Sunshine Days - Chapter 5
Jonathan sat quietly in the back of the auditorium while David talked to him about baseball stats (something which Jonathan knew nothing about or held any interest in, but politely paid attention nonetheless) while they waited for the sermon to start. He still felt awkward about the night before when they had masturbated together in the rec room and didn't want to talk about it. David talked to him as he normally did but there was an intelligent glimmer in his eyes like a cub that had just learned a secret that only they shared. This made Jonathan uncomfortable but David failed to notice his signs of unease.
Pastor Durham took the stage, this time dressed in formal clothes instead of his Scout Leader garb. He led everyone into a couple of songs and a drawn out prayer before going into his sermon.
"Continuing on this year's theme, I'd like to start with one of the most well known stories from the Bible. It's a story on the power and ferocity of water, as well as its power to cleanse and renew. Of course, I'm sure you all have heard it a million times before in Sunday School. It is the story of Noah and the Ark.
"In the days of Adam and Eve's descendents there used to be giants; people who lived to be over 500 years old. Noah himself had lived to be 950, if you can believe that! God then shortened the lifespan down to one hundred and twenty years, for he said, 'My spirit shall not always strive with man.' Time passed and God saw how the wickedness in man had grown great and it grieved him in his heart. He said, 'I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.'
"But Noah found grace in the eyes of God because he was a man of the Lord. He told Noah to build an Ark of gopher wood three hundred cubits in length, 50 cubits in width, and 30 cubits high. That's as bout as long as a football field and a half and as high as a three story building! He also told him to collect two of every living creature, one male and one female, as well as his wife, his sons and his sons' wives to live on the ark and replenish the Earth after the floods.
"It rained for forty days and every living creature on Earth perished in the flood...yes?"
David had his paw raised high in the air. "What about ducks?"
There were a couple of scattered laughs around the auditorium. The fox smiled impatiently and calmly said, "Yes, even the ducks. But not the ducks on the ark."
"What about the fish?" The laughter was a little louder and Pastor Durham looked like he was trying not to lose his temper. Leader Eddie came up behind the two and put his paw on the back of their seat. He said softly but very sternly, "You need to be quiet." David seemed to shrink into his seat, turning beet red.
Durham continued, ignoring the last question. "The floods lasted for a hundred and fifty days. And_every_ living being on Earth was destroyed," he added with emphasis. "At the end of those hundred and fifty days the waters abated from the dry earth and Noah sent out a dove. The dove came back with an olive leaf, that way he knew that it was safe to come off the ark.
"Now." Durham shuffled some notes, "I mentioned how water can cleanse the body and the soul. Here, God uses water to flood and 'cleanse' the wicked Earth. Much like shaking an Etch-a-sketch when a picture doesn't come out quite right, God shook out his creation and started over."
Jonathan's brow furrowed in thought. As many times as he had heard that same tired-out story of the bearded man who built a big boat and carried two of every animal, it was just starting to occur to him how 'off' it was. In a way, it was kind of sadistic. He wondered why an omnipotent God would go to all the trouble to create people only to grow displeased with them and destroy them. The story didn't make God sound like a kind and loving being for rescuing Noah and his family, but like a spoiled cub who played favorites and destroyed a block tower that came out wrong.
"Yes?" Pastor Durham said, pointing to someone up at the front.
Avery spoke up, his voice laced with gleeful malice, "Like when God came and smited the fags and queers in Sodom?"
Almost everyone burst out in laughter, except for the counselors, Pastor Durham, and Jonathan and David. Both Durham and David flinched at Avery's words. Jonathan was clueless as to what they meant. He had been called a fag in school many times before and often heard things described as 'gay' but never really understood what it meant like most curse words.
Durham cleared his throat and regained his composure, smiling impatiently at the pup. "Yes, but that's not what we're talking about here. The Bible does not specify their sins in Noah's time. It only mentions that they were wicked in their ways. Could we please settle down?"
Eventually the cubs calmed down and Pastor Durham continued on with his sermon. But Avery's words stayed on Jonathan's mind, making him wonder what they meant. He had always assumed that a 'fag' was someone who was low on the social ladder. But would God would really destroy a whole city of them? He looked over at David and saw that his smile was gone. His eyes were darkened again and his lips were a grim, thin line. It was the same look he had seen after their altercation in the locker room. Something about it made him feel sad and worried. They were quiet for the rest of the sermon.
~~~
Jonathan spent a little over half an hour looking for David. After the cubs had been let out of the sermon, David had gotten separated from Jonathan in the crowd (or maybe he had deliberately shook Jonathan off his tail). They had planned on going to go to the docks for swimming practice but he wasn't at the dock before they started. He wasn't in the lockers getting changed into his trunks and he wasn't in the cabin either. Jonathan located Vince, who was in charge of arts and crafts that day, and asked him if he knew where David was. He said he didn't know. Neither did Leaders Lars or Eddie.
A strange thought occurred to Jonathan as he was looking for David. 'Wait a minute...why am I_looking for _him? Shouldn't it be the other way around?'
