Letting Go 2: Sasha’s Story
I'm re-posting this cause for some reason it's not showing up.
Letting Go: Sasha's Story
Sorry this took so long to come around. Sasha wanted me to write this a long time ago but something always came up. A sharp claw on my throat was more than enough to persuade me otherwise. This is Sasha's story. I apologize for the way it is written. I have only studied the language of the panther for a few years and I am still not fluent in it. This is the best I could do.
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I lay awake wondering where my next meal will come from, or for that matter when it will come.
I curl up into a ball and try to sleep. An itch keeps me awake so I reach down to bite and nibble at my leg until the itch is gone. Placing my head back on my paws, I close my eyes and try to sleep.
My name is Sasha and I am a black panther. Where did I get that name? Who named me? I don't know. I've had that name as long as I can remember.
I get up and begin to wander around. Something tells me I'm not going to get much sleep. I might as well go hunting. It's a bit early for breakfast but what else is there to do. I roamed my territory for trespassers and food. I knew other predators wouldn't enter my territory because I could cunningly defend it after all I had been doing it for a while now. That led to the other reason why I knew no one else would be here.
I was smart... too smart. I was beyond the instinctual life all other creatures lived by. Sure they were smart but I was intelligent. They fought, I schemed. They stalked and chased their prey. I lured and ambushed my prey. The bottom line was that I was smart and they hated me for it. For as long as I can remember I've been on my own. No other intelligent creature around. The only intelligent creature around would kill me on sight. So I've resigned myself to a lonely life.
A faint buzzing sound appeared behind me. Turning around I couldn't see anything. The sound was getting louder by the second.
I don't scare easily but this had me on the edge. I could barely contain my instinct to run. The only thing that kept me here this long was my curiosity as to what the noise was. The humming suddenly stopped. All I could hear now was a strange whistling sound. This did scare me. I turned and ran off into the jungle trying to outrun the sound.
Behind me came a crashing sound as if some large creature was just barreling through the trees after me. I didn't look back but ran faster. All sorts of creatures from my nightmares raced through my mind, each one taking shape and crashed through the trees behind me.
I ran faster than I thought possible when first branches then trees started crashing around me. It was when a tree crashed in front of me that I finally turned around. The last thing I saw was a big white round thing coming right at me. Then everything went black as I felt it hit me...
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It was some time later when I woke up. Slowly I got up and staggered over trying to remember what happened. I shook my head as images of a large white object coming right at me flashed through my mind.
I jerked my head back around and immediately saw a long white object lying behind me. Slowly I turned around never once taking my eyes off of it. It had a strange smell coming from it but it wasn't moving. Making my way over and slowly circle it. The one end of it was right on the edge of some thick brush.
Slowly I make my way through the brush to a clearing I remembered running through right before that thing hit me. Poking my head through the edge I saw something that made my mind shut down.
It was sometime later when I woke up again. My head snapped around to the sight that caused me to pass out. The smell of blood was strong, intermingled within that smell was a familiar scent. MY scent.
Also there was the scent of a... human.
I backed away. It couldn't be. It's impossible. There's no way. I wasn't watching where I was going and fell over something. Scrambling to my feet I turned to see a creature with strange blue skin lying half under a bush.
I just stood there and stared at it for a little bit waiting to see if it would move. When it was apparent that it wasn't going to move, I stepped closer to it. The first thing that caught my attention was the scent of blood. It was strong
But also there was the scent of human. This was a human but the scent was... I don't know. Somehow familiar. I shook my head and turned. It couldn't be.
Turning I moved back to the clearing. It took a second but I could smell it through the blood. What could this mean? It's impossible because each scent was unique, yet I could smell it here, on this.
I made my way back over to the human I had tripped over sat down. 'Who are you? What are you doing here? If only you could...' I jumped when it moved and let out a groan. My first instinct was to kill it but as I said before, I'm smart. My mind kicked into high gear.
'It's obvious you're hurt bad. I wish I could help you get better to show you I don't mean you any harm. I wish I could talk to you. maybe you're smarter than the others.'
Turning back to the jungle, 'Maybe I wouldn't be so lonely." Standing up I again looked back down at the human. 'But that won't happen unless you survive. And you won't survive unless you get help. Help that right now only...'
I rushed over and tore at the brush that surrounded the human. Once I had it cleared, I studied the human. It can't stay here. I needed to move it but how? 'Maybe, just maybe if I...' Putting actins to my words I reached down to grab it where its head meets its body hoping its skin was as tough as mine.
What I came up with was a mouth full of strange skin. Prodding this skin it appeared to be not attached to the human. Carefully I pushed at this skin to make sure it wasn't attached. Carefully I grabbed hold of the strange skin and pulled. Humans are sure heavy. It took all my strength to pull it over to a large clear area near its white thing away from the scents of blood, human and panther that came from the bushes. Away from the two...
