Jordan Rhodes Interview

Story by RaiRaijinn on SoFurry

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Rociel visits her grandmother and learns alot within an hour...including that grandma has quite the mouth on her!

Also her granddad doesn't get along with lawn mowers too well...

Don't mind the Eyecon, He's there to make sure nothing gets stolen.


*Rociel and her grandmother,Jordan, take a dip In a Hot tub, starting a relaxing conversation*

Hey RoRo, How have you been sweetheart?

Fine, I am just kind of curious about my heritage...

I think I could help you on that... but you have to be more specific, Cultural or "Physical"?

I want to learn about my Biology, I never really thought about it but sometimes I can't help to feel different.

Rociel, You wanna talk about the Hyena Birds and the Bees?

Yeah...

Okay, Most "Pure Blood" Spotted Hyenas have a Pseudopenis which is kind of like an elongated pair of lips and a clitoris put together...

Whats a pure blood?

Oh, Sorry I didn't mean anything by it, The term is to kind of class those who have the "Mixed" bits like you do and who have the standard bits for people like me.

So I am a mixed blood?

Well... Yes, but your momma Jackie is a 1st Gen Mixed Blood so don't sweat it too much, besides: Stripes are Sexy!

Can you go on with what you were saying earlier about the birds and the bees thing?

Sure Sweetheart, Like I was saying, Pure blood Spotted hyenas have a Pseudopenis which is like elongated pussy lips combined with a clit to make a fleshy tube that used for sex and giving birth

Heh, Ummm... Is it painful to have sex that way?

Sex is a bit awkward but the foreplay can be fun if you have the right person to do it with...

Can you explain the mechanics of how it works?

Hmm, Do you know how a guy hyena's dick is shaped?

No...

My word, Do you even watch porn?

No.

Alright, I guess I am gonna put it to you straight, a guy hyena's dick is meant for piercing into a girl like my Clitdick.

Neat, are all of our Male "Relatives" like that?

If I can think about, Yeah... Brown, Striped and spotted Hyena's have that kind of build to them

What about the Aardwolves?

Them too, but they're often on the smaller side...I ain't going to joke about that one, they have some pretty small dicks.

So does size matter for a spotted pure blood like you?

Depends on who is the one carrying the 'bigger' tool, you're grandma is packing a Barret 50. Cal between her legs to put it nicely for you...and yes size does kind of matter.

In what way?

Okay, there is some weird bedroom dynamics to this but I'll try to tell it to you the best I can, A girl a with bigger clitdick has better chance of giving birth without having to be ripped open by a bunch of scrubs.

What about the male in the bedroom?

Err... That's a tricky part, a smaller guy is more comfortable but if you're planning on having a kid, you might wanna go big because your granddad was the one popped my cherry and he paved the way out for Jacklyn to be honest.

Ouchie! Does it make easier after doing "it"

Sex or popping a whelp out?

Both!

After popping your cherry if you're like me, It gets waaay easier once you know how to get those bad boys crashing in the same direction. The birth part really stretches out the clit and its worse than getting shot in the freaking shins but it makes nailing your granddad a cinch and I don't have to struggle to get it inside me.

Is it difficult to actually do it?

You have to get the juices flowing so you can get the "Boytoy" in the "Barrel" without getting stopped midway, its pretty damn messed up when you dry up half-way and the guy standing there without a fuckin' clue what to do at that point.

That sucks, I am kind of glad I don't have to worry about that...

Hehehe... You may not have my kind of Gear but you still have the Strong-as-Steel Muscles down "there" like me and your momma Jackie, Why do you think your dad has problems with his Testerone, He is makes a lot just to keep up with her!

Oh... Speaking of Testerone, Umm Why do we make it?

Strength and General Sex appeal, It helps flesh our bodies in areas that guys pay attention to, our heads, chests, asses and hips... plus it makes our clits grow, that's an added bonus. Its the reason why we have the strength to go toe-to-toe with the boys, too!

Why do a lot of people freak out when they see mine?

That's just fear of something they don't know too much about: For guys, it's the fear of getting pegged up their asshole and ridden like the pony express; for girls, It's a mix of curiosity and fear of becoming another girl's bitch.

Is weird that I like both males and females?

Not really, A lot of gals with our Clitdicks chase after both teams, One of my cousin's got with another girl like her and they manage to get inside each other.

Wow, Is that even physically possibly?

I don't think so and my cousin was a pathological bullshitter so I doubt that actually happened.

Umm... Speaking of getting 'inside', how does Masturbation work?

You either jack off or finger yourself, now if you're curious how using a 'Toy' works, you have somewhat slim pickings but I would suggest going with the surgical steel ones because the stuff that most 'toys' are made of will chafe like hell.

I hate to ask this but How do you use the bathroom?

Errr... I piss through my clitdick really, I know it sounds fucked up but your grandma knows how to keep clean for her favorite person. How do you use the bathroom, RoRo Hmmm?

Sorry, that was a bad question to ask.

Good, Now do you wanna ask any other questions?

Why did you join the U.S. Marines when you were younger?

Ahh! You're grandma didn't grow in the best of places or the wealthiest, my folks were incredibly poor, they had to save every penny they got from my dad's social security and my mom had hell of time finding a decent job, so I did what most of my relatives did when they were shit outta luck: Join the Military.

Why the Marines specifically?

I heard it was more challenging and you learn a whole hell of lot more than you would in the Army, although I learned that the Marines are the first ones to get canned when everything SNAFU's.

Oh... What do you mean by that?

Under-equipped, Under-supplied and Under-manned, A lot of marine squadrons' resources were often sent to the Army Battalions so you have to generally make do with what you can manage to find, and not even sleeping with the supply sergeant will get you anywhere.

That sounds horrible, were you ever deployed?

Hell yes and probably the worst place to be in the world, The fucking middle east where every valley was hiding an army in the hills, God damned terrorists.

Oh Afghanistan, what did you do there?

Listen, joining the Marines was a whirlwind for me, First thing i remember is basic training then next thing i fuckin' know, I am getting shanghaied into becoming a Scout Sniper then next they have me in Team Leader training. It was a complete clusterfuck for me.

How did you end up in Morocco?

After spending six months in Afghanistan playing "Sniper", everyone got to go home once everything died down...except for me getting shipped to freaking Casablanca to train a bunch of Rookies that had their Squad leader blown up by a rogue TOW missile.

How in the world does that happen?

Well... You're granddad is accident prone... Extremely accident prone...with dangerous weapons...that go boom...or that set things on fire...

*Rociel's expression turns to concern*

Was he always that dangerous?

_ *The Sound of a Lawnmower exploding can be heard from the patio* _

He still is to this day, Now if you excuse me, I need to grab the fire extinguisher quick or we're gonna have a half-baked Husam in 10 minutes!

*Jordan dashes out of the hot tub to rescue her spouse*