ZIGGO interviews CHARLIE BARKIN

Story by Silver Teh Coyote on SoFurry

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#6 of Furry Fan Interviews!

Episode 6! Ziggo tries a paw at interviewing! We learn that Silver hates baths and his brain plays music from Diddy Kong Racing, Ziggo will do anything for scooby snacks, Toad belongs in another castle, Annabelle knows everything, and Charlie REALLY needs a hug.


(Silver, Nitro, and Tommyfox enter the studio. Silver's fur is covered in dirt.)

TOMMYFOX: We're back on time right?

SOMBRA: No. The interview starts in about ten minutes. You guys are so dead. What happened to Silver? Or do I even need to ask?

NITRO: Oh, that. When we went log riding Silver fell off the first time and rolled down the hill...into a tree.

SILVER: Yeah...that was...fun...

ANIRO: I KNEW he would derp!

NITRO: He did fine after that though.

TOMMYFOX: Yeah, we all had a bit of difficulty. I really hurt my tailbone when I-

ZIGGO: I'd love to hear your story but we've gotta get going.

SILVER: Okay, who is the interviewee?

CHARLIE BARKIN: You're looking at him.

(Silver's fur stands on end)

SILVER: I'd glomp you, but I need to clean up. Not looking forward to that...

CHARLIE BARKIN: Uh...okay...why?

NITRO: You're his puphood hero.

CHARLIE BARKIN: Oh. Well...thanks! I don't really like glomping though. Say, who is interviewing me?

SILVER: Well...you guys all went except for Erik and Ziggo. Where's Erik anyway?

ANIRO: I'm afraid that Erik is sick today.

(Erik can be seen at home in bed with a hot water bottle on his head and a thermometer in his mouth)

SILVER: Ok then, I guess Ziggo is going to interview today.

ZIGGO: Nope, YOU get your tail out there. I just got back from Great Lakes Fur Con and I need a rest!

SILVER: Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?

ZIGGO: That depends. How many?

SILVER: Six.

ZIGGO: Well...okay, deal.

SILVER: Ok, I'll go get the Scooby Snacks.

ANIRO: Shouldn't you just hold them until the interview is over?

SILVER: Hmm...I like that >:3

ANIRO: You would have never figured that out without me, would you?

SILVER: Nope.

ANIRO: What goes on in that derpy brain of yours?

SILVER'S BRAIN: *DiddyKongRacingJungleFalls.mp3*

SILVER: HIT THE ZIPPER, TIPTUP! HIT THE ZIPPER!

ANIRO: Oh, dog...

NITRO: I have no idea what just happened.

SOMBRA: We're running out of time here...just thought you guys MIGHT wanna know that...

ZIGGO: Silver, do you have the question cards for me?

SILVER: Yeah, they're on the cable.

ZIGGO: The table?

SILVER: No, the cable.

SOMBRA: That's weird...I didn't hit him with a newspaper this time.

(Nitro discovers that the cue cards, are, indeed, within the coil of an orange cable on the floor and holds them up.)

SILVER: There they are.

NITRO: Oh, yeah, ON the cable, when they are actually-

CHARLIE BARKIN: Can we get going here?

(Nitro hands the cards over to Ziggo)

ZIGGO: Thanks, Nitro.

NITRO: Yepp. I'll be out recording in a bit.

ZIGGO: Okay. C'mon Charlie.

(Ziggo and Charlie leave, and Nitro goes through a door marked, "Audience".)

SILVER: I need a chili dog.

ANIRO: You need a bath.

SILVER: NO!!

ANIRO: YES.

SILVER: GRRRRRRRRRRRR...NEVER!!!

ANIRO: Sniff yourself, you mangy canine.

(Silver...sniffs himself.)

SILVER: You're right. I smell like a dumpster.

ANIRO: Don't you eat out of dumpsters?

SILVER: I'm not very proud of that.

ANIRO: Yes you are.

(Ziggo and Charlie walk out onto the stage.)

ZIGGO: Um...hi. Welcome to the...sixth episode of Furry Fan interviews. As Silver requested, no humans are allowed here.

TOAD: I'M THE BEST!

ZIGGO: I really don't know what you are, but you're not an anthro animal, so bye-bye.

(Ziggo pushes a button on a remote that launches Toad out of the studio)

TOAD: AHHwowowowowowowowo!

ANIRO: Where did that remote send him to?

SILVER: Another castle.

ZIGGO: Well now that we got rid of him, let's start the interview. Today I will be interviewing Charlie Barkin from the All Dogs Go To Heaven franchise.

CHARLIE: Great to be here!

(Ziggo looks at Silver's question cards)

ZIGGO: Good to hear! First question: What was with this sudden urge for double chili cheese burgers after the first movie?

CHARLIE: You forgot about the onions and pickles. Those are important. To answer your question, I guess I have always had a liking for spicy things. Spicy things are good.

ZIGGO: I know a certain coyote who would agree with you. Next question: why was Anne-Marie never mentioned, and why have you never gone to visit her?

