Random description.

Story by A random writer89 on SoFurry

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This is one of my first descriptive pieces of work from when I was in year 6 (6th grade for all those who dont know). Its all word for word, so please tell me what you think! I may be writing some more descriptive pieces from my recent work too. Anyway, enough babbling. Here it is:

I woke up to find myself on hill. I immediately sat up and panicked as I had no idea where I was. I soon started to relax as I took in my bearings and realised i was just on the "Lucky Root Hill Side"; A small hill with a giant tree on, like the ones you would see typically in a movie or something.

"I must've dosed off..." I thought to myself. I had reputation for falling asleep unexpectedly. I got up and started to walk home, as I did, I looked around to take in the scenery. The sky was blue and cloudless, The grass was recently cut and had that freshly cut smell. It all felt like a dream, The perfect landscape, the attention to detail, all that lark. After having a look around i turned around and took a step back to see the Lucky Root Tree in all of its magnificence. The tree was holding its ground firmly as always, and its leaves were starting to grow back. As i looked more closely i saw that some things were different, The branch we all always swing on, was gone, like it had been snapped off with brute force. The tree house me and Bill made, was smashed and looked over a century old. I started to wonder if i had slept through a thunderstorm or something and woken up in the debris. I went back to the tree to investigate, and to my horror, i was right. But only it was worse than i thought, I saw the branch, it was on top of my body, it had crushed my rib cage which punctured my lung. I felt a deep emptiness inside.... I was dead, And it was all because of my unexpected napping.

Well! Thats it! I can say its not really a description of something, just thats what i had put as the title. So tell me what you think! Could you maybe tell me what to improve/Tone down on? Loveto hear the feed back!