Wild Rose Country - Chapter 17

Story by JonaWolf on SoFurry

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#18 of Wild Rose Country


At the time I had no idea how to explain my recovery from the fever that by all rights should have killed me. I know now what was responsible but in those days I could only explain it as some sort of miracle. One just does not just spontaneously recover from septic shock, especially when there are no modern antibiotics available. Hell, even when there are modern antibiotics available septic shock is still something than can kill you. I knew I should have been fertilizer and the simple fact that I wasn't, that I was walking and talking and almost as good as new, well, to say the least that bugged the crap out of me. I don't like mysteries. I like things that can be explained, I like hard facts and that I couldn't find any really made me wonder just what the hell was going on. I didn't understand what had happened to me in the least and I couldn't help but think that something very strange was going on behind the scenes involving Sharra and I.

It was unnerving to know that something that should have been impossible had happened to me and to not know exactly how and why it was done. Who I owed my life to was another matter entirely and I was just as lost on that point as I was on all the others. I just didn't know what happened as there were just too few coherent memories left to me of the duration of my fever for me to try and piece things together. Nightmares, there were plenty of those and doubtless there were some hallucinations as well and it was very hard to tell them apart from everything else. However, when I fought my way through all of that clutter that lay in hectic disarray in my mind and tried to pick out what was real from what was most assuredly not, there was some weirdness there, for lack of a better word.

There was this feeling, and it's no more than that, that I was somewhere else for an unknown length of time. Sharra assurds me that this wasn't so and I couldn't entirely be sure of anything myself as my recollections of those days are hazy at best. Despite that, I did have a cloudy memory, or hallucination, nightmare or whatever you want to call it, of a place that just felt different and not in a good way either. Those cloudy memories are different from most of the nightmares and fever visions that I experienced. They were more tangible, solid and far more unsettling than most of what I remember. My brain has a sort of dentist's chair association with those particular memories. Whatever or wherever that place was, if I was even there, it was not a happy nor comfortable place and I sincerely hope to never find myself there again.

Something did happen to me during my sickness, that much is undeniable. Perhaps that thing was done to me in that cloudy, indistinct and wrong feeling place or maybe it wasn't. What did happen though has to be one of the strangest things yet on a list of strange occurrences that keeps growing longer and longer with every day that I spend on this damned world. I don't know whether it's a good sign or a very bad one that it took me a while to realize that something had changed.

Finding tattoos on my shoulder that I had no recollection of getting done was a bit of a shock to say the least and it gave the surprise of waking up to find all of my wounds healed and the pain and fever gone a good run for the money. I swore that if I ever found who had put me through all of this weird crap, I was going to do my best to make his or her life as miserable as I could.

When I first regained consciousness, I lay quietly on my back for quite some time. I felt normal but that didn't feel quite right and for the life of me I couldn't remember why. Piecing together the last week was a laborious and mostly unsuccessful act that accomplished little more than giving me a splitting headache. I eventually tired of thinking in circles and hauled myself out of bed to see if I could figure out what was going on. It was then that I caught a glimpse of the marks that had been made on my shoulder. I stopped cold and stared dumbly at my reflection in the mirror for the longest time. There's nothing quite like waking up and finding strange marks on your skin that weren't there the last time you checked. It's like waking up after a bad drunk and finding that your buddies have painted you up with lipstick and autographed your forehead with a permanent jiffy marker. It times like that when one's brain grasps futilely at the cobwebs within and can come up with little more than_what the hell...?_

It took a moment for me to come to my senses and when I finally was able to think clearly again I tried to rub the marks off. When that had no effect I tried washing them away and my panic grew when nothing worked. I even tried scratching them off in a not so bright moment when my worries got the best of me. All that did was let me know I needed to trim my nails. The marks stubbornly remained, if anything they were even darker than they had been earlier. They were there to stay and there was nothing I could do about it.

In my old life there were times I'd thought about getting a tattoo. I'm not exactly sure why I had entertained such an idea. Maybe it was the novelty of the idea, or perhaps some sort of macho illusion about being able to put with the pain of having something permanently marked into my skin. In any case, what I'd ended up with was considerably different than what I'd thought about getting. Also, I'd been told many times by many different people that getting a tattoo was a painful experience but the ones I had been left with never gave me so much of twinge, even right from the beginning.

Many long hours I spent staring at those marks on the pale skin of my shoulder, trying to understand what they meant and why I had been given them. Who had given them to me was another question that burned in my mind but that one I pushed away for awhile. I figured I might as well concentrate on the questions I had at least some chance of answering.

The tattoo highest up on my shoulder is a pair of deer antlers in black ink or something else black for that matter. I can't even be sure that it's ink. The antlers are from a whitetail deer by the looks of them and they are masterfully done. Whoever put them on my shoulder must be one hell of a talented artist. Beneath the antlers is a surprisingly sharp rendition of a stone tipped spear. I can even see the rawhide bindings that hold the point to the shaft. Below that spear and set far enough apart from the others to ensure that it is all alone is a black spiral about two and a half inches across. One surprisingly fine line spins dizzyingly inward to a point. It is a strange thing to stare at, that black spiral, sort of mesmerizing and I have the strangest feeling that I could lose my mind in there if I stared at it too long. Below that spiral is probably the strangest mark of them all. It is the outline of the head of a Tokran. It could be the outline of Sharra's head for all I know but I suspect it is something more generic than that. High on the forehead of that outline and perfectly centered between the pointy ears is a red ring. Why I have a tattoo of some alien's head on my shoulder is a complete mystery and I'm really starting to hate mysteries. All they do is cause me the mother of all headaches which is not a good thing considering this world apparently hasn't invented aspirin yet.

With all of the strange things that had happened to me, I eyed Sharra suspiciously for the first few days after I recovered. She was the only other person for miles around so logically she should have been the one at fault. She actually laughed when I brought up that theory, smiling and saying nothing other than we had been given a great gift. A great gift indeed. I had never thought of confusion as a gift before.

I soon discovered that Sharra had her own questions to sort out, and it seemed that I was not the only one who had experienced something strange. Something had happened to her on the same night that I was healed. She was reluctant to talk about it but I nearly choked when I saw that the exact same spiral hung around her neck on a glittering gold chain as had been burned into my shoulder. Both spirals were even of the exact same size but hers was in gold and mine in black ink. When I stared at her dumbly and noticed for the first time the white ring in the dead center of her forehead. I didn't quite believe what I was seeing, I just couldn't believe it. Why the hell do things always have to get more complicated?

I was speechless for quite a few minutes. Sharra just smiled at me gently, her tail swishing against the grass as she waited for me to find my voice, and then broke out in bright laughter when I couldn't find any words to fit in my open mouth.

