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The truth is, I have a fatalistic view toward relationships. Between my own upbringing and the wisdom of the Decadent One, I have come to the conclusion that those seeking permanence in their connections to others are fools seeking heartbreak. The greatest loves have died due to simple misunderstandings, drift of personalities, or even simple need. Fire-forged friendships shattered for the want of love, dearly held beliefs, or just the cooling of passion.

If I were foolish, I would scorn the companionship and care of others and devote myself entirely to the satiation of my own pleasures and the execution of my will and desire. I could easily let myself slip into life of decadence, seeking only my pleasure and taking it whence I can. To the uninitiated, this is what I should do as I have dedicated body, mind and soul to the spreading of lust.

This is not my Goddess' wisdom. As all relationships are impermanent, the Decadent One teaches that one must enjoy them to the fullest extent ones' existence will permit. A fool scorns what is not permanent, a lustful one savors it for as long as they possibly can. The lustful one delights in the experience for as long as it remains and then lets go without rancor, allowing it to drift into the fond memories one retains of a life well lived. Some relationships are brief and simple as a one-night stand, some last for decades of mutual respect and affection, but Her wisdom directs us to cherish each and every one.

To wit, I love Bunnyta and Asi dearly. I love them like I love Hideaki and Kio, Talynn and Kaipo, Corrin and Tonkala, and so many more. The degree of love and affection are often different, but it is there. And yet, I retain no expectation that they will remain with me a week, a year, or a decade from this moment. I will sorely miss their leaving, but I cannot change the fact that something will cause them to depart from my life.

Needless to say, this outlook does not depress me: while the only stable thing I have is my person (and even that shall fade with the simple passage of time), I am not truly alone. Others will come and connect with me. Some will be brief, barely forgotten save for a story for me to tell. Precious few others will leave their mark upon me until the day I join my Goddess.

This shall be different from the previous stories I have told, as I shall not likely speak of my sexual experiences. Instead, I will speak of other parts of my life. Hey, I DID say that I have shit other than fucking to do, did I not?

---

It was a beautiful summer afternoon, and I was spending some free time on the stairs of the abbey of which I am a part. I had little to do at that time (most of my brothers and sisters are at work preparing this day's feast, and I am at best only a passable chef. Plus, I managed to talk my way into some time off) besides waiting for a few friends of mine. Bunnyta and Asi, of course, but I would be expecting Hideaki (the artist I spoke of in my first story), along with a couple others.

In fact, one of them had already arrived. Kioko is, put simply, a cabbitgirl. Much of her body is a mix of human and lapine. Her ears are lapine, and her legs and feet are capable of some truly impressive leaps and kicks. Her tail is feline, and she has many of the mannerisms of a cat. She normally does not have any fur (beyond her ears and tail) unless the weather is cold. In personality she is very sweet, but it is good to keep in mind that she is somewhat animalistic and childish. She is very intelligent, but she is more instinct driven and literal-minded than most. When she is hungry, she eats. When she is tired, she sleeps. When she goes into heat, she will do anything to put out her next litter. Physically, she is about 16 years old, and about as athletic as her legs imply, a product of an active life residing in the nearby forest.

In any case, both Kioko and I were having a wonderful time working on a jigsaw puzzle (she is illiterate, but extremely good at jigsaw puzzles, so she was doing most of the work) when I heard someone approach and loudly ask, "So, how much for her?"

I peered up from the puzzle, looking at the rather large man standing at the foot of the stairs to the abbey. One of my pet peeves is the assumption that Her servants are prostitutes of some sort. We are not. We do provide assistance to prostitutes, and there are quite a few of Her worshippers who are prostitutes, but Her clergy is not. In fact, Her clergy is generally discouraged in engaging in prostitution. Our temples are really good places to pick up a quick lay, yes, but the joke truly gets old before your first year of service is complete. I do like being called a whore by those I love, but from strangers it is either someone being an asshole and/or a bad comedian. Usually, it is "and".

