To Serve Gods: Chapter 2- Duties of the Butler

Story by Grub on SoFurry

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#2 of To Serve Gods

Felix Cheshire


Felix was up and about early the next day. Freshly groomed and changed into a clean outfit. One did not wear hats indoors unless they were completely devoid of social graces, so Felix did not sport his top hat. Felix had walked down the stairs, to find a big burly badger tightening the hinges on a door that was previously blown off last night. Felix couldn't believe his eyes. It was impossible to tell that the doors were reduced to flaming char just hours prior. "Amazing..." he said wide-eyed.

The badger got to his feet, dusting off his grey jumpsuit. "Thanks." he said, replacing his screwdriver, wiping his hands on the legs of his suit, and then turning to Felix. "Say, you're a new face."

"Just started today." Felix said with a smile. "Felix Chesire, at your service. I am the new butler." he said, presenting his white-gloved hand to shake. "Hal." the badgers said, completely engulfing the catboy's hand with his own. "I'm the handyman around here."

"You do good work, sir." Felix said, gazing again at the door in disbelief. "Thank you, kindly, Felix." Hal said before turning away and gathering up his toolbox. "Word of advice I give all the new guys around here: don't go up into the attic at night. Avoid going into the basement at all. And last but not least: relax."

Felix's ears perked curiously at the last item on Hal's list. "Beg pardon?"

"Relax, kid." the badger said again. "This place can get pretty crazy at times. The best thing you can do, is not sweat it. Whatever happens, try to take it in stride." Felix gave a thoughtful nod at the advice.

"Well, that's my soapbox." said Hal. "I'm off. Plenty of shit to fix around this place." the badger said as he walked off.

"Thank you." Felix said as he made his way to the kitchen. Inside the kitchen was a tall, lanky white cat was boiling a few eggs while cooking pancakes. "Hello." Felix said as he entered.

"Whatcha want?" said the white cat without looking up.

"Oh, umm. I'm Felix. The new butler." the black cat said. "Oh," said the white one. "Jales. A pleasure, I'm the cook. Breakfast?"

Felix's stomach growled in answer of the question for him. "Oh, yes, please." he said.

"What'll it be?" answered Jales.

"Beg pardon?" Felix asked, eliciting a sigh from Jales. "Look, we don't do regular meal times because the people here don't keep any sort of normal sleep schedule. So meals aren't really 'served' as they are just prepared on a case-by-base basis. I know it's not what you're used to, but here people request whatever they want, and we do our best to serve it to them." Felix nodded in understanding. "I see." he said. "So if you're having breakfast," the white cat continued, "What do you want?"

Felix thought for a second, the smells of the cooking food enticing him. Felix didn't want to be a detriment to Jales' work, so he opted for the same food the white cat was already preparing. "Toast and boiled eggs sound good, if you will. I think I can pour my own drink," said the black-haired catboy as he moved to the fridge. Jales nodded, "Allrighty." The white cat moved gracefully around the kitchen to put three eggs to boil and drop some bread in the toaster. Jales then returned to his pancakes before they burned, removing them from the pan before they turned darker than golden brown. "JALES!" came a voice Felix did not recognize. "WHAT!?" Jales answered in kind.

"Steak and eggs!"

"...Are you fucking KIDDING me!?" Jales answered exasperatedly. "How about a nice plate of FUCK YOU?"

"If I wanted any of your mouth I'd put you on your knees and feed you MY t-bone! Now make with the steak and eggs! RARE! And if you overcook it, I'll beat your ass until you're the consistency of a proper steak just to remind you not to char my goddamn meat!"

Felix's ears pressed flat against his head as he witnessed the vulgar exchange, hearing Jales at full volume was quite a fright. He gave a slight "Eep!" of surprise as Jales wheeled around, grabbed a butcher knife, and poked his torso out of the door to flail the blade around angrily. "T-bone? You barely got beef tips, motherfucker! Now come on over here so I can show you how filleting works!"

