FSE

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So hereis part 11. ive been combining short chapters so im even closer to being past reboots and on to new materials! i will be posting a reference sheet in the near future as well as requested because honestly ill get lost as well!

hope your winters are going well and everyone is safe if you are in AMerica and getting hit by this cold...storm...whatever it is. Buffalo NY had its first blizard in a while so whoo hoo! fun fun for me! ive been stuck in my house for a bit hehe

Chapter 11

"Put me down put me down put me down put me down!" Ricky stammered over and over like a crazy, though the laugh and the smile spoke otherwise. Desmond had showed up at the room and was very easy to read. But despite that he seemed like a kind and peaceful bear, he was still a bear. Even if you gave him language and clothes there was still that primal fear inside Ricky that made him feel a bit uneasy. Still, there was also a form of childish wonder in the fact that he literally just got a bear hug; not that he would ever admit that. Desmond already radiated the characteristics of an energetic and very physical person; gentle sure, but he was still lifting Ricky up to his chest in a bear hug after a few brief moments of meeting him, swallowing Ricky in fluffy fur and hoodie.

"Sorry buddy," he replied sheepishly, carefully placing the human back down with equal control as Pence but seemingly double the effort, like Desmond might break him or something and thought of him as fragile, and honestly he probably was. "I'm a hugger." He was very shy even though he was almost as large as Felix, and very relaxed, but his tone was very timid for someone his size, the fur quite possibly concealing a blush. "Ricky right?" he asked, giving his hoody a quick sniff but still keeping eye contact.

"Yeah, and don't worry about it," Ricky said simply, he put on a smile but his chest felt heavy as the others came over to say hello, a feeling of furry claustrophobia setting in. He'd grown up in New York City; if he'd had problems with crowds he would have been effed, it was for that reason alone he knew it was because they were different.

The human clenched his fists in both concentration and frustration; he wanted to relax, but he also wanted to hit himself. He had always thought of himself as open and accepting, but it wasn't until Pence had helped him out that he even considered the Varius worth thinking about as people... that shamed him.

Pence placed a large paw on Ricky's shoulder, pulling him away from the other advancing Varius calmly, but with the intent of his comfort, shooting him a knowing smile as he went to sit back at the comfy recliner. Ricky joining him on the couch beside it. He could hear the whispers of 'I didn't scare him did I?' Which got Ricky that annoying all-knowing grin from Pence, followed by Namy's assurances otherwise and swift change of subject to the days plans.

"So what are we gunna do?" Griffin asked loudly, silencing everyone, "I don't know about you guys but I need different clothes, these wreak something awful," He added, taking a whiff under his raised collar and gagging for emphasis. "I'm a dirty guy, but even I don't want the smell lingering too long."

"Well Pence got those ancient cables for the twins to hook up the playstation so we need to stop by the lounge at least to see if they are there," Miki said, placing the 'fixed' Rubik's cube on a small coffee table, "But if the twins aren't there they may be at the pool or gym, doesn't Trace like to swim?"

"They won't be home that's for sure," Felix added, "They never leave each other's side and their new little sister won't stop crying, Cain can't stand it."

Ricky looked over at Pence and tapped his shoulder, "There's a pool here?" He asked curiously and a bit in disbelief, "You never said that."

Pence rolled his eyes, but nodded, "Yeah, in the gym area, swimming does work every muscle after all. Really Ricky I couldn't give you a full tour in a day, it's a BIG ship ha-ha and we haven't even gone up or down a level."

"And us fun guys also swim for fun," Miki said, plopping himself down next to Ricky and pulling him into a little headlock, "You got a little fish in you?" He asked playfully, refusing to release the struggling boy, but not trying to actually do damage. Miki knew Ricky had his mental limits from what Pence had told them all the night before so he avoided to much physical contact with the human, but it was in his nature to have some.

"Do you?" Ricky asked, arms struggling to push aside the mass of fur and muscle around his neck, and failing miserably. "I wouldn't know, there aren't a lot of places to go swimming in the city, not for free and not alone anyway." And with that Ricky kicked off the arm of the couch and with every intention of doing so, flipped over Miki and broke the hold; then not so intentionally fell on top of the dog in a crazy mess, knocking them both to the floor with headaches. "Shit!" Ricky exclaimed, grabbing the back of his head, "Well I'm graceful, I'm sorry, you okay?"

It was only then that he realized he was talking into the rotties face. Inches from it in fact. Lying on his belly, those dark eyes staring back into his with a cheesy grin. "No sweat dude," he said, a bit winded, and probably dazed from the concussion of skull to skull contact. "But really guys!" He shouted up to the group, making no effort to remove the furless weight from his chest, "Are we gunna go to the pool? Is that the plan?"

"We're finding the twins first," Pence said, picking Ricky up off the rottie, "Then the pool...right?" He asked once more, getting general approval from the group who just basically went with the makeshift plan.