Despite the strange circumstances, my wolfy friend was sure in a good mood, happier than I'd ever seen her before. I'd never seen her smile and laugh so much in the short time I'd known her. It was nice to see and her newfound happiness felt good through the link. It was like being wrapped up in warm sunshine and fun, a strange analogy for sure but anything that comes through that link is so damned hard to explain. Suffice it to say it was tough to keep a smile off my face when I had a mental connection to someone who felt so good.

Part of Sharra's new found good mood was no doubt an effect of my miraculous recovery but there was something else about it, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. She was distant and evasive about what had happened to her. Apparently she couldn't quite believe what had happened and needed some time to think things over carefully. It was only after several days had passed that she began to talk openly about some of what she had experienced.

The story I finally did get out of her was unusual to say the least. For Sharra, it had all of the trappings of a religious experience. As such, she was reluctant to share her experiences too deeply with me, meaning that she didn't want to do the link minds thing and show me first hand what she had experienced. One's visions in faith were a private thing, she told me, and not usually something to be intimately shared with others. The message she had received was for her alone and she must interpret it and come to terms with what she had seen on her own.

I was only given the most basic explanation of what Sharra had been through, and what I was told completely blew me away. Apparently our salvation was the result of divine intervention. I was outright skeptical about this. I'm not a religious man and the idea of any sort of higher power has never felt quite right to me. For Sharra, it was a very different story. She'd had a religious epiphany and if anything her faith was stronger now than it had ever been before. Great, I thought to myself as I tried to digest her story, my only friend left in the world had just turned into a religious nutcase. I didn't particularly like that thought and I forced it away quickly before Sharra could clue into the emotions that accompanied it. That's one thing you have to be careful with a link like ours. There are times when it's difficult to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself when you want to.

As Sharra told me her story, I noticed that her voice took on a different tone. It became quiet, awed, and reverential even as she spoke about those who had pulled me back from the very edge of death itself. As her story rolled on, the subtle ebb and flow of our link changed in ways that are difficult to explain. She was holding back, but she at least allowed me a small taste of what she had felt that night. There was disbelief, anguish, fear, wonder, sadness, worry, anticipation, and joy all crammed together into a tight ball that rose from a deeper, and darker layer of old memories that lay buried deep within my friend. From the depths to the heights indeed. What she had experienced had affected my furry friend to her very core and had changed her in a way I couldn't completely pin down. She just felt different in some obscure way as she told her story. There was something bright and good feeling that was darting around just below the surface of her thoughts and feelings as she spoke. I tried to corner it and pin it down but it was always just out of my reach. I got the distinct feeling that it was laughing at me in a good natured way as I tried to chase it down. Sharra felt what I was doing and paused in her story and half turned to me, a smile creeping up her muzzle. She asked me if I was listening or having too much fun playing around. I grinned apologetically and quit poking around in our link. Sharra twitched an ear and chuckled before continuing with her story.

I soon learned that there are three major figures in Tokran religion and mythology. They are The Mother, The Father and The Watcher Above. All three of these figures had a hand in what happened to us if Sharra's version of events can be believed.

As far as I can tell the Mother is some kind of fertility goddess, a healer, a figure involved in relationships and also in the cycle of the seasons. It was this Mother who had healed us and it was also Her that had given Sharra the gift of the golden spiral and the ring of white on her forehead. It was this same Mother goddess that was likely was responsible for the spiral on my shoulder and the strange outline of a Tokran head that lies below it. This Mother of the Tokran had given Sharra a message, an explanation of some past events and some hints of what the future might hold. Annoyingly, Sharra wouldn't tell me anything else about the message she had received. There would be a time for that later, she said, and continued on with her story, a hint of surprise creeping into her voice as she spoke.

The Father is a hunting god, a leader, a warrior and an authoritarian figure of great power. The deer antlers and spear on my shoulder are his mark and I'm told that to bear them is a great honour. That He would mark one such as me, a furless human nearly scent and hearing blind, was very confusing to Sharra. She had yet to understand why I had been given such a great gift, and I was even more clueless than her on that matter.

The Watcher Above is the most powerful of the three deities. In most cases He takes the form of a great eagle and it is He that holds the Power that keeps the world together. His is the power of the sun and the wind, the snow and the rain, and it is He that keeps the stars up in the sky and changes the faces of the moon. He is the creator and the father of all that is divine and I don't have the faintest idea what he could want with me.

All of this talk was making my head spin. Gods? Goddesses? Gifts from the divine? Unlikely to my fact and logic oriented mind, but it was hard to deny the fact that something very strange happened to the two of us. Yet despite that strangeness, things are good. We've both had some serious wounds fixed and I've apparently been brought back from the brink of death as if by the wave of a magic wand. Like I said earlier; weird and very unlikely, but you won't find me complaining about it. This was far better than being dead. My wounds had been healed but the physical scars remained to remind me of the ordeal with the bear. I suspected those will be with me for the rest of my life, as would the mercifully subdued memories of that horrible day that remain locked up in my head. Despite the fact that I had some tattoos on my shoulder that hinted at some other forces at work behind the scenes that were far greater than either Sharra or I, I was feeling better than I had in ages. My body was still a bit weak from the fever but my thoughts were as clear as the crystal waters of the creek that flowed past the cabin. I felt more alive than ever before. Everything is connected to everything else, that's something that Sharra had told me several times before. I truly felt that way now. I understood that I was part of this great wilderness that surrounded me, a small part, but an important part nonetheless.

It felt good.

***********

The week since the vision of the Mother and the Father had been quiet. Sharra was glad for such calm after the insanity of the previous few weeks and she was determined not to let such relative tranquility go to waste. Almost every spare moment she had used to think about what the Mother had told her and this day was no different. It was late morning, somewhere close to midday, and she had been sitting out front of the cabin for some time, enjoying the sights, sounds, and scents of early summer while she thought about the message she had been given. Thinking was the easy part. It was understanding that was giving her some difficulties.

She and John were meant to be together, that much was clear now. In some ways, this knowledge had set her heart free. No longer was she confused and unsure about what she was feeling and why she was feeling it for such a strange one as John. The human had been brought here and left broken and battered in the snow for her to find on that unforgettable day nearly three moons ago. He had been brought here for her. Sharra shook her head slowly and tried to wrap her brain around that bit of knowledge. Looking back now, it was no wonder that a Link had grown between the two of them. A frown grew on Sharra's muzzle and she plucked a stem of grass, twirling it in between her fingers while the wheels churned away between her ears. She sighed and scratched her chin, staring up at the sky. The Gods had strange plans indeed.

The frown on Sharra's muzzle slowly grew into a smile as her thoughts began to wander. She wondered if John was ready for what was coming in the months ahead. She chuckled when she realized that he probably didn't have the slightest clue as to what lay in store for him. The Mother had spoken only to her and while John had been constantly pressing her to answer some of his questions she had been holding back, knowing that he likely wouldn't understand the answers she would give. She didn't like keeping him in the dark and she could feel his disappointment with her for doing so, but she had to understand more of what the Mother had told her before she could ease some of John's curiosity. The grin remained on Sharra's face as she looked out over the valley. She wondered how John was going to react to the knowledge that he had been brought here for her. The Mother was right. There were definitely going to be some interesting times ahead.

