Thing
#12 of Poetry
Emotional practice piece for a character who's dealt with emotional and physical abuse. This is just practice and in no way reflective of my own condition/mood. Feedback is appreciated, as always.
What is this sensation that I feel?
Is it a figment of delusion or is it truly real?
To pretend that what I think isn't real
Like a child covering his eyes and ears
To make it all go away
To forget about his fears
So go on
Take a look inside my head
Hear what I see and dare to dance with the dread
Like a pendulum swaying to and fro
Counting the minutes and hours until I'd see you go
Departing, leaving me behind
Like I was never special, never one of a kind
But soon, I will forget
My only wish being that we had never met
To be apart from the demon who fed on my worry
Watching me atrophy and disappear in a flurry
Of anxiety and depression
Like none of it ever mattered to you
Like I was just a possession
Shoving me to the ground and telling me to die
Looking up and laughing at the sky as I'd cry your name
Begging you to stop and listen to what sanity remained
Pleading that you just open your eyes
To see what you've done
To see all your lies
But that's all in the past
A memory of a time I no longer grasp
Slowly returning to retain its grip on me
All I ask is to be left be
So I may spend my days by myself
Unloved and alone
For who could ever love a freak like me?
Someone so scarred and fucked up and broken beyond hope?
Still looking for a way just to cope
Looking for a way out of this hole
Digging and digging
As I slowly lose my soul
Why can't I just find someone to hold me?
To tell me I'm their one and only
To once again have a taste
Of what it's like to feel special
To feel his touch, so gentle
Finally feeling the peace I so desire
Forgetting my own inward ire
What must I do
To no longer be one, but two?
To once again be part of a two man crew
Run only by he and I
Without a worry in the world
Not a single reason to ever say goodbye