"Can't we just text them?" Ricky asked quietly, not looking at anyone in particular, and already trying to fade into the background, picking up the Rubik's cube to take back to his room.

"Woooooooooow..." Felix sighed, shaking his head, "Please tell me it's just early; how did no one think of that? Griffin you message them."

The smaller cat looked up, "Why me?! I'm oldest I have seniority over you! You make the call of shame."

The bull grinned, standing up, towering over the cat who craned his neck back to look Felix in the eyes, "Screw seniority I could crush you! How about if you can touch the horns atop my head-"

Griffin simply kicked between the Bull's legs, stopping himself just shy of the valuables. "Fuck you!" he shrilled, "I don't care that I'm small, just stop bringing it up!"

****

"Should I ask where you found this?" The orange twin asked, his eyes skeptical and knowing, but still, even Pence knew the two were going to use it. The two had been in the lounge, it was Cain's turn to watch the little ones, and so it was Trace's turn to watch his... less the patient twin, go from the crying in their home, to the screaming here.

"It's the right one right?" Pence asked, not wanting to keep anyone waiting. He had drawn the short straw on this one, literally. The group had drawn straws and the shortest would find the twins, and the second shortest would find Calper; Griffin was excluded as he was getting his girlfriend from her room, and while Miki was getting the straws Namy and Desmond had snuck out to avoid the work entirely. That essentially left Pence, Miki, Felix and Ricky to divide up the jobs, Felix was off finding the groups favourite pig, and MUCH the Pence's distaste Ricky was off to the pool with Miki.

"Yeah it's the right one, I'm actually just shocked you remembered the name of the cord, Tamarack is a very, very, VEEERY old model." He looked at both ends, giving the cord a once over, blowing the ends to get the dust out, "If you stick around a moment you can see the Play-station in action. Want first go? I think you have the rights to call it."

"Not now, later though," Pence waved off leaving the lounge without another word, his mind not even on the missed opportunity for practicing social graces and worse not even giving the usual 'goodbye' or other assorted salutations or small talks. No, his mind was too focused on Miki with Ricky. That damn dog was either toying with him, or messing with Ricky for real; both cases made him angry.

"Where's the fire!" Trace called as he left, and that was the end of that.

****

Ricky stared up at the large dome that was the swimming area of the Imirahu. The area had a handful of bleachers for watching events should they happen, and the main pool was humongous. The pool had the same idea as those on earth with underwater markers to keep actual swimmers in a straight line, though the Varius version was a black bottom with white lines as opposed to the visi versa colour scheme. Then there was the secondary pool which went deeper than the main pool and had no lanes, a few people, human military personal included were playing water polo. On top of that there were assorted hot tubs and cold tubs dotted around the facility for athletes and relaxation seekers alike.

But that was not what Ricky was staring at. The dome above them was beautiful. It was clearly fake, but two suns sat side by side among some clouds, birds flew by and actually cast shadows on the floors. The suns seemed so real, blinding and direct, heat emanating although it wasn't unbearable.

"You like?" Miki asked, doing what Pence did and waiting for the intake, making Ricky both thankful and self-conscious of his 'zoneouts'. "That's real UV rays shooting down so don't sun bathe too long, Varius don't get sunburns mostly so yeah." He turned, "Pool for laps, pool for fun where the cool kids hang," he said, sticking out his tongue playfully, "Or you can enjoy the rays, or whatever." He turned around and pointed at the base of the bleachers, "Locker rooms," he finished, marching off towards them, human in tow.

Ricky followed slowly, still taking it all in. Back in the city you didn't dare go to the local pools alone, and you were a loser if you went to the YMCA without friends so he didn't get swimming time much, hell, he wasn't even sure of his prowess in the water anymore. Before, when his mom was around and Ricky was ignorant to the threat level of the local pool, he would swim around in the deep end, do laps, hold his breath, the whole shebang; he just prayed it was like riding a bike, the not forgetting how part anyway.

"You coming?" Miki asked, locker room door ajar.

"Yeah," Ricky muttered, following the Rottweiler inside. It was a basic locker room, you couldn't get very varied on a place to change and lock up valuables. They were in a vacant shower area upon entry which flooded out into a room of Varius style lockers which were very small, most likely due to the limited clothes they wore.

Miki took off his shirt, and then opened one of the lockers with a thumbprint scan, and threw it in. Ricky couldn't help but smile while still feeling a bit of shame. On earth there would literally be signs reading 'not responsible for anything damaged or stolen,' Varius went out of their way to ensure that everything ran smoothly, everyone was happy, and everything was safe. These kinds of precautions used for gym lockers wouldn't be used in most police stations to ensure the place where everyone looks up to for safety was secure.

