FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Some fur was walking towards me! I jumped, and turned to view the fur fully.

It was a male wolf, all dark and lean. He startled too, then slowly relaxed.

"Hey," he said after a moment of staring. I was staring right back. Was he completely black? It was hard to tell under his scuffed and dirty clothes. Eyes were most of what I could see. His eyes were an intense, bright golden color as we stared at each other, blankly.

"You're alive!" I blurted.

He suddenly grinned, "Yup, of course. I am standing here you know, in the fur."

I just stared. A part of me overjoyed at meeting any fur. Some other part of me was cautious. The past few days had shaken my sense of security. I felt ready to run. Leave the car and gear to this guy, at least I'd have my life. Wolves had a fierce reputation, and I wasn't sure what to believe, especially today. Escaping sounded good.

Instead, I took a deep breath and let it out, rubbing down nape of my neck to settle the risen fur there. I was trying to build confidence.

I slowly began, "Have you seen anyone else?"

"No, not since yesterday. Just you," the intensity of his bright, golden eyes drilled at me.

I know I was looking at him the same way. I wanted to see every detail that showed life on another fur. From this distance I could see his breathing beneath a dirty shirt and his eyes watched me, not just stared into oblivion.

After a moment I stepped forward, "I'm Tyler. Tyler Evans." Was it okay to tell him my last name? Idiot, what could he do, track me down on the Internet? Even if he could, did I even care right now?

The black wolf took several steps forward, "I'm Shadow."

I leaned forward. All I wanted to do was to touch anyone, this scary wolf included. I had to touch some fur, make sure they were alive. I might have hugged him in that moment.

"Shadow is your name?"

"Good as any, now," he shrugged. I realized his tail had been wagging furiously for a while. He tried to look behind me, "What you got there?"

I felt my tail slowly begin to sway as I lost my initial nervousness. "Um. I found a map inside. I got turned around and ended up here."

"Well, Tyler," said the wolf, edging closer, "let's find where you are." He watched me, as if thinking I might still bolt any time.

Now that he was up close and leaning over the hood with me studying the map, I could smell him. His wolfy, wild scent. More wild than the furs at my school. He smelled alive. My nose twitched in appreciation, a smile pulling at my lips. Life. I reached out and touched him just below his short sleeve as his arm moved over the map slowly.

He jumped and I quickly said, "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure. That you're real, you know, and, um, alive," I ended hesitantly.

The alarm faded from Shadow's eyes and he nodded, "I think I understand." He returned to the map, smiling.

My breath let out in relief. I didn't want to make the only fur I knew mad at me.

"Here. We're at West Chester Street and Cloverhollow. Where did you want to go?"

"Home. I need to get home," I said, sagging. Why did I feel defeated all of a sudden? I needed to go home. Because I belonged there. In this dead world, there was nowhere else. Even if there was no one else there.

"You know they're all dead, right?" he asked looking over at me, face staying carefully neutral.

"Yeah, I buried them last night." The excitement of being out was getting to be too much. I couldn't think. Just needed familiarity and safety. My house at least carried the illusion still. Getting lost had been the last straw.

"Ouch," he mumbled. "Don't know if I could have done that."

"I need to get here," I pointed to my neighborhood.

"Oh, you are a ways out. Why so far?" He glanced in the back at the junk food. "You could've gotten that stuff a lot closer to home. Things aren't that desperate."

"I needed space to, um, think," my gaze fell and my paws withdrew from the map. My large ears splayed in embarrassment.

"Hey, I understand. This shit is a problem to me, too," he said scratching his cheekfur. "I just haven't seen many people I even know yet. It's creepy though. I'm getting nightmares already."

"I need to get going, make sure I get there before dark," my voice sank. The one fur I knew in the entire world, but I had to leave. I wanted to kick myself for being so stupid, but I couldn't think straight. I numbly started to fold the map.

"Wait!" the bigger wolf said. "Please!" he suddenly looked desperate. His ears pinned back and his tail brushed the ground with low wags.

I realized he really wasn't much older than me. Probably pretty close actually. He looked a lot younger suddenly and the veneer of confidence vanished.

"Please! I know you don't know me. You don't know anything about me." He hesitated, "You're the only fur I've seen since this began. I won't do anything or take anything. Just please, please take me with you!"

I stood stunned. And thrilled, suddenly so very thrilled. "Really?" I asked hesitantly. "You would go with me?"