Sharra stood up and stretched. It was nice to be able to take things easier for once and not have her mind paralysed with worry. She'd spent most of the morning just sitting out in front of the cabin, letting her senses track the activity in the clearing. Summer was such a wonderful time of year, excepting the heat and of course the annoying bugs. Those things she could do without. Life abounded everywhere and the forest was a wealth of green highlighted here and there with flowers as varied as all of the colours of a rainbow. It was a partly cloudy day, warm but not too warm and there was just enough of a breeze to keep the bugs hunkered down for the most part. Sharra closed her eyes and leaned back into the soft grasses, inhaling deeply of the swirling air currents. There was a hint of rain carried on the summer breeze and the fresh scent relaxed her. She loved this time of year when all was green and alive. So did John apparently. His good mood was easily felt through the Link.

The human had stripped off all of his cloths down to his waist. His bare skin glistened in the sunlight as he worked. His skin had been so pale when he had first arrived here but it had turned a light golden brown as the months grew into early summer. Sharra wondered why exactly that had happened, and she made a mental note to ask John about it when she had the chance. The darker skin was aesthetically pleasing in a strange sort of way and John looked better with it, but Sharra would have preferred a well groomed pelt over bare skin any day. That strange fur on his head and face didn't quite cut it with her, even as thick as it did grow in those places.

The swirling breeze carried a hint of John's scent down to where Sharra sat and she smiled as the odour washed around her. She'd grown to enjoy his strange scent recently, especially whenever he worked as he was now. When his skin began to leak water, his scent took on a few different attributes. It was heavier, saltier, and absolutely jam packed full of male pheromones. She found his unique aroma to be both very enticing and very comforting at such times and that feeling was only growing stronger as the days passed. The Mad Season approached quickly, only a few cycles of the moon away. Again Sharra smiled as she wondered how John would react to what the future held in store. He was male after all, she thought, so there likely wouldn't be any problems. Her smile grew soft and her eyes clouded as she remembered other times and other joys. Her eyes widened momentarily when she felt John's wonder at what she was feeling trickle down through the Link to her. Her ears began to burn and she pushed her feelings away from him, suddenly feeling slightly embarrassed. She took in a deep breath and slowly released it in an attempt to relax and quell the rising sea of emotions that brewed within. Birds chirped and a squirrel chattered in the distance. Insects buzzed in the grass and Sharra stared distractedly out over the valley. Shadows of clouds moved across the clearing and the heat of the sun on her ears and shoulders faded away as the sun went into momentary hiding. Sharra let out a sigh. She'd had enough of thinking for today.

She reached out with her mind and briefly touched John's with a gentle touch. He was happy, his thoughts and feelings well balanced as he worked. She felt his simple joy at working with his hands on a warm summer day and she couldn't help but smile. When John felt her mental touch, he brightened up and she felt the warmth of the mental smile he sent her way. She shook her head and smiled to herself. How lucky she was to have this one Link with her! While he was not Tokran, she'd come to realize that John did have many characteristics that she desired in a male. He was kind and compassionate and she'd come to realize that despite his outward appearance, he had a gentle soul. He was very intelligent, playful at times, and possessed an odd and rather sarcastic sense of humour. Despite his calm and gentle demeanour, he had shown great strength and bravery when it was required of him. He didn't hold a grudge against her for biting him, even though that bite had very nearly ended his life. He worked hard without complaint and dealt with life as it came without agonizing too much over the past or the future, even though there were times when he was homesick for his old life or very worried about what lay ahead. If he had one fault it was his quiet and rather introverted manner. He didn't talk much and was prone to long bouts of introspection. There were even times where he preferred and enjoyed being alone, much to Sharra's confusion.

Physically, well, he was far less appealing. He was somewhat lacking in the pelt department and then there was that total and complete lack of a tail, among other things. Still, she would learn to live with the differences, she had to. The Link that had grown between them was not something that could be undone nor was it something that would ever fade away. A Link between two people, one male and the other female meant only one thing. It said that those two were meant to be together. It was the God's way of making the two become one, binding each to the other with a bond so deep and intimate that nothing except death could unravel it. Even then there were stories that a bonded pair would find their ways back to each other in the next life.

Sharra knew that she had come to care for John a great deal. That he had begun to show that he had similar feelings for her made things just that much sweeter. Their special bond would continue to grow and develop and on one day a few months in the future, there would be physical intimacy to rival that of the mental part of the link, and their relationship would be taken to a new level. Among her own people that day marked the beginnings of a new family. The mated pair would move into their own lodgings and begin a new life. Pups would usually arrive in the spring and the cycle of life would begin anew. A momentary burst of sorrow clouded Sharra's thoughts. She suspected that she and John would never have pups and she quickly pushed the sorrow away. If that was the price of her and John's salvation, so be it. There were far worse things in life to be than without pups. Even so there was a deep ache in Sharra's heart at the knowledge that she would never be a mother.

Such unhappy thoughts distracted her and threatened to bring back other unhappy and older thoughts. She remembered what the Mother had told her, that everything she had gone through had its purpose in the grand scheme of things and she suddenly realized that she was tired of the burden she had carried for the last year. The weight of her past kept dragging her down every time old memories returned and she was growing tired of the nightmares and the despair that lay in wait behind everything that reminded her of that day she would never forget. Perhaps it was finally time to face the past. She felt a wave of fear sweep through her and she did her best to master it quickly. Now was not the time to give into doubt. She drew in a deep breath and held it for a moment. Now was the time to ask John to help her as she had helped him deal with the trauma left in his head from fighting the bear. All of her breath left her in one large exhale and she suddenly felt so tired and old. There was a weight on her shoulders that made it difficult to stand up. She tried her best to ignore it and pushed herself up straight. As soon as she started walking, she began to feel better. The decision had been made and the weight on her mind eased somewhat but she was terribly nervous all the same. It was not going to be easy to deal with the legacy that the past had left her and she hoped John would be strong enough to help her ease the pain that she'd held locked up within her for much too long.

Sharra wandered through the clearing amid clouds of insects that flitted and buzzed around her head. The sun was warm on her ears and her shoulders and she breathed in deeply, seeking to relax as the point of no return approached closer. She almost stopped and let her second thoughts take over but when she saw John working so contentedly in the warmth of the sun and felt that he was relaxed and his soul at ease, she forced all of her doubts aside and willed her feet to keep moving. Her tail began to wag as she approached the one who she'd never thought could become such a big part of her life. John looked up at her and a grin creased his face as she approached.

"Hey you!" He said cheerfully. "What's up?"

Sharra hesitated for the briefest of moments before replying.

"I have been doing some thinking."

