Life by the Page 10
10
The vibrant young woman who sat across from Leon glowed with beauty in the dim light of their candle lit dinner table, to the point of which the candle seemed a bit unnecessary compared to her fragile frame. They were seated by a window at the very edge of the restaurant. The lake was dark that night, the sky clouded over, ready to storm. It had been such a long time since they had seen each other that the night had a very delicate and unpleasant air to it from the start, or maybe it was the dry chill in the winter air. They started with wine, both secretly hoping that a little liquid courage would help them overcome this awkward spell, their hopes a bit far gone, or at least it seemed so at first glance. Leon was sullen as his mind wandered, brooding over his own mood and comparing it to Martha's beauty like a licentious monster, he turned his attention elsewhere. His gaze satisfied with the cold, dark lake. Martha mistook his solemn behavior for indifference to her presence. She was flattered by the look he had given her when they had met at the door, but one look can only quell so much vanity, especially among circumstances that were now so uncertain. She had looked stunning, her pearly white fur well groomed and meticulously clean. People underestimated the difficulties of having white fur when one was trying her best to look distinguished. She was the only bat Leon ever admitted to being attracted to. Despite her radiance the first kiss had been awkward. It seemed their lips had met for less than a second before Leon opened the door for her. A quick peck more than an embrace of the lips.
It had taken another glass of wine before Martha had broken their silence. "I feel like it's been so long since we've been out like this." Leon turned his head slowly away from the scene of the lake. She smiled at him affectionately, appreciating his gaze. He gave her a half smile before turning his attention to his glass to give its contents a gentle swirl before taking a sip. His mind was somewhere else, a bitter place that was much like driving a car out of control, sending him hurtling into a depressive state that at the same time made his heart thump loudly in his chest.
"Yes..." had his resolve failed him? "It's felt like ages." Martha nodded affirming their shared opinions. Shifting a little in her seat she began to wonder, maybe the cause of their silence was more than just not having anything to say to each other. At the same time, Leon began to feel increasingly awkward. He didn't want things to be this, he needed something to say. He focused back in on her, this time his smile was more earnest, a successful attempt at truth "You look wonderful you know..." Why a compliment? He immediately recognized flattery as a mistake, it was a cheap scapegoat. However, he did not give compliments often, even despite what he said felt cheesy, he was being honest, he thought she was beautiful. His undoing was founded on his intent. It was so rare that he complimented, in fact, she actual began to blush. The wine helped the redness in her cheeks as she smiled, diverting direct contact with his eyes, the redness glowing behind he pale white fur. The simple fact was, despite her beauty, Martha was very insecure about the way she looked. She had been that way since she was a child, so she had always spent plenty of time in front of her mirror. It wasn't out of vanity so much as it was a desire to please, a way out of some bad memories.
"What, this old thing?" she tried to play off the flattery only to give herself away. "I wore this on New Year's, remember?" Leon in fact remembered that night, or at least parts of it. He had been drinking more and more as that night went on into the new year. The more he drank the stranger the dress had looked on her; it became its own creature, a succubi, enticing and curved. He nodded letting her know he remembered. Still smiling Martha had opened her mouth to say something else but by that time their waiter had arrived with their main dishes. Martha's dish was small, seemed delicate, and at the same time had wonderful presentation. It was green, fresh, and gave off a pleasant aroma of fish and a sweet pomegranate reduction. It was very much nouvelle cuisine and at the same time very much like her, she would eat fish whenever she had the chance, but only in such small quantities. Leon preferred what Martha referred to as "La nourriture des paysans." Martha rolled her eyes as she laid her serviette across her lap. Leon smiled as he did the same, diving his fork and knife into the succulent duck and ratatouille. His order would be the closest as he would come to a flirtation that night as he brought the first bite to his lips and emitted an exaggerated groan of approval.
The night was kept mostly in silence, Martha occasionally and very pensively trying to break through the thick barrier that seemed stuck between them. Leon hadn't much to say to her that he didn't feel might already be understood, however this was probably his worst mistake of the evening. He hadn't the heart nor the state of mind to be honest with her. Before long their bill cost more do to wine than the actual food they had eaten, Leon grew weary and slightly irritated with cotton mouth. As they sat beside the window, the light off the lake finally breaking through to them as the cold winter's moon shone in all its white brilliance. Martha could stand it no longer, the silence was too much and the wine not enough. "Leon, I've been meaning to ask you something." Her voice cracked a little by the end of her abrupt words, the wolf could read the anxiety in her tone. Leon turned his gaze from the lake, her face aglow in the haze of his drunken eyes.