The human groaned and turned its head to the side. I stopped dragging it and looked around. The long white thing had... branches coming from its sides. One really big branch was right above me. Maybe I could leave it here so the falling water doesn't get it. Then maybe it could heal. If it too damaged and no other creatures get it then maybe I could communicate with it.
With those thoughts running through my head, I laid down beside my human to take up watch and to wait for it to wake up. I smiled to myself... 'my human...' What a thought. Rolling that thought around in my head I eventually fell asleep.
I felt movement beside me and I was instantly awake. It seems that my human was finally able to move. It moved one of its front legs over and laid it on top of me. Slowly I stood up so I wouldn't disturb it. It seemed to be resting so I quietly walked away to pass water and catch something to eat.
I was gone for only a little bit when I again saw my human. It had moved some while I was gone but only to roll onto its side. I walked up to it and pushed its head with my nose to see if it was awake. When it didn't respond I checked to make sure it was still alive before I curled up beside it to wait. The day was so warm and peaceful that I soon fell asleep.
I awoke sometime later to feel something wrapped around me. Surprisingly I didn't panic. Whatever was wrapped around me felt as if it belonged there. I mean that it made me feel... I don't know. Safe, secure, wanted.
Slowly I looked down and saw the human had wrapped his front leg... No that wasn't right. Humans walked upright so it would be his... upper leg?
My moving must have disturbed it because I could feel it moving. It was a good sign that it was moving, that meant that it might be getting better. When it cried out in pain I jumped up and faced it thinking I had hurt it somehow.
I could see the fear in its eyes. I didn't want it to be scared of me. I had to make friends with it somehow. I needed to show it that I wasn't going to hurt it and that I only wanted to help. I walked up to it, licking its neck and face hoping it would understand.
That's when I thought I should have checked it out to see how badly it was hurt before I got my hopes up to high that it would recover. As gently as I could I began to push on different parts of its body to see if there was anything wrong with it. The problem was that I didn't know how to tell if there was something wrong in the first place.
I noticed its leg was bent wrong. Maybe if I straightened it out it might heal. In the past when I saw animals with their legs bent like that, they couldn't walk and usually ended up being my dinner because of it. I didn't want it to become someone else's dinner.
As gently as I could, I took hold of its paw and then gave a hard pull to straighten it out. The human gave a scream of pain then fell asleep again. Looking down at its leg I notice that it is now straight like the other one. I didn't want to cause it anymore hurt so I waited. As time passed I got tired of just sitting there so I laid down placing my front paws on it then rested my head on my paws to wait for it to wake up.
It was a little while later when it again moved. I raised my head to watch it and saw its eyes slowly open then open wider when it saw me. Again they filled with fear. I stood up and nuzzled the side of its head to try to show it that I meant it no harm. Then again I licked its neck and head. Setting myself down I waited to see what it would do.
It tried to get up but I just knew if it did it would only hurt itself more. Placing my paw on its... chest I think that part was called, I pushed it back down. I would get it everything it needed until it was better. While I was trying to help it heal I would also be trying to communicate with it. I told it that I would get its water and food until it was better. I don't know but it might have understood because it didn't try to get up again.
I turned and ran down to the water spot. There was water here but how do I get it to my human up there? I looked around for a bit before I noticed some leaves that looked like they could hold water in them. Stepping over to them I could smell something inside which didn't smell like water. Tipping one over, I spilled the liquid out of one and saw that it was full of dead crawly and flying things. I didn't think it ate those things so I took the leaf down to the water. I filled it full of water and dumped it out a couple of times to push the things out.
When I was sure all the crawly things were out, I filled it full of clean water. As carefully as I could, I took it back to my human holding it by its top to try and stop all the water from jumping out of it.
My human was still where I left him. Maybe he did understand me after all. Maybe this would be easier than I thought. Walking up to him I gently pushed the leaf into his paw and waited for him to take it. Maybe there was something wrong with his paw because he didn't take it right away. I pushed the leaf against its paw again and he finally took it.
He just held it for a bit before I pushed his paw up towards his face and watched as he tried to lift his front... top of his body up. Maybe he needed to do this to drink. I jumped to help him when I heard him hiss in pain. Running behind him I helped push him up and then as an afterthought, I sat down behind him and let him lean against me so he wouldn't fall over.
I watched him slowly bring the leaf up to his muzzle and smell it. He must have realized that it was water because I watched him drink it all down before he set the leaf down. Then slowly he lay back down then I believe he found a position that was comfortable for him. I decided that I would again show him I meant no harm by putting myself into a position that would make me vulnerable to him if he wanted to hurt me.