He nodded vigorously and grabbed my paw, "Please? I don't want to be alone out here. I don't think I can take being alone when..." his voice trailed off as he hopelessly searched for the word.

"That happens?" I filled. At his nod I smiled. "I don't think I can stand it any more either. That's what sent me out today." I gripped his paw firmly, and his tail picked up energy. I looked him in the eyes and said, "I found you, I don't want to be alone for... that, either."

I looked down at our joined paws my black-ended paws and his black-black limbs. You couldn't tell which was which as the fur and contours crossed. I felt more alive now than I had since the world had gone to hell.

He gave a wolfish grin, his confidence returning, seeming more genuine now. "Can I run and get my things? It won't take more than a few minutes. Just a block away. I don't have to if you want to leave now."

"No, it's okay. Go get your stuff. I'll wait. It's not like I have a date or something."

"Or an urgent meeting," Shadow bantered, letting go of my paw.

"Or a train to catch," I watched as he cautiously moved away, making sure I wasn't making any actual moves to leave. "Seriously. Don't leave without me!" And he bolted away.

I turned off the music and went back inside the gas station to poke around. They had microwave popcorn. Oh, that sounded so good right now. Curl up on the couch at home with some popcorn and a movie....

I shook my head, dislodging the image. It was too good. There was no way I'd get a nightlight to turn on, let alone a microwave. I settled with grabbing yesterday's donuts and cola. Yum, warm cola. I found a few more maps I'd missed. Even a world mini-map showing Furdom, Featherdom, and Findom. At the counter I grabbed batteries and a mirror dangler. I hoped that was okay. I thought if anything, this would count as a victimless crime.

I exited carefully, holding everything in my shirt. Not cool, but hey, was there anyone to care? Gas stations had no baskets and I wasn't about to poke behind the counter where the attendant was for a bag. At least this station didn't have a customer's body in it like the last one. The door closed slowly behind me.

Shadow was standing there in front of my car, rubbing a paw across his eyes. A beat-up backpack sagged next to his feet.

"Eh?" I said. "Are you ok?"

He whipped around, shock written all over his face and his agape muzzle. "Tyler?!" he lowered his paw. "I thought you'd gone," he choked back a sob and stepped towards me. "I realized I didn't know if this was actually your car."

"It is," I said sheepishly. "Doesn't look like much, right? The Frankenstein car. But, it's mine and for all it looks terrible, it runs like a dream. Patched together from forgotten cars, with a rebuilt engine."

This had given him time to regain himself. He managed a smile and dragged himself into the passenger seat, pulling his pack behind him. I noticed he was limping heavily, but I didn't want to say anything when things felt so unsteady between us.

I threw my loot into the back and pulled out the dangly. I grinned as I attached it to the mirror.

Shadow finished buckling in, "Dude, that's not funny."

"Yes it is. Isn't it cute? Say hi to the kitty," I said and gave it a good poke. The pink zombie kitten with a skull face swung merrily.

Shadow scowled. "I don't like zombies. Or many cats even."

"Zombie kitty says wolfies never like pink kitties," I gave him a smirk. "Zombie kitty says everyone needs to find something lighthearted in this world." I scrunched up my lips and made "woo-woo" noises. With more pokes, the kitty bounced and swung. I dared him with my blue eyes not to smile.

Shadow watched me, then finally gave a relaxed smile and gave the thing a poke too. "Fine. It is kind of cute." He snagged the map from the dash, "I'm navigating, so keep your eyes on the road, not on the kitty."

"Just watch my crazy driving skills."

"You have a license, right?" he asked, looking a bit unsure.

"I was going in to take the final test next week. Don't worry, we haven't held together this long for me to kill us with sloppy driving. I'm careful, it's just that the roads right now require, er, dodging skills."

"Ah," he nodded and opened the map. "Take a right up there then."

I turned the key, and it started without a hiccup. Shadow looked relieved.

"None of the cars I tried worked," he shrugged. "When I heard you drive up, I thought I'd really lost it. But I still went to see."

I nodded and pulled my sturdy junk-heap out into the still street.

***

We'd made it, not long before dark. It had taken a couple hours, but we'd made it. Despite a few wrong turns Shadow proved to be much more skilled with maps than I was. We actually had to get in one car to move it aside in a really crowded spot. We shifted the car to neutral, gave some steady pushing, and hopelessly tried to ignore the dead fur at the wheel. At least Shadow was there to help me. I didn't know if I would have made it back before full dark or even at all.