John must have heard something in the tone of her voice. His face turned serious and he placed the spear shaft that he had been working on to the side.

"You've been doing that a lot recently." His pale blue eyes searched her face, questioning. She could feel the subtle tang of his curiosity wash over her. Below it, as it always was in recent days, was a warm sensation of caring, of closeness, and Sharra drew some much needed strength from that.

Her eyes downcast, Sharra nodded. "You have been so patient with me. You have asked many questions and it has not been often that I have given you the answers you have wished for." She paused for a moment, struggling to find the right words to put to the storm of feelings that whirled through her mind. She felt John's velvet touch brush over her mind. He was gentle and did not try to force anything out through their link. Sharra raised her eyes to look at the human. Her emotional balance teetered on the edge, overwhelming pressure from behind threatening to push her off the precipice and down into the abyss that lay waiting below.

There was something in John's eyes as he nodded slowly, a hollow, resigned look that quickly disappeared and was replaced by hard determination. He patted the ground beside where he sat. "Better sit down Sharra, I think I know where you're going with this."

The grass was soft and the ground wonderfully cool under her backside as she and John stared silently out into the forest. Neither of them spoke for several moments. Sharra struggled hard with her thoughts and feelings. John was there in the back of her mind, as always, but she could feel him holding back, letting her choose her own pace and find her own strength to deal with what she had to tell him.

Sharra felt the build up of mental pressure and knew that once the wave crested there would be no going back. The pain locked up inside her head would have to be dealt with one way or another and it was not going to be an easy task. As she opened up herself more and more, she sensed John's surprise at the extent of what she had held locked up within her for so long. He clenched his jaw, his lips forming a tight line. Something flickered in his thoughts but he quickly pushed it away. Sharra got the distinct impression that he wasn't exactly comfortable with this situation but she also felt that he would go through with it despite the discomfort. This was going to be a very draining task by the feel of it.

When Sharra finally began to speak, her voice was thick with the effort of trying to control so many strong feelings all at once.

"You have asked me several times why I am out here all alone in this place and where the rest of my people are but up until now, I have never had the strength to answer you even as much as I might have wished to." Sharra's gaze was locked on the ground between her feet. "I am not even sure if I have the strength to deal with this now but I understand now that I must face what has happened and the sooner I do it, the better." She looked up at John and smiled weakly. She took a deep, shuddering breath and held it for a moment before letting it go. It was finally time for her to tell her story.

Sharra began her tale slowly, her words halting as she fought to control her thoughts.

"When the fever took hold of you and you grew sick, I could feel you slipping away from me. I realized that you were going to die and that there was nothing I could do about it." Sharra looked off into the distance and for a moment before continuing to speak in a flat tone of voice. John looked at her evenly, tightly balancing his own feelings against the storm within her.

"One thing you do not realize yet is how deep a Link joins two people together. As time passes the bond becomes incredibly deep, deep to the point where the souls of the two Linkmates begin to merge together."

Sharra took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Now began the difficult part.

"When unexpected or violent death severs the link between a bonded pair, it is a horrible experience for the one left alive. When one dies, part of the other goes with the departed one and can never be recovered. That loss of such an intimate part of one's mind and soul is an agony that nothing else can compare to. The surviving partner can feel the pain of the other's death, can feel their soul being ripped away from their body and their life force grow weaker until it finally winks out. Such things torment the surviving member of the bond for a long, long time. Many never recover from the experience and are left mere shadows of the people they once were." Sharra looked up to John with haunted eyes in an empty face and she saw understanding slowly dawn in his eyes.

"That is why, after you had started your journey down The Twilight Trail, I was going jump from a tall cliff and join you on that dark path. I have already had one Link torn apart and I knew I could not endure that agony again."

John was stunned and it was easy to feel that through the Link. She knew that he had suspicions that she had been hiding something in her past from him, but she got the distinct impression that he had not suspected anything like this. Sympathy flowed out from him and the lines on his face tightened into a frown. The look in his eyes softened and he reached out to her. His arm stopped halfway and Sharra could feel the emotions behind his hesitation. There was uncertainty that clouded his mind and she knew that he was at a loss as to what to do. Sharra needed him and the physical comfort he could provide and she hoped he would understand how badly she actually needed it and overcome the uncertainty. John's arm hovered for a moment longer before he reached out further and drew Sharra close to him. He put his arm around her shoulder and she sagged against him with a deep shuddering sigh. Sharra's gratitude for the physical contact was strong through the link and both she and John drew some much needed strength from that. Sharra was surprised at how good it felt to have John's body against hers and her thoughts brightened a bit at that. Still, there was some small element of discomfort in John's mind that he was trying hard to hide and Sharra wondered why exactly it was there. It had something to do with the close contact with her and her mood took a further dive when she thought about John's reluctance to be physically close to her. Were the differences between them so great that even a Link wasn't enough to bridge that gap? That unsettling thought joined the maelstrom in her head and Sharra felt herself tense up.

For a long moment neither of them moved or said anything. Sharra silently fought with her emotions and John's jaw was set as he looked out over the valley that lay below them. Sharra took a deep breath and slowly began to lower the barriers that she had fought to keep in place for over a year. Dark things moved and shifted and John's eyebrows went straight up and his eyes widened as he realized the magnitude of what Sharra had been through. His grip on her shoulder tightened and he held strong against the pain, a pillar of strength that Sharra so desperately needed. He pulled Sharra tighter against his side and grimaced and Sharra knew that he realized that no words would be able to comfort her. Instead, he opened up to her through the Link and enveloped her in a warm blanket of sympathy and caring. Sharra took great comfort in his warm touch. Perhaps he wasn't as uncomfortable as she thought. She hoped and prayed that that was the case. She needed him more now than ever.

Sharra looked up at John and smiled gratefully through the tears that had formed in her eyes.

"You understand now why I need your help to get through this. I have held this pain within in me for far too long and I am scared of what will happen when I let it out."

She reached out for one of John's hands and gripped it tight, her voice cracking. "I need you to help me as I did for you after the fight with the bear, and I pray to the Watcher Above that we are both strong enough to overcome the pain I bear within."

***********

Our minds joined and we met at the bridge over the stream once more. This time it was far easier for me to find my way through that mental landscape that led up to my end of the bridge. It felt one hundred percent natural and I understood where I was and what was going on around me. The subtle ebb and flow of our connection felt like home to me and I began to realize how much I had changed in the few short months I had been stranded on this world. The old me, the quiet introvert that usually preferred to keep to himself was changing and evolving with each additional day spent Linked to Sharra. Something deep inside me was stirring, beginning its long and slow crawl to wakefulness and I felt a sudden rush of fear course through my veins at what it might grow in to. These new feelings were strange and exciting and as I looked at my companion at the other end of the bridge I wondered what lay down the road for me. I tried to hide my nervousness and attempted to take my first step onto the bridge with a clear mind. Now was definitely not the time for selfish thoughts and concerns. Sharra was struggling under the weight of her burden and desperately need my help. I could feel her plea for help in my mind and it cut right through to my very core.

