Smoking Obscenities

Story by Wisty on SoFurry

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This was a neat story written for Fyrre over on FA, detailing his fursona visiting an old friend's house and lighting up, just like good old times! Except things are a little stickier and smokier than the last time the'd been together... and his friend wasn't home... and he'd actually been snubbed for so long, it might as well be considered revenge. One doesn't really worry about the semantics, especially when one has as much fun as Fyrre did while doing it!


Thirteen-oh-six Park Drive... this was the place. The black dragon stopped short at the gated driveway, just peering through the iron gate to the house nestled on the hill. House was hardly the word for it, the massive complex spanning nearly three acres alone with a myriad of windows glimmering and gleaming in the placid summer sunset. He'd missed coming here more than he had though he would have, and it was apparent that things changed pretty quickly. The once small and modest house on the hill had grown into a sprawling, sparkling mansion that positively reeked of elegance and pomposity. Perhaps that's why the quadruped dragon had not been invited over for a few years.

Not that it mattered now.

The lock on the gate was removed, making it simple enough to just push open the wrought iron barrier and step onto the smooth asphalt driveway. His talons clacked gently as he pushed the gate into place, his body barely noticeable against the inky evening sky.

The grounds had also grown quite a bit since he'd last visited. Fountains adorned either side of the drive, small cherubs flanking majestic beasts, all vomiting crystal-clear water that shattered the fading light like glass. The stone was smoothed, appearing to be carved marble or at the very least, a cheap imitation... but given the affluence exuded by this place, it was probably something magnitudes rarer. Unsurprising, really. He plodded along the drive now, his eyes scanning to and fro as he observed the changes; small pathways darted from the main walkway that trailed beside the asphalt laced path. Small flowers danced in the warm breezes, their colors fading in the dim light. He sighed quietly as the faint, sweetly scented air brushed over his snout, making him wiggle it in delight. Tonight was such a beautiful night.

He plodded his way along the cobblestone path, ignoring the faint tinkling of water from the fountains in the front. Step by step, his claws clacked against the path, the bushes lining either side of the path greedily devouring the sound. The house loomed above him, the lights flickering off one by one and joyous voices reaching his ears; he stood still, not wanting to be noticed quite so soon, especially since he had a small case dangling around his neck that clattered against his scales occasionally.

The sound of slamming doors filled the air, followed by a slightly quieter set of closings, a purr of a six cylinder engine mingling with a faint electric buzz. Waiting for a few more moments, he could hear the gentle grating of gravel being pushed against the smooth black-top as the car zoomed past, bright blue headlights flickering on once the vehicle had fallen outside of the effective range for the porch light. The engine sounded nothing like he'd ever heard before, and the sleek blue body wasn't of any domestic makes; given their level of pomposity, it was likely some foreign hybrid vehicle that cost more to plug in than it did to make the paper for its trimmings. Oh well, It didn't matter to Fyrre.

Turning his attention back to the house, he slowly plodded along the path, being sure to keep an eye out for anything that could alert the distant neighbors to his presence... though given how tightly nestled away they were in this gated community, it was unlikely they even believed in a security system. Perfect.

He made it to the right wing of the outside gardens, and was quite surprised at what he saw. The back of the house was entirely illuminated with an eerie crystalline blue light. It confused the dragon for a moment before he peeked a little further around the hedges to see an enormous patio stretching past the furthest corner of the house, a lightly raised lip surrounding the source of the light. Being a fair aficionado of shiny things, he approached the lip to find the glassy surface of a monumental pool bending and playing with the light emanating from sealed containers down at the bottom of the pool.

The actual structure itself seemed to stretch on for miles, no two sections of it containing the same shape. It was hypnotic, almost... but jarring as well with the sheer testament of affluent waste. It was disgusting. Oh well.

He turned his gaze back to the mansion, his grin spreading across his entire face. The entire exterior of the house was a pearly white, and appeared to be coated with a type of polished granite. Given what he'd seen so far, he doubted it was an imitation. The doors were a set of double doors, opening wide to either side, more than big enough to allow his rather sizable form entrance. Now... to...

