11 Touching Base
Enchantment of the SeasJuly 14, 20134:23 pmStateroom #8096 "No I'm not kidding Debbie I want an honest answer, how do you see me? When you look at me what comes to mind?" she asked her friend again. "You're fucking serious aren't you? OK fine, I see what most people see Daisy. I see one of the most strong willed people I know, you've always decided what you want and went for it, no matter what it takes or what it might cost you. You've always gotten whatever and who ever you wanted. You're fun to be with, you're a party girl and not afraid to grab someone and throw a fuck on them, does that answer your question?" the bunny girl asked, concern in her voice. :Daisy I've gotta tell ya, your kind of scaring the shit out of me. It's not like you to be..." "That's the whole point Debbie, I don't like what I am. Not the being a herm thing, that's what I am and nothing will ever make me want to change that. But it's what else I am that I don't like, not anymore. You said it yourself just now, a party girl and a slut. That's all I really am to everyone. For fucks sake I'm seventeen years old goddamn it and I haven't had even one serious relationship in my life." She flopped down on the couch, her pacing over the last fifteen minutes becoming irritating to her. "You, fuck you were all but married to Mark at what eight years old? Oh sure , 'Daisy the dick chick has nailed plenty in her time', yes I've heard those comments and a lot of others Debbie, they didn't used to bother me. But all this fucking mess with my brothers, has me wondering if maybe I'm not partially to blame for the way Paul is. It's not like his 'big sister' was any kind of role model for anything other than a reason to get laid for fucks sake." "Daisy, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Debbie asked, shocked at her friends self deprecating attitude. "Okay so the little fuck messed up, BIG TIME, but that's not all that's got your panties in a twist is
it?" A long silent pause passed, Debbie thinking that the girl had hung up on her before Daisy spoke again. "Look, we'll talk about this some other time, I think I need to just think some shit over okay? Besides someone is blowing up my phone with text messages, I'll talk to you later," she said, quickly ending the call. After several deep breaths to get herself under control a little better she tapped the screen of her phone bringing up the latest batch of texts from the one person she really did want to talk to right now. [16:06] Cecily: Daisy, don't go blaming yourself for things that are out of your control. Lilly does the same thing about a lot of what happens. She even blames herself for not digging into the [16:06] Cecily: thing with your brother at dinner. She had a bad feeling about him with the way Zoe's mother said something was being done instead of your parents. Stopping for a moment, considering what Cecily had said she felt a pang of anger at the words, 'she had a bad feeling about HIM. Might have been nice if someone warned me about YOU too.' She scolded herself a moment later for taking offense at the message. 'Damn it Daisy, don't blame her for what happened, you don't know what that girl has beenthrough, and the fuck tard did get what was coming to him. Okay maybe more than what he deserved, but at least someone did something other than let it slide. She has a point about dad not speaking up though.' shaking her head to clear her thoughts she let it slide to the back of her mind as she read the other messages, [16:25] Cecily: I can't do this [16:30] Cecily: I need to talk to you, and this is not working. I need to hear your voice. But, I don't
want to make you do anything you don't want to. so, if you want to, call me,. Please. She stared at the last words, 'if you want to, call me.' The little mouse had no idea how she had been struggling with that very decision the entire day. More than once having her finger poised over the dial icon for the girls number before losing her nerve and clearing the screen. It wasn't that she didn't want to call her, but that she kept losing the nerve to call and hear the girls voice. The messages from earlier still burned into her mind, convincing her that things between them had ended. Rapidly thumbing through her contacts she called up the number that separated her from either relief of her fears, or total destruction of her hopes. Several long moments passed, her finger again poised over the dial icon as she struggled with her emotions and the decision at hand. Closing her eyes, praying that she was making the right decision she pressed the icon, holding the phone to her ear waiting as it rang. No matter what happened next, it was up to Cecily if she answered or not, either way he would have some kind of an answer at last... (Hello?) Cecily answered the phone as if not knowing who called. (Hi, it's... it's me Daisy. If... if I'm bothering you just say so and I won't call again.) the moose girl said, her worry and nerves almost getting the better of her as she started to hang up and give up once and for all. (Shit!) the sound of objects dropping could be heard through the phone. (No... Um.. . Hi. are you ok? your last message worried me. So.. um... I wanted to really talk. I think we need to.) (Ummm...) she trailed off, considering for a brief moment lying to the mouse girl once she heard her voice. She decided that she had to be honest, she had to know where she stood, she couldn't take it any more. (No, no I'm not okay...) she said, her voice barely above a whisper. (Hold on a sec.) Daisy could hear more fumbling in the background then her voice back louder than before. ( Ok, um... You can tell me anything. It's just me and you. What's wrong? Is it anything I can help with?) Cecily's voice came across the phone with a slight digitized echo in the background as she spoke. (There's so much I need.. I don't know where to start. But ... if you're going to get into trouble for talking to me maybe, I should just... ) Her fears were taking a hold again, she could take a lot of things, but the mouse girl getting into trouble because of her, or rejecting her again... that was just too much. But she had to know, once and for all she had to have one answer... no matter what it was she had to know. (Sisy, do you...do you care about me at all beyond being a friend?), there