April Fools Day, Centralite style

Story by TheNovelist on SoFurry

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#86 of Exploration


Once he had finished his food, however, he walked into his room, and shut the door. There was about fifteen seconds pause, and then the sounds of splintering wood, as though someone was breaking their door down. Alduin smiled to himself. Simba looked at Alduin.

"You octo bonded his wardrobe door?"

"Maybe." he replied, and we left it at that.

Draco arrived back through the door, walking towards the bathroom. Did I mention he did everything naked since he woke us up? He was carrying a pair of trousers, and he paused to tease Alduin, who he had rightly guessed as the culprit.

"Nice try Alduin, is that the best you can do?" he asked, and then shut the door in the bathroom. Alduin went over to the door, and octo-bonded it quietly. Then he sat back down.Simba was watching my fellow human with a peculiar smile.

Then there was a hurried shout from inside the bathroom, and a howl of surprise and pain. Alduin looked at the pair of us, and then looked thoughtful.

"No, that is the best I can do."

"What did you do?" Simba asked.

"Sprayed Draco's clothes with a pheronome that the tentacles find attractive, and told them he was in heat, and was due a lot of sexual need."

"Which means fuck him til the end of time."

"No, until midday." Alduin replied, as there were thumps coming from inside the bathroom. Faint whines emanated after a few seconds.

"I also told it to ignore him, as all of us know his dominant streak, so we shall not be seeing him for a few hours."

We left the quarters, and Alduin only burst out laughing when he judged himself far enough away from the room.Simba just looked amused, but I was laughing, because it was funny.

We arrived at the food store. This is a short sentence, but doesn't give a description well enough. The room was mostly packed, with various creatures at most of the tables. I recognised Time Dancer talking to a tiger, Blake talking to Gareth, and Alecto talking with a dragon, but everything else, there were so many species! There were cat like creatures, avians, many wolves, dragons, and blends of everything.

Alduin waved to everyone as he entered, and I followed directly behind him to a table. Simba went off and talked to a lioness who looked like him, maybe they were cousins. Everyone looked up at me as I entered, they hadn't seen me before. Alduin had given me a small backpack with some things he thought I might like, and we sat down beside Silverine.Alduin was between the Lupogriff and me, thank god. The table had three others at it, a reindeer with the most superb antlers, who never the less looked very shy of the company.

The second was a sleek panther like creature, who I could put a name to due to his very obvious and singular manner. This was Grant, and he welcomed me as I sat down. The third was a god in wolven form.

He was part wolf, but his arms were scaled and draconic, as was a tail coiling around his seat. He also had the most magnificent wings, and to top it all off, he looked very handsome. This must have been Valmeero, the one Alduin said drove the women wild. My opinion? He would drive men wild. Every movement was smooth and cool, and it helped he wore no shirt either.

Shirts were very much in short supply. The reindeer didn't wear one, for obvious reasons, Val didn't, Grant didn't, Silverine wouldn't. Doran, two tables across and talking to a snow leopard, both weren't wearing a shirt.Alecto was one of the few non-humans that was, he was wearing a very silky and billowy shirt, not unlike the silver runic shirt Alduin was wearing, and frequently wore to and from work. Alduin leaned over the table to shake hands with Valmeero.

"Morning Val, Grant, Kodey. This is Ryan Lewis, he comes from my planet, he had the audacity to find out about us."

Valmeero gave a little laugh, and offered a furred hand across the table. I shook it, giving a short nod to him."In my defence, Valmeero, if you heard a bang inside your best friends's place, you would be inclined to investigate."

He chuckled again,"I bet you weren't expecting what you saw."

"And this is Kodey." Alduin pointed at the reindeer, who nodded at me from the far end of the table.

"Nice to meet you Ryan." the reindeer looked cute and innocent, and had a very gentle voice.

"Who's he going out with?" I whispered to Alduin. Alduin jerked a thumb at Silverine, who was grabbing a drink from the bar.

"I do not know, nor want to know, how that happened." I hissed. Alduin smiled as the Lupogriff sat down, and slid a covered mug to Alduin.

