FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

It was a shoddy mirror, for sure. Dirty, bent and cracked in the corner. Lucario didn't know why he expected better, being out in the wilderness and all. Of course, the biggest issue was that the mirror was somehow broken enough to be reflecting the wrong thing. In it he saw a hunching Pokémon with a bottle of beer in his freakishly overgrown paw, instead of a confident human in the prime of his youth, carrying a Pokéball in one hand and a delicious sandwich in the other.

He could picture it now. A confident smirk, worn only by men that knew neither fear nor defeat. A red jacket for protection from the elements, and shorts for perfect mobility. In the case of the latter he did not have to stretch his imagination too far, again remembering he had yet to replace Cyon's old trousers or even give them a more thorough cleaning than what could be offered by the river and a good, solid rock. Were he still human he would have a washing machine, not to mention bedding and food. How he longed for those days.

"Hey, stupid," a voice sounded, "Look at me when I'm talking to you."

Lucario had no intention of lifting his head to greet whoever was coming to forcibly drag him out of his misery. Arguing with Zerobi and Celebi had only brought him down even more. Hopefully whoever this was would leave faster if he ignored them, like with Zoroark. He stared into the mirror while feigning unawareness, only to realize the inconspicuous apparatus for reflection had finally started working. In the mirror was not a sulking Lucario, but a healthy human being he recognized all too well.

"That's better," Ethan said while gesturing towards Lucario, whose mouth fell open.

"... The hell?" was all Lucario could say to the peculiar yet nostalgic sight.

"I could say the same," Ethan replied with an uncaring shrug, "But if Cyon gets a round with you, that means I do too."

"But... You're me," Lucario mumbled breathlessly. Ethan's voice was definitively his own from before he transformed, sounding a bit off as if coming out of a recording. First Cyon, and now this. Was the mirror magical? It would not be the most implausible thing he had encountered so far. Or maybe was someone playing a prank on him? Idly observing the room and realizing the amount of empty bottles were about to reach three digits, he felt that if the second impossible illusion wasn't enough to get him to stop drinking, nothing would be.

Deciding that things weren't strange enough already, Ethan stepped out of the mirror and sat down next to Lucario. Although normally somewhat shorter, their heads ended up on the same level thanks to Ethan keeping his back straight while Lucario was still hunching over.

"Listen. What are you doing?" Ethan asked while looking at him, "You're going to lose all your friends if you keep this up."

"Big talk, coming from a guy who gave away all his Pokémon..." Lucario muttered slowly and stared into the wall, not really in the mood to humor his own restless brain. Ethan followed his stare and sighed.

"Seems I have a tendency for that," he muttered, "You know. Being an idiot."

"What, so we're idiots now? Just because we can't take all this shit?" Lucario exclaimed while raising his voice, "You were fed up with being a trainer. I'm fed up with being a punching bag. Heck, mom was fed up with being a mom! I'm just carrying on the family tradition!"

They looked at each other following the outburst, both human and Pokémon sharing the same expression of defiance.

"... Am I really this stubborn?" Ethan said after a moment of silence, placing his elbows on the crate while gesturing with his hands, "Alright, let me try to explain - Stubbornness will only last you so long."

"Stubbornness is the only thing keeping me going..." Lucario grumbled, wondering if this Ethan even knew about the brutal fights he had been through.

"Precisely," Ethan said before leaning in close, "You can sit here and drink... Being alone and sad... But eventually, you won't be able to take it anymore, and by then it'll be too late to go back to the way things were. Everyone will have abandoned you, because you abandoned them first."

"YOU'RE the one who abandoned your Pokémon!" Lucario shouted, wondering what gave his past the right to lecture his present.

"And every day of my life, I regretted it!" Ethan shouted back. Both of them displayed the same dumbfounded expression, despite being of two completely different species.

"It's true. I came to hate being a trainer, but it was ingrained in my blood... I was addicted to it..." Ethan elaborated as he shrugged, "I knew that to quit, there could be nothing for me to go back to. I released all my Pokémon and stepped down at the peak of my triumph, ruining everything I had spent the past decade building up..."

"It worked," Lucario replied. No one heard anything about Ethan ever again, not even when he died nine years later.

