Blushing Skunk, Missing Dragon

Story by mwalimu on SoFurry

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Dragon is to be honored at the next annual honor banquet for the animals of the Chinese Zodiac, which is being planned to take place at a furry convention. But what happens when Dragon gets his instructions mixed up?

This story originally appeared in the Mephit Fur Meet 2012 conbook.

(c) 2012 by mwalimu


"Before we conclude this year's honor banquet," said Jade Emperor as he surveyed the twelve animals seated around the table, "we have one final order of business, and that is next year's banquet." He smiled at Rabbit to his right, upon whom had been bestowed the mantle of honor earlier that evening, then looked at Dragon to his left. "Pay attention, Dragon. It will be your turn."

Dragon looked up at him, then back at the table where he was preoccupied with trying to stand his pen on end. "Yes yes, of course, Jade," he answered, sparing the emperor a brief glance before returning to the task at hand.

"I have prepared information sheets." He handed the stack of sheets to Rabbit, who took one and passed the stack to Tiger. "It should prove quite interesting, as it will take place at a convention of those who possess great admiration for animals of all kinds."

Rabbit looked at her sheet. "Where is this convention?"

Tiger responded, looking over his sheet. "It is near the city of Memphis, in the South of the United States."

"Everything you need to make travel arrangements should be covered on the sheet," Jade continued.

The papers had made it most of the way around the table. Horse took one, placed one on the table in front of Snake (who had no hands) then glared at Dragon, who was still preoccupied with the pen. "Yo, Dragon," he called out as he slid the final sheet across to him.

There was a clatter as the sheet knocked the pen over. "Hey, watch it," said Dragon, grabbing the sheet and stuffing it into his pocket. "Now don't anyone bump the table," he said as he picked up the pen to try again.

Jade looked at him and sighed.

* * *

"They're having the honor banquet here?" said Skunk aloud as he read over the telegram from the Emperor's Palace. He stood to walk around his modest yet comfortable abode just south of the city. "Imagine that, the pantheon coming here to the city of blues and barbeque. I shall have to see what I can do to make that bunch of stuffed heads feel welcome. Just what I need to make my life interesting." He let out a sigh.

* * *

"What the peeves could I have done with that sheet?" muttered Dragon as he shuffled through yet another of the stacks of papers strewn across his desk. Suddenly his eyes lit up. "Ah, I must have left it in my pocket," he said as he paced over to his wardrobe. Opening the door, he quickly located the coat he had been wearing that night some months earlier, and reached into the pocket.

He pulled out the tattered remains of the sheet. "Drat, it's been through the laundry," he groaned. "No way I could ask one of the others to borrow their copy. Word gets around. I'd never hear the end of the jokes." He began to ponder, and his eyes lit up again. "Ah ha, I know. I'll just go check the Internet. I'll bet I can find what I need."

As he began entering search terms, he tried to remember some of the details. "Let us see, Jade said it was to be at a convention, located in the southern United States." A smoke ring drifted up from his left nostril as his fingers flew on the keyboard. And then suddenly, Dragon got a big smile at what he saw. "Wow, that's one huge convention. All for a Dragon like me!" He rose from his seat and practically danced around the room. "This is going to be the greatest honor banquet ever!"

* * *

"Right this way," said Skunk, opening the door for Dog and Rabbit. "We have done our best to prepare the banquet room to your specifications. I do hope our facilities meet with your satisfaction. If there is anything else you desire, please don't hesitate to speak up."

Dog looked at Skunk uncertainly, pausing as he gave the mephit a sniff. This didn't seem to register with Skunk, whose only reaction was to bow to them. Dog and Rabbit filed past, followed by Rooster and Rat. Bringing up the rear of their procession was Jade. "Wow, you've really done up the place," said the emperor, looking around at the table decorations and the wall hangings.

"The staff here bent over backwards to help out," said Skunk. "It was a simple matter to find talented artists. I have copies of all the artist's renderings for each of you."

"Who did those wood carvings?" asked Rabbit. "Those look awesome!"

Skunk blushed. "Oh, um, that was my personal contribution. Just something I do in my spare time."

"Has everyone arrived?" the emperor asked no one in particular. "I saw Pig, Ox, and Goat all mingling outside."

Rat spoke up. "Tiger was in the room full of dealers, deep in discussion with two ladies at one of the tables."

"Horse was looking for a drink earlier," said Rooster. "He was heading for the special suite with all the drinks. And if I know Snake, he's probably in his room."

Jade nodded. "All right, what about Monkey and Dragon."

"What about me?" said Monkey, entering the room. He stopped short and looked around. "Wow, this is cool beans!"