Alduin casually stopped it with his palm, and passed it to Valmeero. Valmeero was half way through a yawn, and he accidentally on purpose batted it to me. I got the drift, and batted it straight back at him. He deflected it to Grant, who pushed it hard back along the table at Val. But he pushed it far too hard, and it skimmed down to Kodey, who grabbed it and placed it in his kit bag.

"Is nobody thirsty this morning?" Silverine said innocently.

"Two to one that's been spiked with a love potion." Valmeero replied, examining his claws. Kodey smiled.

"I know, why do you think I'm keeping it?" he said.I made a mental note not to accept anything from the reindeer.

"So where's Draco, I've been awaiting a prank from him?" Silverine asked.

"He's currently got the tentacle monster set on him, that's my prank from everyone on him." Alduin replied.

Everyone looked up and looked at Alduin, who drew a bottle of water from his own bag, and took a great draught from it.

"You didn't!" Grant exclaimed.

"I did, and both Ryan and Simba saw it happen."

There was a bang, and Grant, Silverine and a couple of people across the room suddenly were pinned to their chairs by metallic coils. Alduin looked behind the chair.

"I thought so, it says "Gotcha good, and it's signed Time and Takori."

There was a peal of laughter from her, and after Silverine broke the chair to bits getting out of his, he found it pretty humorous. Grant looked quite patiently around until Time told everyone the release code, and Val leaned back to get Grant out of his restraints.

I carefully checked the floor and table soon after that. Both appeared safe.

Not even the floor. One of the dragons walking over to me stepped on a panel, and was immediately hoisted into the air by one foot.

"Geez, what took people so long! I was thinking everyone was going to miss it." a bunny said.

"Winslo, only you would set this sort of magical trap." the upside down dragon replied, hanging suspended by his ankle from nothing.

"Nice to see you too Brendan." the bunny replied.

"Can you let me down?"

"Are you prepared to submit?" the bunny enquired, and there was a huge laugh. The dragon considered this.

"O.K.,just hurry up, my foot's going to sleep."

Winslo chanted, and Brendan collapsed to the ground.

"I hope there aren't others." he said, dusting himself up.

"Using more than one isn't fair, although it would guarantee me someone stepping on one." the bunny replied, as the dragon moved over to him. Then Tufty tried to sit down next to an elf, only to fall straight through the chair without touching it. Turns out the elf, Felicia, had made a very good illusion of a chair.

This looked extremely amusing for those who weren't caught, except not funny for those who were. Also one drink was busy making it's way across several tables, Doran had passed it to Alduin, Alduin gave it to Valmeero, Val leaned backwards and placed it in front of a tiger, who genially slid it over to a wolf, who passed it to Time Dancer. I pointed it out to Alduin.

"Is anyone going to drink that?"

"Do you want to be fucked for the next three hours?" Alduin asked.

"Not particularly." I admitted.

It came back this way, and came to me. I held the covered mug, and looked at Alduin.

"How good's your clay shooting?"

Alduin drew his rifle, and pointed it past my head."Throw it at the door when I say."

I brought my arm back.

"Pull." I tossed it hard at the door, and there was the resultant crack of the rifle. The mug was smacked in the middle of it's flight, and there was a spark. Liquid went everywhere, and the mug was knocked against the door.

Everyone looked around, except someone by the door who picked up the mug and found the bullet had stopped trying to leave the mug.

"Stop trying to spike me or Ryan." Alduin said out loud.The tiger behind Valmeero turned to face Alduin.

"I was just about to say that, Alduin."

"Ah, Ryan, meet Ryan. Ryan Lewis, this is Ryan Viper, our tiger from the US Marines. Ryan Viper, this is Ryan Lewis from St George."

"I know the town by reputation only. Fierce chess team there, correct?"

I nodded.The tiger came from Earth?It seemed safer not to ask.

"I was one of the leading chess players." I replied.