Naturally, this got my hackles up, so I glared at the uncouth twit and said in my best 'go the fuck away' tone of voice. "I'm not for sale. Brothel's down the street." That usually convinces the average asshole to take the hint and leave us alone. This was not the average asshole. He ignored me and flicked his hand toward a friend of mine, whom I was assisting in the construction of the puzzle: Kioko. "Not you, how much for her?" Great. He liked them young.

Kioko lives in a burrow in the woods, and does not understand many concepts many of us take for granted. Two examples: money, and the fact that she was being propositioned for sex.

Thus she looked up at the John, not even realizing the tone of voice I was using with him, and gave him an absolutely adorable smile when she said, "All of it for me. Apples and carrots and celery and blackberries and roses." She is a strict vegetarian, and she apparently thought he was the deliveryman from the market to drop off a new shipment of fruits and vegetables that Kioko loves so much. Kioko is small, but I have seen her pack away a truly impressive amount of food, and she often needs a gentle reminder that there are others who would like to enjoy what she is eating, too.

I could not help myself. I buried my face in my hands, trying to keep my giggle quiet. As far as I was concerned, that was the most perfect response she could have given. I peeked through my fingers, and saw that the John was as confused as I as amused. Well, at least for a moment: he recollected himself and gave her a smile he no doubt thought was disarming (it was not, it was lecherous and a little creepy), and approached her to ruffle her ears. "Sure, I'll get you some apples and carrots, if you come with me," he said, clearly trying to be smooth.

Alright, that was cause for alarm. I love Kioko dearly, and I was NOT about to let a waste of a perfectly good egg take advantage of my friend. "Kioko, please stay," I whispered softly, before looking up at him and growling, "This is a abbey, there are no prostitutes here. Please leave."

I need not have worried. Kioko is simple, yes, but most emphatically not stupid. For a moment, she perked up at the mention of food to eat (poor girl really was hungry), but then she saw his face. Her ears started to lower, making her concern apparent, and his touch did nothing to reassure you. Her smile started to vanish, and she glanced at me before whispering, "No. Kioko stays. Is not how Kioko likes," before pointedly returning to her puzzle.

To his credit, the John quickly realized he blew any chances with Kioko. He backed away a bit, raising his hands in an innocent manner, saying "Alright, alright, don't worry, I'm good, just wanted to show you a good time, that's all!" He finally got the hint and started to leave, waiting until he thought he was out of earshot to mutter "Whores these days" in a voice practically dripping with contempt.

As I mentioned before, Her clergy are not prostitutes. We do charge from those who stay at the abbey, but there is always someone who needs to be reminded that this is for the BED. If you want one of us to join you in that bed, you had better pique our interest first! But the constant references to being prostitutes (or, usually, the less kind terms for prostitute) is wearying, and it just set me off. "This is a fucking ABBEY, not a brothel. I am a fucking PRIESTESS, not a whore. Even if this were a brothel, she has no part of it. And if she did, I'd sure as hell not sell to YOU. For fucks sake, take the hint and LEAVE," I was raging at this point, sick of having to deal with jackasses who barge in when I am doing shit with my friends.

Well, he was not going to take that lightly, it seemed, as he immediately whipped around and snarled, "Like I give a fuck what a whore thinks." This was followed immediately by "HOLY SHIT!" as Kioko reared up and hissed loudly at him, swiping a hand at him. She was too far away to scratch of course, and she had no claws (she keeps her fingernails trimmed and sharp should she need them, though), but the display was sudden and sharp enough to throw the John off and rattle him a little bit. Later, she would tell me that she was scared and wanted to run, but she did not want to leave me alone with him, which really was very sweet.

Not that I knew it at the time. Instead, I got a rather cruel idea. I can be a bitch, should I feel the need, and I most certainly felt the need to do so. I moved my hand to stroke Kioko's ears as I purred, in the most malicious tone I could muster, "Here's a fun fact for you. Kioko is capable of jumping well over ten feet straight up into the air. Naturally, this means she can deliver some truly nasty kicks." The John was starting to back away a little, so I continued, "You know what happened to the last guy who pushed her? Poor dude was bigger than you and she still snapped his neck like a twig. One of the most disturbing sounds I've ever heard."

