Cupcakes Re-done (Rough Draft)

Story by ChildoftheNight on SoFurry

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#1 of Stories

This is a rough draft of my version of "Cupcakes", the famous My Little Pony fanfiction. All credit goes to the original writer of the original "Cupcakes" (I can't seem to remember his name though). This probably has many, many grammatical errors, and this is sort of old. Anyway, enjoy. WARNING: Yes, there is gore.

(EDIT: I went in real quick and tried to fix some stuff.)


Rarity was strolling around the Carousel Boutique, watching the other ponies trot by. All was peaceful in Ponyville, except that Rainbow Dash left for the Wonderbolts, and Fluttershy left to take care of her mother. Strange that Pinkie was the one who knew about it first.......oh well. Just a coincidence. Just then, she remembered that she promised to meet pinkie at Sugarcube Corner. She said she tried her hand (or, well, hoof) at sewing, and wanted Rarity to critique her work. She happily agreed, and went to say goodbye to Sweetie Belle, her younger sister. "Sweetie Belle! Sweetie Belle! " Rarity called. She's probably out with her friends, the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Rarity thought. She decided to just leave and hope that she got back before Sweetie Belle. Rarity galloped down the street, whizzing by other ponies and assorted street carts. She came to skidding halt in front of Sugarcube Corner. She checked to see if her mane was tidy, her coat clean, then walked inside. "Pinkie?" Rarity said. All of a sudden, something jumped out the shadows. "You're coming with us, pony." a raspy voice said. Rarity froze. The Diamond Dogs? They were back? Soon Rarity heard giggling. "P-Pinkie?" soon the giggling was full out laughing. Pinkie was rolling on the ground, tears coming out of her eyes. "I got you good, Rarity!" Pinkie said in between gasps for breath. "But, let's get to what I need you here for. " Pinkie stood up and wiped her eyes. "I kept the clothes I made in the back room, but first....." Pinkie reached into the oven and pulled out a fresh batch of cupcakes. "I baked you a treat!" She pulled out a cooled cupcake, and put some white icing and purple sprinkles on it. "It probably doesn't taste as good as the other cupcakes I make, I forgot a 'dash' of my Pinkie Pie secret ingredient...." Her voice trailed off. "That's ok, pinkie." Rarity said politely, and put the treat in her mouth. "It doesn't seem any different than-" Rarity suddenly stopped talking. She felt dizzy, and nauseous. Soon her limbs felt heavy, and she collapsed. She thought she heard pinkie say "night night....." but she just thought she imagined it. Rarity awoke in a pitch-black room. The air was musty, and humid. She thought she was in a basement, and she tried to confirm her assumption and tried to illuminate the room when suddenly something behind her pounded down on her horn, cracking it, and rendering it unusable. She cried out in pain, and her eyes watered. Suddenly, a large spotlight light up, blinding her temporarily. When her eyes adjusted, she saw pinkie come out of the shadows. "P-Pinkie? What's going on?" Rarity said, beginning to panic. "Well, remember that special secret ingredient I talked about earlier? Well, I ran out of it, as I said. And, apart from you critiquing my clothing, I need you to collect more of that ingredient. And don't worry, it doesn't take any effort. Just lay there. I will take care of this for you." Pinkie said calmly. "What do you mean?" Rarity asked, her voice quivering. Just then the lights came on around the room. Rarity sat wide-eyed in horror as she gazed around the room. Organs filled with helium were tied on chairs, chairs made of flesh and bones. And sitting in those chairs, were the taxidermied versions of rainbow dash and fluttershy, wearing party hats that had their cutie marks on them. "See this outfit? I made it. This is rainbow's cutie mark, and derpy's, and fluttershy's,and- well, I don't have time to explain them all. Anyways, this isn't what I need you for. Here's what I need you to look at. She pulled out a shawl made out of white fur: pony fur. It was sewn together with purple hair. "N-no........is that......?" Rarity said, beginning to cry. "Well, one of the cutie mark crusaders was missing and I found her. She always wanted to make clothes......so I made her into some." Pinkie said gleefully. "Don't worry; she died for a worthy cause. For gummy's blanket!" with that, she threw the fur to gummy, who curled up on it and left filthy footprints all over it. "Now, to get to you." pinkie said."N-NO!" Rarity screamed out as Pinkie came closer. "Scream all you like, nopony can hear you." Pinkie said calmly. She pulled out a scalpel, and its silver blade gleamed in the light. Pinkie went over to rarity's flank, and was about to cut her cutie mark off when she said, "You know what? How about we change things up a bit." She went over to her table full of sharp tools and was looking through them when she found what she needed. A large syringe. "You know what? I'm going to be easier on you. You've always been delicate." Pinkie jabbed the needle deep into Rarity's chest, and depressed the plunger all of the way. But instead of being numbed, Rarity felt only pain. The unknown chemical burned through her veins, making her thrash to try and make it stop. Pinkie was laughing, and then took the scalpel, and cut a large chunk out of Rarity's left flank, cutie mark and all. She did the same to the other side. By now, Rarity had screamed so much her throat was scratchy, and she was running out of energy. Tears poured out of her eyes, and she whimpered. "P-Please! Stop P-pinkie!" Rarity said between sobs. "I'll do anyth-thing!" Pinkie turned to her. "Well, it's too late for that. Your number came up and, well, I always wanted a new dress....." Pinkie said with an ominous smile. She set upon Rarity with skinner in hand, and began on her right flank, slicing all of the skin off of her leg. Rarity howled in pain, and thrashed. "Stop moving, or I'm going to cut more than the skin!" Pinkie said, letting out a frustrated grunt. "I thought doing something new would be fun, but you haven't pleased me." She finished cutting the skin off of her leg and picked up the scalpel again. "Instead of numbing you for the harvest, I'm going to leave you be. So you feel the pain I always felt. You never liked me." Pinkie carved a large slice from below rarity's ribs to her abdomen. Blood poured out, and Rarity screamed and closed her eyes. "No, no. No closing your eyes." Pinkie took her scalpel and, swiftly and cleanly, sliced Rarity's eyelids off. Rarity was going to cry out, but she was fading fast due to this large amount of blood loss. Pinkie reached deep into the white unicorn, pulling her internal organs out. Soon Rarity's white coat was stained blood red, with her blood. Pinkie saw her victim was not responding, and she injected her with adrenaline. Rarity awoke with a gasp, blood spurting out of her. It wouldn't be long now. The pain was immense for Rarity, and all she could do was let tears pour down her cheeks.

"You know what, Rarity? I have one last gift for you...Oh, and I decided not to make you a dress. You're going to be my new mannequin!"

And with that, Pinkie doused Rarity's whole body in a mixture of acid, lemon juice, and alcohol. Pinkie laughed as she heard it bubbling and sizzling as it melted rarity's flesh off of her. Soon, all that was left of rarity was bones.

"Oh well, no new dress. I still have her cutie marks though. That's all I need. I bet she'd make a horrible cupcake anyway..."