We hadn't talked much except about where we were going and what to avoid. The trip shouldn't have taken us nearly so long, but some streets were completely cluttered. I had to grit my teeth and roll over a few bodies. All I could think about was getting in the house and going to sleep. Wait, I'd had no food since breakfast, my mom would kill me. Well, my mom would have killed me.

I led the two of us into the house. Shadow seemed happy and stuck close to me, carrying his pack. Maybe too close, but at this point I think I needed the proximity too. I showed him around the house in the fading light and he made appreciative noises and words. His tail never stopped wagging.

Before it got completely dark, I filled one of the kiddy camp lights with batteries from the gas station and made scary faces with the shadows.

Shadow gave me a light punch in the shoulder, "Stop that. Don't try to freak me out." But he was grinning. Now that we both seemed assured neither was going to bail on this budding friendship, we could relax a bit.

I led the way into the kitchen and we ate bread with jerky and a cut up apple from the basket. I looked over at the fridge, but didn't want to open it. I was pretty sure it would be smelly by now. We ate by kiddy lamp.

"So what happens after this? What do we do?"

"We?" I asked. "It's cool with me to stick together, but are you okay with it?"

"Are you kidding me? You're like the only fur I know, and you're alright to be around. Yeah, I say whatever we do, we stick together."

I grinned in relief, "Good. You're welcome in my house any time."

"As it should be," he replied grandly. "My next decree, good Tyler, shall be 'early to bed, early to rise'."

"I should take a look at your leg first."

Shadow's grin faded and he shifted uncomfortably. "You noticed?"

"Hard not to," I finished eating. Shadow had already finished his, wolfing it down.

"I didn't want you to think badly of me or take me in just for my injury."

"Well I'm not, so let's go to the bathroom and take a look."

He grumbled, but followed me into the upstairs bathroom. He sat on the toilet and stretched his leg out with a wince. The backpack sagging next to the toilet.

"Where is it?" I asked, gathering things from the medicine cabinet and from the bathroom closet. The dim light of the kiddy lamp by Shadow made it harder to recognize what I was looking for.

He pointed to a spot just above the knee.

I looked to the side, "Um, you're going to have to take off your pants."

He just nodded and stripped down to his boxers. I tried to look at the area he pointed to. Even with the kiddy lamp held right over it, it was too hard to see.

"Can you hold on? I need to get a flashlight." I hesitated at the door. "I'm taking the light. Don't move okay?"

He nodded, eyes wide.

I slipped out to the garage. At least the nighttime had crickets to keep the silence away.

I got the flashlight out of my car and brought it inside. I found Shadow in the bathroom fidgeting and looking nervous.

"It's okay, I'll take a look and we'll see what we got," I reassured him. His eyes were wide, like a wounded feral. In a way he was, in a way we both were after the events of the last two days.

He eased a bit, but still seemed tense.

"Here, can you hold the light?"

He nodded. I could see a little shake in the light from the flashlight.

"What happened?" I asked as I removed dirty cloth rags that had just been thrown around it. I wanted to distract him, give him something else to focus on.

He hissed as I pulled them off gently, "I was in a stairwell that day, just before...."

I nodded, glancing up briefly, no need to clarify.

"These bastards ganged up on me, beat me up some. One had a knife and he sliced me a few times."

I looked up, "A few?" I stopped for a moment. "Where else?" my tone gave no room for argument.

He gestured silently to his shoulder, his chest, and his ankle on the same leg. He kept searching my eyes.

"We'll get to those in a moment," I sighed. I got the last of the cloth wrapping off. I could tell where the wound was, but it was hard to see with his dense fur. Shadow tensed when I pulled out the first aid clippers and dipped them in a cup of alcohol. I moved carefully, clipping the fur close to see the wound. He was quiet, watching the short-ended scissors. I clipped as evenly as I could.

The cut was inflamed, though there was no sign of infection. It was a bit deep in a few spots, but just bandaging should be enough.

I didn't want to say anything, but didn't he know how to do this himself? It seemed any guy his age would know by now. I just started to dab it gently with cleaning solution and bit my tongue. He looked edgy enough already, so I just prompted, "He cut you?"

"Yeah, after he and his friends knocked me around a while.... He - the knife guy - had the others hold me down and started to," he hesitated, "play with his knife."

I felt there was a part of the story I was missing, but didn't push the matter, just nodded. He hissed as the cleaning solution stung. "Sorry," I said.

