Dear Amber
I really have nothing to say to be honest. I got bored put this up on here. So feel free to rip it apart, rate it, comment, if you feel it is necessary. Cheers
Dear Amber,
If you are reading this then I have probably passed away. I only hope you read this in its entirety rather than ignore it like all my other letters. I understand you hate me for what I've done throughout your life but please allow me to explain my actions to you.
When you were born, when I saw those beautiful blue eyes of yours and your luxurious red fur for the first time, I knew my world was going to change. I remember those first few years, some of the toughest years of my life... and some of the best and happiest. I was a father for the first time, a responsibility that I couldn't have imagined before, but goddammit I had you to take care of and that was enough of a reward for me. Every time I saw those big blue eyes of yours it made everything worth while.
As you grew older and excelled at whatever was put in front of you I began to work harder to pay for your lessons of which there was too many to count. It was also around this time that my marriage to your mother was being torn apart. I was working too many hours to really enjoy the life because I had to pay for what was best for you, your mother got sick of my overtime left taking you in the divorce. It seemed as though you didn't care either and frankly I don't blame you, I never showed up to your soccer games, your science fairs, your concerts, etc.... It hurt seeing you walk away without so much as a second glance with those big beautiful blue eyes of yours.
After that day I decided to try my best to be the best father I could and although to many it would be too late, I tried anyway. I made sure you did well in school, I worked hard to get a promotion so I could provide more for you. I remember the phone conversations I tried to have with you just to see if everything's alright, what you wanted for your birthday, etc. I just tried my best to make it up to you and prove my worth. Eventually, you gave me a second chance after a while and for that I am always thankful.
Maybe it was how hard I worked or how hard I tried to reconcile my failure and try to rebuild from it, I do not know but the summer you graduated you decided to come visit me, much to my joy. When you arrived, I saw how old you were and it finally hit me how much I had missed and although I didn't show it I was determined to make it all back up to you.
Those three months, my god, I still miss them. I still remember them well. From the camping trips we had, to just staring up at the stars some nights, to just talking about life in others. Just seeing your face light up, those blue eyes of yours bringing in a youthful spark which, I doubt would ever fade, made it seem worthwhile But, I assume you want to focus on the last 3 weeks. Those memories shall never disappear, I remember the first night we became partners. I was simply laying in my bed running through the days events and you came in beautiful as ever. You sat beside me with that gorgeous fur of yours reflecting light of the moon. We talked like we always did but it somehow reached a deeper level than before for reasons that, to this day, I can't quite understand. That first kiss you gave me though, it was like lightning, it was something I wanted more of and of course you provided. Those three weeks hold many of the best moments of my life.
It was around the beginning of the 3rd week I realized something. When you told me you 'wanted to move in with me' and 'that I'm the only guy you'll ever need', it clicked in my head. I don't want you to live with me, I don't want you to end up like me, using up your life to reconcile every failure you've ever had just to make things right but, most of all, I didn't want you to choose something you will regret. I wanted you to do something with your life, find love, be happy. It was then I began thinking of breaking it off, I knew you would hate me and I myself even had debates, I tossed and turned throughout the week debating whether it was right thing to do. Eventually I decided and in our final nights together I broke it off. I remember you crying with those big blue eyes and it killed me to see that, to break your heart, but I had too. I may have been your partner but, I am first and foremost your father and as such I only decided to do what I think is best for you... even though I wanted something else.
You left during the night and we rarely talked after that. I still question whether it was the right thing to do but then, I look at a picture of you and your family now and it seems that for just that moment, it was.
With love always, Your Father