"Ha! Get on with it, you lunatic." the voice came again with a booming laugh. Jales came back into the room, stabbing the knife into the cutting board. It stood there, quivering in the wood as Jales walked away. "Fucker." he said as he opened the door to the walk-in freezer, and disappeared inside. "Steak for breakfast. Steak for lunch. Steak for dinner. Steak steak steak, every goddamned time. For once would it hurt to ask for a fucking bowl of oatmeal? I'mma knife him. I'm going to knife him. I swear to Paradisio, I will fucking knife him..."

Jales continued to mutter to himself angrily as he reappeared with a cut of meat skewered on a two-pronged fork. He irritatedly threw the meat into a pan and started searing the meat. Felix watched his breakfast eggs start to overboil, and shifted his weight nervously. He moved to remove the pot from the burner, but was quickly cut off by Jales' quick grab and pour. His eggs cascaded into a strainer, steam rising from them as the white shells rested on the bottom of the mesh strainer. "There ya go, kitty." Jales said, his voice a lot calmer now that he was addressing the small catboy. Felix gave half a bow to the other cat, "Thank you kindly, Mister Jales." Felix grabbed a plate to put his eggs and toast on, then retreated to a spare corner of the kitchen to eat, the catboy not even bothering to sit down.

Jales continued to prepare the request for steak and eggs, not even noticing that Felix had not left the room. It was when Jales turned around to throw cracked eggshells in the garbage that he noticed Felix standing in the corner. One hand held his plate level in front of him, the other hand deftly peeling back the egg shell. Felix was currently working on the second one."...Not that I'm not impressed," Jales said, impressed that the catboy struck a poised image even when he was standing in the corner eating an egg one-handed. "...But are you really going to just stand there and eat? We have tables, you know?"

The black-haired cat slowly chewed and swallowed his bite of egg. "Those are for the guests." Felix said simply.

"You're shitting me, right?" Jales asked. Felix shook his head. "I wouldn't want to be improper."

"Kid. Go outside and eat at the table."

"But there are guests out there. I wouldn't want to be overly familiar." Felix answered in between bites as he picked up his third egg. He was a fast eater.

Jales merely slapped his forehead into the palm of his hand. "Newbies... ugh." he said exasperatedly. "Kid, go outside, sit at the table, and enjoy your breakfast like a god damned person. Hiding in the corner like that is weirder than just going out there and sitting down. I promise you, no one gives a shit. You might be the butler, but if you haven't noticed, this place ain't normal. It's nothing like those other places you're used to. Trust me, I was in your shoes once." Jales turned back to his eggs and meat.

"That won't be necessary." Felix said simply, "I've already finished." The catboy took his plate to the sink, and dropped it in the soap water. "Good day, Mister Jales."

"Ugh." came the white cat's reply.

Felix wandered back by the common room, noticing no new faces save for a muscular lion that seemed to be the owner of the voice that had previously antagonized Jales. After Felix's breakfast, he set about his chores. He dusted and cleaned in the empty rooms as to avoid the strange guests of Redrose. Indeed, the day was quiet. His chores were easily accomplished, given that there were few distractions. Felix kept his ears out for any explosions or such, but the Manor was quiet given the enigmatic nature of the place. Felix breathed a sigh of relief as he finished dusting the curios in the second floor hallway.

The sound of voices greeted his ears as he made his way to the common room. The male fox, the female lizard, Sally the red-haired fox, and the raccoon were all lounging around the common room. Felix decided to step into the room, back straight and head held high. "Esteemed guests of the house, I trust the afternoon finds you well. If there is anything I can do for you, please do not hesitate to speak up." Felix said with a bow to the lounging outsiders.

Sally the red-haired fox girl sat up from the couch. "Yeah, I got something you can do for me, kitty-cat. Come over here and rub my feet." Felix's ears twitched hard at the request. He was at a loss for words. Zera had said that his duties were to make the guests as comfortable as possible, but surely the seraph didn't mean that he was to do such a base thing. Massage the demon fox's feet? That can't possibly be right. Felix waited for a laugh, for the punctuation of an apparent joke, but there was no rescue in the faces of the other guests. They all looked at him expectantly, as if waiting to see if he were about to kneel down in front of the fox, and rub her feet.