I could see the difference in her right away as we moved towards each other on the bridge. The last time we had met here, she had been happy, confident, and at ease with herself but this time it was as if a shadow had come over her. She dragged herself towards me as if she were completely exhausted. Her ears were back and her eyes hollow. Her pelt was dull and her tail hung lifelessly behind her. She didn't come to meet me at the center of the bridge but instead sagged against the stone railing not far from her end of the bridge. She didn't move as I made my way over to her and I began to worry about her. I had never seen her like this and the feelings that I could sense from her were nearly overpowering in their unhappiness and despair. I had always known that she had some pain in her recent past but I had never suspected that it ran as deep as that which I was feeling from her now.

Sharra didn't even look up when I moved beside her. Her gaze was down into the swirling waters and I was suddenly at a loss as to what to do. Dealing with other people's problems was never something that I had felt very comfortable with. Strong emotions from others nearly always made me feel uneasy and I usually tried to avoid situations where those kinds of feelings ran rampant. Yet here I was, staring at what was probably going to be one of the most difficult and emotional situations I would ever find myself in. I had a brief moment of uneasiness right then and it froze me in my tracks. A sudden and wild desire to turn around and leave Sharra alone on the bridge gripped me. It was an absurd idea and I fought against it even though I knew deep down that that was the only way to spare myself the awkwardness and the uncertainty that I knew would haunt me if I carried through and helped Sharra deal with the events in her past that continued to torment her. Just as soon as that flash of uncertainty hit me, it was countered by an even more powerful urge to help my friend in her time of distress. After all, she had selflessly given me all the help that she had at her disposal whenever the need arose. The choice was easy to make.

I leaned against the stone railing beside Sharra and stared down into the roiling waters. There was no longer any happiness in this place for either of us. The landscape around us mirrored our thoughts and feelings. The sun was hidden behind thick clouds and the air was cool and wet. A bitter wind stirred the trees on the banks of the river and swirled around us as we stood out on the open bridge. The water below was murky and clouded and sadness seeped into my thoughts while I contemplated what to do next.

I was hesitant to do anything. I had a nagging feeling that dealing with her problems was something that Sharra had to do at her own pace. She may have resented me trying to push her into anything so I decided to just sit back and wait.

Several minutes passed before Sharra stirred. She briefly looked up at me with empty eyes before she turned her gaze away and let out a shuddering sigh. She began to walk towards her end of the bridge and beckoned for me to follow. I moved after her slowly, staying several steps behind. She paused at the intersection of stone bridge and earthy trail and there she paused for a moment and took a deep breath. I moved up beside her and she looked at me briefly before she took a step out onto the trail. The expression on her face at that moment was something I'll never forget. I have never seen a look of such helpless despair on anyone's face before. I can imagine the same look being on a condemned man's face as he is led to the gallows and I was surprised at how much it hurt me to see her like that.

Something weird happened as soon as Sharra left the bridge and had both feet firmly planted on the trail that led into the woods. Things began to change around us. The trees moved and shifted, the trail curled around in a completely different direction and the sky overhead cleared to a perfect shade of blue, the air become hot and dry as the sun flashed into existence above us. I could smell wood smoke on the breeze and the grass became brittle and crunchy underfoot. The trail before us led into a good sized clearing and there was something standing in the center of it that looked vaguely familiar. I took a couple of steps forward to get a better look. At first glance, it looked like a totem pole, one of those elaborately carved logs that the natives on the west coast of North America had made in times past. However this one was different when I got a bit closer. It was shorter and far less elaborate, but the rendition of an eagle that was perched on top was nothing short of incredible. It took several seconds for me to realize that it wasn't actually the real thing. The ground surrounding this pole was packed down and scuffed up, right down to the bare earth and for several paces in each direction. I was mystified as to what purpose this thing served and in my curiosity I drew closer to it. When I got right up next to it, the faint smell of urine reached my nose and some small bit of understanding dawned. This had to be some sort of scent marker that Sharra's people used, maybe even a territorial boundary of some sort. It was the only thing that made sense. Anyone who has ever owned a dog has seen how they mark their territory and it made sense that Sharra's people, even though they were far more than simple dogs, would maintain similar practices. I turned to ask Sharra but the words that were forming in my throat fled when I saw her standing forlornly several steps behind me. There were tears in her eyes and she looked above me, past me, to the eagle perched on the top of the pole. I moved over beside her and she closed her eyes, her choked up voice barely a whisper.

"They are all here. I can scent them all. My family, my friends, everyone I used to know." Sharra shook her had sadly. "They are all long dead but I can still scent their marks on this pole."

As she spoke those words my senses took a sudden turn. I could still smell the urine on and around the pole but the scents slowly became stronger. No, not stronger, deeper. I could make out individual differences and every scent trace there was unique. Some were very old and some seemed so fresh that they could be barely minutes old. There were other scent marks there as well, not urine, but something else that was impossible for me to define. The ground was saturated with them yet I could pick out every individual trace if I concentrated hard enough. The torn up earth was the source of these other marks and I had an image flash bright in my mind as I tried to figure out what they were.

A dog lifts a leg to mark its territory and then vigorously scratches the ground with all four feet. I remembered my old dog doing that whenever I took her out for a walk and it all made sense somehow. There must be some sort of scent marker on their feet and that was what I could smell on the ground. I was stunned at the depth to Sharra's sense of smell, I had never even suspected that it was so powerful. I'd try to tell you more of what it was like but I just can't. Explaining the whole experience is like explaining colour to a blind man. There is a descriptive void between our worlds and the words just don't exist for me to do it.

Sharra opened her eyes and stared past the pole into the woods beyond. I could see vague shapes among the trees there, and some movement as well. I knew that it was Sharra's home back there, her village, her clan, her pack, whatever you wanted to call it. This was the place where she had lived most of her life and the sadness that ran through her at seeing it again was tough for the two of us to take. Sharra walked unsteadily past me, moving past the pole and towards a place in her past that she had tried so hard to forget. I followed a few steps behind her and remained as quiet as I could. Sharra stopped where the trees gave way to open land and I drew up beside her, surveying the scene before my eyes. I lent Sharra all the support that I could. She was having a rough time dealing with this and I could feel the weight of what she was seeing drag her spirits down. I put my arm around her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze. The briefest half smile shone through her sadness and she took a slow step forward into the place where she had once been happy.

The village was a small one, and I guessed that there were maybe fifty of Sharra's people living there all together. I was in awe of the place at first. It was so strange to see a completely different species in a setting like this. In my imagination, Stone Age humans could have easily lived in a nearly identical ways. There were several of Sharra's people out in the open and this memory of hers was so real and so powerful that I kept waiting for them to see the alien stranger standing there staring at them with his mouth hanging open but none of them paid the slightest bit of attention to me. They were all dead and these were just memories and echoes of the people they once were. I felt the sorrow cut right into me then and it was like a sharp knife slicing into my very core.