it was, the one question that weighed most heavily on her mind. The answer to which could very well spell heartbreak and sorrow. But she had to know. (Daisy...) The long pause lasted for what seemed to be eternity. (... Right now you are all I can think about. You, your brother and his baby. Everything that went so wrong... I was thinking a lot about the thing you said before you left the room. How you don't want to be used. And about how I felt when I did what I did to Paul... It's all confusing to me. I have never felt the way I do about you with anyone. I can't stop thinking about what it is like being with you. Just having the cake and ice cream for your birthday. I like you a lot, and if I could...) she paused again for a long moment. (We have no real plans for the future right now. It's kinda hard to explain,, But I want to... I wish We could move closer to where you live, but that's not likely to happen. And I can't expect you to put your life through the wringer to be with me. And I don't want to make you do anything. I want you to...) she paused (Ok, damn.) she said out of no where (Look, I like you, every moment I was with you was the best time I have had since Lilliana and the Dark Riders came into my life. I want that. I want to be happy, but lets get real. You live in Colorado with family and friends, and I live with a bunch of now unemployed nutjobs in a cabin in the woods in Oregon. I can't have what I want. And I don't want to hurt you... So... What do I do?) Daisy listened intently as the mouse girl spoke, hearing
every word as if her sanity depended on it. The emotion in her voice was as clear as glass, Daisy had been wrong all along. She had let her fears and worries lead her to believe the timid little girl she had fallen for was trying to hurt her, to leave her behind like a bag of unwanted trash. She was trying to protect her from being hurt instead. The girl felt for her as she felt for Sisy. (Oh God Sisy, I....I'm as big of an idiot as my younger brother. I thought... I thought you were just....) She paused trying hard to control her emotions, and to gather her thoughts to say what she needed most to say to the one she cared for. (Sisy, I didn't mean what I said about being used the way it sounded. Sisy because of you I... I've taken a good look at myself, and I don't like all of what I see.) (Join the club...) Cecily interrupted. (What I just learned about myself over the past day...) she trailed off for a moment. (I don't know about who you are.. or were back home. And you really don't know that much about who I was... or am. All I know is the moose I have been with over the past few days is the person I like... a lot. I have a lot to deal with from my own past, and I guess you do to, but that's what friends are for... right?) (No, that's not what friends are for, that's what good friends are for, that's what someone that cares about you and ... and loves you is for Sisy. Friends can just use you for what they want or think they can get from you. Those kinds of friends I have a lot of, or had a lot of. I see that now, you... you showed me that I've let people use me for what they could get from me. That stops, now and forever that stops. I don't need, and I don't want friends, not like that. I want real friends, friends... friends like you Sisy. And you're right about something else, let's get real. My family is fucked up, it's falling apart at the seams and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. One brother,) she said, a slight giggle heard by the mouse girl on the other end of the conversation ( the older one Ralph, well... I know it may sound a little creepy me saying this. But Ralph is a stud, and he's more of a man than I ever thought he was. Dad and Daniel are trying to split them up and make them give up the baby. He's not standing for it. He's not going home with mom and dad, he's trying to find a way to make a home for him and Zoe and their baby. I'm really proud of him for it too. But
the rest of them? The other brother is broken and troubled, he needs help and he'll get it, mom will make sure of it even if dad just half assed things from the start. As far as going home to family and friends? No, not really but I do have to go home and I know it. But I don't know what's going to happen when we get back to Colorado. All I can do is wait and see. But what I care most about, what I needed to hear more than anything else in the world... God) she said, pausing for a moment trying hard to steady her voice before she actually said the words in her mind, (What I needed to hear you say was that... that you care about me. About me Sisy, not about a friend but about me.I know it won't be easy, hell it may be nearly impossible, but I want to be with you too. Even if it's just for one day every three months or something. If you want to, I want to try to make it work Sisy, but I need to know if it's what you want too.) (NO!... I'm not going to put it on speakerphone...) the odd outburst catching Daisy off guard for a moment. (Look... Daisy... I want to try also. The only thing is... um... We will be moving sometime after we get back from the cruise. Lilly is looking for a new job and we are all going to move to wherever that is. And I have no idea when that will be. And while we are at Hank's cabin there is no cell reception out that far... so...) She stopped trying to think of what to say next. (Hold on.... I got to hang up on Lilly, she's being a douche... Stop it Lilly. Go call Fluffy or Boomer or something... Ok.. I want to make this work... some how... but we will deal with that when we get there. Now... what's else is bothering you? I know it can't be just me.) Hesitating, unsure how to tell the girl what her guilt was about she decided the best way was to just be out with it and let things happen as they would. The worst thing she could do now, with the mouse girl sounding determined to try to make things work was to lie to her about anything. (Yea, there's..... something else bothering me. You need to know about it and I'd really rather you hear it from me than from anyone else. It's about my brother Paul, and... and what happened between you and him, and between him and me.) Daisy waited for the scream of anger before she continued, waiting for a sound that didn't come.(What you did to Paul...