"I hear the new guy in here?" came a voice that Felix was thankful to break the silence. The raccoon poked his head into the common room, "Yeah, I was looking for Jales for about an hour. I've got a sudden craving for cherry pie." Felix jumped at the chance to remove himself from the common room, bowing to the boisterous raccoon, "I will do my best to find him, good sir." Felix left the room hurriedly.

Felix checked the first, most obvious place. The kitchen. When Jales could not be located there, Felix started wandering around the mansion, looking for the other cat. Before long, it was apparent the Felix would have to report back to the raccoon and tell him that Jales could not be located, which the catboy was afraid would prompt the return of the foot massage request. No. He needed to waste time, and people wanted pie. He would make it himself. "Fresh cherries." he said to himself as he made his way out of a side door. There was a garden around back, Felix resolved to see if there was a cherry tree. The best pies were always made with the freshest ingredients. Perhaps if the pie were good enough, they wouldn't feel the need to revisit the foot massage issue.

Felix made his way to the manse gardens, and was taken aback. He wandered along rows and rows of vegetables, fruits, and even some exotic ingredients Felix had never seen home-grown outside of India. There were plants and trees and bushes from all climes of the world, plants that should be theoretically impossible to grow in the same garden, let alone side by side. Felix milled around in wonder, the cherries momentarily forgotten as he admired the work.

"Can I help you?" came a voice. Felix turned around to find himself face to face with a middle-aged male mini-lop rabbit in a green, earth-stained gardener's outfit. The rabbit looked at him with interest. Felix gave a reflexive bow. "Oh, my apologies, good sir. You see, I am Felix Cheshire, the new butler. It seems that our Chef has taken a temporary leave, and there are requests for cherry pie. I'm out here to, well, procure some cherries. The best pies are made with the freshest ingredients, you know."

The rabbit gave a laugh, "Hah! Too true, my friend, too true. Well, I'm James, the Gardener." he said with an outstretched hand. Felix shook James' hand, noting the brown dirt that James' earthy gloves rubbed onto his own pristine white ones. "Cherries are this way." James said as he walked away. Felix followed in turn. "You have a very lovely garden, Mister James." he said.

"Just James will do you fine, little cat." the rabbit said as he made his way to the cherry trees. "Besides, with the way this place is, it's pretty easy to grow everything. Not to mention it feels like cheating when you're friends with Demeter." Felix's ears twitched. "D-Demeter, James?"

"No, just Demeter. Never heard of her? Figured you for the booky type. Demeter's the Greek God of the Harvest. You make friends with her, you can plant a rock in the ground and it'll grow into a boulder."

"I'm sorry, James, are you telling me you are friends with the actual Demeter?" Felix said in disbelief, his ears pressing flat onto his head.

"No, I'm friends with the fake one." The rabbit said before scoffing. "Yes the actual one."

Felix gave a sigh. It seemed that Felix would not be escaping the insanity of Redrose today. "I would love to meet her, then." Felix said plainly, at a loss for anything else to say. He looked up to the plump, juicy-looking cherries hanging from the tree they arrived to, giving Felix more to say. "If she is who aided you in producing such wonderful cherries."

"Yep, that's definitely part her, part this place, and part yours truly." the rabbit said with a laugh. "Go ahead, take as many as you need." Felix nodded, moving to the cherry trees. Standing only at five feet, two inches, the catboy had trouble picking all but the lowest cherries, prompting James to step in. "Here, let me help you with that." laughed the rabbit as he soon had Felix laden with the best looking cherries of the tree.

"Thank you, James." Felix said, his arms laden with too many cherries to even try to bow.

"Not a problem, little cat. Just save me a slice of that pie for later." Felix smiled and nodded, "Of course, James."

