Words Left Unsaid
just a vent..i guess
cold,numb dark and icy are the way these words feel when you lose someone dear to you and you leave unsaid words...everything in the world has a place and time but the one thing that doesn't is death it comes at us when we least want it or expect it...and the dark cold felling you feel after that loss is more painful than you could have ever dreamed...and it doubles as you know those words could have made things better if they had been said...it drives you mad and kills off all bit of love and light you had till nothing remains but a emptiness that can only be filled with uncontrollable rage and anger....then you just go "boom" and the next thing you know is your all alone...because you drove all your friends away....and that lonely feeling makes you feel like if you just died would anyone care or even notice you just disappeared....sometimes i welcome that emptiness and sometimes i despise it so i fill it with anger...and other times..i wonder would death make things better...would i not fell this cold numbness and would i finally be free from the torment...of my uncontrolable emotions...and my dark thoughts and morbid ways of looking at the world....people call me rude mean and violent..yet they do not know how thier words make me feel inside....my world grows ever darker...and now death would be most welcome...then i could get some repreive...from the feelings i feel...but then i think if i did die how would that make the people who do care for me feel...then i say i can suffer more for them...because they still care for this broken shell of a kid...they still stand by me when no one else does...i can deal with my torment longer...just to keep them happy...when happiness is something ill most likely never feel again...