CHARLIE: There was an episode of the TV series where me and Itchy did go to see her, but the executives cut it because there were too many dog-related jokes.

ZIGGO: That's a shame. Who are your parents?

CHARLIE: Burt R. Barkin and Loni Bowzer. I didn't know them that well, but if you pause the part of the first movie where Annabelle is reading my life book, you can see them.

ZIGGO: Last question: Why didn't you know your parents that well?

CHARLIE: I spent most of my life in the streets of New Orleans. They abandoned me when I was a puppy for reasons that I don't know.

ZIGGO: Aww. Can I give you a hug after the interview?

CHARLIE: Sure :3

ZIGGO: Time for audience questions. Seat 666.

BELLADONNA (FROM THE ADGTH TV SERIES): Say, Chucky, would you like to journey to the dark side?

CHARLIE: What part of "no" didn't you understand?

BELLADONA: Aww...

ZIGGO: Seat 53.

RYAN (from MOTION IN THE OCEAN): Why did you end up with Sasha even though you had a relationship with Flo in the first movie?

CHARLIE: What?! That was my sister! She found me not long after I met Itchy.

ZIGGO: Seat 9.

DEVLIN MISKI (from OUT OF POSITION): Have you ever thought that life is just a big football game?

CHARLIE: ...

ZIGGO: Seat 20.

EXILE (from ROAD ROVERS): How did you meet your comrade Itchy?

CHARLIE: I found him not long after I started the casino with Carface. He had lost all of his bones playing blackjack. Usually, I wouldn't care. But he just looked so sad and then he told me he didn't have anybody to go home to. So I decided to keep him at the casino, and soon he told me that he was good at blueprints and mechanics, so I got him a job as a technical worker of the casino, fired the old worker, and we have been friends ever since. He does have some...tendencies though...

ITCHY: AIDIGIGIAHH!!!

CHARLIE: What was that?

ITCHY: I have...no idea. Short legs! SHORT LEGS!

ZIGGO: ...okay, this one and then we're done! Seat 12.

WOLFRUN (from SMILE PRECURE!): Why did you give away your bad ways?

CHARLIE: Why not? Anne-Marie needed me to save her. That was more important than my own life.

EVERYONE IN THE THEATER: D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

ANIRO: Why is there a 'd'awww' moment almost every interview?

SILVER: I dunno. I guess it's because we're furries.

ZIGGO: I think I'll give you that hug now!

(Ziggo hugs Charlie)

CHARLIE: Aww, thanks.

ZIGGO: You're welcome!

CHARLIE: :3

ZIGGO: The heck with it. One more question! Seat 80.

HEATHCLIFF: Why was your character completely redone in the sequel and the series that followed?

CHARLIE: Executive meddling. But they didn't COMPLETELY change my character. If you really listen to "It's too Heavenly Here", you'll hear lines like "what good's a hustler without a scam" and "I may have done the crime but I can't do the time". And in the first episode of the series, I fail to do a mission and Annabelle asks me why I failed, and I say "I was framed". "I was framed" was a line I said in the first movie to Carface when he tells me "you are a dog with a record". And Annabelle comes back with "Oh. THAT'S a good one!" in the first episode of the series.

ANNABELLE: We know everything.

CHARLIE: What's my birthday?

ANNABELLE: September 13th.

CHARLIE: Wow...

SILVER: Oh my Akela...MINE TOO! :3

ANIRO: Seriously?!

SILVER: Yup yup!

ANNABELLE: The coyote backstage does indeed have the same birthday.

ZIGGO: Well...that's all the time we have! Thank you so much, Charlie!

CHARLIE: No problem.

ZIGGO: See you all next time!

(Later, in the prep room...)

SILVER: So there's only one of our crew left who has yet to interview...

ANIRO: And it's Erik!

SILVER: You all have done great. Much better than me, actually!

TOMMYFOX: What makes you say that?

SILVER: THE ARWING EXPLO-

TOMMYFOX: Oh yeah!

(Tommyfox giggles.)

SOMBRA: You also had that music box thing that exploded.

SILVER: Oh yeah! Heh. It was originally gonna blast Renard Queenston music.

ANIRO: Oh, dog...

SILVER: Sombra still did a heck of a job beating me with a newspaper...

SOMBRA: Well...my work here is done. :3

(Sombra laughs.)

NITRO: My interview was AWSHUM!

ANIRO: We all know why...

SILVER: Too bad that part was censored.

NITRO: Yepp.

ZIGGO: I thought I had a lot of fun out there!

SILVER: You all did great! I'll bet there's nothing to spoil this moment!

(An anvil falls on Silver's tail.)

SILVER: SSSSSSSSON OF A MOTHER YI-

(Silver says some words not fit for print.)

SOMBRA: This is getting weird...again...

ANIRO: Wait, Silver, you still haven't taken a bath!

(Silver's eyes widen and he runs out of the room while Aniro chases him.)

SILVER: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIIIIIIIIIVE!!!

ANIRO: YOU...ARE...SUCH...A...DERP!!!

NITRO: Happy tails.

-END-