Shadow just nodded. "Then there were noises outside. Screaming, shouting and all." He drew in a deep breath, calming himself. "The thugs let themselves out of the stairwell. The one with the knife wanted to stay and 'keep an eye' on me. The others just laughed and yelled at him to come 'check it out'. Like the world in a panic was complete amusement."

He winced as I removed some cloth fuzz, "I don't know what happened then. Just screams and the..." his voice trailed off and his ears sagged. "Afterwards, I was bleeding and bruised as well, so I just lay there a while. The lights were out, and it was dark and so still. I expected them to come back and... continue. When they didn't, I wanted to check outside the door. When I saw all the bodies and that awful silence, I couldn't take it and spent the rest of that day in the dark, just waiting."

I had finished cleaning it. It really didn't look too bad, but I was no doctor.

"How'd you learn to do all this so well?"

I paused, "My sister is- was a disaster waiting to happen. She'd always get bumps and scrapes. I sat with her a couple times when the doctor had to give her stitches." I shrugged, "After a few times, I picked up stuff from the nurses." I was quiet as I bandaged the cut with gauze and tape, including hefty dabs of anti-bacterial.

"Shirt?" I prompted Shadow and he carefully removed his shirt, baring his chest.

Damn. Even in the dim light. Seemed that every fur my age was better built than me. Well, it probably hardly mattered now.

We were both quiet while I clipped, cleaned, and bandaged his chest and shoulder cuts. I had one paw against him to steady myself while I tended his torso. I tried to ignore the feeling of life beneath my fingers. I could smell his unease this close, so I tried to be very careful. He still flinched a few times when it stung. I finished quickly. Shadow's shoulder and ankle only needed big band-aids on them. When I moved to his ankle cut he leaned back and relaxed a bit.

He must have been tired. I was wiped out from the day, and I wasn't injured, so it must be worse for him.

"You're all patched up, wolf," I stated, giving his shin a pat.

He perked up immediately. "Done?"

"Yeah, I gotta go to bed now. Too tired," I said as I gave a stretch and took the kiddy lamp out with me.

He looked uncertain again, following me with clothes, flashlight and his pack.

"So, do you want to take one of the beds or grab a sleeping bag and crash in my room? If you don't want that, you can always sleep on the couch."

"Sleeping bag, I guess," he slowly responded, looking as if he was asking permission.

After a nod, I pulled the one out of the upstairs closet Eric would often use. I passed it to Shadow and pulled out a spare pillow. I was honestly relieved, expressed by my swishing tail. I didn't want to fall asleep and wake to an empty world.

"Do you want to borrow some PJs or fresh boxers or anything?"

He shrugged and said, "Nah, I'm okay. I just need to crash."

We set up in my room. I slipped out of sight to change from my boxer briefs to loose boxers for the night. I returned in time to see Shadow sigh contentedly as he settled into the sleeping bag. The backpack rested nearby. My turn to settle in. I watched from my pillow as he nuzzled into the pillow and turned off the flashlight.

"Ah, this is good." I could hear him mumble into his pillow.

I grunted my approval into my own pillow, drawing my blanket up close. The early summer nights were still cool, but I needed the blanket more for the comforting weight and wrap.

"Tyler?"

"Hmmm?"

"What are we going to do now?"

"What do you mean?" I mumbled.

"I mean, we can't stay here like this. It's fine for now, but give it a few days and-"

"Please, let's not talk about this. Not tonight."

"Okay."

I lay in my bed, under my blanket in the familiarity that was no longer familiar. I realized that Eric must still be lying on the floor next to his chair. The food... well it definitely wouldn't be wholesome now.

"Tyler?" came a whisper.

"Mhmmm? I thought you'd be asleep by now."

"I thought you would be." There was a long pause as he shifted several times in the sleeping bag. "You don't think it'll come back tonight, do you?"

I was instantly worried. I tried to speak, but then trailed off. I gathered my thoughts and tried again, "Ah... maybe it only comes during the day?"

"But we don't know for sure?"

"I don't, do you?" I turned in the blankets and scooted over to the edge of the bed closest to him.

"No. Does that mean it can come any time? What if we're asleep?"

I gave an involuntary shudder. I gave it some thought. Maybe the best thing now would be to tell him it would only come in the daytime. Maybe I could convince myself too, if I talked it through. Otherwise, I'd become a nervous wreck, jumping at every shadow. I realized we had been silent for a while. I needed to say something.

"Um, well, it's happened twice right?"

I heard a faint grunt from below. It was so dark, I never realized how much light hung around when the lights were "off". I looked through the window and could see lots of stars. But I was too tired to pay attention to them now.

