FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

*sighs* I shouldn't be laying down like this. I say to myself as I lay down in my bed/couch. My ear twitches as I hear the sound of the wind coming from the window. It's a cold winter's night out and I'm here sleeping in the living room. There's not enough rooms in the house so I opted to take the living room as a type of room. I don't mind since I treat it as an actual room, but would be nice to sleep on a bed.

Sighing again I get up and stretch a little. My tall, slender body gets a chill from the lower temps that were outside my blanket walls. A few bits of my blue and white fur stand on end from the chill and my tail curls up a bit. But since I'm a husky, it doesn't bother me as much. Ya know, thick fur and all. I go and walk very quietly to the kitchen to get something to drink. As usual, nothing to my interest and water is over rated in my opinion. I leave back to the living room and I go check my phone. Its 12:46am. I set the phone down and I look out the window. Snow is falling at a quiet and slow pace, almost seems surreal. There's already a generous amount on the ground as well as a nice layer on everything else.

'Hmmm...I Know I shouldn't do this but it's better than laying down and doing nothing' I think to myself. 'I just hope he's awake' as I said this in my head I go and grab my thick winter coat and my snow boots that are near the living room door. Another perk of taking the living room as my room, I get to sneak out without anybody being the wiser. I grab my cell and keys and go out the door, closing it quietly I open up the second door and go outside. I'm greeted with the real chill of the air and my warm body gets zapped off its heat as I shiver a little and try my best to get used to it.

"God its cold" I say to myself and I start walking down the porch. I look around the neighborhood and set my target at the house a half a block over. I start walking towards my friend's bastions house, hoping he's awake...or not. He doesn't mind me waking him up in the middle of the night, sure he gets mad at me but after I bribe him with my famous tacos he forgets that he's mad. I love to cook and he's always my Guinea pig when trying out new recipes, maybe that's how we are friends. I met him when I first went to high school as a freshman and he was just a sophomore. We first clicked by loving the same video game during a discussion at a club we were both in, favorite food and how we both love winter....even though he loves the hot chocolate part and I love the weather part. Sure were almost complete opposites but as they say "opposites attract" maybe someday I'll really confess to him how I really feel, but not today. As I near the house my phone vibrates.

"Huh? Who's texting this late?" I say as I reach the curb of the street across from my house. I grab my phone and see the time is 12:55am, I unlock my cell and see who it's from.

"Speak of the devil" I say, looking at my phone its Bastion. My friend that I'm heading to visit.

'I know ur on your way, I can see u from my window. Ur not the only one tired XD....I'm heading down to meet you' it said.

I was about to reply before I saw a shadow come across me and the screen of my phone. I quickly look up only to see a huge guy that's just a few inches taller than me loom over my head. I get startled from the sudden appearance but as my eyes adjust I see the figure smile and I smile back, realizing who it is.

"You cheeky bastard, you planned this? Didn't you? And the fact that you timed it so well." I give my friend a playful punch on the arm as he giggles.

"Well I saw you outside, walking very slowly I might add so I thought, why not surprise him a little." Bastion said to me.

I study him more closely. I see him wearing a very long and very thick black fur winter coat which I find a tad pointless since he is a tiger. His brown striped, yellow fur sticks out somewhat from his head as he's wearing a knitted hat, I see his tail poking out slightly from the coat and I see it curved up, normal sneakers that look like their falling apart, but what caught my attention was a book bag over his shoulder.

"What's with the book bag? School isn't for another week and a half." I joked around.

"Just trust me ok? Come on lets go to the park. I want to show you something." he said as he led the way to the park. Always the adventure enthusiast I think to myself as we went in a steady jog across the block.

It wasn't as far as you think, we actually live really close to it, just a simple block away. We cross the street towards the park which was deserted and wasn't as covered in snow due to the cars. We start treading the big snow hills and make our way to across a few more smaller streets, a bridge over a frozen river and up a small but steep hill and I realize where were going.

"Wait why are we here at the botanical garden?" I say as we reach the now snow covered area. Not a single plant could be seen, everything was flat and all covered in a sheet of white.

"Well come on now, there's a bench here that never gets covered in snow." Bastion said, adjusting his book bag. Then out of the blue he grabs my paw and starts pulling me through the untouched snow towards the bench.

"Whoa there dude, slow down!" I say as I trudge along against my will. As he said there's a bench out in the open, overlooking the whole barren garden and somehow, in the most perplexing way, there was no snow on it at all. Using my eyes I survey the little area and I see a small grate underneath it.

'Must keep the bench warm enough so the snow melts' I say to myself.

"You say something?" My friend asked as we reached the bench. He was the first to plop down and pats the spot next to it for me to sit down.

"Uh...well I wanna know...what's in the bag?" I said thinking about how not to tell him about the grate.

