A Fine Wine
#5 of Paranormal Detective Agency
A simple housecall. Steel was thrilled as he drove down a his van, "Just an easy job, decent pay, no violence. Life is good..." He zoned as he drove down the desolate road and into an upper-class suburb. The house was easy to spot despite matching every other house. Steel walked up and knocked on the door, "Hello, you called about a problem?"
In no time at all, a scared woman opened the door, "You must be," She looked around to make sure none of the neighbors could hear, "From the Paranormal Detective Agency, right? Please come in."
She led him to the living room, in which her husband was sitting. He was deep in thought, and looked a bit fearful himself, "So, I hear you have a problem that I may be able to help with."
The husband nodded, "Yes, it's been a while we think, but this unholy... thing... won't leave our house. It just stays there in the attic, mocking us. It hides whenever someone comes to investigate though. I'm not an expert, but I think it's a succubus."
"Oddly specific. Well, you know my rates, and according to my accountant you're willing to pay. Describe the succubus to me. Male? Female?"
"Female."
Steel nodded, pretending to be deep in thought, "Alright, in the attic, right?" He pulled out a vial of bubbling water, "Just stay down here, I'm saying this cause what I'm about to do can have dire implications for anyone not involved." Steel walked up the stairs and shook the vial, "By order of the holy..." When he was out of earshot, "something something ghost." The stairs to the attic were clearly marked with caution tape, so he helped himself to taking it down and stuffing it into a pocket.
In the attic, in a dark corner, a woman was kneeling. Her crimson wings and tiny white horns poking through her long red hair were the only indications of being from another world, "Who are you?"
"Currently? A guy shaking a little glass tube filled with Sprite." He took out the cork and let the carbonated liquid explode everywhere, "Now, I'm Steel from the Paranormal Detective Agency. I'm here to have a chat with you, if that's alright."
She stood up. In typical succubus fashion, she wore nothing. Steel did notice purple glowing shackles around her wrist, adding a piece to the puzzle, "Uh, why are you staring? My breasts are a little higher, and my vagina lower."
"I know, but I've seen boobs. And a vagina or two. Your horns are kinda lame, but I like your wings. And that matching spaded tail I'm just noticing. No, I'm staring at the binding." She gasped, "Yeah, this ain't my first rodeo lady. I'm here to solve this little mystery of why you're stuck in this house. First," He tossed her the caution tape, "I don't mind, but cover up your sexy parts a bit. Then we're gonna have a little chat with the owners of this house."
"And... what? I'm a bit confused Steel." A succubus was a race known for being familiar with everyone, even strangers, "And what am I supposed to do?"
Steel sighed, "Well, wrap it around your chest first, then make underwear? Or something. I don't know, if there are clothes in the boxes around here you could try them."
She commenced covering her nudity, "No, there aren't..." Her tone was very unlike a succubus. She was done, but Steel still felt the need to avert his eyes, "I'm covered up you know."
"Listen, I have three women who can smell when I look at another, cut me some slack." He paused, "Also, follow me. Take my hand first." She still had the strut of her race, but her attitude was much more restrained. Steel took her downstairs and into the living room.
Needless to say, the people there were horrified, "What... what is that?!" The woman was concerned while the husband's eyes went wide. They both stood up and retreated to the back of the room.
"Have a seat on the couch, we'll take that big seat." Steel sat down on the reclining chair while the succubus sat on his lap, "I'm going to have to run for my life when I get back home... hurry up and sit down." The couple did so, but were still nervous, "Now, as you can see, you have a succubus. Who can tell me about the succubuseses. Succubi? I don't care, someone answer."
The couple sat for a moment and looked at each other before the husband answered, "Uh, they seduce people?"
Steel shook his head, "So close, yet so far."
"I don't care what she is, she's evil! A monster!" The wife shouted, and the succubus looked away in shame.