He approached the entrance and inspected it all around, peering in side for any form of a security system. None of the tell tale signs greeted him - no reed switches on the corner of the doors or windows, no pin-pad next to the door, not even a cheesy little sign denoting protection. "Well, here goes nothing..."

He gingerly pushed his fore-talon down on the door handle, being rewarded with a smooth, buttery hiss as the locking mechanisms slid past one another and the door clicked open. It swung outward slowly, no shrieking squeal greeting his ears; a quick inspection around the inside of the back door showed there wasn't a pin pad anywhere in the area, nor was there even that robotic voice that had occasionally greeted him, asking for him to enter a pass code. They really didn't have anything! Beautiful!

Stepping inside the house, he slowly spun around, his tail flicking one of the light switches. Quite to his surprise, the switch was a dimmer switch, leading to nearly all of the lights in the room, most notably being a giant crystalline chandelier dangling overhead. It cast fragments of a rainbow over the antechamber of what appeared to be a combination of a kitchen and dining room. He turned the dimmer switch to its maximum setting, just to get a good view of the area.

The room was indeed a dining room; centered between two sets of bay windows was a massive dining table that smelled of aged mahogany and some expensive lacquer; it certainly didn't reek of composite board like his own furniture did. The bay windows stretched to the ceiling, intricately decorated and carved with what appeared to be latticed golden supports. Flooring faded from plush carpeting in the dining room to a smooth, polished stone floor that seemed to give superb grip to his claws while not even indenting at all from the pressure the massive drake placed upon them. The counters were made of the same material, though they shimmered with a mirror finish while stainless steel appliances gleamed at him from every corner of the kitchen. A small island in the center of the kitchen clattered with pots and pans as his massive tail swished behind him. Reaching idly for his box, he stopped, before shaking his head. He couldn't get too eager now.

Fyrre plodded his way through the house, stopping in to the living room where a seventy-inch plasma screen television hung a few millimeters from the wall, a nice surround sound system set up on the oaken support center beneath the television. Glass cabinets on either side displayed precious bits of jewelry, images of family and friends, as well as other idle knick knacks. Cackling slightly, he turned on his paws, talons tearing lightly at the carpeting beneath him as his eyes flicked idly upwards. They had smoke detectors at least, which was giving them some sort of credit he'd not expected to give.

The other rooms downstairs were much the same, as well as a single stairwell leading down into what appeared to be a massive finished basement. He'd be sure to visit that room a little later in his trip... for now, he just wanted to explore the rest of the house.

Heading to the stairway that led to the upper floors, Fyrre found himself in a bit of a pickle. As he peered up the semi-narrow hallway, he noticed that it was going to be difficult to even fit in the stairs let alone get his entire frame up the slick, polished wood steps to the rooms upstairs. But, he was creative, nonetheless.

Using his wings for balance, he fanned them out and tilted his body sideways, using only two of his paws to guide his way up the stairs while his wings provided the weight he needed to not fall against the oak banisters. Paintings and pictures clattered to the floor as he made his way upstairs, painfully slowly at that... but finally, he could put his front paw on the landing and pull himself upstairs, only to be greeted by a spacious hallway that lead to a multitude of doors, one of which was propped open on the very end. He stalked his way slowly down the hall, being extra quiet in case someone may have been home still but blissfully unaware of his presence... or the clacking... or even the smashing of glass from the photo frames. However, he heard no immediate, scuffling to intercept him, so he simply picked up his pace and padded to the room, his heavy footfalls echoing through the house downstairs.

As he approached what smelled like a fine pine door, perhaps an old fir wood, he could see the very edges of a massive comforter draping across the floor. He nosed the door open slowly and hissed, having entered the master bedroom. The transition from the wooden floors to the carpeted ones was strange - it never had made much sense to him to not use the same type of anything in a room, but it wasn't his place to judge too harshly. He stepped into the room slowly, being careful not to slam the door against the wall as he peered around. The room was easily twice the size of any of the others he'd been in so far, except maybe the living room, and the decorations were simply stunning. There were pelts and tapestries hanging from the wall, though he assumed the pelts were _faux_since it would be rather morbid for them to hang actual pelts from the walls... but his mind was wandering now, much like his eyes. He looked over the enormous bed, nearly twice the size of what he would have used, and he was a large drake!