I lay down in front of him, close enough to show him I didn't mean any harm. I just hoped he would realize that by doing this I was making myself vulnerable to him. I flinched as he placed his paw over me. When he didn't do anything else I allowed myself to relax. Soon his slow and even breathing told me that he was asleep. I soon followed.
When the new light came I felt my human move his paw and move away from me. Standing up I turned around facing him. Slowly so I didn't scare him I nuzzled him and licked his neck and muzzle again.
He reached his paw up and touched my head. I stiffened up waiting to see what he would do next. I quickly found out as he flexed his paws and this wonderful sensation washed over me. It kinda felt like he was trying to scratch an itch that I didn't have, only better. I unknowingly leaned my head into his paw and began to purr it felt so good. I could get used to this I thought.
Then came the shock. He began to try to communicate with me by making these strange sounds. What really surprised me was that I kinda understood what he was trying to say. I say kinda because although I could understand the sounds, I didn't fully understand the words.
"Why are you trying to --- me?" it said. "You don't look like someone's ---. But why haven't you --- me apart? You're --- too nice."
I think it understood that I meant it no harm. My ears flicked back and forth as I tried to figure out what the unfamiliar words meant. I figured that 'help' must be the same as assist and to 'rip me apart' meant to hurt. I still didn't understand this 'pet' thing. Could it mean food... because, I'm definitely nobody's food. Or maybe it meant mate. I nuzzled the side of his head, turned and walked off. He's right, I don't have a mate. My head hung lower as I figured that I probably never would have one either.
I found myself down by the stream before I realized it. Shaking my head I looked around. I hope he don't think I just left him. Grabbing another leaf I again filled it with clean water and started back.
On the way back I thought about him. When did I start referring to my human as him? The tone of his voice must have made me do it, indeed it sounded male to me. My human, my male human even. I just hope that male humans weren't overly dominant. I don't know how I would handle that.
Arriving back to my human, I didn't have to make him understand what I wanted. He took the leaf and drank the water down. Good, now food was the next thing on my list for him.
I left to hunt for us then made short work of my meal and then found something for my human. I just hoped he would be able to eat it. Picking it up, I headed back to my human.
Setting it down in front of him and waited for him to pick it up. When he didn't move, I pushed it closer to show him it was his. He hesitantly reached out, picking it up and just held it for a bit before he moved. He pulled out this small thing and proceeded to tear apart his food into little pieces. Then he placed the pieces on a leaf that lay beside him and began to pull himself over to the side of the white thing.
It took a long time but soon he was beside it. He tried to reach up and touch something on the side of the white thing. I jumped up and leaned on the side of it. He started talking again and gesturing with his paws. I think he was trying to tell me what he wanted me to do although I didn't understand most of what he was saying.
Suddenly my paw hit something on it that moved causing me to slip off of it. The tone of his voice was encouraging so I jumped back up and pawed at the part that moved some more. It moved again but this time it was accompanied by several loud noises before a piece of it moved.
I jumped back afraid I had hurt something and he would be mad at me. I crouched there waiting for the worst to happen. The strange noise that he was making scared me even more. I watched as he reached up grabbing the broken piece and pull it away from the rest of the white thing. He turned back to me and held his paw out to me.
He kept saying that he wouldn't hurt me. That he had to cook the meat before he ate it or he would get sick, whatever 'cook' was. I assumed that meat meant the food I had gotten him since he pointed to it when he said it. But whatever 'sick' was, he didn't want that. I didn't think I wanted it either.
I slowly moved over to him. Trust had to start somewhere and he appeared to trust me, now I needed to trust him. The white thing was another matter though. But when he did that thing with his paws I forgot all about the white thing.
Soon he turned and climbed into the hole that had opened in the side of the white thing. I heard noises as if he was moving things inside and overcame my fear enough to look inside. I watched him crawl over carrying something which he set down once he was outside again.
I jumped when fire suddenly appeared in his paw. I was scared. What am I gonna do? He is gonna burn and die on me. I began to panic wondering what I could do to help him. My attention was drawn back to my human when he moved the fire over to the object that he brought out. When that was burning he somehow put the fire in his paw out. Then he reached over for his food.
He began to burn the food in the fire. I mean he held the food over the fire and watched it burn. After a bit I watched him take the burnt food out and begin to eat it. Every so often the smell of the burnt food would drift my way. I know it may sound strange but the smell of the burnt food began to make my mouth water.
He held a piece of the burnt food out to me. Could he actually want me to have it? Could he want to share his food with me?
Slowly I walked over to him and sniffed the burnt food. The smell was not that good but strangely it made my mouth water more. Not wanting to upset him I reached out with my tongue and tasted the juice that was dripping down his paw. I was surprised, for burnt food it actually tasted really good. As gently as I could, because I didn't want to hurt or frighten him, I took the piece from his paw. Slowly I chewed it and savored the flavor before I leaned back in and licked the remaining juices from his paw.