He snapped too, realizing he was staring at the stripping guy in the locker room. He followed suit, taking off his own shirt and hesitantly put a finger to the scanner which blared red instead of green. Ricky frowned, trying again and getting the same resisting colour, the off green locker not opening for him.

"What's up?" Miki asked, walking over to take a look.

"It won't open," Ricky said simply, trying another and getting the same colour, that red light impeding his progress.

"Huh, that's strange. They must not be set up for human fingerprints yet. Ha-ha, it thinks your fingerprint is a Varius joke!" He laughed. "We get two lockers at a time and that's it so," he continued, opening the one that had previously denied the human, "Just use my second one, I don't have anything but my clothes anyway."

Ricky swiftly changed out of his stuff and donned his swim trunks, the towel over his shoulder. He had never been one for sports so he was a bit shy around other people in the changing rooms. When it came down to it he could be casual, but he really didn't like to be there, school had been a nightmare more than one time in that aspect. He shivered with the recollection of the names he had been called, the lies about him, and worse off about his mother. If there was one thing he would never do again, it was tell his sob story, he couldn't provide that weakness. That low-blow hurt too much to risk a repeat.

"I'm all ready." Ricky said casually, turning to leave, Miki at the door. Ricky froze, staring at Miki, his form completely absent of clothes of any sort.

"Finally yah slow poke, ready?" Miki teased.

Ricky looked away, "Where uhh...where are your trunks?" He asked hesitantly, face blushing a bit.

Miki waited a moment before answering, "Did you see me bring 'em? I don't have any. No Varius had ever thought of such exposure as bad, that's you guys." He tried to catch Ricky's eyes with his, "Are you okay with that?" He asked gently, cursing himself for once again not acting on his knowledge of Ricky's cultural barrier and issues. Honestly Miki knew he had over stepped a line now that Ricky refused to look at him, but worse off he knew it was Ricky's line too, not many people at 'The Heart' would buy into the idea of trunks and bikinis to hide their bodies.

Miki stepped forward slowly, trying to calm the boy before he had one of the panic attacks Pence had warned about, "Its okay, I'll go put clothes on okay? Just stay focused."

Ricky stepped back, this time his breathing not increasing. He flashed back to the kids in the locker room at school. That day. Jerry Petrovanski, the thankless douche who started it all. The kid Ricky should have left for dead; it would have been so much easier...

"I'm not..." Ricky started, walking back over to his locker, the door not opening for his finger, he swore under his breath, "OPEN IT!" He yelled, the dog doing so, pants on.

"Ricky its fine you don't have - we don't have to swim today okay? Just don't freak out, calm breaths," Miki tried, not wanting to have scared the little human away.

Ricky grabbed his stuff and made to leave, stopping at the door to look back at the dog. He looked sad and caring. Useless and hating himself for it. Ricky sighed "I'm sorry." he said simply "Thank you." and walked away.

****

Pence rushed to the locker room, Ricky leaving and bolting by him. The lion turned immediately, "Ricky you okay?" He asked the human walking fast and for the door. Pence debated whether to follow or see who the hell distressed him. He decided to put a face to the act. Just as he got to the door, his least favorite Rottweiler exited, trying to yank on his shirt, calling for Ricky to come back. Pence caught his arm and yanked the dog back into the locker room.

"Dude Ricky is freaking out we need to go-"

"What the hell did you do?" Pence asked with a robotic chill in his voice, somehow more terrifying then heated anger. Miki would have flipped shit about the lion blaming him, but he saw the feral in the lions eyes and knew better then to start flipping out on him.

"I forgot humans are fond of covering themselves," he stated simply. "It didn't cross my mind until it was too late." Pence wasn't the only one who was scarier when calm.

Pence felt his nostrils flare as he grabbed the shoulders of Miki's shirt and slammed him into the wall of the showers. "What the hell WAS going through your head huh?!" He demanded, mind not on the logic of the situation until he met Miki's relaxed stare. He knew it was meant to calm him down, and as much as he didn't want it to work, he could already feel himself trying to gain composure on auto pilot. He tightened his grip, baring his teeth in one last effort and released the dog "ARGH!" He yelled slamming is forearm in the tiled walls, "I fucking let it happen again!"

The lion took deep breaths, furious he had gotten furious, sitting on the floor, back to the wall. Why did he always seem to let it happen? He tried; he really did; but...great, now his god damn eyes were watering. He wiped at them absently, not really sure what to do next.

"You okay?" Miki asked, his face still neutral; like a statue staring him down. Pence felt judged. Miki was just standing there trying to comfort him and on some level he felt judged. It was petty little things but at the moment they disturbed him. He even started getting angry that the dog was standing taller than him.

"Don't patronize me," Pence mumbled, closing his eyes and sitting back against the wall.

"In case it hasn't come to your attention I'm trying to help you," Miki stated, again calm and careful, like he was stating a fact in school and not having an discussion with feelings attached to it.

"I didn't ask for it."

"And that's why I'm helping."