"You're here," Jade replied. "So assuming Snake is here, that just leaves Dragon. Has anyone seen him?"

Everyone looked around at each other, and shrugged.

Skunk finally spoke up. "I shall make certain Snake and Dragon are advised of time and location of the banquet."

* * *

Dragon was in awe! People were everywhere, and some of the costumes were amazingly well done, if obscure. He saw monsters, aliens, and people from every sort of science fiction and fantasy setting he could imagine and some he couldn't. And he saw a few dragons, though oddly enough, none of them looked quite like him. "I wonder if they actually have peach trees in that place," he said to himself as he looked at the building before him.

He followed the crowd, checking out all the signs and posted schedules he could find, but nary a word about the honor banquet. A survey of the crowd in hopes of spotting Jade or any of the other animals proved fruitless. He glanced only briefly at a bunch of pastel-colored pony costumers who didn't look anything like Horse.

"Wow, that's an amazing costume," came a lovely voice from his left.

"It's not..." Dragon began as he turned, but when he beheld the lady who had spoken, his voice shifted timbre. "Well hello," he continued, taking in the sight. She had sultry look and wore a geeky T-shirt that seemed out of place on a body that perfect. "It is a pleasure to meet you. Welcome to the convention."

"It's just amazing, isn't it? Are you here by yourself?"

Dragon started to say something about looking for Jade and the other animals, but decided it could wait. When at a convention such as this, there were other possibilities that beckoned, other opportunities to be pursued.

The humble beginnings of their conversation quickly went downhill.

* * *

Skunk entered the banquet room, dressed as nicely as any of the rest of them. Dog sniffed again and gave an impressed raise of the eyebrow. The mephit looked around the room and gave a shrug.

Jade looked at him serenely. "What have you learned, Skunk?"

Skunk's whiskers twitched. The context seemed wrong for the way the question was spoken. "I looked all around but could not find Dragon anywhere. I finally asked the front desk if he'd checked in, and they said he hadn't even made a reservation."

"Did you check the overflow hotel?" asked Goat.

"I did, and he wasn't there either," said Skunk. "But I made a few calls. He's in Atlanta."

There were gasps and murmurs around the table, but it was Tiger who let out a bellow of laughter. "What's so funny, Tiger?" asked Dog.

"Do you know what's in Atlanta this weekend?" he said.

There were chuckles and the clearing of throats around the table. Jade maintained his composure. "Did you speak with him?"

"He wasn't in his room. I left a message," Skunk replied.

There were murmurs and more chuckles around the table, when Rabbit spoke up. "Dragon will probably claim we tricked him. Do you remember the last time something like this happened?"

"Yeah," warbled Rooster. "1976, three cycles ago."

Ox laughed. "He had some story about how he met a woman in a silk dress and lost his bus ticket."

"Year of the Cat," said Pig. "Lucky for Cat the banquet was near where he lives in North Africa."

Skunk was thinking he should duck out and let them resolve the matter as he watched the proceedings quietly from the side of the room. A rap on the table from Jade froze him in his tracks. "Order, everyone!" The room went quiet. "We have a problem here, an honor banquet with no guest of honor."

Dog cleared his throat and spoke up. "I move that we honor Skunk."

"I second." It was Tiger and Horse, speaking almost in unison.

There was more chatter and commotion around the table. Skunk was flustered and speechless, no longer able to slip away quietly and unable to defend himself against the compliments that were being thrown his way. The discussion was spirited if brief, and as soon as Jade perceived that the group had once again devolved into making jokes, he rapped the table again. "Let us put this to a vote. All in favor of declaring Skunk our guest of honor, say 'Aye'."

"Aye!" came a chorus of voices around the table.

"All opposed."

"Nay!" came the voices of Rat and Monkey. Jade gave each of them a nod of acknowledgment.

"Then by a vote of nine to two, the motion passes." He turned to Skunk, and gestured toward the empty seat. "Come, Skunk. Sit, and join us for the honor banquet. It is my proud duty to declare 2012 the Year of the Skunk."

Skunk was so embarrassed from the applause around the table that his control lapsed briefly while he was trying to sit. "Eh, sorry about that," he uttered as he stood back up. "I'll go tell the staff we need some air freshener."

* * *

"Now see, in grade school they taught us that if you mix blue and yellow, you get green."

Dragon gazed at the woman. There were people you could learn from, people you could teach, and people who were just plain amusing. It was a pity wearing a T-shirt targeted for nerds didn't make you as smart as one. "There are different theories about colors..."

"...so if blue dragon and a yellow dragon were to, you know... Would that make a green dragon?"

Dragon just rolled his eyes.