up into a ball and begin to roll towards him. The scenario still just a figment of his imagination, he never, ever wanted to see it curl up into a ball and roll towards him. If it were to happen, he was sure to scream out loud, lose consciousness or even expire in a heart attack. The idea that such a homely-looking creature could at any moment transform into the very definition of madness, an icon of malice was too much to handle.

Huffing audibly, the Miltank looked towards Zoroark with a bothered expression while pointing at Lucario.

"Not what ah had in mind when ah volunteered!" she spoke with a dialect, which to Lucario sounded like a hellspawn chanting a spell of misfortune, "He said he'd punch me!"

"Punchkickbite you!" Lucario clarified immediately and loudly, "I said I'd punchkickbite you and I'm sticking to that unless you piss off, w-weakling!"

"Quiet, Lucario," Zoroark told the trembling fighting-type before turning towards her volunteer and wondering how the hell she was going to explain this, "Well... I asked you if you could help him stop drinking, and it seems to have worked... Somehow. Thank you."

The Miltank looked back and forth between Zoroark and Lucario with her hands on her hips, taking a moment to figure out the bizarre situation. Her concerned expression slowly faded into a calm smile as she began to walk towards Lucario.

"D-Don't..." Lucario stammered in warning, fondling the wall behind him in search for any manner of secret escape route Zoroark might have installed.

"Well shucks, ya scared?" the Miltank asked sincerely while keeping up her grin, "Afraid of what li'l ol' me could do to ya?"

"NO!" Lucario screamed in defiance while pressing up as hard as physically possible against the wall, hoping the ghost of Mew would appear to pull him through it. Zoroark merely sat and watched as the Miltank went past her, approaching the squirming Lucario.

"Good. Usually y'all see Miltank as nothing too jarrin'," she said before leaning in closer to whisper something, "But that's just fine. That's how ah catch 'em off guard."

Lucario bit down hard enough to crumble his own jawline to keep himself from passing out, but was finding it more and more difficulty to remain dignified until death as he could see his own reflection in the Miltank's huge, intimidating eyes.

"Speaking of which, she'll be taking up the position that Gengar left," Zoroark spoke up, not entirely sure if she wanted to break up whatever was happening, "So, if you want another drink, you'll have to go through her." Staring at the Miltank with a strained expression before opening his mouth, a meek moan of fear was the only answer Lucario could muster up. Zoroark sighed, signaling for the Miltank to move back so they could have a normal conversation. The bipedal cow barely took a step back, focusing all her attention on Lucario's hilarious reaction.

"P-Position..." Lucario stuttered after he felt the Miltank was at a slightly safer distance, "You mean... B-Bartender?"

"Bouncer," Zoroark corrected him with a smile. Lucario stared at the Miltank, who returned his glance with a mischievous glint in her eye. He felt his own eyes water up as he looked back at Zoroark with a pleading expression.

"Oh, fine," Zoroark said with dismay as she stood up and walked up to the Miltank, Lucario's pathetic state actually begging to worry her that something bad was about to happen, "You are allowed to give Lucario here one bottle per week."

"That bein' a filthy bottle of stinkin' beer..." the Miltank asked while playfully slapping her udders, "... Or a healthy servin' of nutritious milk?"

"HRRRKK!" Lucario wheezed, falling to his knees and threatening to puke from the suggestion, bile overflowing to the point where he felt like he had vomit running through his veins. Both the Miltank and Zoroark could not help but crack up slightly as he lay on the ground, clutching his stomach while twisting and turning in unimaginable disgust.

"Could you ask him that every time?" Zoroark requested, believing she had discovered the perfect cure for Lucario's growing issue with alcohol.

"Hahaha, oh yes," the Miltank laughed in response, "This is fun."

It took Lucario a few minutes to fully recover. The mental image of udders being tugged in all the wrong ways while sending a ripple over the plump devil would haunt him until the end of times. It was at that time he finally decided to secure himself a cyanide tablet to carry around, lest he was ever forced to actually drink the fluids of the demonic being. When he felt ready to face the world again, he realized Zoroark was crouching down next to him, and the Miltank was nowhere in sight.

"So. Unaffected by Darkrai, were you?" she asked with amusement, painfully aware that her own paralyzation of terror was probably just as undignified, "Completely fearless?"