"You aren't helping at all. You're making it worse by distressing Ricky."

"You're not letting me help, and it was an accident. You're not stupid; I know you know it was an accident." The dog let that hang there a moment, wishing he could let the lion think about it, brood, and calm down; but he couldn't, the others were on the way. "Look, we may not have always seen eye to eye, or have even been given the chance too, and I don't know everything about you either so you may have a reason not to, but you have to start letting people in or you'll close up forever."

Pence looked up at the statue of a dog, if only for a moment, trying to figure out a motive. There's no way anyone would try this hard for a sad sack without some form of reward but the lion could not place Miki's. Not only was the dog trying to help, but he was persisting that it happen, he wasn't giving up or letting go even though Ricky was walking farther away as he sat here. If Ricky was the goal he would have went after him.

"We both know I have been through some serious shit and struggled through that depression," Miki went on, scratching his head. "I felt worthless, like scum, I butchered my father for Christ sake. I'm just wondering why you won't TRY and help yourself. I wanted nothing more than to get out of that sadness. That oblivion was suffocating me. I was a fragment of a fragment of my old self and I finally after a long time and serious effort made it out mostly whole again." He stopped; the lion still not meeting his gaze entirely which was pissing him off a bit. He lowered himself to Pence's level and grabbed his cheeks, making him look, "If you bother to try, you can do it okay?"

Pence knocked the dog's arms away from his face and grumbled, he hated when he didn't have a reason to his moping and anger. He just needed a vent or something; anything that would help with the whole excess of anger, and limited social skills to vent them 'gracefully' and without total hell raining down after. He really wished he could blame Miki, but he couldn't.

"What do you say?" Miki asked, "Are you going to man up or just make things worse for yourself?" The Rottie avoided bringing Ricky into it, because regardless of the level on which it was on, Pence liked Ricky, and wasn't at his most stable around him. He held out a paw, and after a moment of staring at it like it was plagued, Pence took it, standing on his own two foot-paws.

"Why are you suddenly so interested in helping me?" The lion asked without venom even to his own surprise. The group had never really opened up to him, and he never really tried to enter if they did, but this was strange. Miki especially had previously ignored him, often just giving the famous one word answers, cold shoulders and harsh tones of a guard dog protecting his territory; it was uncharacteristic to open up.

"You want me to stop?" Miki asked, his statue qualities still not leaving.

"No," Pence responded fast, a bit embarrassed, feeling like a weakling clinging to the strong, and on social levels of every kind apart from awkwardness, that really was the situation. "I'm just wondering, you never really showed any interest in me before...well if we're going to be honest, before-"

"Yeah I know I know, but things change. If being alone and sad for weeks in my depression has taught me anything, it's how awful I made Tohers feel with my cold demeanour. I'm not gunna lie, it pops back up, but I'm trying. I don't want to be alone, and I know no one else REALLY does," he shrugged, "Given the option anyway...I suck with words, umm what I'm trying my best to say is that I want to help cause I've been there."

Pence felt a paw on his shoulder, but didn't brush it off. For some reason it felt okay there. It belonged. Somehow he wasn't alone anymore. He shivered in disgust a moment later. Ricky still was.

Ricky walked fast down the hall. All of a sudden every eye seemed to be watching him, the security monitors he couldn't see were beading in on him, everyone knew he was pathetic, useless, cowardly and childish, and he couldn't break their line of sight. He couldn't get away. Like an animal in a cage.

How could he run from them? His companions; his guides, were all back there doing what they had always done; it was only going to be weird now because he was making it weird. He tried the four facts in his panic, trying not to be a shut in after...well, the best morning he had had in a long long time.

"One: You can't turn back. Stop acting like you chose to do this and can un-chose it." he began in his head.

Two: They didn't want to hurt you..." he paused, restating it with a bit more individuality to get it to mean more, "Pence, Miki, Griffin, Namy, Calper, Desmond, Maxie, and even Klain don't want to hurt you..." He started to panic; these rules didn't apply to the bitch and a half that was the current situation.

"Breathe," he told himself, hoping to God he was going the right way to his room. "Three: There had never been violent retaliation from them on earth, so..." he groaned a frustrated groan, very happy all the watching eyes he thought up in his paranoia didn't have ears. /three sounded the same as the second and he wasn't on Earth anymore so it didn't apply.

The human stopped, replaying his departure from the lockers, pushing past Pence who tried to call him back. Four: Pence cared. Despite it all. Pence did more than simply not want to hurt him. Pence cared. He didn't want to extend the care unto others yet. Namy and Miki were the closest. Probably Calper...

'Breaking it into science felt worse. Scummy. None of them would turn on him but he could sit here and imagine they didn't care? Scum.