After half an hour of idle chat, we were disturbed. This was not the casual disturbance of a prank, but by the arrival of Draco.The door was smashed off it's hinges, and splintered everywhere, and the dragon stood in the doorway, blowing flame heavily. The light flickered eerily on him from behind, he looked almost dark for a couple of seconds.

He did not look happy, and he also did not look clean. His body and face had organic ropes of semen all over, and he was steaming with rage.His wings were unfolded, and his facial expression looked set to disembowel. If Draco was looking at me like that, I would have run for it. People had jumped and were looking in fear at this strange apparition.

Fortunately, it was Alduin who was receiving this look, and he looked back at Draco standing on the wreckage of the door the dragon had just busted down. Draco was still naked, and even his cock still dripped with cum. Alduin was still smiling, everyone else was looking either scared or astonished.

"What did you do to my clothes?" Draco hissed.

"Covered them with pheronome last night.Once again, Draco, I plan ahead.Be prepared for it."

"Do you know how many tentacles fucked me?" the dragon stalked towards our table, and people in the way hurriedly moved aside.

"I could guess a lot, I told it to." the human replied, as the dragon reached our table, and picked Alduin up by the front of his shirt, easily lifting him by one hand from his seat, until he was almost standing on said seat and looking Draco in the eyes.

"That was not funny." the dragon hissed inches from Alduin's face. Alduin refused to get scared, or in fact react with any emotion at all.

"Oh, and you call waking us up with your god awful roar not funny? I knew you were going to prank us, I just made sure I got one back."

"That was more than one." the dragon let go, and Alduin fell to the floor, landing hard.

Draco hit a panel with his foot, and six occupied seats, Silverine included, suddenly found themselves ensnared with metallic bonds as the floor panels erupted. Silverine had to break a second chair to get out of his, but Draco had already stalked out of the food store, leaving behind five people who were still stuck. Alduin rubbed his foot where he had landed badly.

"That dragon has a strange sense of humour." He said conversationally as Silverine had to find a third chair, checking for traps.

Takori and Time Dancer were trying to break themselves loose, as was the snow leopard and an albino fox.The last who was caught was the dragon who ran the place, his seat had done the same. Draco hadn't even bothered to think on it, he just chose six at random.No one was making particular effort to free those trapped, but then Time and the snow leopard had said that they didn't want any help.The albino fox was busy casting fire spells at his own bonds. Also the fear of Draco taking revenge on someone who lended a hand deterred assistance.

Silverine sat down for the third time, and drank deeply.

"Clever, but not very effective against me." he said, of Draco's bonds, which had retracted now it had nothing to aim again. I casually swung out one leg and whacked the panel Draco had touched. The spidery coils shot out again, and Silverine looked surprised as they netted across him again.

Fortunately no one had noticed my wayward foot, and Silverine sighed.

"How did he come up with this?"

"He got me to engage some under-floor mechanisms." Kodey replied, tapping a computer he pulled from his pocket." I could crawl through the under-floor space for fixing wires and the air conduits, and he promised I could have it off with someone of my choice we caught."

Silverine laughed, his hands were free and he reached over and clapped the reindeer's shoulder, who blushed.

"I see, and who were you going to choose?"

"I had no idea who I was going to be confronted with." Kodey replied,typing out commands.

"Are you letting me out, or do I have to break another chair?"

"I'm working on it." the reindeer replied, running a furry finger over the touch pad.

"Tell you what, you stop this damn thing in less than a minute, I'll suck you off. Nothing like a bit of incentive."

Kodey was already into it, and it took about forty seconds before all the Lupogriff's tentacles retracted for certain.

"There, I've switched them off. The interesting thing is who hit the panel the second time, Alduin?"

"Wasn't me." Alduin replied, he had drawn a pack of cards and was playing patience. I made myself busy ruffling through my kit, and found a chess set on the top of my new backpack. How thoughtful. I put out the fold up chess board, and the box of pieces on the table, and began with practised skill setting up the pieces. Grant looked at me.

"You fancy a game?"

"I don't care who I play, as long as I play someone."

"Better enjoy it." Kodey replied,"because you touched that panel."

