FSE

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SOMBRA: So did you and Peanut have a good time?

SILVER: Yeah! We had a blast! I think this is the beginning of a good friendship!

NITRO: What about me?

TOMMYFOX: And me?

SILVER: You guys are awshum. All of you are. You know I wouldn't just ditch ya.

NITRO/TOMMYFOX: :3

ZIGGO: So, Silver, it's the fifth show.

SILVER: IT IS?!?!?

ZIGGO: Yup.

(Silver runs outside and comes out with a big orange box)

ANIRO: What...is that??

SILVER: You'll see! :3

(Silver opens the box and a huge banner that says "HAPPY FIFTH EPISODE!" pops out with balloons, confetti and an annoying high-pitched song.)

NITRO: Wow.

ERIK: Hmm. Ok, then.

ZIGGO: He went there.

(Suddenly the annoying high pitched song becomes scrambled, faster, and more high pitched.)

SILVER: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO! I know what I'm doing, I swear!

(Everyone covers their ears as the box emits a high pitched screech)

ZIGGO: Um, Silver, could you turn it off now, PLEASE? I think a dog whistle is worse!

SILVER: Okay, you asked for it...

(Silver presses a button on a remote)

SILVER: DUCK!!!

(Everyone ducks as the box explodes, leaving everyone of course perfectly fine except for various dark gray patches all over their fur/scales.)

NITRO: WOO, DOGGIE!!

TOMMYFOX: This time I can OFFICIALLY say I didn't do it!

ANIRO: We've figured that out, you fox.

TOMMYFOX: ..........................YAY!!! :3

ANIRO: Thanks to Derpdog, it's gonna take forever to get this stuff off!

SILVER: Pff. The majority of us are canine. We roll in stuff all the time. Show 'em how we clean up, guys!

(Everyone except Aniro shakes off the soot)

SILVER: Well...you have SOME fur...

ANIRO: Yes, but I don't shake off. Dragons would never do such a ridiculous degrading thing.

SILVER: But you're part wolf.

ANIRO: I know. But if you are any part dragon you have to show dignity. How do you show dignity, coyote?

SILVER: Well, sometimes I like to chew on the back of my a-

ANIRO: That's what I thought...

SILVER: :3

ANIRO: Which is why I focus more on the honor and nobility of the wolf. Instead of focusing on eating my own-

SILVER: CRAP!! We're late!! Battle stations, furries!

SOMBRA: Since when do WE live next door??

SILVER: Since the coyote said so.

SOMBRA: Then tell me leader, who is interviewing today?

SILVER: Eenie, meenie, miney, you.

(Sombra does an anime face fault)

SOMBRA: Where's my newspaper?

SILVER: No, not the L.A.F.F. Tribune!!! AH, NOT THE MUZZL-

(*WHACK*)

SOMBRA: Are ya going to be a good boy, now?

(Silver whimpers and nods his head.)

SOMBRA: You want a treat?

(Silver sits up and pants)

SOMBRA: Now who's going to interview today?

SILVER: You! :3

(*WHACK*)

SOMBRA: WHO is going to interview today? :3

SILVER: Y-

(*WHACK*)

SOMBRA: We can DO this all DAY! :3

SILVER: Medic!

ZIGGO: Actually, according to Silver's records, he did intend you to interview, and he wanted you to review today.

SOMBRA: Oh. Okay. So who am I interviewing?

SILVER: H...Humphrey...

SOMBRA: Who?

SILVER: From Alpha and Omega! :3

(*WHACK*)

(Silver falls onto his back with his feet paws sticking up in the air)

SOMBRA: You KNOW that I own a signed copy of that movie and still haven't seen it!

(Sombra laughs nervously)

SILVER (delirious): Oh...hello...Mrs. rabbit...let's go for a walk down bacon bite lane near the river of gravy...

NITRO: I think he can't hear whatever you say to him now.

TOMMYFOX: Yup, he's pretty much roadkill at this point.

HUMPHREY: Looks like you guys know how to have some fun!

NITRO: Whoa, hello!