He eventually gave up the hunt after it was too late to join in the swimming lessons and retreated back to the cabin. He felt a sense of abandonment and rejection, not so much offended but hurt. He found his mp3 player and pocketed it. He went out around the cabin to the old, worn out bench sit listen to music and be alone with his thoughts.
David was already sitting on the bench, looking out into the wilderness when Jonathan rounded the corner. Jonathan's heart leapt in surprise and his tail twitched. He smiled, despite himself, and walked over to the bench. He stopped when he saw the dark, intense thought in the pup's gaze as he concentrated on the pine trees. He appeared much older when he had that look.
David turned his head and saw the kitten. The darkness retreated and his face lit up in a bright smile, like a sun coming out from behind a swollen purple cloud.
"Hi!" he said cheerfully.
Jonathan smiled and said, "Hey. Mind if I join?"
"Be my guest." David scooted himself over, letting the kitten sit down.
"So what happened?" Jonathan asked, trying to word himself carefully, "After the sermon. You just left."
David shrugged and sighed softly, "I came out here... I just needed some time to think."
"About what?"
"Stuff..." David said. His voice was distant.
Jonathan thought carefully, not wanting to say anything to upset David. David didn't seem like the kind of guy to fly off his handle or have a meltdown but it was better being safe than sorry.
"Was it something Avery said?" he asked after a while.
David was quiet. The cloud returned over his face, dimming his expression. He said very softly, "Kind of..."
Jonathan pressed for more, treading carefully around the edges. He saw that he was already getting an upset look. "What did he say?"
David shook his head and smiled, "It's nothing. Avery's just a jerk, that's all."
"But..." Jonathan furrowed his brow, "When he called you those names it made you...I dunno...moody."
David cast his eyes down, shifting uncomfortably. He mumbled, "...it's nothing."
They were quiet for a long time. For once, the silence made Jonathan uncomfortable instead of David. It was like trying to pry information from an open book that was just locked shut.
He decided to go with a more straightforward approach. He asked, "What's a fag?"
The fur on the back of David's neck bristled and his body went rigid. Jonathan panicked, thinking he had set the pup off but David breathed out and his fur went down.
David put on a forced smile and turned to the kitten, "Are you sure you weren't homeschooled?"
"No," Jonathan said, "I go to a regular school. I just hear the word tossed around a lot and...I dunno what it really means."
David paused. "Fag is a slur word against gay people. It means two people of the same gender that have sex."
"So...fag and gay are the same thing?" Jonathan asked.
"No. Well, kind of. Fag is more of a curse word than gay is."
Jonathan nodded. He was trying to wrap his mind around the concept, trying to figure out how two people of the same gender could even have sex. He understood the basic anatomy of man plus woman equals baby by method of intercourse but he couldn't figure out how two guys or two girls could do the same thing.
"So...Why did that upset you?"
David responded bluntly, "It didn't. Avery's just a dickwad. That's all."
Jonathan knew David was hiding something and maybe it had to do with being gay. He didn't pressure David to talk any more about it but he still had his suspicions. They didn't change how he felt about the pup but it did change how he thought of him. From what little he understood, God had wiped out a city based on an evident sin. He couldn't see God smiting someone like David, no matter how annoying he could be. He was also sweet and funny and kind and...
Jonathan blushed when he realized his bare leg was touching David's. He remembered the previous night, wondering if that's how the gays did it. Panicked thoughts raced through his brain. 'Did I sin? Did we secretly have sex? Does 'pawing' count? Could I be gay?' He wrung his paws nervously in his lap. He thought that worst of all, he might have actually enjoyed it. The bird in his chest rattled its cage. His cock stirred in his breezy shorts.
David stood up, the bench creaking from his weight being lifted. He looked down at the kitten, reading the anxious look on his face. He shuffled his foot in the dirt and brown pine needles, looking anxious himself.
"Are...are we still friends?" David asked nervously. Jonathan looked up and saw something new in the pup's eyes. Fear. The fear of rejection that he himself knew all too well. He knew that Jonathan knew that he knew his secret and was afraid of being shunned.
"Yeah," Jonathan said, offering the best smile he could muster. "Of course."
David seemed a bit relieved at that, still shuffling nervously. "Even though I'm..." he couldn't bring himself to say it.
Jonathan nodded softly. He didn't know the whole social and political scope of homosexuality at the time. He only knew what he had heard from David and from the things he had heard out on the playgrounds at school. He knew it was a negative thing to be gay but looking at David as a gay was like a paradox. He had only known him for two days but David seemed to be the most positive and happy person he'd met at the camp. He just couldn't be a loathsome 'gay'.
David's expression became light again, his relief beaming radiantly. His tail wagged swiftly behind him and he rubbed his paw on his forearm sheepishly. "Thanks, dude."
Jonathan replied, "No problem."
David's tone rapidly changed. He was back to his usual self again. "Hey, wanna go play some tetherball?"
And just like that they were off again, as if nothing had happened. Jonathan ran behind the exuberant pup just to keep up.