Transformation
So, I don't really have much of an explanation for where this one came from, but it popped into my head and I just had to write it down. I know it was inspired by a recent character design done by Jay Naylor, because it was shortly after I saw that when this formed. It's really short, and not porn in the least, but I hope it can be seen as helpful or inspirational or something by anyone who may be going through something similar.
A coming out story of a transsexual girl.
Wait, there are no Transsexual or Transgender tags? That seems like a problem. :-/ I am disappoint.
I always knew I was a little different growing up. As a kid, I never really liked the things I was supposed to like. I didn't like rolling around in the dirt, or rough housing with other boys or anything like that. I wanted play with dolls and have tea parties and wear bows in my hair. It wasn't the sort of thing boys were supposed to be into, but it was what I liked, and I was too young then to know the difference. I just wanted to play with what I thought was fun. My parents used to try and get me to be 'normal'. "Are you sure you want the doll? Wouldn't you rather play with this toy truck?" My answer was usually the same, and after a while I guess my parents just gave up asking.
Growing up was tough, to be sure. Complete strangers would tell me to do this, or not do that. They'd tell my parents they were raising me wrong, and there have even been arguments and fights over it. Fights over me. It didn't seem fair, but I couldn't help being who I was. I didn't even know who I was. I was just a kid. I started to understand when I hit puberty. That's when things started to feel wrong. My body was starting to develop into a man, and it scared me. It didn't feel right to have the physical features I was getting. It was like I was a stranger in my own body. It was a miserable time, really, and my parents didn't understand. "It's just a part of puberty. Your body is changing and you'll get used to it."
Well, I didn't want to get used to it. I didn't want to be a boy, it just felt wrong. I wanted to wear dresses and look pretty, and just be a girl. I was a girl stuck in a boy's body, and I hated it. It wasn't until I was thirteen that I finally told my parents how I really felt. It wasn't just puberty. I was in the wrong body. I told them, with tears in my eyes, that I should be a girl, and that being a boy felt wrong. I wanted to grow up into a beautiful woman, not a handsome man. They didn't take it as well as I had hoped.
I was hoping they would just accept me, like they always had. Instead, they assumed something was wrong with me. Something emotional or psychological. It hurt, but they made me go see a therapist. I thought things couldn't get any worse. But then the unexpected happened. My therapist actually believed me. He listened to what I had to say, and took me seriously. He told me that I wasn't alone, and that a lot of people are like me; born in the wrong body. It felt so good to be able to talk about it. He then helped me explain everything properly to my parents. He told them that I was a transgender, and that the best thing they could do for me was to accept that. It would be hard, but the truth was that their little boy was actually a little girl. "But he's so young." they argued, "How could he understand such things?". Well, it's easy to understand your own feelings and body.
I guess I was luckier than most, since my parents eventually came around. With my therapist's help, I was able to take special hormonal supplements, and I knew I had someone I could talk to about any of the changes my body was going through. It wasn't easy transitioning to being a girl though. Everyone at school, all my friends and teachers, they didn't understand. I was picked on, called a freak, made to feel like some kind of horrible being, just because I was doing something to make me feel right. I don't know how many times I came home crying, never wanting to go back to that school. If I didn't have my parents and therapist to help me, I don't know what I would have done. But nothing they did could stop the teasing, and we ended up having to move to another school. It was like a chance to start over again from the beginning, as the girl I always felt I should be.
Things still aren't easy, of course. Thanks to the hormones I look pretty much female. But between the legs tells a whole other story. I'm afraid to date, because I don't know how to explain it to people. If I tell them early on, will I scare them away? But if I wait too long then I'm lying to them, and they may get angry and leave anyway. I can't afford to get the surgery I need to make the full transition, and I admit I'm scared to even try. I've never had surgery before, and this kind of thing is life changing. For now, I'll just have to stay the way I am, and trust in myself. At least now, I know who that finally is.