It looked so soft though.

Unable to really resist himself, he chuckled and leapt forward, landing on the soft, padded pillow-top mattress with a soft fwump, the springs groaning and creaking beneath him. Squirming around slightly, he pushed most of the sheets and pillows aside to make a small nest of sorts, which he reclined against. A chuckle escaped his lips as he reached down into his box and pulled it from the cord around his neck, a small purr rumbling through his throat.

He smirked, slowly tugging the polished box open with a purr, the faint scent of an exotic tobacco reaching his nostrils. A croon escaped now, his claws reaching into the velvet-lined box to pull out the smoothed, intricately carved pipe, its weight nice and comforting in his claws. He could still smell the last time he'd used it some weeks ago, and the nice blend he'd included then... but this time it was going to be more enjoyable.

He reached a little further in, pulling up a small compartment and pulling out a package of finely ground pipe tobacco, sealed in a shimmering, fireproof aluminum bag. Fyrre gingerly placed the package between two of his teeth and gripped the top with his claws, the fine foil slowly tearing with a soft, metallic his.

The contents smelled positively heavenly, a sweet, yet preliminarily acrid scent reaching his nostrils, making his body quiver in anticipation. He pulled the package from his maw and tipped it slowly to the side over the bowl of his pipe, the fine, almost dusty leaves fluttering into the cavernous bowl. The sight made him blush a little, even though no one was home; the utter desire he harbored for the upcoming moments was simply unbearable, or, at least tantalizing enough to where the dragon had already began to grow erect. It... was one of his favorite past times, but he'd waited quite some time so this experience would be one of the best yet; he was sure getting revenge for being snubbed would be quite so... orgasmic... again.

Sighing quietly, Fyrre just pulled the pipe around to face him, tipping the bowl downward slightly as he breathed a small tongue of flame into the bowl, the thick acrid smoke beginning to wisp upward almost immediately. He inhaled deeply, groaning quietly as his dual shafts throbbed to full erection in a matter of seconds that scent filling his mind with need. He reclined against the bed, giving another small purr before pulling the pipe to his lips, giving a few small puffs of air, inhaling the smoke into his lungs, only to be magnified by his own fiery insides. Blowing slowly, he used his tongue to carve intricate patterns and designs from the stream of thick, sticky smoke leaving his maw, the designs "splattering" the wall and leaving a faint, sickly brownish stain on the egg-shell white walls.

His nostrils flared a little as he caught scent of his own arousal mingling with the smoke, the feedback enough to make him jerk his hips upward slightly as hiss shafts spurted a small amount of precum onto the bed... which was more than enough to make a rather loud splatter as it fell onto the taut sheets. Rolling idly to his side, Fyrre took another few puffs before picking up one of the portraits on the nightstand beside the bed, his claws holding it as gingerly as possible while his lips clamped firmly around the base of his pipe.

He could see his old friend - he forgot his name; Wischel, Wisteail... Wistielle! That was it! The smaller dragon standing beside what appeared to be a cute fox lady and some kids beside the two of them... it was adorable!~ He exhaled slowly, his lips curling back in a small smirk as streams of smoke billowed out between each of his teeth. The billowing plumes simply latched onto the colored photo and grayed it almost immediately, the acidic air oxidizing the edges to make them turn brittle and curl up like an old book.

Gritting his teeth as he set that photo back down, he heard the small crackle of the paper joining with the faint hissing of his slow-burning leaves. He growled a little and lashed his tail behind him, his smile growing wider as his cocks fired off another load of precum, this time multiple splatters filling the room as the dragon grunted and jerked his hips. Peeking his eyes open, he could see thick ropes of precum dripping from the ceiling, falling onto the bed and floor with loud, lewd, splatters... He'd better go save some for other rooms of the house! But first...

Grudgingly rolling his heavy body out of the bed, smearing some of his own sticky precum over his legs in the process, he placed his paws on the ground and looked at the ceiling, trying to search for the tell-tale device... almost directly over the bed, he noticed a faint, green light, barely flashing beneath a hot, sticky mess of his precum, making the dragon snicker in delight. "Well, guess I won't have to worry about that smoke detector. Now..."