"That's like yelling at a t-rex for eating other dinosaurs. Or people. It's in their nature you know." Steel received blank looks from the other three in the room, "It's... best not to ask how I know. T-rex stomach acids make you smell funny for a week." He shivered, making the succubus jump, "Well, how about some history? Or... details? Listen, it was a long drive. Mr. Husband is partially correct. A free succubus goes around, seducing others, and what they do that for varies upon the type. Some want souls, some want attention, some want body fluids, things like that."
He was interrupted, "So, she's been eating something of ours?!" The wife was upset and scared as she gripped her husband tightly.
Steel poked one of the white horns on the succubus' head, which confused her further, "See these? This is a different kind. The size and color indicates a desire for courtship. Not like in a court, with the judge and powdered wigs, but... dating? Shut up, I've had a rough week." Steel violently shook his head to clear his mind, "Now, that's just a free succubus. As with other demonic creatures, they can be bound to someone. This occurs in either a mutual way, which causes a yellow ghostly ring to appear on both partners fingers, usually the ring. Kinda like marriage, except you are bound for life and only want each other 'til the end of time. Romantic. Do you have a pad and pencil?"
The husband nodded, left the room, and returned with a sheet of paper and pen, "What is this for?"
"Just a reminder. Pick. Up. Thyme." Steel folded the paper and crammed it into a pocket, "Once again, don't ask." He paused for a silent minute, "Oh, right, I was telling you people stuff. Right. The other kind of binding is forced upon the demon, and makes them the slave of the binder. The bindee, as it were, is helpless and can only follow the binder's orders. I know you two can't see it, well, one of you can't see the shackles." Steel smiled as he examined their eyes. The wife was confused, like it was some fairy-tale he was trying to tell. The husband broke into a tiny sweat, "Also, the bindee can't reveal the truth. I can though, isn't that right Mr. Husband?"
He stared in shock as his wife slowly turned her head in what could only be described as a mix of anger and murderous rage. They may not seem different, but they really were in this instance, "WHAT?!"
"Ms. Wife, as I'm sure you aren't going to be married much longer, there is a way to break the binding and free the succubus. Unfortunately, only you can do it. Fortunately, you'll enjoy doing it. Well, let me think for a second." Steel leaned back in the chair and stared at the ceiling, "Alright. Easiest and fastest method. Wife, succubus, first introduce yourselves."
The both stood up, "I am Liliy."
The wife was still fuming, "Jane."
"Good, we're making progress. Two more steps. Bonus step: don't slap me. Now, first you need to kiss. Just a little peck will do." The two women glared at him, "I'm not saying it cause I want to particularly see it. This is much easier than performing a five hour ceremony which requires copious amounts of blood from all of you, a tooth, lock of hair, and possible damnation of souls." The two women quickly locked lips, an Steel was sure that a large amount of anger was pointed in his direction, "Okay. Now Jane, slap the shit out of your husband and we're done."
Steel was happy that he didn't have to risk his own life for once, but not as happy that the job took far less than an hour, meaning he only got paid $1000 for this job. He sighed as soon as the shackles on the succubus broke, "I feel... lighter."
"Yep, you're a free bird now, do whatever you please. Now about my pay..."
Jane was breathing heavily over the beaten man, "Take it." She pointed at an envelope on the table, "And take this trash with you!" She kicked her husband.
"I have a strict policy. Once the job is done, so am I. I have confidence that you can remove him from the house. Best of luck to you all."
Liliy tilted her head, "Where are you going?"
Steel thought for a moment, "First, a hotel where I can take an ice cold shower, then back home so I can get yelled at for something." He left the home and stepped into his van, but the door didn't shut all the way, "I'm going to be murdered to death, aren't I?"
Liliy was sitting in the passenger seat, "May I join you? I could be of assistance in some way, perhaps as another detective?"
"Hm? Oh, you're here. No, I'm talking to the lady in the back." The Grim Reaper tossed a paper bag onto the dashboard, "How nice! Saves me a trip anyway. How can I help you?" Steel turned around and looked at the Grim Reaper, who had crossed her legs.