"Yeah, but..." Ethan started, but trailed off as he glanced to the side.

"You missed the exciting lifestyle?" Lucario tried to fill in, being the same person after all.

"No..." Ethan replied while looking a bit unsure of himself.

"You... Had to get a real job and realized being a trainer wasn't so bad after all?" Lucario continued predicting.

"No..." Ethan repeated.

"Then...?" Lucario kept prying as Ethan finally looked back at him, obviously about to admit something he never had any intention of telling anyone.

"... I missed my Pokémon!" Ethan shouted, but for some reason it did not harm Lucario's ears. This being part of a dream had something to do with it, he figured.

"I was a goddamn idiot who traded his friends for a new start at life!" Ethan continued rambling as he grit his teeth, "The ones I had been with since they hatched, like Misdreavus... The ones that had been with me since I was a kid, like Chica... I couldn't stop thinking about them! It haunted me every second of my life!"

"You could've just gone to see them," Lucario said, finding it very strange to be seeing the world from a trainer's viewpoint for once.

"Don't you think I wanted to!? Don't you think..." Ethan burst out as he grabbed a hold of Lucario's head... Or at least tried to, his hands not even bending a single hair on the Pokémon's poorly groomed face. He let go and sunk down in his seat.

"I was... Ashamed," Ethan whispered, realizing his role was merely to talk and never again act, "I couldn't find the life or peace I abandoned my ambitions for. What the hell was I going to say...? Hey, remember me? Former champion, current drifter? Spare some change?"

"You..." Lucario muttered as he suddenly gave off a disgusted expression, "... We begged for cash?"

"Hell no! We were loaded after winning so much!" Ethan exclaimed before raising his voice further, "That's not the point! The point is that I was supposed to be the one who found a new life... But everyone moved on but me! I couldn't stop thinking about my former life... The friends I gave up... And... And..."

Ethan suddenly fell quiet, showing a bemused expression. He clenched his fists and stood up on the makeshift barstool.

"... Wait, that's not the point either! I don't exist anymore!" he yelled while pointing down at the drooping Lucario, "This is about you, Lucario! Don't make the same mistake I did!"

"... So, don't make the same mistake that I already made in a former life and completely forgot about..." Lucario said with a hint of amusement, "... Why worry?"

"Don't kid yourself thinking you're better off being lazy!" Ethan kept going as he leaped off the crate and smiled, "The traveling, the fighting, the constantly rising challenge... It's not easy, but you love it! I went nine years without directing a Pokémon, but the second I teamed up with Mew, a fire lit up inside me!"

A similar fire suddenly lit up inside Lucario as well, his eyes shooting wide open as he lifted his head.

"Oh! Wait!" he exclaimed hopefully, "You mean... The reason why Mew was so important to me... Is because of that? I somehow remembered something that happened to you two?"

The smile was beginning to diminish as Ethan crossed his arms, thinking to himself for a few seconds.

"Don't count on it," the former trainer said quietly, "You didn't even remember a single thing about Chica. Compared to her and the rest, Mew was nothing..."

Lucario exhaled as he fell back on the crate, relishing in the familiar sensation of having gotten excited over something, even if only for a moment. He was not sure what other name Ethan had said, since right now his mind was entirely on Mew again. As a result of that, Ethan's presence in the room seemed to drift away.

"Time's up for old times, I guess," Ethan said reluctantly as his voice steadily became weaker, "Which reminds me, say hi to Celebi for me... Ask her to make you that thing she made me... Tasted really good..."

Ethan's disappearance went unnoticed by Lucario, who was now focusing on a new desire roaring in chest. It was true - He had been acting lazy. For too long had he been sitting on his ass, not doing anything to improve his situation in life. No one was going to come help him, he would have to take matters into his own hands. He was not about to surrender to such a menial task. Today was a day of change.

Taking hold of the large mirror, Lucario mustered up all his powers and carried it outside the cave where he leaned it up against one of the walls.

And so, the deed was done. Somehow he always knew there was still immeasurable willpower resting within him. With this, he would no longer be bugged by restless phantoms of guilt. Feeling proud over his long day of hard work, he went back inside and cracked open another beer.

Who am I? What can I be?