As if on cue he opens it and pulls out a small thick quilt that was all rolled up. He unravels it to make a large thermos appear. He wraps the quilt around himself and opens his left arm and invites me in. I blushed under my fur and I get close to him. He grabs me impatiently and gets the quilt over me as well. It seemed small but big enough to cover us both fully. He opens the thermos and pours out a hot liquid into the cap/cup.

"Hot chocolate? I know it's your favorite." he hands me the cup as I smile and accept it with a thank you. I sip the drink but realize that it's really piping hot and very fresh.

"Uagh...its reallby hobt" I manage to say as I scolded my mouth.

"well I was making it to go with a midnight snack but then when it was done, I saw you outside and well...you can figure out the rest" he says laughing at how careless I was with the drink.

"Was I really walking that slowly? I mean the fact that you packed all this, you're never this fast." I blow on the drink to cool it down so my mouth can handle it. I take a long sip, swig it around and gulp it down. My tail wags happily under the quilt.

"Either way you're enjoying yourself and the hot chocolate. So it doesn't matter" he says as he takes a drink from the thermos as if it wasn't hot at all. Tail swinging back and forth in pure happiness.

'Show off. Him and that iron mouth' I think to myself. I take another sip of the hot chocolate and look out at the scenery in front of me, taking in everything my eyes could. Everything felt so perfect....I Just wish he would hold me.

"Hey you ok? Halloos?" Bastion asked waving a paw in front of me, snapping me from my trance.

"Oh! Uh...sorry I was thinking about something." I told him. 'Maybe I should tell him...or not...'

"Well what's wrong? You can tell me" he says with a voice so sincere.

I don't know if I should say...." I say looking away.

"Are you sure? If something is bothering you, you can tell me about it." He give me a look that just screams cuteness. He's always looking out for me.

'This is something I can't tell you' I think in my head. I keep looking straight ahead, trying my best not to look at his face. I know he's making a disappointed face at me and I don't want to see that. After a few short moments he sighs in defeat and drinks some more of the chocolate.

We sit there for some time drinking and staying silent. It was overwhelming.

'he's never this quiet....maybe I should tell him....no it might ruin the friendship....but I don't want to hide this any longer' my mind keeps comparing the pros and cons of telling him my secret. It got to a point to where I started making faces and he instantly notices them and starts chuckling. I snap out of my thought bubble and notice him.

"Why are you laughing?" I say. Puffing my cheeks with anger

"Well you making funny faces. It's hard not to laugh" he snickers.

"How am I making faces?" I give him a playful shove.

"I don't know you just are." He says still chucking. I'm still lost but I get up from the bench and start taking deep breaths.

"Whoa wait don't leave. I was playing around" he said grabbing me slightly from going anywhere, but he knew I wasn't going anywhere as he let me go.

I look at the scenery for a little bit longer, absorbing the sight in my mind then I turn to my friend who just staring at me, waiting for a response or reaction.

"I...I...think I'm in love with you!" I finally say to him as if a switch turn on in my brain, i kept going.

"I really liked you as a friend for a really long time now, but i guess somewhere along the way, i started having feelings for you and its been like this for a while. What I'm trying to say is that....I Love you. "I stop myself from talking so i can wait for a response.

Bastion just sits there, staring at me, he looks at the scenery in front of him. A few moments pass and I began to worry. A slight chill runs across my body as I began to shiver. Then out of the blue, my friend takes the quilt and quickly begins to roll it up and stuff it in backpack. His face was very serious and somehow looked like he was very displeased.

"h-hey, where are you going?" I ask my voice slightly cracking. I go near him. He's already up off the bench and partially away from me. Then he quickly turns around to face me.

"Just stay away from me ok?!?" He says with an angry tone, fangs baring out from his muzzle.

I was taken aback from the sudden anger. I just stood quiet as I looked at him, my heart begins to beat erratically and my eyes start to get watery. "wh-what?"

"Look you're just confused. You don't know what you're saying. Just leave me alone alright? I don't want to hear about this anymore and I don't wanna see you till you figure out what's wrong with yourself!" He states. With that being said he quickly storms off.

I look at his back while he walks away. Hot tears begin to flow and blur my vision. I stand there in complete shock with tears falling across my cheeks, mucus stuffing up my nose making it hard to breath. Trying my best I look back at the bench, I see the now empty Thermos there on the ground. I quickly go to it, grab both the cup/lid and canister and go after my friend while closing it.

"Wait!!!" I yell after him, going through the sleeping trees with the now ankle high snow as fast as my legs can go. I stop halfway though and he somehow disappeared. I begin to frantically look around but I saw nothing, not a soul in sight. I try calling out to him but all I heard was the silence and the wind howling in the background. I start to cry, grasping the Thermos tightly as I replay what he said in my head.