I could see the panic in his eyes as he imagined my story playing out (with him as target, naturally) and he started to stammer, trying to make some display of bravado as he backed away faster. I ignored him and just went on, purring, "Now, even if someone is a giant prick, that is truly a horrific injury and nobody deserves it, so I healed him up just fine. He almost made a complete recovery... Almost because, well, he never could walk straight afterward." I grinned up at him, displaying my teeth. The John was starting to sweat, when I finished, "I think it was the multiple skull fractures he suffered, really, although the fact that I cut off his testicles for pissing ME off might have helped a tiny bit."

So much for his bluster. He stopped, freezing in his tracks. I could just smell the sheer panic that was gripping him, so it was time for the coup de grace. I turned to Kioko, leaned in close to her ear, and "whispered" loudly enough so he could hear me perfectly. "Kio, love? KILL." And THAT sent him tearing off down the street, his resolve broken.

I did, however, mention Kioko takes things much more literally than others would. While my intention was to terrify the piss out of the John, Kioko did not necessarily know this, although I thought she did. I leaned in to give her a reassuring squeeze, about a half-second before she leapt into the air. Since I was not expecting her to actually leap after the John, I was too close and wound up tumbling down the stairs, completely demolishing the jigsaw puzzle in the process.

I started cursing myself for my own stupidity, and the sound made the John look back for a brief moment, long enough for him to realize that Kioko was coming for him. He screamed like a little girl and promptly wet himself, which would have amused me more if I had not realized I had inadvertently sent Kioko on a collision course with his body. She had told me about the time that she had defended her kittens from an eagle: the unfortunate creature met Kioko in transit and landed bereft of its' wings. As she was preparing a picture-perfect spinning kick, Kioko was going to do something extremely nasty to the John's chest.

I spat out the dirt I was eating, and shouted, "Kioko, get back here!" just as she was coming down. Fortunately for the John, she heard me and started to twist in the air, letting her land on all fours JUST behind him. The John finally made it around a corner, practically sobbing from his brush with death, and Kioko simply walked back to the abbey, casually licking the back of her hand in a that feline "I meant to do that" gesture, although her ears betrayed her worry.

Once she got close, I pulled her into my lap, squeezing her as apologized to her, "I'm sorry, hon, I didn't mean for you to go after him, I just wanted you to scare him off." The poor girl was already curling up into a ball in my lap: while she lives in the forest and has to contend with truly feral animals, she honestly dislikes hurting others, and ESPECIALLY does not like killing others. To be honest, I did too (well, unless you WANT me to hurt you!), and my Goddess is most adamantly opposed to killing. The denial of life is, after all, the denial of lust, and NO death honors Her. It is one thing to kill to survive, but taking pleasure from the murder of other beings is a twofold sin: denying another their pleasure, and placing your pleasure above another's wellbeing.

Kioko was still whimpering, caught deep within her fight/flight instinct (although much less fighting now), murmuring, "S-sorry... Thought Atrele knew something Kioko didn't... Like the time in the forest..." The poor girl was thinking about the eagle again. I gave her another squeeze to reassure her, as she whispered, "Please no for to joke about makes kills when no really needs. Kioko no likes hurt things. Atrele talked all mean, about hurting. Thought meant it. Scared Kioko." She was REALLY stressed, as her grammar was becoming more fractured than normal, and she started to groom herself.

I just smiled apologetically to her: I really did screw up, but at least I could help her understand in case of another time. "It's okay, I wasn't joking, I just wanted to make you all scary so he would run away and we wouldn't have to hurt him, and you did really good. I didn't mean to scare you, and I'm sorry." I kissed her between the ears, nuzzling her hair before murmuring, "Should get Kioko a treat for being so scary."

She was still shivery and skittish, but the thought of the treat calmed her down a little bit, and she peered up at me, saying softly, "Kioko better get the good juice." There is a particular brand of spicy vegetable juice that Kioko absolutely adores. Naturally, I kept some in the pantry (although I would not drink it myself) as while Kioko could keep some in her burrow, there is really not a lot of room for her to store much.

I kissed her ear, before letting her off of my lap. "As much as you like, Kio, love. Let's go, dinner's almost ready."