Felix went back into the house through the side door, eager to avoid any more guests. He managed to make his way to the kitchen without event, and was soon deep into making a cherry pie. Felix worked fast. Having had to work fast and learn quickly during quite a few crises where Prima Donna chefs had quit last minute over some perceived slight, Felix was no slouch in the kitchen. He was soon sporting dusts of flour as he rolled out a scratch-made pie crust into a pan and started filling it with the fresh cherries, sugar, butter, and almond extract. Felix wiped the flour off of his suit after sliding the pie into the oven, and soon the house was permeated with the scent of freshly baking cherry pie.

Soon Felix overheard the guests starting to talk. "That smells wonderful." they said, and the topic immediately turned to pies. The smell only got stronger once Felix removed the pie from the oven, and soon the conversation turned from 'The best kinds of pie' to 'When the hell is that pie going to be out here?' By the time the pie was ready to be served, the sun was dipping toward the lower side of the window.

Felix was placing the pie on a tray when he suddenly ran back to the freezer to fetch a tub of vanilla ice cream. He placed the pie, the ice cream, plates, forks, and serving utensils on a tray, and hefted the tray to his shoulder. With his back straight and his chest held high, Felix strode out into the common room right as a yell came out, "Jales! The FUCK is taking so long with that pie!?"

There was a bit of a shock to the guests when it was Felix who appeared with the tray of pie and ice cream as opposed to the white cat. "Where's Jales, kid?"

"Mister Jales could not be located at this time. I have taken the liberty of preparing sir's pie." Felix answered calmly. "You did this yourself?" came a familiar voice as Zera entered the room. Felix nodded, "Yes, Sire."

Murmurs of appreciation and a mild applause greeted the small catboy as he walked the tray over to one of the large tables in the common room. "Now THAT is what I'm talkin' about!" cried the raccoon as he leaned over to smell the aroma of the pastry.

"This is very good." said Zera as he sat down in the biggest chair and dug into his pie and ice cream.

"Best fucking pie. Ever!"

"Oh my god, it's so good..."

"Good job, kid. This is great!"

Felix smiled at the praise, doing his best to hold in his excitement and seem humble. "Your words are kind, esteemed guests. If there is anything else I could do." the catboy said, bowing a final time before he left to conclude his affairs for the day.

"Actually, there is." came the voice of Sally. There was a pair of thuds that echoed in the common room as Sally the red-haired foxgirl reclined backwards, placing her boots to rest on the table. "I'm still waiting for that foot massage."

Felix once again looked around for rescue, but as before, there was none apparent. Everyone looked at him expectantly, and Felix's heart started beating faster. His ears stood on end as everyone seemed to stare at him with different expressions. Sally grinned deviously, swaying her foot back and forth on its heel as if to entice him. The other guests looked at him as if wondering if he really was going to do it, or biting back laughter. The only one not looking at him was Zera, who continued to eat his pie and ice cream. Felix turned to the silver wolf.

"S-Sire?"

"Yes?" Zera said without looking up from his pie.

"Was that part of my duties?"

"Hmm?"

Felix blushed. "Do my duties include massages on request?"

"Hmm..." Zera hummed, still eating his pie. He looked up thoughtfully and chewed slowly, each passing silent moment was another turn on the rack for Felix's tortured anxieties. "Do you want to?" Zera asked finally, though not the answer Felix was looking for. "S-Sire?"

"Do you want to rub her feet?"

Felix had not expected any answer like that, and just stood there dumbfounded. Was this another test? "S-Sire. I will do anything required of me. If my duties include servicing the honored guests, I will do so willingly."

"That is not what I asked." Zera answered, making Felix's ears twitch in anticipation. "It's a simple question, and a simpler answer. If you want to rub her feet, do it. If you don't want to rub her feet, then don't. Do you want to rub her feet?"

Felix turned even redder. "I want to do my job, Sire. I want to be an asset to this estate. If my duties include servicing the guests in such a manner, I will not object. But if you ask me if the prospect of rubbing a stranger's feet is appealing to me, then I will have to say that the answer is very little, Sire."