'He...doesn't wanna see me anymore. He didn't like what I said or what I am. Is being gay a bad thing?' This and other thoughts begin to run rampant in my mind. Bad thoughts swirled around as to why he did what he did. As I walk in the snow I couldn't help but fall a few times, at one point I just stayed down, snow freezing my muzzle while the tears melted with the snow as the landed. What was the point of getting up? What was the point of anything right now? But I knew I had to get home, my family might worry. I weakly get up and make my way across the park and into the street.

Still sobbing I make my way back home, still clutching the Thermos across my chest. I make my way to the porch. I pull out my phone to check the time, my numb paws barely feel the screen as I wipe some grease off. 3:00am it said. I set the items in my possession on the floor as I pull out my keys to open the door. Before I even had the chance to push the key in the keyhole the door suddenly swings open causing me to jump and somehow sniffle at the same time.

"Back from you midnight adventure, eh?" It was a voice I knew all too well and wished he didn't open the door. My big brother Tobias stands there with a huge blanket draped over himself. He basically looks like an older version of me but he has a bit of blond fur going between the boarders of his blue and white fur, maybe because he got a bit of German shepherd in him. From my mom side of the family and yet our parents are both huskies. His head fur is a dirty blond, has more muscles than me since he's in the track team and he wears glasses. He immediately noticed my face when I picked up my stuff.

"Alright spill it. What's wrong?" He asked with a know-it-all tone. As soon as he let me in and he closed the door I fall back and sulk down and began bawling. I shocked my brother as his tone went to empathetic. "Hey hey hey, come on. No need to cry now" he placed a paw on my shoulder as my sobbing calmed down to sniffling.

"Just leave me alone ok? I don't want to talk about it. It's bad enough already." I tell him. Trying my best to calm down but the tears still stay.

"I'm not going anywhere till you tell me. Or do I need to go all P.I. on you?" he says.

I couldn't help but grin very weakly, I know how his deduction skills are something to behold and I'm almost as good as him. So I know I can't lie but I was still scared to tell someone else.

"Well..." I began as I sniffled while trying to clear my eyes of the leftover tears. "I went to go see my friend bastion 'cause I was bored and not really tired. We ended up going to the park for some reason where we just chilled a little. Then I don't even know why I-" before I even finished my brother cut me off.

"Where you somehow admitted your feelings for him, he reacted rather the opposite of what you wanted, left in a hurry and now you're heartbroken and distraught."

I gasp at the perfect deduction and my jaw is slightly agape. "How...how did you...?" I asked, looking at him with bulging bloodshot eyes.

"Elementary my dear pup," he starts out trying his best to sound like Sherlock Holmes. "For starters I known about you for a while now and I know at times you give your friend the lovey dovey look when he's not looking. Second, the Thermos, that is which not yours which led me to believe that it was his and he left it behind. Third...well the way you are now. It seems like you must have told him you loved him and he reacted badly to it and..." he stopped talking and pulled me in for a long hug.

I was surprised by everything he said and the hug sent me back to tears again. I hugged him back very tightly and cried on his shoulder, whimpering at the pain I was enduring.

"Its ok, I don't care if you like guys or girls or even a plant. You are my brother and I love you no matter what. Your friend on the other hand." he let out a low growl then continued. "He shouldn't have done what he did, and he better hope I don't see him in the street for his own safety."

I stop crying, letting him go as I let all that sink in. then I recalled what he said. "Wait...why would I love a plant?"

"I don't know, love is weirdly stupid like that. Plus if u did love a plant...well that's going to be complicated and confusing to see."

"Ewww why would u watch what me and planty would do?" I said sarcastically.

"Oh great it has a name. Now we really got to include it in the family." He facepaws and lets out a fake sigh.

We couldn't help ourselves as we laughed uncontrollably. I somehow felt a lot better but the pain was sadly still there. I look at my brother and he has a stupid grin plastered all over his face. It made me smile and then I realized it was really late as a yawn forced its way out of my throat.

"Wait aren't mom and dad here?" I said as I got up from the floor.

"Naw they left an hour ago rather quickly to catch a plane for a business meeting. There gone all throughout winter vacation and then some. So I'm in charge of you pup." he ruffled my black headfur a little as he got up as well.

"Party?" I asked and he quickly winked then yawned.

"Come on now it's time for sleep. Tomorrow were gunna set up the Christmas tree and decorate it. It's the 20th of December and we still don't have it up." he chuckled.

"Alright then" I said walking to my couch but stopped halfway as I looked at the floor. "......oh....Toby?" I said rather quietly, fiddling with my paws.

"Yes?" he said with an annoyed tone since he hates being called that.

With a long silence the words finally managed to escape my throat. "Thank you...."

"You're welcome pup." he sighed. "Now off to sleep...and take off you gear, it's still wet." He smiles at me as we both head off to bed and I rid of my winter gear.

For what lied ahead I do not know. As Tobais once told me, 'were going to have to see how this plays out, good or bad we see it to the end!' and quite frankly...I'm afraid. But I know for sure, my brother will help me through this and when school begins again, ill somehow figure out what to do from there.