I cleared my throat and started again, "I think both times the sun must've been pretty high. Also, it really looked like something made of light... or using the light...." I trailed off, not knowing how to continue.

"You saw it?!" There was an abrupt sound from below.

"Yeah, didn't you?"

"No," the voice was closer. He had sat up in the darkness. "What did it look like?" he asked very softly, as if the... whatever it was... might be listening.

"Um, sort of like, hmmm. You know how a theater curtain drops down from a side and it comes down all in ripples? Straight up and down, and at the bottom maybe it looks like each round ripple drops down in a row?" My voice was hushed too. I could tell his head was pretty close. The proximity tickled my whiskers. There was no reason to speak any louder.

"I guess?"

"It was like that but transparent. Well, not all the way transparent, but things behind it looked distorted and fuzzy, kind of dim. Seemed it would drop across in one layer, then add another layer in front of that, moving forward. That's as close as I think I can describe it."

"I was tucked away in that stairwell both times. It was pitch black in there, the air kept getting stuffy, too. I'd hold the door open sometimes to get some air. I didn't even know it had come back the second time. The door was closed and it just... came."

"Anyway, I think that it might only be a daytime thing," I was really trying to reassure myself this time.

"Yeah," he also sounded overly certain. I was sure he was doing the same as I was.

I heard Shadow lay back down and settle into the sleeping bag. His breathing evened out as he tried to relax.

"Goodnight," I said with a smile.

" 'Night," came his muffled reply.

***

I slept unevenly, rousing often during the night. I don't know how many times.

A few times I woke up confused and frightened, thinking I sensed the... curtain... coming. Those times, I reached down over the side of the bed, until I reached Shadow. Just a brief, soft touch to make sure I wasn't alone.

***

>>>>[[[[NOTE: DAY 3]]]]<<<<

I groaned and my eyes snapped open, the sun had risen. My room was on the East side of the house, so the morning sunlight came in. On my face. Today I was thankful. I didn't want to be asleep if anything happened.

I peered sleepily down at Shadow. Now that it was light I could see him more clearly than before. Before in the city, underlying panic had kept me from concentrating on him well. Afterwards, at the house, I'd only seen him him poor light.

He was a good looking fur, probably would have been among the most popular males in any school. Even if he was a wolf. He appeared to be pitch black, maybe lightening slightly down his throat. I couldn't be sure with the sleeping bag pulled up. Natural coloring patterns of canine furs would probably mean he might have lighter fur down his front, ending beneath his hips. Who knows.

His ears were well proportioned, and filled with dark guard hairs. The fur on the rest of his body looked dense and deep, although it was hard to tell. He was pretty dirty and his coat looked unkempt. If it was fluffed up, would I be able to see my fingers if I dug my paws into it? Some of his fur looked pretty dense under the filth. I hoped he wasn't sick or anything. That would be the last thing I needed right now: having the only other fur in the whole world, as far as I was concerned, dying of some disease right after I met him.

I shifted uneasily, trying to get a better look, and he began to stir. He rolled onto his back, muzzle moving slightly. Huh, I could see a small scar on his muzzle; it had been hidden as he lay on his side. It stretched from the top of his muzzle down to his lip.

I realized I was leaning over the bed, staring. His eyes opened a slit, then snapped open. Oops, caught staring. I kept looking though. He definitely had some vibrant, golden eyes. Very... living.

He looked up for a moment, then hurriedly rolled to the side and with an urgent, "Bathroom!" escaped out the door.

I smirked, someone had some morning wood.

Thankfully, I didn't, and I waited for him to get back. I had not been able to tell his size. I lightly wondered over that until he came back. He was trying to hide his embarrassment, so I said nothing. However, I did insist on checking his cuts. They were scabbing well. I put some more ointment on, applied fresh gauze, and taped him back up. I glanced once down in my task but could not tell through his boxers how large he was down there.

After some grumbling, I convinced him to take some pain killers. He agreed only when I insisted it was more for the inflammation, not the pain. I really wanted it for both, but he seemed to be trying to hide his pain.

Afterwards, I went to use the toilet. He was waiting outside the bathroom when I finished.

"I think your toilet's getting a bit full...." He looked embarrassed, ears splayed slightly. It was almost hard to tell, especially with his coloring.

"Yeah, I haven't flushed, sorry. I flushed the one downstairs yesterday. I wanted to wait until I, you know did a number two...."

"Okay, I didn't flush it either. Um, I guess that might get to be a problem too."

