FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

*Silver sits in a turquoise director's chair in a dimly lit room with his legs crossed, twiddling his thumbs*

SILVER: I'm hungry.

*Aniro enters the room*

ANIRO: What are you doing, you derp?!

SILVER: Thinking about how I got into this mess. And you'd better stop calling me names.

ANIRO: Why?

SILVER: Or I'll tell everyone what REALLY happened at New Year's Eve!

ANIRO: You wouldn't!

SILVER: I could >:3

ANIRO: Well you'd better get your tail into the prep room. All of the others are waiting for you!

SILVER: Okies.

*Meanwhile, in the prep room*

ERIK: Silver's gonna flip when he finds out who his very first interviewee is.

NITRO: Krystal?

TOMMYFOX: Wolf O' Donnel?

SOMBRA: Doggie Kruger?

ZIGGO: All of the above?

ERIK: You'll see. Hehe.

*Silver enters the prep room with Aniro*

SILVER: Hey guys. So who is my first interviewee?

ERIK: Fox McCloud.

SILVER: Grr. Wolf is far superior.

SOMBRA: Wolf was on vacation. Besides, what have you got against Fox?

SILVER: He's boring and Krystal and Wolf make my leg shake.

EVERYONE: ...

ANIRO: You dog.

SILVER: Woof woof bark? :3

NITRO: That's a 'yote for you.

ZIGGO: You start soon, Silver. Your Mohawk is a little messed up.

SILVER: Meh.

NITRO: You'd better get on stage. Are you SURE you want to do this, buddy?

SILVER: If this fails I'll just end up making a fool of myself. Besides, it's a new year so I want to try something new.

ERIK: But fan interviews are so 2006. This is 2014.

SILVER: I know what I'm doing!

(Silver walks right into a pole)

SILVER: I meant to do that.

*Silver exits the prep room*

NITRO: Eep.

ANIRO: He's roadkill.

*Silver walks onto a stage in front of an audience filled with every fictional anthropomorphic animal and furry from all forms of media*

SILVER: Hello and welcome to the first episode of Furry Fan Interviews!

*Crickets can be heard*

SILVER: Uh...at this time I will remind you all that no hoomans are allowed.

MARIO IN A CAT SUIT: Here-a we go!

SILVER: You will in about two seconds.

*Silver snaps his claws and a giant spring propels Mario through the ceiling*

BOWSER (in Nelson Muntz voice): Ha ha!

SILVER: Cool? Okay. Don't worry he had a 1-UP. Let's have a warm round of the paws for our first interviewee, Fox McCloud!

*The audience claps but Fox McCloud does not appear*

SILVER: Um...Fox?

*Still nothing. A tumbleweed rolls across the stage*

SILVER: How patronizing.

*An Arwing crashes through the ceiling and onto the stage with a loud crash*

NITRO: Hoo, doggie!

SILVER: That almost made me go feral...oh, my heart.

*The cockpit of the Arwing opens, revealing Fox*

FOX: You're Silver, right?

SILVER: Yup yup.

FOX: Sorry I'm late. I had to jet!

SILVER: It's all good. Let's get this show on the road. What was your father like?

FOX: Oh, he was awesome. I can't remember him that much but he always would teach me about what being a pilot was like, and of course that's why I joined Star Fox. I really miss him.

SILVER: Sorry I had to ask that.

FOX: Aw, you're fine.

SILVER: Thanks. Okay, next question.

FOX: Shoot.

SILVER: You are aware that the barrel rolls in your games aren't really barrel rolls. Can you explain this?

FOX: Believe me, you're not the first fur to ask me that. And I'm aware of that too. My guess is that Nintendo didn't have the graphics space in the early '90s to simulate what an actual barrel roll looks like.

SILVER: What is your take on Slippy?

FOX: He can be a pain in the neck at times, but he's my puphood friend and I can't let anything bad happen to him. Like when he crash landed on Titania we just had to go save him!

SILVER: That was REALLY annoying.

FOX: When you're on a mercenary team life throws all sorts of things at you.

SILVER: I guess. Okay last question and then it's time for audience questions. Do you love Krystal?

FOX: Do I have to answer this?

SILVER: Yes.

FOX: Why?

SILVER: Because the coyote said so.

FOX: ...yes.

(Half of the furry universe loses it)

SILVER: Well...that was...a thing. Audience question time. I'm gonna call out a number. If you have the number on your seat you may ask fox a question. Seat 13.

YLVIS: What does the fox say?!

SILVER: Out!!

(Two giant Lucarios drag Ylvis out of the theater)

FOX: I was gonna say "thwack".

SILVER: Ha! I see what you did there. Seat 95.

BALTO: Did any of the endings in Command actually happen?

FOX: Heck no.

SILVER: Seat 89.

CHARLIE BARKIN: Why are you and Wolf always fighting?

FOX: Believe it or not, we were best friends at one point. Then after my father died, something in Wolf changed. He only wanted to be a pilot for fame and fortune. Then he got kicked out of the Star Fox training program and vowed revenge against me. He's trying to kill me while at the same time there are many trying to kill him.

SILVER: Seat 8.

PEANUT (from Housepets!): What's your greatest fear?

FOX: Dying alone. I don't know what I would do without my team.

SILVER: Well that's all the time we have. I'm surprised. I actually am more of a Wolf fan and didn't think you were that interesting. But I was wrong. No offense.

FOX: None taken. Thanks for having me! Sorry about the mess I made.

SILVER: It's going to need some stitches.

*the Arwing explodes, sending Silver flying into the prep room, smacking him into the wall and leaving him charred black*

NITRO: Are you okay?!

SILVER: I can't feel anything, so I guess. But he won't be.

FOX: M-m-m-y Ship!! It was only one day under warranty!

SILVER: Don't worry. We'll build ya a new one.

SOMBRA: And HOW exactly are you going to do that?

SILVER: Uh...with toothpicks macaroni and glue?

ZIGGO: It's going to take more than just first grade art...let alone...art...to fix that.

NITRO: I don't know much about planes. Cars yeah...

SILVER: Oh. There's the pain.

NITRO: I think we should call it a day. End transmiss-

ANIRO: Do you wanna get sued?! Then again, what should we say?

SILVER: Happy tails!

*the camera recording the interview show disintegrates*

-END-