Sounding off a groan, Lucario wondered why everyone was picking on him all of a sudden. Whatever respect he had built up must've been shattered after his long bout of depression, he figured. Zerobi was sure to treat him more nicely, but after asking around a bit he found out she had gone somewhere else, promising to be back in a few days. If only she had an aura, he could track her down as a great excuse of getting as far away from the devilish cow as possible.

"... I can handle a nightmare..." Lucario coughed as he slowly rose to his knees, "... That thing's for real. Please tell me she's a pacifist."

"Yes," Zoroark replied and calmly went back to her seat, "Entered No Man's Land out of her own free will. Volunteered to come here for the sole purpose of kicking ass. Definitively a pacifist."

Lucario swallowed loudly. He wanted to know more about what the hell happened to Ethan to create such a phobia, but would greatly prefer never seeing or thinking about the horrifying Miltank ever again.

"At least she's returning to No Man's Land soon, right?" Lucario asked hopefully, retracting his cheerful tone as Zoroark looked at him with a slightly hurtful expression, "And... You too?"

"Regrettably," Zoroark replied, sad to miss out on whatever antics he would get up to next, "The first convoy has already departed. We are moving back in segments so we can travel easier and make it harder for an ambush. Hard to tell who else knows about the virus, so we will keep secret which convoy brings it back."

The issue of the virus returned to Lucario's mind again after long absence. Between the sudden appearance by Darkrai, Mew's death and his own struggles with drinking he had completely forgotten about something that was probably worth a lot more attention than anything else. He looked into Zoroark's eyes in silence, hoping he had not made a mistake by placing his trust in her to handle it. She returned his stare with a calm yet analyzing gaze.

"You know... There will always be a place for you in No Man's Land if you want to settle down," Zoroark spoke up while reclining back, stretching her arms to ease the tension from hours of writing, "A few of the human residences are still untouched. I suppose you would feel right at home in one of those?"

"Thanks," Lucario replied, the idea sounding strangely distant as he shrugged off the unusual emotion, "... I mean, not much choice, I guess. Don't really know what to do with my life, now that Mew's..."

He fell quiet, surprising even himself. He thought himself over Mew's passing, but was still finding it hard to talk about. Zoroark's inquisitive gaze was not helping at all. But it was true - He had gone from running for his life to searching for Mew, traveling to the legendaries to chasing down Mew again. With her gone, he was finding himself without a real destination for the first time in two years.

"Don't worry. I know that feeling," Zoroark said, feeling a little bad over teasing him before considering he was still in mourning, "If there's nothing left to fight for, what's the point of living?"

"Honestly, I'm pretty tired of fighting. I'd like to try something else for once," Lucario responded and sighed, running a hand past his ear. The hole left by Silver had closed up, but he was not about to forget about it and every other scar on his body anytime soon.

"Oh, please!" Zoroark suddenly exclaimed while reclining back even further, "If you were to stop fighting, what's left for you then? What would you do?"

"... Lots of things! Like... Uh..." Lucario answered quickly, but found his initiative faltering. Aside from eating and sleeping, what did he want to do with his life? How he would play video games with his freakishly oversized fingers? He could get a job, but nothing in particular interested him, and the good openings were probably occupied by humans and others with the qualification of actually being able to talk.

"I am the same," Zoroark spoke up to break his train of thoughts, adding a sigh of reluctance, "At least I still have No Man's Land to fight for."

"... Oh yeah? And then what?" Lucario asked, turning the question back on her for suggestions regarding his own predicament, "What will you do when you retire?"

Zoroark looked at him with confusion as she slowly sat up straight.

"Retire?" she repeated before placing her elbow on the desk-like slate, "I already told you, the odds of me seeing this thing through are zero. For placing myself in such a vulnerable and controversial position, at some point I will surely be killed."

"Eh, that's just the pessimism talking," Lucario said with a shrug, "You'll do fine! Just keep your wits about you and all you need's a bit of luck."

"Fortune to some, misfortune to others..." Zoroark muttered darkly to herself.

"What?" Lucario exclaimed, not exactly hearing what she said but wondering if his attempts to cheer her up had backfired somehow. This assumption proved to be correct as Zoroark fixed a serious stare into him, showing that she was past the point of cracking jokes.

"It seems you do not quite understand," she said with a bit of a monotone, "The only reason I continue to live is because the world is in dire need of me... And when that is no longer true, I will take my well-deserved, hard-earned vacation."

A seemingly innocent sentence, but the gravity of her expression told a different story. Lucario reflected it as he came to understand what she was hinting at.

