Texting
#6 of Short Stories
I hope I wrote it well; I've never really tried to write in first person. Here's a short story about a person texting with his crush.
Perhaps I'm a bit of a stalker... to my defense I would say many of my girl and girly friends do it more or less to their 'crush'. There are so many people out there that say they are in 'love' and would do anything for their 'crush'; all the usual and stereotypical stuff but all they do most of the time is to check if he's or she's in shape, has the connections and 'right friends', all the things that needs to be "perfect". I don't care if he's not so intelligent or not the most beautiful person in the world or is "perfect"... what a terrible word.
I want to know what he does... not all the time but much of it just to keep in track if his fine or not. Not that I can't really do anything about it when his sick or ill or overall not fine because we are just acquaintances, nothing more... unfortunately but that's not the point. I want to know if he's fine or not fine because I want to be informed about him. It matters... to me... because he's important to me. I agree that he hasn't really showed interest into me yet but I can still dream about it if I keep it realistic enough so I don't lose the real reality about our relationship.
As I checked his profile on the social media for second time today I didn't really see anything had changed since the last time I checked... I guess no news is good news. We had wrote to each other few times about the home works and projects we were given from school and in all of the occasions I wanted to ask him about several things; what he liked of several stuffs, what he was doing, what he was going to do... the list went on. The reason was still not clear to me for why but love is full with mysteries and unanswered questions... I just wanted to know even though I never asked these questions for him.
"Bling!"
A new message... who's texting to me...
It's him! Why is he writing to me? As I held my phone in front of me and read his name several times to be sure it's him I wondered why he wanted to text me at this time of the night... maybe... no it can't be... don't be a fool.
"Can you help me with the Greenlandic grammars?"
Grammars? Oh yeah, that's right! We got a minor project about the Greenlandic grammar. Not that I'm the best but I could write and spell Greenlandic without really trying... heh... I am the best in my class so no wonder he texted me. Sigh. But I couldn't resist to not helping him for I wanted to help him in anyway, anytime and anywhere, as long he just asked me. I texted back slowly with a little smile to express my indulgence:
"Sure! What's the problem?"
I waited with warming tension and as I held the phone in my hand I couldn't wait for the response from him and kept looking back at the phone as I lied on the bed, turning. But it is a bit sad... he had only texted me for help, nothing else really. Now focus! What matters was that I was going to help him.
To support your crush is a way to express yourself to him even if it is not an exposing and clear way to show your affection when you two aren't close yet.
I buried my desire to write what I wanted to write to him and tried to be rational as possible.
"Bling!"
"It's about what you shall write in the endings of the word when you want to describe if it is big or small"
My smile got a bit wider and my heart felt calm and heated; sure if he asked me to finish his project I would do it without afterthought. Jeez... sometimes I couldn't believe what I was thinking when it was about him; that I got so indulgent when I thought about him. It may sound a bit cliché but if he asked me to do something, even if it something I don't wanted to do, I would probably do it. I don't care if I didn't get rewarded properly compared to my doing, as long he's happy about it then it's enough even if the doing was something I wasn't so happy about.
"It depends what you want to describe as big or small for there are several endings that it's written for a word, Joey"
I couldn't resist it... to write his name. I guess love made his name beautiful to me that I wanted to write it... sometimes I caught myself saying his name for no particularly reason. It didn't do anything special at all; I just wanted to write or say it. Whenever I heard the name I came to think of him no matter what content the name was used to. I would sometimes write it on paper at school or at home where it hopefully won't be read by him. As I couldn't find rest at just lying on the bed, turning, I stood up and walked restlessly.
"Bling!"
"It's about ice, siku. Which ending describe the ice as big?"
I somehow felt worthy for him: That I could help him in his problems but I also wanted to tease a little with him, thus I wrote a question to him, a question that was about what kind of endings there were (and there were a lot of different endings to different words). As I walked in my room aimlessly I decided to walk out of the balcony door, carrying the phone gently in my hand. I laid the phone on the table in the balcony, briefly felt reluctant about doing it but let it go and went to the edge of the balcony and placed my hands on the white marble fence. The heat was tepid because it was spring but I still found it nice and comfortable. I looked up at the sky and saw that it was nearly clear of clouds where there were few spots smaller clouds covered. The stars sparked and shined through the night along with the full moon.
