A Father's Love, Chapter Five
#5 of A Father's Love
His paw traveled up my thigh. His nose was dangerously close to mine.
Just a little closer. My brain urged.
I felt his warm breath on my face, it smelled of tobacco and mint. His lips were just inches from mine, then I turned my head and his lips touched my cheek.
"Stay with me?" he whispered in my ear.
Yes! My brain cried.
He lightly stroked his fingers up and down my arm, it was a soothing feeling.
I wrestled with myself.
No I couldn't. I could, but I didn't want to.
"I can't," I said.
He took my paw in his and kissed it.
"I need to be home by dinner though," I said, trying to sound polite.
I don't think Mr. Bridshaw really cared though; he was too busy kissing my paw. Then his kisses started to travel up my arm.
"Sir, is this really appropriate?" I said.
And he pulled back a bit and smiled.
"Oh forgive me, no it is not," he said.
I got over my fear eventually of venturing back into the maze. It looked less frightening today, even happy, there were flowers on its branches. I went to my usual spot, the fountain, and sat down. It seemed deeper than it used to be, then I saw a flash of dirty green. It was a little frog. I sat watching her swim, but as I bent over to get a closer look my necklace fell off.
Oh my pearls! My brain screamed.
I reached in but they were too far down to touch. I could see them sparkling in the sunlight.
"Oh!" I groaned.
I stood up and stripped down to my undergarments, but then I didn't want them to wet my dress so I took them off too. Then jumped into the fountain. It wasn't too deep, it went up to just below my breasts. There were my pearls. I took a deep breath and dove. I couldn't see except for the gray of the light mixing with the darkness of the water. I felt around with my paws, the first time I came up I pulled up a root, the second time I got my pearls. I set them on the stone wall and prepared to get out but when I looked up there was Josh.
"Nice to see you again Cammie," he smirked.
"Go away," I told him.
"No, I don't think I will," he said.
Then he grabbed my wrist and pulled me up, I was literally balancing on my toes. He held my wrist above my head and looked me up and down. It was so embarrassing! He kissed me, he pushed his tongue into my mouth. Disgusted I bit his tongue, he jumped back and then pushed me back under. When I surfaced my pearls were gone and so was Josh.
"Dinner is served," Miss Bailie's voice called.
Everyone sat down. Josh sat next to me. There was so much food and so many plates, utensils and glasses I didn't know where to put my paw.
"Good news, I've just received word that Mother died!" Uncle Atlas said.
How was that good news?
"Grandmamma Flora is gone?" I said.
"Good riddance," Daddy said, lifting his glass.
Mammy and Josh and Miss Bailie did the same.
"Oh yes, but don't worry darling she left you small fortune and some nice trinkets," Uncle Atlas said. I stood up.
"Excuse me," I said.
I left the room slowly, as I got out the door I heard Uncle Atlas say, "What she needs is a few good smacks," and I heard him laugh a bit, once I was out of site I rushed to the top of the stairs. It was then I realized I still had my napkin. I crushed it into a ball and squeezed it, trying hard to keep the tears in but they wouldn't stay. How could everyone be so cheerful about this? Grandmamma Flora was dead! I never even got to meet her.
"Save up all your tears and come back to the table," I heard Josh's voice say.
"No, I can't stand to be around them," I said.
"Your father sent me to get you, I'm bringing you back," he said.
"No, I won't go and you can tell them that," I said.
And I turned on my heel towards my room.
There was no moon tonight. I lay in bed with my lamp on, it lit the bed and a small bit of the room but that was it. The house was so noisy, so many creaks and squeaks. It couldn't be mice, Miss Bailie was very hard on the Help if anything seemed slightly dirty or amiss.
I turned away from the light, thinking I could sleep better, then there he was.
"Mr. Bridshaw what are you doing here?" I asked, but he gently put a finger to my lips to silence me.
He smiled and leaned forward and kissed me, not a hard or long kiss, just a gentle kiss, like a lover. His hand moved up my thigh, stopping just above my tail where he traced a small circle with his fingertips. He rubbed me gently, his fingers finding their way into my nether region, probing my sensitive areas.
Maybe Mr. Bridshaw could teach me that intercourse, as Miss Bailie called it, wasn't supposed to be scary, that it was an enjoyable activity like reading and dancing.
He turned me onto my back and pinned my wrists down, then lightly ran his hands up and down my arms, over my collar bone. He pushed up my shift and stroked my breasts, gently kneading them in his large but gentle paws. He kissed my neck, I moaned and pressed myself against him. He rubbed my belly, then I felt some pressure as he entered me.
"Ah Camile," he moaned.
But it wasn't Mr. Bridshaw's voice. I opened my eyes and to my horror it was Josh.
I started to cry, pushing against him.
"No!" I cried.
I hit him with my paws but he wouldn't stop. I opened my mouth to scream but he clamped his paw over my mouth.
"Father was right, you do need a few good smacks," Josh said.
He grabbed me by hair and began to hit me about my face. I started to cry. For a moment I thought he had broken my nose. He pinned my paws above my head. I looked up at him, his face was twisted with rage, he looked almost demonic and I started to shake.
He let go of my paws, I didn't dare to move, and he moved down my breasts, down my belly. I felt his lips on the inside of my thigh, then he sat up
"Pay attention Camile! Knit one, pearl two," Miss Bailie said.
"I'm sorry Nanny," I said.
My legs throbbed from last night. I wondered if it would be such a horrible thing if she should sit on one of my knitting needles.
"Keep it up, I'll get the tea and biscuits," Miss Bailie said.
Then Josh came in.
"Get out!" I hissed.
Josh dangled my pearls in his paw.
"Don't you want your pearls back?" he asked.
I held out my paw but he didn't give me the necklace. He sat in the chair next to me.
"Leave," I said.
He didn't.
My grip tightened on the needles.
"Leave," I said again.
Miss Bailie came back, carrying a tray of tea and golden biscuits.
"What are you doing here? This room isn't for boys," Miss Bailie said.
"Just wanted to say hello to Cammie," Josh said, then he got up and left. But he left my pearls on the tray. How thoughtful of him.
"I hate him, I wish he'd leave," I said.
"Well that's fine, but he can't leave just yet," Miss Bailie said.
She poured us some tea and I spread a bit of jam on a biscuit.
"I have dreams about him," I lied.
It was Mr. Bridshaw I dreamt about; Josh was the monster that had escaped from my nightmares.
"Nightmares you mean?" Miss Bailie said.
"No Nanny, dreams," I said.
I took a bite of my biscuit.
"I see," Miss Bailie said, and took a sip of her tea.
"No you don't," I mumbled into my teacup.
"What?" Miss Bailie said.
"Nothing," I said.