I was planning to do pretty much the same thing to him myself Sisy. That's part of why I was more concerned about you than him. I felt that dad let him off way too easy and I was going to make him pay for what he did to Zoe myself... again.) (Again?) the mouse squeaked. (Damn it... stop trying to get Boomer to call me.. That's it. I'm going to the bathroom.) the silence lasted only a moment with no background noise other than the digitized echo of her voice. (What do you mean 'again'?) (I... ummmm. Well, the same night Paul raped Zoe, I offered to keep an eye on him and all. Gave my room to Ralph and Zoe so they would be left alone by everyone, so dad put me in Ralph's room with Paul. It was a single bed so we had to share it, I thought it would make it easier to keep an eye on him, he wouldn't be able to sneak out without me knowing it.) As she told her story to the mouse girl on the phone she felt her face get hot, embarrassed to even be putting what she had done into words. (Long story short I wasn't... I hadn't... fuck. I had been fantasising about people on the ship for 3 days, while I was asleep I got horny and I ass raped him in his sleep. ) Daisy blurted out her tale before she could stop herself. Hoping the girl wouldn't find her disgusting and sick for what she had done. (So... um... was he any good?) Cecily asked in a half hearted jest. Daisy's jaw dropped for a moment, the herm busting out in laughter, the question from the mouse girl completely unexpected, catching her by surprise. (Oh My God I can't believe you asked me that. You...) she said, trying to get control of herself again, (you don't think I'm some sick freak because I butt fucked my own brother in his sleep?) (Come on Daisy, I tied him up and shoved a dildo up his ass while I was awake. Who am I to judge you for something you did in your sleep?) Cecily asked. (You didn't even
really know what you were doing I'm sure. So what other 'Sisy's going to think I'm a freak' things you got? I bet I can top them.) (Well, after he woke up and freaked out because I blew a load in his ass I freaked out and let him fuck me to make it even. I know, but I was on the spot and he was bitching about 'telling mom', it was the first thing that came to mind.) Daisy was feeling better having gotten it off her chest, even more since the mouse didn't think she was a sick freak. (So... um... again... was he any good? You kinda brought me to my senses before I did it.) The small mouse girl asked. (For someone your size he might be... he's kind of a shrimp dick to be honest) she answered before what Cecily said had sank in, (wait what? you were gonna..... you were gonna fuck him? Are you serious? Oh My GOD girl, if I had known that I would have turned around and walked away when I heard you panting and moaning through the door. I only came in because I thought the little fucker had gotten loose and was maybe raping you. Wait did that sound as evil to you as it did to me?) (Well.. um.. I had him tied up and all ready for it... he was having fun untill i whipped him.. I think. But the evil was all on my end of things last night.) She said just a little quieter than before. (Go away Lilly, i can take a bath by myself.) The sound of frustration vivid in her voice as she spoke to the liger. (But, um... I am really glad you came in when you did... and that you didn't end up doing that to him yourself... It's... It's kinda scary. I can't get the look in his eyes out of my mind. I couldn't even look at Ralph, I still don't know if I can.) After their shared confessions Daisy felt much better, she knew now that her worrying had been misguided, she wasn't what the girl was afraid of. As she listened to Sisy telling her how what she had done to Paul had affected her she felt bad for the mouse girl. Feeling more like the 'girl' that she had been the day they met she grinned to herself unseen by the shy mouse, who sounded far less shy as they
talked on the phone, as a thought played across her mind. (Well... IF I had the chance I think I could help you get his eyes out of your head, maybe replace them with mine. Give you something far better to remember...) she said giggling softly as she made the playful remark, hoping the girl took it the way she meant it. (But I guess that'll have to wait for another time... But seriously Sisy, I'm sorry if I've been an ass about anything. And just knowing that you want to try to make this work is enough for me for now. I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to, or that you aren't ready for yet.) (Daisy, I am just happy that you're still talking to me. Um... I don't know how you have things planned for the next few days. We are doing what we normally do, figure it out when we get there, it seems