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Slowly it came to me, arrived like sunrise With no haste it filled my world with feelings Just as I moved to this land, to my demise I was tumbling, tried to find meanings

I was confused I was from another land Saw it closed Failed to make my stand

I didn't know what to say or what to do As I fell into the foreign traps of loneliness I tried to fill the needs with thoughts of you But I found myself lower, engulfed in sadness

I was nothing He didn't see my wave Heart was clutching It asked me to crave

The sun rose, I tried to reach it with force The shadow of myself devoured my anchor My inner peace began to shatter, to divorce I wanted to come closer to you, wanted more

I did learn Tried to act very strong Wanted to earn But it didn't go long

The forming ice inside my heart stung me Even though I am filled with lovely emotions But slowly I began to think: Not meant to be I never really moved from my same locations

I was hurt Didn't want to acknowledge it I didn't alert Ones who didn't see it

Sun reached its highest, something is not right The light shone but without the warmth I loved My sad side began to take over my eternal night The thought came; I was not wanted, unloved

I faced you But was afraid of rejection I loved you But I tried ridding connection

Mind began to submit, to bend, to surrender Eyes were red, flowed in endless hopelessness People from school ignored me, didn't render What I needed to survive my drowning in mess

I was forgetting What it meant to live To see everything I really wanted to give

Now I only reach the sun in my mind, dreams Can only say it to you in my sleeps, burned Wanted to see your eyes but only saw gleams Your heart began to close for me, it turned

I am bleeding The ice inside scarred me They were feeding I fell upon my knee

The sun went farther and farther, no return Mind and body began to froze, started the kill I didn't, didn't tried to change it, forgot to learn That there was more than this, because I was ill

One chance left To say it to you I was bereft One last thing to do

Inside I was nearly dead, hope held me alive I cried out to the sun, which had turned afar With few words I said it, all you did was deprive All I ever received from you was The scar

I was ready Moments from the end Held it steady But got stopped, new friend

Former sun was gone, but new ascended The school changed to another, a new light New people descended from above, mended My heart, was nearly gone, gave new might

A life will I was given to improve Heart to fill To heal and make it move

The new sun was lighter, warmer, better He was so friendly which I've never seen I came to revelation that life does matter

Even though what I have seen and been