"And so what, Silverine could break out of if he tried." I replied, as I placed the last two pawns and shook hands with the panther to start the game.

"Do it again, I will fuck you." the Lupogriff threatened, but I was already immersed in my game.

I found out quickly that Grant was not very good at chess. I ruthlessly and methodically wiped his pieces from the map, and wasn't aware of anything else happening. Grant on the other hand kept looking over my shoulder when I was looking at him move, and he seemed to be hiding sometimes a smile, sometimes a look of surprise. The game went on for about five minutes before there was a loud bang next to my ear, and I looked up, startled.

Alduin was pointing his rifle upward, he had just fired, and was looking at me with a grin.

"I asked you twice if you wanted a bottle of Lift."

"He also clapped beside your ear as well, for good measure." Valmeero said from beside Grant.

"I've heard of total immersion, but that takes some beating."

"On the other hand." Kodey said, "Ryan's systematically beating Grant off the board."

"I wasn't denying that either." Alduin looked at the game. Grant was down to a rook, a pawn and his king, I still had three pawns, and about five of my important pieces.

"Yes, behind the lithe frame is the mind of a mastermind."

"It's criminal." Grant sighed.

"Yes, a criminal mastermind." Alduin chuckled, and got the groan he was after.

"You're the criminal mastermind here, Alduin." The Lupogriff nudged the laughing human with a grin.

"I'm the devious sneaky one, he's just got logical brainpower, and lots of it."

I finished Grant in five more moves, and thanked Alduin for the board and pieces. He dismissed my thank yous, just as Draco got back, clean and in a pair of trousers.

"Alduin, you haven't sent Ryan to Arachno for an ABM yet?"

Alduin slammed his hand on the table, sending up a spider web of cracks.

"I didn't, damn.Come on Ryan." He got out of his seat, while Draco was walking over to the albino fox who was still trying his fire spells on his bonds.

I followed Alduin out of the food store.

"Sorry, Ryan, I completely forgot about this. Not all the planets we visit have an atmosphere that works with ours, and you need to get an ABM implanted."

"What's an ABM, and and who does it?"

"The ABM has a filter that changes all the air in coming into what we are capable of breathing. The operation takes a wee while, and is painless, as you aren't awake for it. And as to who does it, he is Arachno."

"Arachno, sounds familiar."

"Arachno is of course the human translation for his name, but he is a spider, and I do mean spider."

He wasn't kidding, and Arachno was scary. He looked at the two of us as we entered, and the many eyes scrutinised us. He was something like a centaur with the abdomen and middle section of a spider, with six legs, and the front was an almost human torso with four 'arms', and a spider head.

"Ah, Alduin, how are you?Who is the visitor?"

Alduin walked up, and clapped one of Arachno's arms in welcome, briefly hugging the spider.

"Good to see you, Arachno. I've been keeping out of trouble, so far, but Ryan Lewis here needs an ABM."

"Does he?" the spider looked at me, and I shuffled uncomfortably.

"Ryan, before you lose your nerve, you are not the first who finds Arachno intimidating." Alduin started.

This didn't really help. As Arachno moved from the operating table, Alduin steered me to it, and lay me down on it. It felt soft, but not too soft. He handed me a glass of liquid.

"Drink up, we can't have you dying from suffocation."

I looked at the purple liquid with less than eager intention. But I drunk it, and I instantly felt myself falling into a blackness.I felt so alone in that blackness, except for a single voice that followed me as I fell.

"I'm still here, Ryan."

With a jerk I awoke, and Arachno was bent over me.I rolled off and landed on all fours, to the sound of laughter.

"He did better than I did!" Alduin was holding onto a cabinet, laughing. Some people have a strange sense of humour. Arachno looked not surprised at all at my panic, and I realised that I was also not the first to spring off my bed at the sight of the spider after an operation.

Alduin took my hand, and nodded to Arachno. the spider nodded,and Alduin brushed his teleporter.

It was automatic, my eyes shut in reaction, and I fell for half a minute before landing on Alduin's living room floor with very little force. He brushed himself down, and looked upwards, at a panel in the clear roof.