ZIGGO: What are you doing back here?

HUMPHREY: Some coyote named Silver howled at me that starting with me, all interviewees can go backstage in the prep room before the interview. Something about getting to know the interviewees more and not being so nervous. Is that him on the floor?

SILVER: ...Powerthirst...400 babies...energy legs!

SOMBRA (quickly): He'll be fine.

HUMPHREY: He looks like he's a real party animal.

TOMMYFOX: Nope, that's me. Yay!

HUMPHREY: So who am I being interviewed by?

SOMBRA: Um, that would be me I guess. But Humphrey...I've never watched your movie.

HUMPHREY: Well Silver did say he left some cards for you...

SOMBRA: Index cards or just cards?

ANIRO: Oh yeah that's right. Last time he accidentally showed me some other cards.

HUMPHREY: Index cards.

SLIVER: The tards are on the cable...wait, who spelled my name wrong?! I am not from Magic: The Gathering!

ANIRO: Oh, dog...

HUMPHREY: I think he said the cards are on the table.

SOMBRA: Okay.

(Sombra gets the cards of the table)

HUMPHREY: You okay?

SOMBRA: I'm just...a bit nervous...especially since I'm interviewing a character I don't know.

HUMPHREY: You need a hug?

SOMBRA: ...sure, why not.

(Sombra laughs sheepishly and hugs Humphrey.)

HUMPHREY: Don't worry. It'll be fun! You'll see.

TOMMYFOX: Yeah you guys should go.

NITRO: I'll be right out.

HUMPHREY: C'mon...what's your name?

SOMBRA: Sombra.

HUMPHREY: Cool name. C'mon, Sombra!

SOMBRA: Bye guys.

(Sombra walks onto the stage with Humphrey)

SOMBRA: Um...hi. Welcome to the fifth episode of Furry Fan Interviews.

(Some of the audience members clap and a few howl)

SOMBRA: Well...that's better than the crickets the first two episodes and the complete silence in the last two.

(Some of the audience laughs)

SOMBRA: ...Anyways, today I will be interviewing Humphrey. Humphrey, why don't you sit in the interviewee chair? You can sit, right?

HUMPHREY: Yup. I may usually walk on four legs, but anyone who watched Alpha and Omega or the sequel knows I can do some anthro things.

(Humphrey sits in the chair with his legs crossed and his arms behind his head and Sombra holds the cards up to her muzzle.)

SOMBRA: Okay, so first question. Most know wolves as being brave and fierce. But omega wolves are less of that, although they still play an important role in the pack. What is that role?

HUMPHREY: Well, it's pretty simple. One thing we do is "lower the boom", which means that we break up fights that aren't necessary or when they get out of control, especially when they happen within the pack. Another thing we do is keep the pack in good spirits. We tell jokes and encourage the pack to do its best.

SOMBRA: And as a wolf, what does that mean to you? Do you think that makes you a true wolf?

HUMPHREY: As long as you are part of the pack, you are a wolf. Not all wolves have to be brave and fierce, kind of like how not all furries are deviants. I'm the guy that makes the pack happy, and that's what I was born to do. I wasn't always happy that I was an omega at first, but hey, life is a mystery, and sometimes you just have to roll with it.

SOMBRA: Okay, so what's with the whole log-riding thing? Is it tough?

HUMPHREY: It's very tough at first, but once you get the hang of it, it's really, REALLY fun. The most important rule is "don't be stupid!"

NITRO: YEPP!

HUMPHREY: See, that Husky knows what I'm talking about.

NITRO: Well, I haven't done that, but it's the same rule for fourwheeling.

HUMPHREY: Controlling the log is the hardest part, because the grass is tough on the log. The best time to do it is at the crack of dawn, because the grass is wet. Or when it's muddy, because that's just plain FUN.

SOMBRA: Last question, and then it's time for audience questions. How do you view yourself as a father?

HUMPHREY: I love my pups with all my heart. And I'd do anything for Kate.