"Damn it!" He shouted, throwing his fist into the wall, the metal surface offering no give, the force painful but somehow on the back burner in his mind. He always did this, push people away. He didn't want to anymore. He didn't want to be alone, to feel isolated and it's all he could do. He made good things awkward; even if it was nudity. Even if it wasn't a norm for him it wasn't intended to be anything but swimming. He was quiet, he was blunt, and he had accidentally head-butted Miki when he tried to be casual and freaked out on Pence when he couldn't be...

Miki throwing him off of Maxi appeared in his mind., the nose touches. The first note that the cultural barrier went both ways. But at the moment Miki was holding up his end while Ricky hardly seemed to try. He worried for a moment if that was somehow culturally offensive to ignore the nose touch apology lesson. He felt his stomach twist.

He clenched his other fist, throwing that one outward too, another metallic ring going off. The pain equally out of mind as he continued to switch fists, his eyes watering, making his vision blurry until he finally just shut his eyes. He alternated punches with words, "God!...Fucking!...Dammit!" He let his right arm hang in mid-air, gasping for breath. His mind flashed back to school and how it had been, the reason for his isolation, for his 'friend,' Jerry Petrovanski...

His fists clenched at the thought of that bastard, that ingrate... He offered up one more roar, and one more metallic ringing, stopping finally to calm himself and catch his breath. It had been a while since Ricky even thought of the guy, but now that his weaknesses where actually playing against him and what he wanted, the source of that weakness was hot in his mind. He lightly placed his head on the wall, eyes closed knowing full well that the hallways were truly empty and not a soul would be looking at him, but aware he should not not linger too long.

At long last with his emotions and breathing in check, the pain in his fists registered making him cringe and open his eyes to look. He was honestly quite shocked to see the wall's perfect shine was interrupted by red smears and drips, a glance at his fists showed them to be the same. For some reason Ricky's mind didn't go it 'get this fixed,' but instead went to the disgusting fact that he punched a flat surface with enough force to not cut the skin, but tear it, essentially pinching it so hard between the wall and his knuckle bone that it ripped apart and bled forth. He went to science to shut out the feeling.

"Perfect," he breathed to no one, taking the grey towel from his shoulders and pressing it against the fresh wounds. They weren't too bad, but nothing heals if it keeps bleeding out, he just hoped that Varius had first aid kits in their bathrooms.

*****

Pence and Miki started walking towards Ricky's room after explaining to Griffin for the hundredth time that humans didn't typically swim naked. Not everyone skinny dipped, that that was the reason Ricky was freaking out AND that it was a credible reason for him to be. It probably didn't help their case for Ricky that two of the male human militants in the pool were enjoying the public nudity privileges to the fullest, but at long last they were finally on the way out.

"You can go have fun," Pence tried for the tenth time, "Really, I got this...I can keep him calm." Truth was Pence also wanted some alone time to sort out his thoughts without feeling weird for thinking to himself, instead of talking to his company. It wasn't that it had been a while since he had been in a group. Pence was what Varius referred to as an onlooker; He would see the 'packs' of friends, he would test them out, and he would never stay. It wasn't the same as 'lone wolf' because he dabbled, and it wasn't the same as exile because he was never in one. The idea of Miki inviting him in was...new.

"But I'm sort of the reason he feels weird, so I kind of feel obligated," Miki stated, trying to change the subject, "You think Ricky even knows where to go? It's like, his second day here."

The s idea of Ricky being lost was nerve racking. "Yay, now I have that in my head," he sighed.

Miki hit his shoulder, giving him a sideways glance, "Do you really think anything bad is going to happen? Really? I'm pretty sure that's just paranoia speaking." The Rottie assured, "Besides if anything did happen WHICH IT DIDN'T!" He said with a raised voice for emphasis, making Pence glare at him for yelling in his ears, "We are two pretty big guys, we can handle it okay?"

Pence couldn't exactly disagree, but still..."Really, I get why your helping me, you explained in great detail, but why are you so concerned about Ricky? Him being new and without friends can't really be the reason."

"Cant it?" Miki asked, "Huh, so you're fine with acknowledging that I'm helping you for that reason, but you don't think I can help another for the same reason. That's stupid." He said simply, stopping dead in his tracks, eyes wide and staring at the wall.

Pence turned and froze, his heart somehow jumping into his throat and then stopping dead. There was blood. There was never blood around unless it was fresh; it made the air smell like it was now, like iron and the individual. The air smelled like Ricky. Ricky and iron, the air was thick with it, Pence could taste it on his tongue.

"Be rational." Miki breathed "It's him but I dont smell anyone else." the dog got a closer look "There isn't even that much."

"But why is it there?" Pence asked, already jogging ahead. Screw walking. Waking was for quitters.

****

"Thanks for the help," Ricky said quietly, a bit embarrassed he was in yet another person's house, using their things. His hands were over the bathroom sink the water running down the drain pink with his blood. His hands were sore and swollen, but Klain promised the Varius version of antiseptic was painless, and, "Some Janiper will bring the swelling down and have the wounds closed in an hour tops." Ricky didn't know what Janiper was exactly, but he loved it already.