"Yeah," I felt the need for a change in subject, "Food! Let's eat."

Shadow turned and led the way down the stairs, his unkempt tail bobbing merrily.

We each had a bowl of dry cereal, the rest of the fruit, and some sports drinks. It was odd, but I joked with Shadow about fear of opening the fridge.

"Let the rotting food stay sealed," he laughed.

"Mom would be horrified. I'm eating junk food for dinner and skipping whole food groups."

He smiled and pawed more cereal mess into his muzzle.

I shook my finger at him and used a nagging voice, "Now don't just shove food into your muzzle young pup! Use a spoon like the rest of us, or go outside if you're gonna eat like a feral!"

Shadow almost choked on the dry stuff in his muzzle as he held back a laugh.

My smile faded, "Hey, Shadow," I took a long breath. "Is it bad that I'm laughing with you when everyone else I've ever known is dead?"

He swallowed the last of his muzzleful, broad smile fading. He looked down a moment, thinking.

"Do you think your family would be upset if you were?"

I hadn't thought of that. "I think Mom would say something like: do your mourning, but live on, because that is what is needed. My sister, Kaylee never wanted me sad."

"Then you have your answer. There's no set time for mourning. Mourning will come and go. You're sad, then eventually it fades. Your mom would've been right, you need to keep living. You'll honor her better by living on."

"Wow," I paused. "How did you get so smart? That sounds really good, you know."

"Hey, I've heard a lot of idiots rant," he said. "Sometimes, there's grains of truth in there."

"I should show you what they looked like, so I'm not just talking to you about faceless people."

I got a picture from the family room. One of the few recent family photos with my Dad in it. I held it out to him, and he took it and studied it.

"You look more like your mom, probably. And your sister is so cute."

My eyes went from thrilled to teary. "I know. She was so adorable, so proud of her big-girl fur."

"Shadow, I want to introduce you to my mom and sis. They'd have loved you."

He just nodded, as if that made sense. Maybe on some level it did.

I took him out to the backyard gravesite, addressed my mom and Kaylee. I briefly told them about Shadow and crouched down to pat the overturned earth. I felt closer to them now. I left to go back in the house. I noticed Shadow paused and seemed to mumble something of his own to the grave. It took him a few minutes, I just waited for him at the back door. I guessed he had his own issues he needed to talk out.

Now that it was a bright day outside, I kept looking nervously around. I looked especially to the East, where the curtain had come from yesterday. Should I look West instead, in case it reversed? I couldn't hide my unease, Shadow took note when we went back inside.

"You okay? You seem pretty nervous."

"I'm just wondering if the curtain will come back today," I tried to hold in a grimace.

Shadow rubbed the back of his neck, "Can you tell it's coming?"

"Yeah, it makes the light look strange... and there's a high hum in the air. I guess?"

Shadow just followed me as I led us back into the family room.

"Play Parcheesi? I haven't played in a while."

"I don't know how to play. Never even heard of it," Shadow admitted.

So I showed him how to play, and he seemed to enjoy the distraction as much as I did. I had set up the game on the floor and we gathered around it. It felt... normal. He sat with me on the floor, bare chested. Neither of us had bothered to dress, just wanting to feel relaxed. He was just in boxers and I was in t-shirt and boxers.

His bared chest was well-furred, though it was difficult to see contours through his dirty fur. Muscular? Probably. The dressings I had put on his wounds stood out starkly against the black fur. His bandages held in place well as his tail happily brushed the floor behind him.

"I hate to bring it up again, but what are we going to do now?" he asked, shaking his dice cup.

"I don't know if I can leave. I know I can't bury everyone, but something inside me keeps feeling I should try."

"Hmmm. I think time would be better spent surviving. Any friend or neighbor would tell you that."

"Yeah," I said slowly, "I think I should at least bury Eric." At Shadows questioning look I filled in, "He lives- lived a two houses down. We'd do everything together. When... the thing... happened, I went straight to his place. I found him, but he was...."

Shadow nodded, "I guess one grave won't hurt things. I could even help you this time."

I gave him a weak smile, "Thanks."

We went back to playing. He won that game, but I wasn't really trying. Next game, I pulled out my strategies.

"So after that, what next?" Shadow prodded.

I sat back for a while. It was very still, Shadow just watched me calmly, waiting. "I don't know. I think we'll need to leave, but my life is here. It feels like I don't know how to leave. Does that make sense?"

"Dunno, I was hardly anywhere long enough to feel settled."