"Bling!"
"Come on, Oliver, don't be so crypticJ!"
My smile turned into a teasing grin and gave simple little laughter after I went to the table, picked up the phone and read the message. Even if it was only for school work I enjoyed helping him; it warmed my heart and sometimes it gave a little beat race to it. Now I felt that my cheeks got heated up and for some reasons I can't explain I wanted him to touch them so he could feel my feelings for him.
"Just name few of them so I know you understand a little of itJ"
I looked up at the star filled sky again and searched for a shooting star so I could make my secret love wish... maybe it would be granted, who knows. I also wished that he also watched the skies, watched the stars, the full moon. That we saw something beautiful together even that we weren't together. There were so many things that I wished for: One of the things I really wanted to do when Joey sat beside me is to lay my head gently on his shoulder and speak to him with soft and caring voice. To feel his hand caress and strike my cheek and if he were to do it I would close my eyes of overwhelming happiness and express my gratitude for him. To give him a loving hug while inhaling a little of his beautiful scent through my nose and feel him, feel his existence. My thoughts got briefly interrupted by:
"Bling"
"There's; -orsuaq, -angikulooq, -angisooq J"
"I want to write that I love you, Joey" I thought as I read the short message. I fumbled with my fingers; they wanted to write my wish "At least, he knows some of the endings". There were some things that I was better at than my crush Joey. I didn't want to feel superior in any of them but I couldn't deny that Joey was lesser good at some of the school classes but because of my love towards him I consciously and sometimes unconsciously overlooked the mistakes he had.
I believe when I come into a mutual relationship and when I eventually come to face my partner's flaws I'll try to make the best out of it instead of saying that these are the ones that differ from us; that'll just tear a relationship apart in the end.
"Good going, Joey! Now tell me what you think that fitsJ" I wrote on the phone just to be more cryptic, to tease him because it felt so delightful and wonderful. Of course I didn't send the message right away, as the former messages, so I didn't appear so clingy or whatever they called it. I wanted him to know that I had a crush on him but at the same time I wanted to hide it from him, in fear of him rejecting me... love it's quite ambivalent, I must say. I made another smile when I thought that and sent the message.
At that time I had an urge to write the following:
"It's a beautiful full moon, right Joey?"
I actually wrote it and as I stood there and watched the sentence I had an inner conflict of sending it or not sending it. I wanted to follow my heart, which I did, but I had a little fear of how he would react to this question. I glanced at the area around my home and unrealistically hoped that he would be there. "Silly me" I thought, went inside and sat on the bet, left the balcony door open. I touched my one shoulder, arm and chest where he had touched either on purpose or by accident, tried to re-imagining the experiences the times he touched me. I remembered that my heart began to race each time he did and when he looked away I dared to look at him in hope he would discover this and look back but every time he was about to I looked away.
"Bling!"
"It is beautiful, Oliver. About the first question: ehm... maybe angisooq?"
I couldn't believe what I just read... He answered my random question so honestly? As the wind breezed inside my room I felt that I could get carried away by it since I felt as light as feather, so happy that nothing could bring my down. My urge to write something similar got stronger and as I tried to restrain my feelings I found myself defeated by my love for him. Now I wanted to feel his touch on my skin but I didn't write that. I answered his question and added something more:
"You silly, it's -orsuaq so the word is sikorsuaq. Have you seen a shooting star yet, Joey?"
I couldn't describe the joy and nervousness I had when I sent the message. Now I was tossing and turning on the bed again, waited for the response. I had been in love with him since the start of the school and I had told few friends about my feelings for him but none could give some advice that I could use so through all the time I had been on my own with my feelings for him and this was the first time that our communication turned out to be like this.
"Bling!"
"I'm not silly, you are. And yes, I have seen a shooting star just now. Why, Oliver?"
I was so happy and glad that I shed an innocent tear. I had a hard time controlling my feelings even though I wanted to let them flow freely and express their intention through me and I let them did it: I let down all my hindrances and obstacles toward expressing myself to him so I wrote:
"Because I want you to wish for me, Joey"
To my surprise the response happened fast this time:
"Bling!"
"What shall I wish for you, Oliver?"
I immediately replied with:
"That we should be together, Joey"
And to my greatest happiness of my life he shortly replied with:
"I shall, Oliver, my love"
And this was not a dream.