The dog was rather quiet, at least compared to earlier that morning. He seemed distant now, something bigger was on his mind but Ricky couldn't quite figure out what it could be that would strike in the middle of breakfast. He didn't get a message on his com or get told something. He simply feel distant earlier.

Klain returned to the bathroom with two bottles marked in their language; the main one anyway. Most of the species at the Heart learned their heritage language at home and the universal language in school. First the Dobie unscrewed one and emptied a clear green gel into his paws and taking Ricky's hand carefully, and without saying a word, applied it to the tears in his fists. It tingled, but true to Klain's word there was no pain. Then came the second bottle, he unscrewed the cap and emptied a fine red powder onto the bandages he placed out, applying a bit of water he began wrapping Ricky's hand with the practiced hand of an experienced doctor.

"So what did you do?" Klain spoke finally, making Ricky realize that the Dobie had invited him in for medical care without knowing the actual issue.

The human blushed a bit, "Promise not to laugh?"

The Dobie smiled a slightly toothy smile, "Oh god this ought to be good," he said shrugging, "I won't promise because what if I can't keep it?" he asked. "What kind of Mante would I be if my word meant nothing?"

"Whats a Mante again?" Ricky asked, trying to divert the question but knowing wih Klain'spersonality it would be pointless.

"It's like being an honorable man. Vante is the female version. Nervan are those who fall out of it male or female. No spit it out Ricky, what happened here?" he grinned.

Ricky sighed; Calper had said pretty much the same thing the night before, apparently it was all of them... Varius were so much better people then the majority of mankind. "I uh...I punched a wall." He said quick and quiet, but it was easily picked up by dog ears, which raised with his head, looking into Ricky's eyes with an amused grin.

"Pardon?" he asked, "You punched a WALL until you bled?" He didn't stop wrapping the bandage but he was looking at Ricky now and not his handy work.

"Kinda..." Ricky admitted, "But I don't want to talk about it. It brings up bad memories you know?"

Klain finally stopped, if only for a moment. His eyes looking surprised, like he couldn't believe the Human had problems or something. The moment passed though and he finished the one hand, starting the other.

He knew that Ricky had skeletons in his closet, everyone did, no one was perfect but it was not common to hear of total freak outs, especially from the person themselves. But here Ricky was, announcing that his weakness admitting to a rage fueled...well, self-mutilation. Pence always threatened, but he never went with it, the lion always seemed to find control at the last moment, but Ricky had gone all the way with it.

"Well as long as you're okay." Klain spoke, jealous that Ricky was so open about stuff like that. Klain was a good acquaintance at best and Ricky was sharing that he had freaked out and punched a wall, that he had been ashamed of a serious action. Klain would never share that with anyone who wasn't the doctor.

'Any ordinary person,' he thought to himself.

'It could mean that he thinks of you as more.'

'He would tell an alpha.'

'He would tell HIS alpha.'

"Ow!" Ricky pulled back, holding his bandaged hand. It hadn't been a serious or particularly strong clench on Klain's part, but it had been enough to elicit a reaction of shock.

"S-sorry," Klain offered, "I didn't mean to." He took the hand back slowly, doing some mental exercises to keep the thoughts out again. The last place he needed to imagine Ricky loved him like an... shit it was even hard to think 'alpha' without the word just sounding sexy; was his own cabin, alone for hours, with no one knowing they were there. It was dangerous beyond measure.

"It's okay, I just didn't see it coming," Ricky said simply, trying to find courage to speak, "Umm...so why did you leave in such a rush this morning?"

"Well..." Klain started, "Let's just say I have some health issues and I needed to get home before...bad things happened."

'Don't show weakness.'

'An alpha is perfect.'

'You won't be an alpha if you do that.'

'Tell him he's your bitch.'

'Do it.'

"Bad things?" Ricky asked, getting his second hand back and flexing his fingers beneath the bandages that made him look like he was about to fight and not just returning from one, "Can I ask? Or is this personal?" Ricky cursed himself for trying to meddle into personal affairs, more so because what kind of response was he expecting? He tried to go to the pool with friends and it freaked him out when it got down to details. "Sorry dont answer. Forget I asked that's intrusive."

"No no no it's alright, I uhh," Klain started, picking up the bottles to return them to the closet in the hall. How do you tell someone that if you hadn't walked away you would have been tempted to sexually abuse them because voices in your head told you it was okay? Well, he couldn't think of any. "I just need my pills or..." he shuffled stuff into the closet to give himself a spare moment, "My stomach would have been a mess from the space travel."

The human followed, "Really? I feel fine..." he didn't NOT believe the dog, hell, Ricky didn't have any reason not too, he was just curious, "Have you always been like that?"