I moved a piece ahead, but then Shadow captured it and sent it back to my base. He gave me a cheeky grin.

And my own smile faded. My whiskers twitched and my tail froze behind me. I... heard something.

No.

Please.

Not again.

Enough already.

"What?" Shadow asked.

I jumped to my feet and grabbed his paw, "Up, now!"

His eyes widened in realization and his paw trembled in my shaking one.

"This way!" I hauled him after me. Past the entryway, into the hallway. I opened the utility room.

"What, here?!" he yelped, eyes scanning the space.

"It works, just get in!" I yelled as I threw the upright vacuum out.

He dove in, cramming himself inside. I followed, closing the door.

"Get down on the floor, if you can!" I yelped.

"What? Why!" the hum was becoming definite, not just a half-perceived thing.

"It helps, a little. Especially when you collapse after!"

I could hear him cursing, settling down in the cramped space. Then he stilled, but I heard a whine escape him. There was a pause. An eternity when we were just waiting.

And it hit.

Once again.

And the impact felt not one bit less. The humming in my head spread to my being, clawed into my mind. Time escaped on its own path. The sensations spread though a body I was hardly aware of. The vibrations became my world, my existence....

Until they stopped, and for a split moment in time, my existence stopped. The silence crashed down, the stillness deafening. Like my whole body was an ear that had just gone deaf.

I sagged the rest of the way to the floor, dizzy and shocked.

And a weight fell on me. This time it wasn't the vacuum.

We panted for breath, and I knew that this time, I wasn't alone.

I pulled my existence back into myself, pulled the awareness of myself and "other". That changed to me, Tyler Evans and Shadow.

I drew a half-sob and clutched onto some fluffy fur that wasn't on my body.

He shuddered and hoarsely mumbled, "Sorry, I don't think I can move yet."

He shifted a bit and I could breathe easier. I blindly grabbed with both paws and gripped what I had of him tightly.

"Ouch," he said, and I managed to loosen... a little.

"It's okay, we're here together. We're not alone this time."

I nodded and drew shuddering breaths, trying to calm myself. Somehow, he was able to think of me at a time like this? However that was possible, I was thankful.

Our heavy breaths calmed, but neither of us moved. Unlike the other times, I didn't want to leave the complete darkness. The other times I'd thrown myself out of the room. I didn't want to move, just wanted to feel that there was another life in this world.

I nuzzled my head upwards towards him, bumping my nose into his fur and inhaling slowly as I calmed. He smelled, wolfy? Whatever he smelled like, I didn't care. My long whiskers wove into his fur.

He sighed as we both relaxed.

His arm reached over me, happened to be my shoulders. His paw rested on my back, clutching my fur through my shirt. "At least this part is better with someone."

I nodded into his fur. It didn't matter who he was or where he came from. He was here, with me. The darkness was not empty. We lay there for a long while, neither really wanting to move. More than an hour. Eventually, I felt his weight shift the rest of the way off me. "Thirsty?" he asked.

I nodded, then realized he couldn't see me. "Yes," I said, sitting up.

I heard fumbling and felt a furry arm brush me, then it stopped.

"Um, Tyler?"

"Yeah?"

"How do I open this thing?"

I giggled and searched for the handle. At least I was familiar with where it should be. I got it open and we stepped out. I picked up the vacuum and moved it out of the way, down the hall this time. It was useless now, just like the microwave and TV.

"I still feel a little dizzy," said Shadow as he walked unevenly back to the kitchen.

"Me too," I agreed.

I sat at the table and held my head in my paws, trying to stabilize my senses.

"Sports drink or water?" he asked.

"Better make it water."

We sat and drank slowly, sagging and hunched over at the table.

"You know, we could go swimming," I suggested. "It's getting pretty hot, and there's a pool nearby we can walk to."

"I hate to say this, but I think there were probably people swimming when...."

I groaned. After a few minutes I tried again, "But I feel nasty, my fur feels sticky." I picked at my forearms with my fingertips.

He chuckled, half-heartedly, leaning on the table. "We both do. Your shirt has some crazy stains, and you have some nasty stain or other on your shoulder there." He pointed.

"Where?" I moved my paw up and felt my shirt-covered shoulder and over my neckfur.

And froze.

It was crusty and dry but I knew what it was. The crust was spread, covering both areas.

I felt blood drain from my face and watched as Shadow took notice.

"Tyler, are you okay?"

A great shudder wracked my body and I jumped up, frantically tugging at my shirt.