Reaching out he did that thing with his paw and I couldn't help but purr as I leaned into it. When he stopped I gave a sigh of frustration. He turned and again climbed into the white thing. I could hear him moving around inside before I heard him hiss in pain as if he was being attacked... attacked... SHIT.
I jumped into the opening searching for his attacker. I didn't see anything but I wasn't about to let my guard down until I was sure he was safe. Hearing him call out I turned and saw him with his paw outstretched wiggling the tips. I knew what that meant and if he was calm enough to do that then it must be safe in here.
I laid my head on him and felt his paws scratch and rub behind my ears. I don't know how he did it but he could make me feel so calm and relaxed when he did that. I could just stay like this all day.
I stepped back and watched as he ran his paws over different parts of his body. When he reached his leg I heard him hiss in pain. My ears automatically flattened back against my head when he did that. He reached into an object that sat beside him and pulled out several smaller objects.
Picking up one of these smaller objects I watched as he unrolled it. He ran it down one side of his leg, under his paw and up the other side. While he held it in place, he grabbed another object and wrapped this one, which looked kinda like a rolled up fur, around the first object. This new fur thing held the other object in place.
Then he switched to his other back... lower leg and began to fix that one too. I grew bored watching and began to explore my surroundings. Turning, I slowly made my way around the inside of the object.
Many different smells assaulted my senses. Not all of them were pleasant, in fact one of them was downright nasty. I could tolerate all of the other smells because of one smell that was present. One scent stood out above the others, one scent calmed me down when I was nervous. One scent soothed me more than any I have ever known. It was his...
His smell was everywhere. Everywhere I checked had at least a trace of his smell to it. As I was checking out one particular area I bumped a small object, knocking it over. A cloud of white dust came out causing me to sneeze several times.
I him making that sound again and it kinda startled me causing me to back away. I realized he didn't mean anything by it so I continued to look around for a bit longer. Once I was satisfied there were no other threats to us, I went back over to him and lay my head on him hoping for some more rubbing behind my ears.
I watched as he cleared an area out and laid a large object in the open space. The thing was flat but looked soft. He then lay down on it and with a final glance around I curled up beside him. He wrapped his paw around me and soon fell asleep. It wasn't long afterwards I followed and was asleep.
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We got into a routine I actually enjoyed. I would bring him food and water while he slowly healed. It made me feel needed and I liked that feeling. It was a good feeling. He used the word "Sasha" a lot, and the way he said it made me think he knew what my name was and this was what it sounded like in his tongue. I actually liked how it sounded when he said it.
I watched him move various things around in the "Airplane" he called it. Afterwards he would come outside all upset. It would take me a while to calm him down and afterwards he would just stare up into the trees.
Day after day I watched as he healed and began to wonder what he would do when he was all better. Would he stay or would he get back into his "Airplane" and leave me. Could I get him to stay here with me? If not, would I be able to go with him? The real question then would be, could I actually leave my home and go with him.
I watched him moving around the clearing and thought to myself that he was the first friend I ever had. He might not be a panther like me but he didn't seem to care. The other animals never even looked at me let alone talked to me.
It didn't take me long to decide that if he wanted to leave, I would go with him. The only question I had was could I get into that white "Airplane" thing of his and go. The last thought that sealed my decision was in the bushes at the front of the "Airplane." Because of that I knew he would never leave me. We were going to be together for a long time.
I did what I could to keep him away from the front of the "Airplane." I knew that sooner or later he would see it. At night I would curl up next to him and he would wrap his paws around me and sleep. Later he would wake up shaking with a look of fear in his eyes. Since he never left my side I would assume he had one of those sleep pictures. I would nuzzle him , letting him know that everything was alright and that I was there. He would then wrap his paws around me and bury his head in my fur. Soon he would calm down and fall asleep. I would then curl up and lay my head on him. As I would fall asleep I would feel his paws wrap around me and hold me tight.
Everything was going good. He was healing and moving around more and more. Then one day it happened...
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I had left to go hunt for food and was on my way back when I saw him. He was just rounding the front of the airplane. I dropped what I was carrying and yelled for him to stop as I ran up. I tried to push him back but it was too late. His eyes grew wide when he saw what was up there. Turning he looked down at me then back. He stepped around me and closer to the two forms lying dead on the ground.
I watched as he looked from the human to the panther the human had its paws around. I slowly made my way over to my human and looked up at him. He just stared and didn't move at all. Reaching up I nuzzled his paw hoping he was alright. He didn't move at all. I nuzzled his hand more urgently. I needed to know he was alright.
I felt his hand twitch then slowly his fingers curled...