It didn't take much longer for the dragon to shakily navigate his way out of the room, his heavy, throbbing shafts swaying slowly between his legs. It was terrible, because every puff of his pipe made the massive girths throb a little, and every step made the tips brush against the carpet and the rest of them brush against one of his legs; it was difficult for him to contain himself at all, let alone only keep it confined to the level that only the Family Circus would be able to trace his route through the house...

He inhaled deeply again as he stepped into the hallway, smirking as he spotted another smoke detector hanging in the middle of the hall. Now was the time to test if this blend would do what it said... otherwise, he'd have to just take all of the detectors down, which would be more annoying than anything. He approached the detector slowly and placed his paws on the wall to brace himself. Taking a massive puff on his pipe, he could see the wall glimmering a little from the intensity of the embers within the bowl. Slowly pulling the pipe from his maw, he leaned up completely, pushing his lips to just a few inches from the inputs of the smoke detectors, giving a long, slow exhale into the grating. As was usual, he jumped a little when the alarm went off the first time, forcing his cocks to grind against the wall. Coughing and hissing, he spewed the rest of the smoke onto the device with no form of finesse at all, quite surprised to find the shrill beeping was dimming by the second as the thick, tarry smoke settled within the detector; in a matter of seconds, the light dimmed before flickering out of existence before the noise stopped entirely. That was sexy.

As he pulled his shafts away from the wall, he heard a slick, sticky squelch emanating from where he'd held his body. Unsurprisingly, a thick globule of precum connected his cocks to each other and to the wall as a heavy stream drooled down onto the hard wood, making his paws stick to it with wet, sticky slaps. Chuckling quietly, he just made his way down the hall, peeking his way into each of the rooms and exhaling heavy gusts of tar and dust into them.

It was like watching a magic show as all of the white walls slowly browned and faded, and any paintings and images on the wall curled and crackled as he walked past. He only smirked to himself, wondering what a nice place this would be after he was finished with it...

Thoughts were cut short as he pushed open the door at the opposite end of the hall, grunting in delight as his nose was practically assaulted with a stronger, pungent scent that he remembered well. He groaned and pushed the door open with ease, quickly walking inside in the darkness for just a moment as he inhaled deeply, both through his snout and through his pipe. Exhaling slowly, he gritted his teeth again, his shafts pulsing and throbbing needily now.

He couldn't hold back.

A growl escaped his lips as he jerked his hips forward heavily, breathing in that pungent scent as his shafts rippled and spewed hot ropes of cum into the room, the dragon able to hear them splattering against the plush carpet, the smooth windows and even something metallic. The scent of his own needy arousal filling the room, blending with all of the other scents to make him groan and grind his shafts against his legs a little, his body quivering as he marked the room with his masculine scent. He pulled his pipe from his mouth now to reduce the stimulation, soon the scent of his climax being the only one in the room, his tail shakily reaching up to flick on the light switch.

Smiling slowly as the lights flickered on, he wasn't surprised at what he saw. An entire machinery complex sprawled out in front of him, connected together with ropes and pulleys, while a rack of weights rested in the corner. Hot, sticky ropes of jizz dripped from the exercise machinery while all of the gym bags in the corner were coated with hot, sticky dragon spunk. He licked his lips and walked around the room slowly, his paws grinding his virile seed into the carpets, Fyrre just taking inventory of all of the things in the room.

Knowing the machinery was often expensive in and of itself, he idly pushed a paw against one of the suspended bars, cackling with delight as it slipped a few inches, but was held rather still by the hot, sticky seed coating the wheels and pulleys. Beaming brightly, he didn't spend too much time in the room, lest he risk losing all of his loads in this one room.

Having thoroughly explored the upstairs and made a fair mess of most everything - nearly every room's floor was positively drenched with precum, barring the exercise room, while the walls were coated with a thick layer of sticky, oozy tar and smoke, he was sure his presence was felt there, and if it wasn't... well, then they must be blind, unable to smell and devoid of all sense of touch.

