Slipping Away
Footsteps in the dark...
A grey sky, a sunless horizon,
I am now running, sprinting,
The white and warm lights
Passing me by like moments of life.
Only cold winds...
I am treading a path I know,
But I'm still a lost little child,
So unloved within that
There is a stranger inside.
A road I cross...
Flashing lights, I panic, I jump,
The devil's horns blaring as
What I thought was my destination
Passed me by barely through a glint of silver.
The streetlights fade...
I lose myself in civil wilderness,
This park of green and grey,
Of grass and pavement,
Far from your eyes and into the darkness.
A walk across a bridge...
I still see your ghost, your apparition,
My memories, my recollection...
Only sweet reverie could be
Such venomous poison.
Stop it... Leave me alone!
My shout stirs the water,
The gentle ducks that shiver,
Whispering trees that quiver...
Your image disappears in the ripples...
There I am again...
In this playground so silent,
So deserted, that only rain
Is my companion so gentle,
And still... It hurts...
Here they fall...
Tear drops of heaven,
Tear drops of mine,
Both awash and dripping away,
Like precious moments, lost forever...
In that moment...
That subtle and quiet moment,
All silence and what I am
Is broken and shattered
In painful screams of misery...
Melancholy sings...
While I howl into darkening night...
A prelude to suicide brings
Only heartbreak, only sorrow,
Why do we sing?
All the memories...
All the moments...
All the malice....
It all came flooding
Back to me...
A feminine heart tied between two walls
That will break either way it is cut loose...
What do I say? What do I do?
Only agony whichever I choose...
I can't decide...
I just want to slip away!
A friend so caring, so gentle and loving,
Joyous red and green within soft eyes...
He who is so worried, only selfishness
Responds, all I said and did was useless...
Just like me...
I just want to slip away!
A family so familiarly empty,
Driven by cycle, filled with disconnection...
A couple once bonded by love, but now always
Entwined in eternal argument, shouting aplenty...
It's still the same...
I just want to slip away!
A little brother told that life isn't fair,
That he has to go where others dictate is best...
His tears in my shoulder, all I could do was cry,
And lie, and say, "It will be alright"...
No, it won't...
I just want to slip away!
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Do you have a plan?" They ask, they wonder...
"Do you see yourself anywhere in 10 years' time?"
Do I see myself at all in 10 days' time?
No, I don't...
I just want to slip away!
The bell rings, the class starts, the teacher begins
Their lecture, their scolding so suddenly harsh...
The bell rings, the class ends, the teacher leaves,
And all I can do is break down in tears afterwards...
I can't take it...
I just want to slip away!
A step out the door, a sleeve to wipe away the despair,
A sunny sky and cheerful smile, a different person...
They can't see beyond the laughs, the jokes,
The wise-cracks that serve to hide it all...
I can't show it...
I just want to slip away!
And then he left, he departed,
Upon metallic wings, to an island home...
A night was spent alone, not lonely,
Whispering a prayer, "I miss you already"...
I can't let go of it...
I just want to slip away!
On the morrow, under a clear sky, through glass
I see a pool of clear water shimmering bright...
Your spectre and my phantasms return,
Of moments that remind me of what I've lost...
Stop reminding me...
I just want to slip away!
Then I see her, fur of chestnut and cloudy white,
Chasing her tail, as happy as canine can be...
I am filled with even more regret,
I face the feeling again, the loss of cherished time...
Please stop...
I just want to slip away!
My worth is falsified, my use is demeaned,
To watching bright visuals move, clicking galore...
The consumer of time, of life, a glorious distraction
That only ends with wish lists of self-betterment...
I can't do it...
I just want to slip away!
I know that there were times of good, of joy,
When we laughed, we smiled, we loved...
But it's easier to remember everything
That ever went wrong in this life...
It's not fair...
I just want to slip away!
A life of memories remembered,
In half the time of an hour passed...
Still my guts and lungs convulse,
But I have stopped...
I have had enough...
I just want to slip away!
And now I'm running... Running away...
Through wind and rain, fiercest frost,
A fork in the road, take a right, I am still lost...
I don't know where I am going, I am still running...
Running away... From you...
Through shades of green and darkness,
Glimmering drops upon dainty leaves,
A slip, a fall... I've lost it all...
I have slipped away...