"... You're serious?" he asked, his mouth feeling dry all of a sudden, "Come on. Living's rough, but to just give up on it like that..."

"Easy for you to say. My whole life has been a constant fight for survival," Zoroark elaborated, knowing Lucario was the only person in the world she'd ever be able to tell this to, "I struggle and suffer with a passion, but comfort and whatever else you would use to define 'good living' is such a foreign concept to me. I feel nothing for it."

"That's because you're working your ass off every day!" Lucario replied loudly while waving his arm to the side, trying to put the good things in life on display, "Make things better for yourself, you're missing out on way too much! Learn to eat, learn to laugh, learn to love..."

"And who would teach me? You?" Zoroark asked with an amused tone, but her face was anything but cheerful, "Funny statement coming from someone who's a loner despite women throwing themselves at him day and night. You know less about love than I do, and definitively less about eating."

"You've got women throwing themselves at you too!" Lucario said in a misguided attempt to make her feel better, the image of a particular Sigilyph appearing in his mind, "Just, uh... Reveal your real gender after this is all done, and I bet you can meet some guys with no problem!"

Apparently Zoroark had enough, slamming down her hands on the table with minor force before standing up.

"Just... Stop," she said while holding up a hand to silence him, "I may have grown up loveless, but from observation alone I can see love for what it truly is."

Lucario crossed his arms and leaned up against the wall, trying not to lose his cool as Zoroark fixed an icy gaze into him.

"Pestilence," she said, "A plague, infectious and debilitating. What else could transform reasonable men and women into creatures willing to do anything to fulfill their desires? A misguided affection may turn a deep friendship into sorrowful longing, envy and even loathing. Can you name a single other thing in this universe capable of bringing about such misfortune?"

"Well, it can't be all that bad if your other option is to kill yourself!" Lucario retorted, curious how she came to the conclusion that love was somehow worse than suicide, "You're not even going to try it out? What do you have to lose?"

"Of course, I would prefer to fall at the hands of an enemy," Zoroark continued as she turned her back to him and walked towards the opposite wall, "An assassin, maybe? It will paint me out as a martyr, but that is hardly the reason for my wish. In truth, of all the horrors I have been subjected to, suicide is the one thing I have been spared. To die honorably would be a fine footnote to my obituary."

"You dodged my question," Lucario said bluntly, "No disease affects the dead, not even love. Why not at least try it out? Are you scared that you're wrong, that you might actually come to enjoy life?"

Zoroark continued looking away from him, staring into the wall. Unseen to all, she flash a little smile, believing she preferred Lucario's earlier inebriated state if only because he was unable to talk back to her. Having lived the better parts of her life with a fully encompassing death wish and good reason for it, she had never really asked herself if it really had to be that way. She had been eager so long for release from the sleepless nights, the traumatic memories, to simply not kill herself when she was able to seemed like a weird decision to make.

"Who knows?" she said quietly, honestly not knowing the answer to his question, "Love's out there... But we both refuse to seek it... What's the world going to do with two lonesome bastards like us?"

"I'm not lonesome," Lucario chimed in, thinking that term was not entirely befitting of his current status, "I'm, uh, dating Zerobi."

For some reason, he could not stop himself from hesitating, an action which did not go unnoticed by Zoroark who was more than ready to switch the subject.

"Which is why you refuse to kiss her and she's constantly frustrated, I assume?" she said as she turned towards him with a bemused expression, "Even out here in the snow, your relationship is frigid. Is she holding you hostage?"

"Uh, no..." Lucario muttered, realizing everyone was picking up on the shaky nature of their relationship, "We're just... Trying it out. Seeing if anything's there."

"Is there?" Zoroark asked earnestly, moving to sit down again. Lucario swallowed hard, finding himself on the spot. Only minutes earlier he had been pining for Zerobi's presence, but mostly because she was sure to be nice to him unlike everyone else. He choked down a minor gag reflex at the thought of kissing her again, especially now that Celebi could not grow mint properly in the harsh cold.

But it was more than that. He had not seen her since realizing he had far more feelings for Mew than he had originally understood. All this time he had thought himself incapable of loving Pokémon if only because they were so strange, both in appearance and nature. Did his much too short appreciation for Mew prove that he could find himself in a similar relationship with Zerobi? Or instead, did it mean that it truly was impossible for him to love Zerobi, seeing how even after all this time he had never felt the same way for her as he did Mew? He himself did not know. Seeing her again might help nudge his feelings in the right direction. A simple verification, no matter the outcome.