He cautiously made his way back downstairs now, panting a little as it was much more difficult to maneuver his massive, pulsating shafts against the wall above the shattered glass and paintings. It was especially difficult, given the banister was nice and smooth, and that was the only place he could feasibly rest his throbbing girths against as he navigated his way down stairs, the rewarding sounds of splattering seed and precum reaching his ears with each step he too, making it really quite difficult to hold back again as he puffed and inhaled on his pipe the entire way down.

Due to the excruciatingly slow journey down the stairs once more, the stairwell was positively coated with an extra-thick layer of tar, with some small imprints here and there of his tail as it brushed against the wall on his way down... but fortunately, when he reached the landing, he could faintly smell fresh air and hear the quickly dying beeps of the downstairs smoke detector. He'd never had this much fun doing something like this.

He slowly walked his way through the living room, stopping to admire the electronics once more. A smirk crossed his face as he took another inhale of his pipe and pushed the power button to the flat screen television. It slowly flickered to life, images of happy furs prancing across the screen, but oddly soundless. He didn't turn on the surround sound, and instead enjoyed the soft whir of the cooling fan within the television. Leaning up to the air intake, he exhaled slowly, as his shafts left a deep puddle of sticky precum on the ground beneath him, the increasing throbs warning him that he was treading dangerous ground.

His heart beat a little quicker too, which was a good sign that he was going to enjoy this. As he exhaled into the intakes, his eyes flicked back to watch the screen of the television. At first, nothing seemed to happen, but as the fan inside began to stick and gum up with the settling tar, he saw the once happy, prancing and vibrant images begin to fade a little, brown and distort slowly. As the tar took effect of more and more of the television's innards, parts of the screen would flicker out at various times, giving grotesque images of only partially dancing furs now.

Groaning, he ground his shafts forward, hearing the television give an incredible effort to retain functionality before the final moving parts ground to a halt, a heavy, electric hiss echoing through the room now as it sparked a little. It was too much; the dragon giggling with erotic glee as the smoke settled in and destroyed the television, a heavy splatter of precum completely covering the oaken entertainment center and shorting out the surround sound's electric systems. Soon, a few jets of smoke emanated from them before being extinguished with a few more splatters of precum.

He paused for a few moments, just taking the utmost pleasure in enjoying the sight of the room blackening by the second with sooty tar. He could feel another, massive orgasm welling within him, the need and desire building by the second; also, compounded with a little fear that he'd maybe be caught (and partially the desire to be caught so he could give his old friend another go instead of just his gym-shorts), he quickly pushed down into the basement he'd noticed earlier.

It was impressive to say the least, once he'd flicked the light on, of course. What he'd imagined to be a play area for just the children was actually an electrical heaven. Multiple televisions were stationed on either side of the room with mirrored entertainment systems set up; the makes were indistinguishable, but one was black while the other was white. In the very corner, he saw three desktop monitors placed upon a heavy wooden table while some LED lights flickered and flashed in intricate patterns from beneath the table. In the furthest corner, there appeared to be a wine rack and a mini-bar, something he'd have to investigate a little further, but first... He needed another puff.

He filled his lungs with the thick, sooty tar, the sheer bliss of inhaling that bitter smoke enough to make the dragons' shafts fire another hot load of pre-cum across the room, this one getting quite some distance as it splattered against the support beams and some of the furniture. Meandering his way slowly along the room, He gave the televisions the same treatment as their brethren upstairs, only to hear the same rewarding crackles.

He accidentally stepped on the white system, though its protests were put out of misery by his drooling shafts, the massive, throbbing monsters steadily leaking a torrent of pre now. He leaned down into the entertainment systems' cabinets, slowly blowing more smoke into each one as a few sparks flittered across the surface before being extinguished by the tar. It was beautiful that the fact that the leaves didn't burn well at all made them the best smoke producers and some of the worst things to actually catch on fire once they'd been cooled. It was perfect to let them know he'd been there without actually burning the entire house down.

