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My life with Blaziken chapter 24

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So I said there might be a lesbian sex scene in this chapter. I quote "only we know what a girl wants...". But being a guy, I have absolutely no idea what women want. So uhmm, yeah. Anyone of you guys now what women want? No? WHY ARE WE SO CLUELESS!?

-the combination of the exclamation point and the question mark, as seen above, is called an "interrobang" (hehe, bang)

-we (and by we I mean me) are bringing back Patrick as our main character... *For now*... -maniacal laugh- (don't worry I'm not offing anyone)

-I know you all missed me, I was just on a somewhat long hiatus. I'm not going anywhere any time soon.

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It's a wonderful life. I may not have much of a left eye, but things have never been clearer. I've found the woman I want to settle down with, I have friends, I have a warehouse full of explosives. Yup, life is good.

"Patrick, what the hell are you doing" Becky asked

"research" I responded as I dropped an unspecified material into a beaker of another unspecified material.

"I have two questions"

"Shoot" I braced myself for the worst.

"when did you become a chemist" not what I had anticipated, but I'll roll with it.

"Last night" haha, I'm like a god of humor or something.

"So you are mixing random materials and hoping you don't kill us all?"

"Pretty much" and I got a shoe in my face. I'm just glad she doesn't have cleats. Or high heels actually, because that would suck. Becky sighed.

"Why do I let you do these things" she muttered. I had to think hard about that for a moment.

"I have no idea" I said, with a second shoe stuck to my forehead. Sometimes I wonder why I put up with the shoes. I mean sure, I probably deserve most of them, but still.

"So are we done here?" I asked

"Just don't kill anyone you moron" she sighed. Mine is certainly an interesting relationship, but it works out in the end.

"Actually, before I go. Can I ask what exactly you are researching?" That was a question I had also not anticipated.

"Alchemy"

"You mean the old idea that you could turn other materials into gold?"

"Well it's a bit more complicated than that, but yes, that's the gist" alchemy. An ancient pursuit, but far more interesting than anything else I could think of at the time. At current, the only thing I had managed was making unspecified material 2 slightly more fun than molasses in winter.

"Couldn't you just get a chessboard or something?"

"Have one. It's in the living room under the table. It's not as much fun since Cloe keeps beating me. I swear she's cheating by reading my mind or something, but she insist she isn't"

"Well ok then" she walked out of the room, most likely attempting to get out of this conversation as fast as possible. I took a couple minutes to clean up my equipment and put a stopper in a vial of a concoction I had plans for, and slipped it into my sleeve discreetly. I yawned and walked out into the living room, smoothing my hair down to avoid looking like a mad scientist. Blaziken looked up from her egg and gave me an enthusiastic wave. I looked over at Becky and saw she was looking at... A bridal magazine?

"Oh, hey Patrick, when did you get out here" she said nervously, hiding the magazine behind her back. I sat down next to her on the couch, taking a moment to compose myself.

"This isn't what it looks like. I was just, uh. Looking for a dress for Cloe"

"Hey, don't pin this on me" Cloe returned.

"I guess we need to talk" I said.

"Yeah, I guess. I had wanted to keep the idea a secret till I had all the details worked out, but I guess now you know." She blushed, a rare sight from Becky, though not unexpected in this situation.

"You could have just told me you know, I am your boyfriend after all. We have a kid together, I'm pretty sure we can handle it" I grinned

"Does that mean-"

"Yes it does" I barely finished the sentence before she shrieked and wrapped me in a bone crunching hug. All the others got up and congratulated us, Cloe spinning around and going on about catering and reservations, and Markus laughing and spinning around with her.

"I know we can't really afford anything fancy right now, but i promise this wedding will be one that nobody will ever forget" I told her, getting myself pulled into the festivities.

"I know you will" she smiled, tears in her eyes.

--- a three day time skip

Everything was all planned out, the wedding was set for next week, the dress was payed for, my tux was ironed out and ready, now for the invitations. Though with invitations comes my least favorite part, inviting my family. I don't talk about them much, mainly because I hate the guts of each and every one of them.

"Yeah, me and my fiancée you only just now heard about are getting married and tradition demands that you be there to witness it."

"You don't speak to us for three years and suddenly you want us to be at a wedding with some woman we've never heard of? We'll be there" and we hung up. Just another successful conversation with a father I never wanted to talk to again, yup.

"Why do you hate your family so much?" Cloe asked, sitting across from me at the chessboard, whooping me at it again.

"Oh and checkmate" DAMMIT, NOT AGAIN! I swear, if there's ever a day I beat Cloe in chess, it's the day the world ends.