"Then you don't have to." Zera said plainly before returning his full attention to the pie.

There was a collective, disappointed groan from the guests. The male fox gave a laugh before saying, "Sorry, Sal."

The demoness fox merely giggled, waving her hand dismissively. "Hey, he said strangers." She turned to give Felix a mischievous grin. "I just have to get to know him better." Felix ignored the fox girl, bowed at Zera, and said, "By your leave, Sire." before hurrying off. Sally called out after him, "Hey! Could you try shaking your ass a bit more when you leave like that?" Felix left earshot to the sound of laughter.

The butler made his way to the opposite end of the hall, where he stopped to calm himself. He refused to get riled up at the guest's games. He made his way out the side of the door, and walked down the path. He found his tree in the dark, and ducked behind it. He withdrew his case, and sparked up a cigarette. "This place..." he said exasperatedly as the nicotine started to reach his brain, allowing him to relax.

Felix stayed outside a long while, having finished all but one of his chores. He went through all three of his cigarettes, replacing the discarded filter in the case to be thrown away later. The sun had set fully, and darkness was creeping in. Felix took a final deep breath, and then headed back inside to the Manor. The house was completely devoid of voices when Felix entered the front door. He looked to the common room, which had been left abandoned by the guests. The tray of pie and melting ice cream still stood, and Felix moved to gather up the plates. He placed all the dirty dishes back onto the tray, but a slight movement caught his eye. He looked up, and saw no one in the room. He moved to the room's edge to ensure that the movement wasn't cause by a stray dust bunny. He inspected the floor before his vision came to the white marble block. His gaze moved upward until he was staring into the face of the white marble mannequin of the Lady in Black sculpture. "Oh..." he said as he realized he was a few steps from knocking into her arm.

He looked up into the sculpted eyes of the statue, rather mannequin-like. They seemed to stare down at him, but her face was smiling warmly. "I didn't mean to..." Felix said, then his ears pressed flat against his head as he seemed to realize he was talking to the mannequin. The catboy suddenly felt a very eerie feeling, like he was being watched. He hastily moved away from the statue, finished placing the dirty dishes on the tray. It was when he hefted the tray to his shoulder to carry it properly, did he hear a faint noise. The sound of a woman giggling. "Who's there?" Felix said as he turned to look around the room, but there was no one in sight. Turning back to the marble statue woman, he shook his head. "Must be seeing things." he said in an attempt to convince himself, and then carried the tray to the kitchen.

One Felix returned from washing the dishes, Zera seemed to appear into the room as the silver wolf entered from the opposite door.

"So how was your first day?"

Felix took an intake of breath. "It was... eventful, Sire."

"Was it?"

"But not bad, I would say."

"Good. Anything to report?"

"Report, Sire?" asked Felix.

"If you've seen anything out of the ordinary."

"Well.." Felix answered. It seemed everything was out of the ordinary.

"Out of the ordinary for this place." Zera corrected, sensing Felix's thoughts.

"No sire... Well, there was one thing."

"Oh?" Zera asked.

"Yes, Sire. When I came back in from my break... I, I thought I had seen the statue move."

"...Statue?" Zera asked, his voice falling a bit.

"Yes, Sire. I seemed to see movement when I was cleaning up the tray."

"A trick of the light, Felix. You do know fire casts dancing shadows, right?"

Felix was not convinced, but he nodded anyway. "As you say, Sire."

Felix figured he might have been tired, his eyes certainly could be playing tricks on him. "I shall retire for the night, then Sire." he said with a bow. "Good night, sire."

"Good night... and you can stop bowing at everything." Zera said. Felix almost bowed in acknowledgment, but caught himself and merely nodded. "As you say, Sire."

Zera nodded in turn, and Felix headed off to his room. Once inside, he slipped out of his butler outfit with a sigh. "Foot massages..." Felix said to himself as he sprawled backwards onto his bed. It was as comfortable as yesterday. It seems Redrose Manor had both its advantages, and its disadvantages. Felix closed his eyes, and slipped off to sleep.