KATE: Yeah. SURE. I have to do EVERYTHING around the den. Like that time when-

EVE: Kate, honey, what did I tell you? If he doesn't respect your wishes, pin him to the ground and tug on his neck with your beautiful fangs until you get what you want :D

KATE: 0_o

HUMPHREY: 0_o

WINSTON: O_O

EVERYONE IN THE THEATER: O__________O

SOMBRA: Ma'am, that is HIGHLY inappropriate here.

NITRO: Woof.

SOMBRA: What was that for?

NITRO: I dunno.

SOMBRA: Anyways...time for audience questions. Seat 5.

TECH E COYOTE: Can you explain why you are obsessed with cupcakes?

HUMPHREY: They're good.

TECH E COYOTE: But canines shouldn't eat cupcakes...

HUMPHREY: And canines shouldn't eat pizza either.

SILVER (through a mouthful of pizza): Wha?

TECH E COYOTE: Touche.

SOMBRA: Seat 81.

DANGER MOUSE: What is the whole social hierarchy with howling?

HUMPHREY: The bigger the howl, the more...mature you are. Let's go with that. :3

SOMBRA: Seat 95.

BORIS (From Balto): Why you get directions from ripoff?!

MARCEL: I am not a ripoff! It's not a ripoff if you are French!

PADDY: Um, sir, technically you are considered French-Canadian.

MARCEL: I TELL YOU, I AM FRENCH!

HUMPHREY: Not this again...

SOMBRA: Want me to get rid of them?

HUMPHREY: Sure.

(Sombra presses a remote that teleports Boris and Marcel out of the theater.)

PADDY: Jolly good!

SOMBRA: Seat 71.

BATTY KODA (From FernGully): What was your opinion on the humans?

HUMPHREY: We outsmarted 'em. That's all that matters.

SOMBRA: Well look at the time! It was nice meeting you Humphrey.

HUMPHREY: If you don't mind...can I hang with you guys after? I never really did get to meet Silver.

SOMBRA: Okay, sure.

(After...)

HUMPHREY: So...would you guys like to go log riding some time?

SILVER: Yush!

NITRO: Yepp!

TOMMYFOX: Maybe!

ANIRO: Possibly.

ERIK: Hmm.

ZIGGO: Nah.

SOMBRA: ...let's not and say we did.

(Sombra laughs nervously)

ANIRO: I might have plans.

ERIK: Same here~

HUMPHREY: We'll go next morning. You guys up for that?

SILVER: Yup yup!

NITRO: It don't matter.

TOMMYFOX: Let me get back to you on that.

NITRO: We're taking you as prisoner.

TOMMYFOX: What did I do?!

SILVER: Nothing. You're just against your own free will. >:3

TOMMYFOX: Okay! :3

ANIRO: I'm not an early riser.

ERIK: Same here.

NITRO: So do you want us to all head over tomorrow?

HUMPHREY: Nope, if we want to get there and get a good rest, we'd better go now.

NITRO: What the FETCH?!

SILVER: Where do you live??

HUMPHREY: Alberta, Canada.

NITRO: THAT'S pretty far...

SILVER: Especially from Illinois...

HUMPHREY: Hehe. You guys don't have to go all the way to Jasper Park. I was kidding.

TOMMYFOX: I thought I was the fox here!

NITRO: You're still a fox.

ANIRO: I second that.

HUMPHREY: There's a hill in the Laff area that I discovered when I rested here for the interview. It's not too tall but the route is gonna be crazy and we'll have breakneck speeds.

NITRO: Damn! Now that's what I like to hear!

SILVER: I hope I don't fall off...

ANIRO: Chances of a derpy coyote such as yourself falling off are 99.9%

SILVER: In that case, I'll go to prove you wrong.

HUMPHREY: Okay, guys, we'd better get going anyways. Because reasons.

(The four leave)

SOMBRA: That was even weirder than last time.

ERIK: Uh...happy tails?

-END-

(Note: I do not mean any offense to the entirety of the French people. Paris is a beautiful city. It's just based off of Marcel's joke in the movie. M'kay? M'kay.)