It was late morning in memory land and the village before us was lit up in a warm yellow light. It must have been late summer or early autumn, as the leaves on the aspens were just beginning to change to yellow and gold from green. It was already quite warm and the clear skies above hinted that it was going to be a hot day indeed. There were racks near at hand upon which strips of meat hung, drying in the heat from the sun and the smouldering fire beneath. I could smell everything! Tantalizing hints of meat drying in the sun, the individual and unique scents of the various inhabitants. There were other odours there too, so many of them that I was at a loss as to even begin trying to figure out what they were. I could hear the gentle burbling of water flowing in the nearby river and could see the sunlight glint off of the rippling water beyond the trees. There were six individuals out passing the time in the morning sun and I watched them with interest, watching these moments of their lives frozen in Sharra's memory. Four of them sat in a rough circle on the bare earth and the murmur of voices reached my ears as they worked and talked. Young adults, I guessed. They sat around making tools and weapons, the occasional burst of laughter interrupting their work as they joked around. I couldn't tell if they were males or females but the four had pelts that varied greatly in their appearances. The other two sat on the ground in front of one of the short, rounded huts that were scattered through the village. These two were obviously enjoying the warm sunshine and I had to smile at them. This pair was a female and a young pup just barely able to walk and there were smiles on the faces of both of them as they played. A wonderful scene of domestic tranquility full of warmth and comfort but I could feel that seeing it hurt Sharra deeply.

The scene playing out before my eyes stopped suddenly and I stared curiously at the people frozen in mid action. I couldn't help but think that someone had just hit the pause button on the DVD player. That really brought home the fact that no matter how real the images I was seeing were they were no more than memories of places far away and people long gone. Sharra stepped unsteadily away from me and moved several steps towards the immobile people in the village. She stood there for a moment, head down, ears back, the picture of total dejection. The emotional turmoil within her grew stronger and for a moment I thought she was going to lose control. I helped her fight against it as much as I could and slowly she gained the upper hand.

"My home." Sharra shook her head slowly. "Gods, do I miss this place." Her voice was steadier now but still subdued.

She turned to me and I could feel the struggle it took for her to meet my eyes.

"This," she gestured to the scene around us, "was the morning of the worst day of my life, and the last day in this world for all that lived here but one." There was an unbelievably deep sadness within in her as she spoke those words. It was like an empty black hole that had devoured everything within her.

I moved to stand beside Sharra and she looked up at me with a flat, empty expression. She was trying so hard to control her feelings and barely holding her own, even with my help.

"Those four over there," she whispered, pointing to the group of young adults with smiling, frozen faces, "were all good friends of mine." She lifted a trembling arm and pointed them out to me

"Daurie, Sorlin, Anair..." there was a pause before she pointed to the last one on the right, a lean male with a silvery grey pelt. "Mallek." Her voice broke when she said his name and old pain suddenly burned bright within her. Through our connection, I suddenly understood that this was the one that Sharra had been Linked to. This one was her first love, her mate, the one that she would have raised a family and spent the rest of her life with if things hadn't gone so horribly wrong. She was silent for a moment and I could feel that she was trying so hard to hold herself together. She missed him still and the pain of his passing was very fresh in her mind. I felt for her, I really did, and I did my best to let her know. I put an arm around her shoulders and lent her what strength I could.

"The female over there with the young pup was my older sister Kirlyn. Sorlin was her mate and the youngster's name was Jelton." Sharra's voice sank to a whisper once again. "Jelton was their first pup and they were so excited to have him." Sharra bowed her head sadly. "He was so young, just over one season. I still miss playing with him. He was such a happy and curious pup and he always made me laugh."

Sharra looked up at me and fresh tears were in her eyes. "I so wanted a pup of my own. Mallek and I had been joined at the spring festival and my Mad Season was coming soon. There would have been a pup for us in the spring but other things interfered."

As Sharra's voice trailed off, the scene before us began to change. A breeze came up and the people in front of us slowly crumbled to dust and were carried away on the wind. The shelters were next, and then the trees and the grass. Our surroundings grew dark and the air turned hot, humid, stifling.

"The summer that year was a very hot one and drought had ravaged the land since mid winter. By late summer, everything was so dry. The grass had started turning brown and the river had shrunk to barely a trickle."

"Even the oldest of our elders had never seen a summer so dry and there were murmurings of unrest through the village. Some thought that the Gods had forsaken us and others thought that we must have done some terrible wrong and that the heat and the drought were the prices being extracted from us. Little did we know that the worst was yet to come. The drought was nothing compared to what came to us late that summer."

I could feel the storm within Sharra tightening, rising. The wave would crest soon, I could feel it approaching and I questioned whether I would be hold my ground and avoid being swept away. I tried my best to hide it from Sharra but I wasn't exactly on solid ground at the time. I was being overwhelmed to the point where I felt that I was barely keeping my head above the water. Truth be told, I wasn't sure how much longer I was going to be able to maintain the amount of emotional control needed to balance against the sheer weight of Sharra's painful past that was headed in my direction like an out of control train.

Sharra either didn't realize the stress that I was under or she chose to ignore it and I felt the tension rise another notch as she continued on with her story. As she spoke in a flat monotone voice, images began to take shape in the darkness around us and once again I saw glimpses of the life she had once led.

"The Elders and the Seers had fasted and prayed for days. Offerings were made and sacrifices endured but nothing worked. Life went on until one hot day barely a week away from the last day of summer."

Sharra was silent for a moment I could feel the battle that raged within her. I pitched in to help her in her struggle, all too aware of my own precarious emotional balance. One thing that I've learned having endured this and other painful memories during my time bound to Sharra is that it is difficult to keep your head when thrust fully into the depths of despair that torment your partner. You do need to maintain some distance in times like that but it's impossible to not be affected by such strong emotional feedback when you're feeling those thoughts as though they were your own. I've learned more control over the years, but here, in my early days as Sharra's Linkmate, I was flying by the seat of my pants, so to speak, and it was a far more gruelling task than I thought it ever would be.

"I had left the village early in the morning. I needed to gather some plants and herbs to refresh my healing supplies. I knew I was going to be gone for most of the day so I packed food and water and headed west through the woods towards a small lake that was two hours travel from the village. I had a particular need for the roots of a plant that grew along the marshy edges of the pond and the dry weather had made them much easier to get at."

"The first half of the day was uneventful. It was a clear day, too hot for late summer and I had to take a slow pace to keep from getting overheated. The water level in the lake was quite low when I arrived there and I spent a good part of the afternoon digging the roots I needed."