"I shall join you on this trip, and then I have personal matter I need to discuss. Please, continue your discussion with the demon. I promise I won't murder you."
Steel nodded once, and turned to Liliy, "You sure about that? Cleopatra won't be happy. Then again, she's never happy. Tell you what... put on clothes and you're hired." Steel started the van and the took off. It was a long, silent ride with a demon and the physical avatar of death. Oddly, this was relatively normal to him, "Alright ladies, home sweet home. I have to go like you wouldn't believe."
"Go ahead Steel, I shall wait here."
Steel shrugged and led Liliy up into his office. Luckily it was in the middle of the night, so nobody noticed how little she wore. He wasn't worried about her wings and tail, because the deceptive succubus could hide those at will from the sight of mortals. Steel didn't work with mortals though, "Who is that?"
"This is Liliy, she needs a job and we are one of the few that could hire her. Aqua, get her situated, and Sabrina, you can train her a bit in what we do. I'm guessing the queen is sleeping, but if she wakes up tell her I'm going back out. I'm either going on a date or standing in front of a firing squad. Hard to tell." Steel walked over to the mini-fridge and pulled out an energy drink, "Don't judge me, I've been awake for a good 50 hours already."
He left Liliy to his kinder coworkers and jumped back into the van, only to see that the Grim Reaper was now in a long black dress. She had white fur, but around her eyes and mouth were perfectly formed black tufts of fur. On the whole, it was creepy. Even her fingertips were black, "I have placed a suit in the back, hurry up and change, we have a job to do."
"You sure are a sweet talker. How about talking a little more? Pretty please?"
"Get dressed. We're hunting for a book. A very special book, in the hands of a very special man. I cannot say that we will get a chance to kill him, but there is a good chance that you will. Or maybe I will."
Steel struggled to slip on the suit, "Hey, it fits. A date with death, almost sounds like a cheesy book title."
He was coerced into driving directly to a high-end restaurant, and quickly found out that the Grim Reaper went by Mrs. Field in the mortal world of reservations and calling ahead. The two took a seat and immediately the waiter brought out a bottle of wine with a black label, no doubt from the Grim Reaper's personal collection, "Please Steel, have a drink. It's quite tasty." She took a sip after the waiter filled two glasses. The ghostly fog from the bottle was dismissed by all.
"Hm... Renaissance souls, a hint of royalty. My my, you broke out the good stuff. Why?"
The Grim Reaper slipped on silk gloves, "I apologize, I'll make it up to you."
Steel rested his head on the table, "I hope so, your poison... isn't easy... on the... lungs..." He was more resiliant than the other patrons, so he could at least see them pass out before he succumbed. The Grim Reaper's aura was a dangerous tool at her disposal, and she only used it when it was necessary.
......................................
He woke up on a bed that was certainly not his. A glance out of a stained glass window gave him an indication of where he was: the realm of death, "At least I'm just visiting this time."
"I truly am sorry, but at least I could obtain this book." The Reaper was still in a dress, and held aloft a book that was bound in what appeared to be skin, "Armageddon worshippers will have to wait a very long time until this knowledge becomes available. With a flick of her dainty wrist, she tossed it into a magical fire, "Done."
"You could have warned me, I would have played along." He was still in the suit, "Mind telling me how you'll make it up to me?"
She grinned, a familiar grin to Steel, "I know where they are gathering, we can take out a great deal of them at once, if you're up to it."
He looked around the Grim Reaper's bed chamber. A very large room, crimson silk draped in tasteful ways, a roaring fireplace, art from some of the best painters in history, and a unique set of armor. Leather and iron, filled with cuts and dents. The nameplate was scratched out at the bottom, "Heh, I'm up for it. Later you'll have to tell me about the armor though."
The two smiled at each other, "It would be a pleasure."