That's Perry Unprofessional(M/Solo) - 2012
Agent P has a hard busy life fighting evil. He doesn't get much time alone and certainly doesn't have much time for romance. He'll have to take his love life in hand and work it out sooner or later, though. Some things can't be ignored forever.
That's Perry Unprofessional by tannim February 25, 2012
"It's so humid outside, isn't it Major Monogram?"
"Yes, Carl, you've said that every day this month so far."
"Did Agent P look preoccupied to you sir?"
"A bit, I suppose. Maybe he doesn't like the heat either or maybe my new mustache really impressed him."
"Err... yes... about that, sir... Ummm, Do you really think a Fu Man Chu REALLY fits you?"
"Nobody asked YOU, Carl. My wife really digs it!"
Perry panted hard. It wasn't because of the fight with Doofenschmirtz. Damn September Heat! He didn't like the heat. Breeding season was a terrible thing for a suave secret-ish agent. Less well to do Platypi could just crank it out but no... he was too professional to work that natural instinct out for himself.
The frustration that came with it had grown terribly. He could smell everyone in the Flynn-Fletcher household. Normally it was soothing, when in heat, it was unbearable. The masculine scents made him angry and hostile. The feminine musk made him eager for loving. That last was particularly driving him insane.
Perry looked down at the stiff member jutting up between his legs, then at the boys' doorway. There was no way he could go in THERE with THAT. He chattered quietly and looked around for a place to hide until it went away. Candace's panic room was too dangerous, she was unpredictable at the best of times. The kitchen was a no no for a proper mammal, semi-aquatic or otherwise. That left the living room, garage, and bathroom. Only one real choice.
He hid behind some boxes in the garage. Nobody came out there at night. It was ideal, or as idea as a stiflingly hot humid room with very little light, no pillows or carpet, stinking of car and old junk could be.
Perry tapped his fingers impatiently on the box next to him. How long would it be until that unwelcome erection went down THIS time. He tapped harder and let out another chatter. The box tore open and spilled Mr. Fletcher's collection of antique's magazines onto his feet. Well it was something.
Even reading that, with an agency emergency light, didn't help. He glared at it. It'd taken longer and longer to go away. Soon it wouldn't at all. He couldn't have that! Going into a battle in such a state would be... unprofessional. Unprofessional AND humiliating. More humiliating than working it out himself, though?
The platypus clenched his bill and reached for it. His wide beaver tail like tail swung between his legs in front of him without even thinking. It knew what he both needed and wanted. His old friend from where there were no females and no agency. Oh it knew. Perry hung his head, his tail pushed his other head up higher. They both knew.
Leaning back he grabbed his wide tail on both sides with both hands to make a crease down the middle. His dick pressed right into that valley and his hips thrust forward to drive along it. His tail was dry, making it uncomfortable, but even that last ditch effort to stop himself didn't work. Precum drooled from his tip at the first touch. Several sore thrusts didn't make him go limp and by then, his slick pre had made it plenty slick to feel good instead.
Perry rolled his eyes, then sighed and gave in fully. He could feel sorry for the degrading act later, until then, his hips thrust rhythmically time and time again into his tail. It felt sort of like a female platypus, or even a friendly male, and that made him chatter loudly. His eyes snapped open when he realized how loudly. Hopefully nobody heard it.
Agent P climbed down onto all fours over the magazines to work himself when nobody came in. It was an embarrassing and awkward position, but it gave him leverage to hump himself rapidly. Oh so rapidly with still dribbling pre making it wetter and louder as he worked until the squishing noise of dig dragging on wet tail sounded like a roar in the silence to his ears.
Despite the dire need, he forced his hips to stop and uncurl. That pleasurable method was just too loud. He glared at his dick. It would have to be the silly human method or nothing given the circumstances. The platypus leaned back and grasped his shaft instead of his tail. Silly it may look, but it was a lot quieter and only slightly less pleasant.
Perry closed his eyes and tried to picture something pleasant. A female platypus slowly formed while his hand pumped up and down. She lifted her tail, his hand pumped faster. She turned her head. His eyes jerked open and his hand stopped. Dr. Doofenshmirtz's face was NOT something he wanted to see on his fantasy lover!
The platypus's gaze fell to a magazine instead. If even his imagination was out to make things harder, he'd have to block it. A photo of a bronze cat sculpture with it's paws up caught his eye and he stared at that instead of relying purely on his imagination. Perry liked its muzzle shape, anyway, and soon was back in that pleasant rhythm of working his hand and squeezing his dick without unwanted intrusion from his wandering thoughts.
Perry grunted quietly while his fingers and palm slid along his shaft. His pre wet his fingers while he looked and even with the embarrassment of giving into his urges, he couldn't help but smile. It did feel good, it just wasn't very professional.
His thighs clenched in time to the pleasure from his efforts. Every few jerks they squeezed together again to shift his balls in his tight pouch, he didn't know why, they just did. The tingle of lust kept him from even thinking about it. The urge to at last spill his seed was all that he cared about and Perry could feel it was close to happening.
His thumb rubbed over his glans when there was a noise from the door. He couldn't stop even as Candace stumbled past while sleep busting. She stopped and stared at him in her dreamy state, then giggled when the Zebra masturbating next to him waved and asked Kevin if she'd like to join them.
Perry came an instant later, squirting his seed over the boxes and Candace's left foot. She didn't seem to notice and even crouched down watching the door of the garage by the secret agent's emergency light. Her delusional zebra gave the Platypus a thumbs up and sprayed over her with his own heavy load before vanishing.
Agent P's hand was trembling by the time his final orgasmic spurt hit the magazines under him. The shock of seeing Candace and the embarrassment at giving in had left him a nervous wreck. That she was still there just a few feet away from him didn't help any. His hat slipped from his hand when he pulled it off and he had to fumble around for it before stowing it away in that special secret pocket on the top of his tail.
His afterglow was shattered from nerves, but his body did feel more relaxed than it had for more than a week. He crawled over the mess of boxes, too distracted to even think about cleaning up the mess he'd made on the magazines on his way to deal with the evidence he'd left on Candace. Perry looked up at her, then at the three globs on her foot. A quick lick and he found himself tasting his seed as well as avoiding looking up at an angry Candace glaring down at him.
"Eww, why are you licking my FOOT? Hey, how did I get out here and eww, why do I smell of sweat and shame?!" She picked him up and carried him back into the house. "I bet this is somehow your fault!"