"I took a break in order to eat and have a much needed drink of water. The day was growing late by then and when I finished my meal I remember scanning my surroundings, wondering how much longer I should work. Something to the southwest caught me eye as I idly wondered how much longer I should work. I could see clouds in the distance, great towering thunderheads with anvils that stretched groping fingers into the blue. Rain was on the way and I felt a thrill of joy at that thought. The last rain had fallen three weeks before and even then it had been barely more than a smattering of droplets on the hard earth."

I remained silent and let Sharra continue on. This story was coming out and there was no stopping it. The only thing to do was hope that we had the strength to endure it. I stared at the roiling thunderheads visible across the lake and clenched my teeth.

"For a while, I thought about returning to the village. I had no desire to be caught out in the forest in a thunderstorm. However, I was young and foolish. In order to save myself another trip out to the lake the next day, I decided to stay and try to collect the last few plants that I needed. I thought that I had enough time before the storm arrived. I have never been more wrong in my life."

Sharra's head bowed and her ears went limp. She stared at her feet for a long time before she found the strength to look up at me. She was crying. The tears had left fresh streaks in the soft greyish white fur on her cheeks. The hurt that she felt went right to my very core and I felt my lower lip tremble. I nearly joined her in tears right then. It took all of my strength to keep my composure.

Sharra's words were barely whispers when she found her voice again.

"With that decision, I became the only one of my village that was to live on past that night. Had I left earlier, I would have joined them in their fate. There have been many times over the last year where I have wished that I had left earlier. The pain would have been short lived instead of lingering for years and I would have had the company of my friends and relatives. We all would have walked the Twilight Trail together."

A deep shuddering breath and a long and drawn out exhale and Sharra continued her tale.

"The storm came up far quicker than I thought it would. The air became hot and thick, the humidity stifling. When the anvil of the storm cloud blotted out the sun it became unbelievably dark. The air was so still and quiet that I thought I must be imagining things. I could hear the subliminal mutter of distant thunder and the clouds took on an eerie greenish tint as they approached. I had seen storms before, but none like this. I began to get worried. I had nearly everything I needed but the storm was approaching so fast. I did not know what to do."

The woods around us darkened and the forest became eerily silent as Sharra spoke. I didn't like the feelings that accompanied the advance of the storm.

"The wind came up suddenly and I have never seen anything like that before. I could the see and hear the front racing across the tops of the trees and across the pond towards me and I stared at it curiously. I was nearly knocked off my feet when it hit me. I was stunned for a moment but I quickly gathered up my things and headed back towards the village. I let Mallek know that I was on my way home and he was worried too, I could feel it through our Link. I told him that I would be all right and left it at that. I would see him soon enough. Little did I know that I would never see him alive again."

A long pause after those last words. I glanced at the lake and the forest around us. The wind had whipped the water into a froth of whitecaps and the trees swayed crazily back and forth. Strange to see such violence when not a breath of wind touched my skin.

"The lightning began soon after the wind hit. It was close, striking all around me. The noise was deafening and hail began to fall. Soon I was running, nearly in a panic as the storm closed in all sides. As I fled towards home, I could feel Mallek's worry grow soon becoming outright fear, and then full blown panic. I had never felt him lose control like that and it stopped me in my tracks as the hail snapped and cracked through the trees and the lightning flickered all around."

Sharra's voice cracked and she leaned heavily against me. Her tears were flowing freely now and I felt my control slipping. I clenched my jaw and stared straight ahead, hoping that I would be able to hold together for just a little bit longer.

"I knew that Mallek was in fear of his life. Strange and unsettling things came through our link. I could sense smoke, and stifling heat. Mallek was having a hard time breathing. I got the distinct sense that he was running, fleeing from something."

"He cried desperately for help but there was nothing I could do. I tried to help him calm down but he was too scared. His was the fear of one who knows that his end was staring him in the face and there was nothing he could do to avoid it."

"I did not understand what was going on, it all happened so fast. I tried reaching out to him and all of a sudden he just started screaming." Sharra shook her head and sniffled. "The agony that accompanied that scream is not something I will ever forget and I suddenly understood what he had been so afraid of."

"I learned later that a lightning bolt had struck upwind of the village before the rain had started. The tinder dry grass and shrubs on the forest floor had erupted into flame and the wind soon fanned the flames into a raging firestorm. It roared through my village, engulfing everyone and everything in its path. No one could outrun it and believe me, they tried."

"I ran as fast as I could, trying desperately to get back home and help but I was so far away. It took hours for me to get home and by then there was nothing left."

"Mallek was overtaken by the flames barely a stone's throw from the river. He was trying vainly to get there in the hopes that he could escape the flames that raced down upon him. I could feel the flames scorch the fur off of his body and his torment flowed through our link and right into me. It was the most horrific and terrible thing I have ever experienced and I screamed and howled in rage and despair as my mate was burned alive. The agony seemed to go on forever until the light, that bright and warm twinkle that had been in the back of my mind for over a year, suddenly winked out. Even the darkest, most horrible nightmares seem bright and happy when compared to the feelings that went through me at that moment."

Our surroundings suddenly disappeared and everything went dark. I could still see Sharra standing beside me and I could feel solid ground beneath my feet but there was nothing around us, just empty blackness. Sharra paused to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"I never thought I would make it this far." She said as she looked up at me and a weak smile appeared briefly on her muzzle. "If not for you and the strength you have given me, I would have broken down long ago." The smile disappeared and she grew silent. I wondered if she knew that I was hanging on by barely a thread. I didn't know how much more I could stand without becoming a tearful wreck and I really didn't want her to see that.

Be strong, I told myself, be a man. Hide those emotions, bury them deep, don't embarrass yourself by bawling like a baby in front of Sharra. It was a tough task. I mean, Sharra's mate had been burned alive and she'd experienced his death in a way that nobody should ever have to. It doesn't get any more traumatic than that and I felt for her, I really did, and I couldn't help it. She and I were bound in the same way as she had been with Mallek and all at once I truly understood what she had tried to tell me earlier.

One thing you do not realize yet is how deep a Link joins two people together. As time passes the bond becomes incredibly deep, deep to the point where the souls of the two linkmates begin to merge together.

The two became one. Losing half of that pairing was like losing half of yourself. No wonder Sharra was so broken up. I could see how some people would never recover from an experience like that. I pulled my friend close to me and hugged her tight. She cried into my chest and I felt the first of my own tears well up in my eyes. So much for not making a fool of myself.

Slowly the darkness around us drew back and an image formed in it its place. The smell of smoke was overpowering and everything as far as the eye could see had been ravaged by the fire. Some trees still stood, desolate and blackened skeletons silhouetted against a blue sky but the majority of the forest had been reduced to charred stumps. Wisps of smoke still rose from a few isolated hot spots. The destruction was nothing short of staggering. I knew I was looking at the site where Sharra's village had once stood but there was nothing left except charred remnants... And the occasional corpse.