"Well... Definitely on her end," Lucario said while scratching the back of his head, trying to play it off as nothing too serious. This immediately backfired as Zoroark stared at him for several seconds with what could only be described as a face of pure uneasiness, as if watching a Slowpoke try to cross a railroad.

"... You are playing a very dangerous game, Lucario," she finally spoke up, "One that will end up costing your life."

She placed her elbows on the table while crossing her spiked claws in front of her mouth, appearing deep in thought. Lucario really had nothing to say to that, waiting for her to continue.

"Consider who she is, and what she has done," Zoroark explained, her serious expression never fading, "Love does not bring about redemption. If anything, it brings about more desperation and madness. She fights her urge for blood valiantly, using your relationship as a foundation of morality. Should she discover that it was a lie... The question is not 'if' she will snap and kill you, but 'how quickly'."

"What? No! You're just paranoid, and jealous, and..." Lucario shouted back defiantly, even though every word resonated badly against his better judgment, "... Like, 'how quickly' as in how long I have to get away after breaking her heart?"

"As in how long she decides to torture you before letting you die," Zoroark elaborated, all too familiar with Astrid's testimony regarding Zerobi's rampage. Lucario pointed at her as if to say something, his face freezing up in utter horror for a moment before clutching his forehead and throwing his head back in frustration.

"Goddamn it! Why does anyone fall in love with me!?" he shouted with anguish, the memory of Torana's unorthodox proposal not remedied since he was never able to get a drink, "It makes no sense! I'm a damn human, I'm not supposed to be attractive to Pokémon!"

"Disputable, considering the rumors I've heard regarding Ethan and the close companionship he had with his Pokémon," Zoroark said while waving her hand in a gesture of disagreement. Lucario froze up again, and an expression of complete unadulterated disgust took form across his face.

"Oh my GOD," Lucario spoke as if dislodging feces from between his teeth, "Don't tell me-"

"No, no," Zoroark interrupted while waving both hands for empathies, suddenly finding it a bit difficult to withhold laughter, "Heh. Just mentioning that Ethan's Pokémon loved their trainer very, very much. Mostly just the females."

"MOSTLY!?" Lucario screamed as if a Miltank had just snuck up on him, quickly scanning the room for any blunt instrument or matches, "Quick, how do I make myself unattractive!? I'll set fire to my face, that'll make me disgusting, right?"

"Or dead," Zoroark suggested, "Considering all the scars you bear, a few extra might just make you more attractive. Ask a girl."

Narrowly halting himself from bashing his head against a sharp-looking protrusion in the cavern's wall, he slowly turned his face towards Zoroark. They looked at each other for a moment.

"A normal girl," Zoroark clarified with a shrug, "Frankly, I'm just amazed you started this whole thing being a proponent of life and love."

"I... Of course I am!" Lucario stammered, looking at the protrusion for a second before moving away from it, "Just... On my terms, damn it!"

A sigh escaped Zoroark's lips as the papers on top of her desk finally caught her eye. They had been talking a long time, and her work was still nowhere near finished. It was time to wrap things up.

"Tell me what you find," she said, restraining herself from getting up and giving Lucario a pat on the shoulder, "And feel free to join me in solitude should your efforts be fruitless. For what it's worth, loneliness isn't too bad with two people."

Without further ado, she picked up the paper on top and started reading. Lucario got the gist, but was not about to leave just yet.

"Hey," he said. Zoroark pretended to ignore him.

"You're my friend," Lucario continued while holding out a hand, "Don't you dare try to kill yourself anytime soon. When this is all over you give me a month, and I'll show you how sweet life can be."

"You will just be wasting your time," Zoroark groaned in response, her ridiculous work ethic starting to kick in at the sight of an unsigned order.

"That's OK. I've got nothing but time to waste," Lucario insisted, the fact bringing him down a bit.

"Fine," Zoroark finally said, thinking it would be fun to see what he had planned if nothing else, "We can talk later, OK? Long-distance leadership does not afford many wasted minutes. Until these orders are signed, the builders are loitering about back in No Man's Land when they could be constructing a new rail for-"

She looked up from her paper, noticing Lucario had already left. Wondering what it must feel like to be able to sense the presence of others via aura, she resumed her work, aware that she would be lying with a new set of thoughts the next time sleepiness came for her.