"Is this about the money?" No, no, no! This was the wrong way to do it, he had misspoke and wished he could take back his words, stinging nasty words that gnashed their teeth at her like a senseless animal.
"Well, somewhat" she seemed unharmed at first, but the blow really had been struck. She leaned forward in her chair, wresting her arms on the table with her hands folded in front of her, a smile on the landscape of her muzzle. "I've gotten a new job."
"Oh" Leon raised his brow genuinely and somewhat in disbelief, Martha had sensed the latter but smiled anyway. "That's very good news, what kind of work is it?"
"Ill be handling the finances of a private client, I had met them at the bank some time ago. The reason I asked you...for the money that is, is because I need it for a plane ticket."
There was another brief pause, this one seemed different compared to a night of long silence. As the reality of her words finally clicked in the wolf's brain, his heart resounded a single and agonizing thump as it sank deep in his chest. He felt like foolish. "Where does this client live exactly?"
"Paris." His heart sank even more, his hands shook beneath the table, and the back of his neck felt cold as he shivered. "I'll be moving to Paris. Well...not Paris exactly, its a small town not too far away from the city."
"How long will you stay?" He was drunk now, and he wasn't sure if it was the wine or genuine emotion which compelled him to do it, but either way his hand reached out for hers across the table, clasping it and holding it gently as his thumb rubbed her palm.
"I've already decided, I won't be coming back." Leon diverted his gaze to the table letting it sink in. Yes, maybe in some way he did still care for her, but maybe this was more appropriate than him leaving, this was an excuse but at the same time it was more than that, it was a way out of their relationship without causing as much unneeded suffering. Now he felt more like a coward than a fool. "I know this seems a bit sudden..."
"It's alright" he interrupted her, meeting her gaze once again with a warm, sad smile. "I'll buy your ticket, I'm sure this opportunity means a lot to you." Martha smiled back, squeezing his hand softly in return, before diverting her gaze to the table, shaking her head.
"Leon, the ticket isn't for me, I bought mine weeks ago." Confusion hit him before the panic. Maybe the money was for an apartment or something, no need to worry. "I wanted to know if you had the money so you could come with me." Panic, this was too much. He thought he had an exit, an easy way out through a convenient situation. He felt more bitter than before. "Bastard! You stupid bastard!" he thought to himself. Leon's mind failed to process anything but his own distaste for himself. She was serious, far too serious. He needed to think but couldn't, the wine warmed his blood and made his head swell, constricting his thoughts but allowing his imagination to wander. He sat silently, seeing for himself in his mind's eye all that would go wrong. "We would have a small cottage, it's a bit smaller than where you are now but it's a lovely little place. I've seen pictures of it; you would have a place to work with a view of the countryside." She squeezed his hand in return, and even more tightly as she studied their entangled hands. "It's only a few minutes' walk into town as well." She felt like it wasn't sinking in, and for a long moment she said nothing, studying Leon's blank stare. "I want to live with you Leon. Just imagine how wonderful it would be, France! What better place to live with one another? Is there any better place to start something like that?"
"This seems so sudden..." Maybe, just maybe, if he stared blankly enough, and was quiet enough, everything would be alright and she wouldn't expect an answer. Martha's foot moved slowly under the table, brushing up gently against his calf. "I don't think I'm all together certain." He replied finally, feeling her warm touch on the inside of his leg. She smiled again, continually rubbing his hand with her thumb.
"That's alright...I suppose I should have told you this sooner. You don't have to tell me right away, but I need to know soon, and..." The rest of her words faded away, an echo that bled into static as his mind shut down. Leon had poured himself another glass of wine, taking a long gulp as Martha continued to speak, only noticing that he seemed nervous rather than completely tuned out. He grew tired, drowsy, and progressively more distant. Until not only did the sound bleed into nothing, time and the physical seemed to as well.
The next thing he knew Leon woke up in his bed at home, his head ached and his mouth was dry, he could barely see through his sore watering eyes as he sat up in bed. The light shone through the window like a glaring beast slashing at his vision in waves of stinging pain. Then he perceived the figure lying next to him, her white fur pulsing with a soft warmth, her supple breasts emerging like two perfect hills from the thin, dark sheets. Her soft lips gently parted, taking in air that was thick and musky, filling her lungs until the hills on her chest became mountains. He lay back down to stare at the ceiling; he could hear the phone ringing down the hall, its shrill bells clanging off like a machine gun in his ears. It rang again and again, firing off its hellish sound that grew louder and louder as it demanded his attention. Then, as suddenly as it began, there was silence, the phone lay as still as he did, its bells dormant. There was silence apart from her soft breathing, the gentle rise of her soft frame.