"You know the word checkmate comes from the Arabic word 'sha matt' which means 'the king is dead'"

"I know. You say that every time I beat you" she yawned, setting the pieces back to their proper places. So I told her about all the things I went through growing up, all my crushed dreams and squandered talents, not to mention my teenage years as an antisocial bookworm, which my jock of a father greatly disapproved of. Yup, classic eighty's movie life, of course there was no girl in the end, aside from my eventual meeting with Becky. Such a weird tale that was, what with the interrogations in that room with the two women. Wait a second... There were two of them, oh yeah.

"Hey Becky?" I called into the kitchen, where she was busy eating a sandwich.

"What?"

"Who was that other woman you interrogated me with back in that nightmare factory?"

"Oh that's Janice, she's a ghost trainer. We worked together along with a few friends of mine that were tracking down Markus"

"Does she have a sister?" came a voice from the hallway.

"Shut up Markus" we all laughed.

--- two more days

"Ok everyone, here we go" I said as I aimed the custom crossbow at the pyre. Then I fired, launching the vial at high speed. It shattered against the wood mound in a huge burst of flame.

"That was the coolest thing I've ever seen" gawked Markus, watching the flames consume the wood pile.

"I KNOW, ISN'T IT!" I shouted enthusiastically.

"Why would we ever need an explosive crossbow?" Becky asked.

"because it's cool as fuck" me and Markus said in unison.

"Of course" she said "men" and went on with her planning, albeit with a smile.

--- the day of the wedding

"Today's the day" Cloe went on, still talking about whatever she was talking about, I honestly wasn't paying attention.

"Jeez Cloe, you're more exited about this than I am" I chuckled

"So is your chair" she shot back, and I had to give it to her.

"Hey, I just think it's a bit much. I'm not comfortable with large crowds of people" I yawned, laying back in my seat. "And this outfit. Sure it's nice and all, but I don't do formal"

"This from the guy who wears nothing but jeans, work boots and an orange shirt year round. Yeah, we noticed" Becky chuckled.

I stretched and stood up, straightening out my suit, and went out to mingle with all the strangers and their way-too-formal clothing, and as I did I came across Gordon and officer Jenny, who looked very strange out of her police uniform. I spent some time talking with them, making a few batman jokes with Gordon, you know. I was actually starting to enjoy myself when I ran into my family.

"Son"

"Dad, mom, hell-child siblings"

"WOBBUFET!" Shouted my sister's annoying pokemon.

"Glad to know you hold us in such high respects" my sister muttered, crossing her arms like a pouting child.

"So. When are we gonna get to meet the blushing bride?" My dad interrupted, attempting to diffuse the situation.

"That would be me" Becky sounded from behind me, looking stunning in her dress.

"Well hello there Becky, I'm Carly" my mom gushed, shaking her hand.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Webb, I'm happy to finally meet Patricks parents" she smiled, elbowing me in the arm.

"Ouch, fine. So how have you been dad?" I asked, trying to make it seem like I cared.

"Well, to be honest, I've been spending a bit of time studying up on the things you seem to enjoy. And that's how I discovered sword you left in the basement, and-"

"That's where I left 'back biter" I interrupted.

"Yeah, well I swung it around a few times, and I had to admit, it was kinda exhilarating" I went slackjawed there for a moment.

"It seems we do have some things in common after all old man" I smiled.

"Hey, who you calling old you runt" he said with a grin.

"Back biter?" He asked

"I name every sword I make. The names don't necessarily have anything to do with the sword." I told him, sitting down to talk.

--- Becky, an hour later

I stood on the makeshift altar next to Patrick, with the priest saying some things that I barely heard through the excitement. I looked over the crowd, seeing all the

people's and Pokemon's faces faces staring up at us, some crying and some watching with rapt attention. I looked over at Patrick, who was practically squirming in discomfort at being around such a crowd, not to mention the tux he was wearing. So childish, but he's mine. The decorations were wonderful, considering our budget. The entire yard was surrounded by white pillars, wreathed in beautiful flowers, giving the entire area a civilized feel.

"-take Becky to be your wife"

"I do" Patrick smiled

"And do you Becky, take Patrick as your husband"

"I do" I said, with tears in my eyes.

"Then you may kiss the bride" and we did. It was wonderful, to know that we were married now. Such a feeling that I could never put into words.

"Ladies and gentlemen, before you stand up. If like you all to take a look around" Patrick said, with his arm over my shoulder. What is he doing? Everyone looked around in confusion, wondering what it was that was going on. Suddenly fire burst from every pillar, surrounding us in a dazzlingly beautiful eruption of burning color that seemed to steal the breath from your lungs.

"What did you-"

"I've been busy too you know" he said, grinning ear to ear.

And that truly was a wedding that nobody would ever forget.

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-was that not the best wedding you've ever seen? I thought it was. Though I've never actually seen a real wedding, so I only have movies to go off of.

-the ending "that nobody would ever forget" almost makes it sound like they all died or something. But I assure you, no people were hurt in the making of this film

-I actually love my parents (but I do hate my siblings), that was merely a useful literary device