"Get it off!" I shrieked. My pitch rising as I tugged directionlessly, trying to get it away. I wanted it away, but was too panicked to simply remove it.

"Hold still!" Shadow was there, somehow, removing the shirt.

I sagged, forepaws to the floor, topless and sobbing. Shadow crouched down next to me.

"You okay? What happened."

"That stain.... The fluids.... I came and found them.... I held my sister," I was having a hard time putting it into words.

Shadow visibly winced as he pulled meaning from my nonsense. He patted my back, and I tried to calm down.

But I couldn't stop the words, "...and I held her - but I couldn't look... and then something came out - and it fell here." my breathing was coming faster. I reached my paw up and touched my neck.

There was still some-

I scratched at my neck, sobbing again. Crust loosened and fell to the floor. I felt sick, and my stomach cramped.

And then I was running to the bathroom and coloring the toilet water with chunks.

I was muzzle down into the bowl, Shadow rubbing my back. I held onto the rim even after I'd finished and sagged towards the nasty water.

"I'm pathetic," I sobbed. "I couldn't protect my family. I was even here, they were so close. I'm useless and weak. I'm smaller than the other foxes my age. My eyes are still blue, like a little kit. They were supposed to turn years ago, but never did. Now, they're even more blue than before. I was never taken seriously outside my family." I took shuddering, shallow breaths, then emptied the rest of my stomach out. Well, it smelled foul in here now.

It was as if the toilet was a confessional and was drawing stuff out. I kept going, "Dad was never here, he said I was a pathetic excuse of a son. I'm small and weak and stupid. I was nothing like him and he insisted I wasn't his. He left us and slept around with any willing female fur anywhere he went, traveled constantly. I don't know, he's probably dead now. The only thing he told me was to watch after the family. Like the only way I could bring him back was to replace him and show I was like him."

Shadow, behind be growled softly. At me or at my dad? I wasn't sure. As long as he was here, I didn't care. He could be angry.

He helped me to my feet and wiped my face with a dry washcloth from over the sink. He scrubbed at my neck with another one, adding water from our precious supply.

"Thanks," I mumbled. "Sorry," I added, not looking at him.

He led me out and we sat on the couch. He rubbed my back. And just sat next to me as I slouched forward.

I couldn't look him in the eyes. I was embarrassed, weakened, bared to him. I had my head down in my paws, but was silent. Shadow was silent too. He was either giving me time, or not wanting to do any more from disgust. I didn't want to look at him to find out which.

He moved his paw and scratched between my ears, "You're strong; your survival now is proof of that. You took care of your family. And, you know," he leaned a shoulder against mine for a moment, "I think your eyes are nice."

Then his paw went back to slowly circling my back.

I didn't think I was strong, my survival had been a fluke, as far as I could tell. He also couldn't know how embarrassing it was to have the eyes of an infant. But, maybe it didn't matter now. He was here, and maybe he could see me as strong, even if I wasn't.

I was relaxing, starting to sway back and forth with each circular rub along my back.

And I heard it.

Something was moving! Not us, not a bird or urban feral. But something.

No, someone. Some fur!

I stood up. Shadow stood right after me, also catching the sounds.

"Hello?" I called.

Shadow shushed me.

"What?" I whispered.

"Something's not right. Be very quiet."

I nodded, and followed him as he crept to the window. Foxes are naturally stealthy creatures, so I made very little noise. Shadow, it seemed, was just used to sneaking around. Took a lot of practice for a fur like him.

We crouched beneath the window and cautiously peered out.

"You cannot be serious," muttered Shadow, followed by a deep shudder.

I shushed him, but couldn't agree more.

It was Miss Dervin, the skunk from next door. She stood at the sidewalk. She was so nice.

She didn't look nice now. Her face was a map of open gashes where old blood had congealed. The gashes must be from... critters or birds. Her usually lively eyes were clouded over, but glowed unnaturally from within. It wasn't the natural glow of life. It was a light different, stronger in a way, as her head turned back and forth searching.

Oh, yeah. And she was very obviously dead.

Unless she couldn't notice her arm wrenched from its socket, which twitched as it tried to move it. Unless she didn't notice her innards, exposed by scavengers, still feeding larvae.

Unlike the movie-style undead, she was silent. Her face stuck in that death snarl all the dead had worn for days.

"I guess you hold an expression too long and it really does get stuck," I whispered.

"And after three days they shall rise and walk the earth again," Shadow whispered.

Neither were funny.