Klain smiled, "Since I was a pup." He lied through his teeth. "But not even the others know that." He clarified to cover all his bases, "It's a stupid little thing, makes eating impossible though."

'Some Mante you are...'

****

Pence pressed in the code to Ricky's room as fast as the keys would accept them, only to find it empty. If it were possible his heart would have stopped more, his blood would have run colder.

"Is he there?" Miki called, finally catching up, but knowing the answer based on the silence. "Hey, its okay, we just-"

"It's not okay, stop saying its okay," Pence spat with a quiet venom that demanded silence and was unfortunately denied it.

"We'll find him safe and sound, I promise."

****

Klain left the couch he and Ricky were sitting at, the holoscreen on. Ricky didn't want to talk about details, but it was obvious the human didn't want to leave, "Want some water?"

"Please," Ricky said eyes still on the screen. Some sort of races going on with hover vehicles that seemed like something that would be in Star Wars pod races if Tatooine wasn't a dump and the races had class. Smooth, fast vehicles shot around a very dangerous winding track, it sure as hell beat NASCAR.

Klain poured two glasses in the kitchen, trying to keep the voices down, which was much easier with the drugs in his system.

'He came to you seeking help.'

'He needs help, comfort him.'

'Snuggle, hold him close.'

'Keeps him safe '

"I am Klain, and these are not me," he said under his breath, though despite the silent voices, his crotch was still hot with their suggestions. He messed with his newly uncomfortable pants and then returned to Ricky's side with the glass. "So," he started, already feeling guilty about the impending words, "I told you one thing, care to uhh...share anything with me?"

The human sipped is water, not looking at the dog or offering thanks which honestly kind of bugged Klain a bit. How was Ricky supposed to tell Klain that he thought the dog was lying? That had to be some kind of crazy rude insult right? Just calling those obsessed with honor out on lies?

Klain gulped, ears low on his long head. God the room was so thick with severity. He didn't want the human to leave, but when he did Klain knew he didn't want the mood to be like THIS.

They sat there in silence a bit more, neither sure what to do next. Both of them were swarmed with thoughts, but one of them was about themselves and how they need to deal with issues, and the other was about abusing the first, and then suppressing the thought.

"Well," Ricky started slowly, an embarrassed look on his face, "I should be going then." He offered the Dobie a smile, setting the empty glass down "Thanks for everything." He said truthfully, rubbing the dog's head and behind the ear as he left for the door. "Oh uhh they should be all down at the pool if you dont feel sick. I'm sure they're worried about you. You kind of left in a huff this morning."

Klain shivered at the touch, his eyes closed, not that Ricky noticed either. "Do-do you need to leave so soon?"

"I should, I kind of left the guys hanging at the pool," he sighed, "I over-reacted to..."

"Our lack of swim attire," Klain answered, swallowing. The very thought of Ricky swimming...his wet flesh and the water washing over it... it was intoxicating. He couldn't breathe for a moment.

"Yeah..." Ricky said with a blush, "Now I think I've gone and made it awkward for a long time to come," he breathed out a long sigh, "So I have to fix it now before it gets out of hand and ruins a bunch of shit for me in the future. I don't want to be that strange kid who can't even go for a dip."

"So you are going to..." Klain started, waiting for an answer.

Ricky slid open the door, "These trunks aren't coming off, but...I have to be able to go swimming." It was a bit sad that THAT was his goal for the day, but it was. He had to get over it, or that bastard Jerry won again. "I guess I am headed back to them, so care you join in? Or is your stomach still..."

"I'll grab a towel!" the doberman shot up and ran to his bathroom.

Ricky's receiver went off as they were walking down the hall.

'Pence' Zander Katorei : 'Where did you run off too??'

***

"Can I see it?" Miki asked, lifting Ricky's hand up, paws ready to undo the bandages should the answer be yes. Ricky found his amazement a bit annoying, but went with it, giving a little nod, the bandages coming off as smooth as they went on, "Wow, you really went at it didn't you?" he asked looking at the red knuckles.

"Leave the guy alone," Felix said, hitting the back of Miki's head, "First you strip tease, then you mess with his wounds." He added, giving Ricky a good natured wink.

"Shove off," Miki said, re-winding the bandages, "Go take your fat ass where you're wanted." He threw in, not wanting the idea to frighten off Ricky again. He felt bad enough about the mix up, both times a mesh of culture happened between the two of them Ricky got the shit end of the stick.

The group had finally returned to the pool and their original plan, Calper, Griffin, his girlfriend Shell, a shy looking panther who dwarfed her man in all but ego. Namy, Desmond, and Felix had all been waiting patiently for their return, simply setting up some chairs and not even getting in the water yet. Ricky had blushed a bit when they all looked over at him and Klain walking in, all waiting for him. He didn't like to keep people waiting OR the attention. Pence and Miki walked in not even a minute later and here they were, after Pence freaked the hell out about the blood in the hall, all the friends gathered around some chairs and a table.