"I have a very good idea where you can sleep." he said, and clapped his hands loudly. A small green light came on, and a steep but solid ladder folded out from the roof and the panel opened. The ladder hit the floor, and he climbed up the ladder. I followed him and found ourselves in a reasonably large attic.

"It's three metres all round, except at the edges, where it's only three feet tall. All the junk that was here has been moved into a glower made series of rooms underneath the surface, made out of concrete and reinforced steel.Furthermore all the rooms downstairs only open to my voice. Up here on the other hand, it works on a clapper system. Or there's a button up here if you think that's too high tech."

"It's surprisingly warm, I thought attics were cold."

"I've got some fancy air systems that keep it very nice. I'll just see if I can't find a bed."

There was a flash of light as he stopped speaking, and there was a plain wooden wardrobe, a large chest of drawers, and a bed with drawers underneath. There was also a coat stand with hooks for various purposes. Alduin looked stunned.

"Glower, where are you?" he asked to the air, and a glower appeared, chuckling.

"I thought I'd help Ryan settle in." the glower chuckled to itself, and then vanished. Alduin breathed out.

"There are some disadvantages to having friends who can teleport to your house, and especially ones that can turn invisible." I realised I had stopped breathing, and began again.

Of course, this meant a trip down to the Y.M.C.A to collect the gear I had, and Alduin took me shopping to find some more casual clothes and essentials to fill my drawers. Alduin's eftpos card seemed to have no limit.

"Where are you getting all that money?"

"I work two jobs. One is Woolworths, the other is Central, and Central pay is lucrative." he said back.

We also got enough toiletries and groceries for the next week for both of us. Furthermore Alduin, with his gun license, bought me a modern single shot rifle, which he promised to teach to learn to fire. He also bought a couple of hundred .303 rounds. Apparently the dealer had seen this before.

Thus loaded up with groceries and random stuff, we went into a side alley, and teleported back to our house. According to Alduin, there was a special device embedded under the living room floor, which meant everyone teleporting in would land there.

Immediately, Alduin started sorting out the groceries. I was still dumbstruck from my new possession of a rifle, this guy was unstoppable. I clapped tentatively, and the panel opened to the flash of the green light, and the ladder slid down. It took about ten seconds, which was sensible because you didn't want to brain anyone underneath. It took only four to go back up mind, because it was right beside a pillar, and the sled the ladder travelled on was actually bolted to the pillar.

I immediately began sorting out my new possessions, placing my clothes into relevant and organised drawers. The miscellaneous stuff into smaller drawers, and my jacket and my great coat, I had seen a bunny on Central wearing one and wanted one like it, in my wardrobe. Alduin finished with the groceries, and there was a loud bang as a couple of someones teleported in.

"Ah, Valmeero, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

The wolf's smooth voice replied." Silverine asked me where Ryan was, we thought the group with Doran, Felicia and Orion could do with a fourth member."

"Sounds like a good group, all intelligent, two magicians, and all capable with weapons."

"I've never seen Felicia with a weapon?" Gareth's voice sounded confused.

"She has a staff, like Winslo, and while it doesn't ice cube the opposition like his, it's got an iron core, and it very strong. I am speaking from personal experience, she is good with it."

"Since when did you fight her?"

"She wanted to challenge me when we were on leave, staff on staff."

"Who won?"

"It was a draw." Alduin replied, as I heard someone climbing the ladder.

Valmeero poked his head through the trapdoor, and saw me. I waved to him, and he climbed up into the attic. He clapped his hands, and the ladder went upwards against the pillar and the panel shut. A dim light bulb was the only thing lighting the place, and I sat on the bed as Valmeero came over.

"Enjoying it, Ryan?" he smiled. I looked amused at the suggestion.

"Well, except for my drinks were spiked, the pranks were definitely not nice, and everyone scares me."

Valmeero laughed, and spoke.

"Just as well you didn't see what Ryan Viper did before lunchtime.I carry an antidote to love potion at all times, and escaped before I got embroiled. The difference between him and Alduin, Alduin's got a lot more subtlety.And Alduin's a lot more evil with his pranks."