I took me a moment to realize exactly what they were. Sharra kept her head buried in my chest and I couldn't blame her for not wanting to look. She'd probably seen this very image hundreds of times over in her nightmares. It wasn't a pretty sight and I had to fight hard to keep from being overwhelmed.

Tokran look so different without their thick fur coats, that was the first thing that sprang into my mind. There was one unfortunate soul only a few paces away. Blackened skin met my eyes, the cooked flesh below showing pink through cracks in the charred skin. This poor bastard's arms were curled up to the sky and frozen as if trying to embrace salvation from the flames. Its muzzle gaped wide open, frozen in mid scream, teeth startlingly white against charred skin. I wanted to turn away from this horrid image but some strange morbid fascination kept my eyes glued to the corpse. A shudder ran down my spine as the echoes of the death screams I heard through Sharra rang in my mind. Such a terrible way to die...

Through all of this death and destruction, something still moved and my heart jumped suddenly.

Sharra lurched through the broken village like a lost soul. She was a wreck, her eyes were empty and her pelt was soaked and streaked with soot. Her ears were back and her tail hung limply behind her. Fresh tears marred the fur on her cheeks as she picked her way through the wreckage. An eerie wail rose up as she encountered the first of the corpses. I could barely watch as she searched gingerly for signs of life and recoiled with a soft cry when there were none to be found.

I watched helplessly as she ran to and fro, checking every corpse she came across, my heart sinking with every one that had passed into the next world and left her all alone. She was looking for someone, hoping beyond hope that that one person had been spared even though she knew better. Sharra came to a halt a stone's throw from the river and there she found the one she had sought so desperately.

How she recognized her mate, I still do not know but the sound of anguish that tore through the air told me that her search was at an end. Mallek lay face down on the bank of the river, so close to sanctuary yet so far away. Sharra approached cautiously, her face an indescribable mask of grief. She knelt down beside the corpse and gently rolled it over. She jumped back a step when she saw the look on the face of the one that had shared his life with her. I could see her hands shake and soft whimpers escaped her throat as she stood rooted to the spot. Eventually she snapped out of her daze and knelt down with unsteady legs beside the charred body of her mate. She reached out to his muzzle with a tender caress and froze as soon as her fingers made contact. She drew her hand back and stared in horror at the flakes of charred skin that clung to her fingers. Her wide eyed stare moved from her fingers to the empty husk that lay before her and something inside of her snapped at that moment. I felt it rush through me and winced at its passage. Sharra jumped to her feet and an inarticulate scream escaped from her as she began running. Her feet wove an erratic path through the remains of the village as she sought to escape the horror behind her. Her muzzle gaped open and incoherent sobs and whimpers rang out through the broken village as she fled what had once been a place of happiness.

The images slowly faded away and Sharra and I were alone once more in an empty grey void. Sharra still had her head buried in my chest and I hugged her tight, trying desperately to keep control of myself. My lower lip began to tremble and I knew I had lost the battle. There was no way I could have held my ground. Trying to stop that storm of emotions would have been like trying to hold back a waterfall with my bare hands.

As the first of the tears rolled down my cheeks, I began to hear something. It came from all around us and the sound found its way into every crack, every crevice, and every sense. It was soft at first but it grew in intensity until it became all that I knew. It was Sharra, I knew it right away. She was singing a song of mourning for those that she had lost. I've never before or since heard anything so sad and moving, yet hauntingly beautiful at the same time. All at once I knew what it was like to lose friends and family, a loving partner and even the very reasons to live. I hugged Sharra tighter and the tears began in earnest. I released the emotions I had been trying so hard to control. They flowed out from me like a rushing river and I wept for her and for everything she had lost, I wept for the years of lonely isolation that she had endured, and I cried for the memories and nightmares that had haunted her for so long. All of the pain that Sharra had kept locked up inside her flowed straight into me as she sobbed into my chest. I hugged her tight and soon a strange thing began to happen. With every tear that trickled down my cheek, the hurt lessened, the pain faded and our surroundings grew a bit brighter. Long moments passed but eventually Sharra's tears began to slow. With one last sniffle, she pried herself loose from my embrace and looked up at me. I smiled weakly through the tears at her, acutely embarrassed to be caught in such a state and I began to wonder just how exactly my masculinity was going to deal with this little episode down the road.

Old habits die hard. I've never been a very emotional type, surviving twenty-seven years as a rather typical example of a human male had seen to that. I've always kept my feelings buried deep and showed a strong face to the world like I was taught a man was supposed to do. I felt more than a bit of a fool for the display I had just put on but when I saw the look of heartfelt gratitude on Sharra's face and felt her warm touch in my head things suddenly didn't seem so bad. I had given her a shoulder to cry on and helped her out in a time of distress. If the price for that was some momentary discomfort on my part, it was well worth it.

Sharra used a gentle caress to push the last of the sorrow from my mind. It went slowly, reluctantly, resisting right until the very last push. I was still uncertain and very uncomfortable about what had just happened, and I think Sharra sensed some of that. Her thoughts were full of warmth, compassion and tenderness and there was a strange bright spark there that I hadn't noticed before. It was a tantalizing glitter of things that felt happy and good but there was something deeper to it, something that I couldn't pin down and it began to have the strangest effect on me. A sudden tingle ran through my body and for some reason I couldn't keep the smile off my face. The last few moments of despair seemed worlds away. All I wanted to do was hold Sharra tight and keep that bright spark dancing in my head. I felt giddy, and if anything the stupid grin on my face got wider and dumber. Sharra pulled back arms length from me, ears up, eyes bright, and grinned in return. Her tail wagged furiously and I had to chuckle at that. Man, did I ever feel weird. It was a good kind of weird though, a head in the clouds type of thing, and as the outside world slowly grew into existence around us I wondered just what the hell was happening to me. There was something else between Sharra and I now, I could feel it gaining strength in the back of my mind. While it was a good sensation, it still worried me. I had a suspicion of what was happening between the two of us but I could hardly believe it was happening. Part of me even wanted to believe that it wasn't happening, that it couldn't be happening.

Sharra was right about one thing. I did not understand how strong and deep a Link would become between two people. I was even in the dark as to what exactly a Link like ours meant, even though I had some suspicions. I had an epiphany when I recalled something that Sharra had said earlier and I felt my eyebrows shoot straight up.

A bonded pair...

Oh boy...

There was some seriously uncharted territory ahead for me, a place on the map where the lines and borders trailed into uncertainty and there was a big notice on the side of the trail that warned new explorers that 'here be dragons' on one hand yet on the other gave promises of great riches lurking somewhere in that unexplored wilderness. Sharra had been through that territory once before and had survived and I knew that I would need her help as a guide through those places where I had never ventured before.

Understandably, I was a bit worried about what the future had in store. Once again the road that was my life had taken a sudden and somewhat unexpected turn. I suspected that this was a better turn than some of the earlier ones but only time would tell and time was something we had no shortage of.