The second system received the same treatment before Fyrre paced his way over to the computer system in the corner, his smile spreading widely across his face. Before he even bent down to inspect the computer he was about to destroy, he just took a few heavy, deep puffs on his pipe to calm himself down, the comforting blanket of soot expanding his lungs. His need grew with each puff, his body tensing and quivering as he prepared to climax... but he couldn't. He let his breath slip slowly out his nostrils, a few minutes of long strands of smoke just drifting from his snout to adhere to the walls and the ceiling. He pulled his pipe from his mouth, giving a few more slow, sooty exhales from his snout to calm his body down, edging himself for his final climax that was to come.

Crouching, he peered at the setup in front of him. A massive array of monitors spread out in a command center-like arrangement, each one connected to the previous in a series circuit, some sort of shimmering metal bridge joining t hem all. It appeared to be wrought of silver or platinum, something rarer and more beautiful than stainless steel, that was for certain.

He gave a small growl of delight as he moved his way long the desk, seeing a few papers scatter here and there, while a small, multi-buttoned contraption sat on the mouse pad - he assumed it was probably a mouse, but it seemed so convoluted and purposeless that he wasn't sure what it could be. Not that it mattered, really...

But the thing that had really caught his attention was the tower stashed below the desk, easily the side of one of his bones in his forelimb... or, he snickered at the idle thought, just a little bigger than his cocks. If only he wouldn't get electrocuted for trying something as brazen as what he'd hoped to do... He peered inside the wire-mesh casing, able to see what appeared to be multiple drives all sequestered away from the power supply on the bottom. A big green board was tucked away on the side with multiple projections sticking from either end of it while the bright, flashing lights spun and gyrated slowly over top. He could hear the faint whirring of a fan, which was more than enough reason to go ahead.

Placing the pipe back to his lips, Fyrre took a massive inhale, letting the entire, burning smoke fill his entire mind. Grinning slowly, he just pushed his face near the front of the computer, small billows of smoke protruding from his nostrils now as he exhaled slowly. He could see them being taken up by the computer's fans, a small clicking echoing from inside the mesh tower. He increased the speed of his exhale, his nostrils a blaze with smoke and a few cinders here and there as those too were engulfed by the computer's intakes.

Increased clicking made him smirk, and it was only a matter of moments before it became irregular. He filled his lungs once more and repeated the process, the scents of his arousal, the burning parts and the sooty tobacco filling his mind, making his shafts twitch and pulse in utter delight. One, two, three more repeats, each edging his arousal more and more until closed his eyes when the flashing stopped, the clicking slowing.... slowing...

Unable to make it, as Fyrre just gave a disgruntled roar of delight and frustration; he'd wanted to wait for the machine to finally die from overexposure to smoke, but he simply couldn't hold it any more. His cocks throbbed, pulsed and flared widely as he lifted his head, his nostrils exuding tons of sooty smoke as his shafts fired load after hot, thick, viscous load of spunk onto the electronics. The familiar crackle wasn't even heard as Fyrre leaned back against the chair, letting his shafts spill what seemed like gallons of his seed onto the desk, monitors and tower, each pulsing ripple of his enormous shafts enough to draw the next load from within his balls. He grunted a little as his pipe clattered to the ground, landing in a puddle of hot seed and extinguishing with a fizzle, but it didn't really matter now.

Pushing the pipe to the side, he reclined on his side and gripped his slowing shafts with a paw, continuing to jerk and tease them, pulling gallon after gallon of seed from deep within his body, the floor soon coated with more than a few inches of his cum. But... after what seemed like forever, his flow finally diminished to a bare trickle, his breath but a few sooty pants now.

He'd never climaxed that hard before...

He picked up his pipe and inspected his work, the entire floor of the den slowly being engulfed by that mass of sticky seed, the black dragon groaning in delight as the scent of his sex filled his nostrils, coupling with the taste of and sight of the tobacco. Idly licking his pipe clean, he smirked and placed it back into his velvet-lined box, weakly staggering his way toward the stairs, each step causing a loud, lewd squelch to fill the air. "Mmm, enjoy your gift, Wisty. Maybe you'll remember why you invited me over so much before, and perhaps you'll begin inviting me back again~" He muttered aloud, lazily making his way upstairs to head home...

Maybe... he'd take a dip in the pool and give the kiddies something to enjoy... Maybe.