"Tell me." I rolled my eyes,"You did see Draco's expression?"

"I saw Alduin's."

"I thought his ass would have been taken then and there."

Valmeero laughed and sat on the bed beside me. Trust the glowers, it already had a pair of sheets and duvet. Both pillow and duvet were in matching white cover slips.The bed was as soft as silk too, it was a seriously comfy bed. Sitting next to the wolf dragon hybrid, I felt his wings brush against me in the dimness.

"Don't worry Ryan, today was a day we all were allowed to do some more-than-normal silly things." Val replied. The switch for the light was a dangling cord above the chest of drawers beside the bed.

Why was I thinking about the lighting? I had what had been rumoured the most gorgeous male on all Central sitting beside me. Draco was cool, naught would beat him in my opinion, but I still wanted to have sex with Val.

"It's still fun though." I admitted, as the wolf stretched his arms from his bare chest.

"You work out a lot."I said, looking at his pecs.

"I have had many people say the same thing." Val replied, his wings brushing again as they folded back in.

"So did you come up here for sex, or just to tease me?" I asked, and Val laughed.

"Actually, I did come up to ask about Central, but I'll go with sex, it's much more fun." he took his time working with his trousers, as I stripped, and before long I saw Valmeero in all his naked beauty.

And I thought gods were good looking.Not even Alduin looked this good naked. He caught the gaze, and smiled.

"I like what I see too."

He leaned over and kissed me. I came closer and placed my hands around him, which he was not slow to copy. He leaned me back onto the bed, and I lay spread eagled on the bed the wolf hunkered over me with ravenous delight.With little delay, he thrust his well developed member straight into my ass.

Valmeero was not of the sedate school, or at least after ten seconds I thought not. He thrust at a very decent speed, and he growled in pleasure. There was a clapping noise from downstairs, and the ladder descended. Valmeero turned to look at the descending ladder, and then clapped his hands, brining it back up half way.

It rose fast as usual, and Alduin was standing on the bottom rung, having leapt for it when he realised it was going back up. He surveyed the scene with a critical glance.In one hand he was holding a knife.

"I was just going to ask what you two wanted for lunch."

Once again, Alduin managed to keep a straight face in the front of something truly incredible. I didn't rise, but I spoke.

"Sandwiches sound fine."

Valmeero smiled. "Is that mince I can smell?"

"Yes. I was making a pasta." Alduin replied, spinning the knife into the air and catching it.

"Sounds good." both of us said.

"And to drink?" Alduin asked.

"Juice please."I asked.

"I want something with a bit more protein." Val replied.

"Well, Ryan won't mind." Alduin replied tastefully. Val laughed, and clapped his hands.

Alduin hung onto the ladder, and he disappeared from view. He clapped it, the ladder came back up and the trap door closed.

"What did he mean by that?" I asked, as Valmeero resumed his thrusting.

"He meant that if I wanted lots of protein, I could suck you off." he said, panting a bit.

This was obviously something they were all used to. But Val seemed to be in that sort of mood, for after he ejaculated into me, he sucked me until I let go too.

We came down the ladder, as Gareth was hovering around Alduin, looking at the human cook.

"Can I have a go?" Gareth asked, grabbing for a measure of salt, and Alduin brought down the wooden spatula on Gareth's knuckle.

"No, you set the oil on fire last time you tried." Alduin replied, as the fox retreated, rubbing his fingers.

There was a bang, and Draco arrived in the living room.

"Lunch! Excellent, I'm starving."

"Yes, and no pranks, April Fools is over." I wagged my finger under his nose, and he laughed.

"That doesn't stop me looking for sex."

"Well don't look in my direction." Alduin said, adding the measure of salt to the pasta. We talked around the bar, watching Alduin's culinary expertise. What a weekend, and the thought of work tomorrow.Why didn't Alduin live on Central? It would save a lot of time and effort, not to mention the chance of people like me finding out about him. But then I realised why, the same reason he carried his rifle everywhere.

It was home, and I had come to my home,too.