All but five were naked. All but two would stay that way. Aside from Ricky, only Shell wore a bathing suit and much to Griffin's dismay she openly admitted to liking the idea because it was a tease. Still, bathing suit or not the Panther was gorgeous, her all tan fur sleek and smooth over her curved features, her breasts perky, the ice blue bikini left just enough to the imagination that the tease was indeed working. Ricky decided for now to mark her, 'fun loving but shy,' she was willing to do a lot, but not on her own; Griffin was the perfect mate, the cat over the top, she would add her two cents to diffuse a stupid idea, or enjoy the good ideas to the max.

"Thanks a ton Ricky, now she thinks a bikini is a good idea," Griffin pouted, chin propped up by his hand, elbow on the table.

"You're just angry you can see my tits," Shell teased, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"EXACTLY!" He burst out, "What weren't you getting?!" he turned to her, taking her paws, "You're the most stunning creature in the universe, don't hide it babe."

Ricky held onto the beach chairs arm rests, fists clenching around the wood hurting his knuckles. He just had to breathe. As long as none of them shoved their crotch in his face he would be fine...it wasn't so bad. He had to admit though as sick as it sounded in retrospect, at least if it was one of the cubs they would resemble animals. When the Dog or bull dwarfed you and stood on two legs it felt off.

"Are we actually going to get in now?" Namy asked, sitting in Desmond's lap, "We've been waiting for EVER!"

"Cause you two ditched us!" Miki exclaimed, "I'm going to put my stuff away and you can just wait." Miki, Pence and Klain walked to the locker rooms, and Calper stood.

"Okay, well ditched or not we have been waiting, I'm getting in," The rest followed suit, Ricky even standing after a bit of self-encouragement and following the bare asses over to the pool. It wasn't so bad; with all the tails it seemed more animal than Miki's stub. Ricky tried desperately to cling to that comfort. In the time of Ricky's absence the 'fun' pool had been abandoned and the water polo nets left up so they all jumped in and swam over to start a game, Griffin shooting off words of warning to Felix who would apparently attempt to drown him or throw him in the course of the match.

Calper sat at the edge a moment as Ricky walked over, the human was about to jump in when Calper took his hand and pulled him down to sit. "Hold on a sec if you don't mind." The human couldn't exactly say 'no' at that point, "I was wondering what's up with the freak out, anything you want to tell me?"

Ricky looked puzzled at him, "About what? I got uncomfortable and left that's all."

Calper continued to stare at him, "You can just tell me or I'll name off some facts that essentially prove something else happened that makes you scared around naked people. Most humans are uncomfortable, but you were scared Ricky, you bolted," he paused, "I've shared my story with you, I just want to help like you did."

Ricky blushed, he had never really had anyone to confide in before, it was a weird feeling just telling people about the worst of you... "I uh...In seventh grade, that's when It started," Ricky began, trying to find the words, "My school was a shithole, had only one gym it was in the attached high school so every day we went to gym we would go there change and play. Well our high school wasn't great either, and the kids were nine times worse. Well in the uhh..." Ricky stopped, looking up at the guys in the pool, wanting to be there with them rather than here spewing this story. The words stuck like glue in his throat, and burned like acid.

Calper put a hoof on his shoulder, "It's okay, just get it out, you don't have to now if you don't want too, I'm not gunna ask you to cry in front of these guys," he tried to laugh.

"No, I want to get it over with," Ricky stated, trying to be calm and cool like a statue. "I wasn't like, molested or anything," he clarified. "I want to say that now." He took a deep breath, "Well after gym we were required to shower off, and my class went in and there was this high-school kid on the floor, blood coming from his mouth, not moving. No one knew what to do, but I had taken CPR class and no one was really doing anything so i rushed over to try and help him. I gave him mouth to mouth and he finally came to, took one look at me and punched me in the face." Calper gave him a funny look, "He told me to get my 'queer man kissing lips away from him,'" Ricky stopped, remembering the look that son of a bitch had given. "And so the word spread, I was a man kissing faggot, my not so serious girlfriend dumped me, my friends avoided me like the plague and worse than that my mom left two days later so someone decided to make up that me and my dad..." Ricky stopped, wiping tears and taking a deep breath, "It's hard to trust people when friends who should be there to the end just leave you and move on, like you were nothing. So I know how you feel Calper." he answered straight faced, putting on a smile when Pence waved him in.

Calper smiled, patting Ricky's thigh, "Thanks for sharing; we won't leave you I swear. If they do I'll kick their ass for yah, okay?" He said with a wink, slipping into the water. Ricky felt two paws on his back and he was then pushed into the cool water. Pence looked half horrified, Miki laughed from the deck, but yelped when Klain gave him the same treatment and he hit the water with an ungraceful splash.