to work better that way. And I think we are leaving pretty quickly after the ship lands on the last day. but you can call me anytime you want. Um... do you want to do anything... together... if you can?) The mouse girl asked with a sad undertone in her voice. (Well, since we talked I can scratch anything stupid off my list.... just kidding Sisy. But I will take sitting in my room crying like an idiot off that list. Only real plans I have now are just keeping an eye on Ralph and Zoe, Paul is under lock and key in the hands of ship security now. Where he should have been to start with. But I don't want to interfere with anything you and Lilly have in mind you want to do. If you want to get together for lunch or something let me know, for me I think just relaxing and trying to forget the last four days worth of bull shit will do me fine. I will be thinking about the cutest, sexiest mouse I've ever met though, a lot.) (I... Daisy... Um... I don't want to hang up, ) Cecily said. (But, I don't know what to talk about. And I think Lilly is getting ready to go eat.) (Phone calls work both ways Sisy, you can call me anytime you want to talk too. But if Lilly is about to go eat you need to go with her. You need to eat too...peanut brittle)
Daisy said, waiting for the mouse to ask the obvious question. (Peanut brittle? Really? That's about as good as Flower.) Cecily said smugly (It fits you though, small, brown, a little nutty and sweet and tasty.) she replied giggling at her pet name for the kangaroo mouse. (We'll have to work on you and the pet names... I am sure if... when you get to meet the rest of my family you'll get a crash course in goofy and cute names.) The mouse girl said with a little giggle. (Snuggly.) (Snuggly? You're kidding right?)The moose herm asked grinning even though the mouse couldn't see it. (Any particular reason for that one, sweet lips?) (Let me think about that for a sec...) Cecily let the comment hang in the air for the moose to come up with her own ideas. (And 'sweet lips' could easily be you too, hot stuff.) (Now you're just guessing with that last one sexy legs, you don't know whether my stuff is hot or not... yet.) the Moose said, not giving in to the girls playful jabs. (OK... I'm coming... Um... I guess I need to go eat. Maybe we can get breakfast tomorrow before we head out for the day.) Cecily offered an opportunity for them to get together. (Maybe even Ralph and Zoe or something. Breakfast is supposed to be a family meal, and mine has been feeling a little small for the past week.) (You got it, I need to get that pair out of their room and into the daylight, name the place and time and I'll have them there if I have to drag them the whole way.) (Um... We usually wake up really early so... as soon as the Windjammer opens for breakfast. We've been doing room service so I don't know when anything opens. But Lilly keeps asking if I want to go out for food.) The shy girl admitted sounding confused on timing of anything. (We kinda still live on an east coast time frame, so we are like five or six hours off out here.) (Sounds like a plan Sisy, and that would be, hmmm let me think a minute...) the moose said, quickly doing the time conversion in her head, (okay the Windjammer opens at 6 am, this close it would be Hawaii time, so for you that would be, wow almost 10 am on the East coast. I'll have Ralph and Zoe there by 6:30, they really need to get out and get some sun, so I'll see you in the morning for breakfast and Sisy,) she added her voice dropping to a low whisper. (I can't wait to see you again, and I.... I miss you.) (I Miss you too, Daisy. See you in the morning.) the mouse girl said the sound of disappointment evident in her response. Just before Sisy ended the call, Daisy heard the disappointment in the girls voice. It tugged at her heart pushing her to her limit. She couldn't take it any more, she had to say the words she had left unspoken, hoping that it wasn't already too late, (Sisy I love you...) (I... I love...I love you... Daisy.)Cecily struggled with the words before ending the call. As the call ended, Sisy's stammered admission rang in Daisy's ears. 'I love you... Daisy.' She stared at the phone in her paw as if it had magically appeared only a moment ago for several long moments, barely breathing afraid to break the moment. Her foot paws carried her to the bathroom, even though she couldn't quite remember walking. As she looked into the mirror, a bright, wide smile greeted her. "She said it..." she heard herself saying, OH MY GOD!! She actually said it...she loves me...." A single tear
formed in the corner of her eye as a warm, happy glow enveloped the moose girl, her face blushing even as she stared at her own visage. "She really loves me...."