That was awesome...
Dreams are fucked up but pretty awesome some times
So I had a dream last night that was just awesome enough to warrant sharing. So come along with me on this tripy journey through dream space and maybe get an insight into the workings of my inner mind.
My dream opens in a cave below lindblum, one of the cities from final fantasy 9. My companions and I have just discovered the lost treasure of Blackbeard the pirate. the skeletal remains of the legendary pirate lie half buried in gold, tangled with the the bones of his first mate, frozen forever in the final scene of the struggle that had left both men dead and the treasure lost forever. until now. The problem is that we cannot stop out current quest to transport the treasure up through the labyrinth of caves to the city proper. As a result we are forced to leave it where it lays in the hopes of returning for it later.
We journey on, time and distance fading into the ether of dream space and we find ourselves in the barrens, from wow, where we are saying our goodbyes as we are about to part ways. My friends will continue on their quest while I return to the cave to secure the fortune in gold hidden below the tower city of Lindblum.
"Be careful", one of them warns, "If you try to carry too much at once someone is sure to try and mug you. You should probably try to hire some help".
With those parting words my friends leave and I turn south to head back the way I had come. As soon as I turn around I see an Indian Brave charging towards me on a chestnut brown colt. He's wearing a blue shirt and his black hair is billowing in the wind behind him from the speed of his horse. He's twirling a sling above his head and I know instantly that he is coming to kill me and take my scalp for some unimaginable wrong he feels I have committed. He's 'yipping', that's all I got to describe that noise, in a high pitched voice, his version of a war taunt.
I look to my right and see a cave in the mountains in the distance. I start to run, catching a glimpse of my companions running north, somehow I know that they'll be okay as long as the warrior is chasing me, so I run. I stumble and have to fight to keep my feet, my legs simply refusing to work like they so often do in dreams. The brave is closing in and I know there's no way ill reach the cave before he reaches me...
Time jumps forward, I'm inside the cave, but instead of being safe I realize I have entered the lions den. The cave turns out to be a decently furnished hovel, with brightly colored blankets decorating the walls and a bed set off to one side, it's also perfectly square... odd for a cave but that stood out to me.
The warrior charges into the cave/ home, his mount carrying him at full speed, but as soon as he crosses the threshold his horse evaporates, lost forever to the mists of dream. He circles the room laughing at me, but I'm too busy dealing with his little brother to care. The little brother having appeared out of the mists is slinging rocks at me while I try vainly to reason with the elder Indian who is no longer acting aggressive but refuses to reply to anything I say. I'm holding my arms up to guard my head from the rocks being pelted at me which do more to annoy me than actually hurt.
I must have convinced them not to kill me, because the dream shifts once again into a montage of us crossing the barrens together in search of the treasure of Black Beard. I still have my misgivings about my new companios and a sneaking suspicion that they plan to kill me as soon as I lead them to the treasure.
when we reach the small valley leading up to the Dragon Gate, which also contains the smaller cave leading to the treasure, I finally stop and lay everything out for my companions, asking them to help guard me as I recover the treasure.
"What's in it for us?" asks the elder brother, speaking english for the first time all dream.
"If you help me get one load of treasure up to my home in the city, and you beat me back to the treasure you can take as much of the treasure as you want for yourselves", there's plenty of treasure to go around, and I inwardly plan to beat them back down and take the rest of the treasure before they reach it. I extend both hands, one to each, so that we might shake and seal the deal. The elder agrees immediately, but the younger takes some convincing.
With the agreement made I lead them into a cave opening that resembles a mine shaft directly under the Dragon Gate. I know its not the right cave before I enter, the one leading to the treasure is off to the right, but I don't remember seeing this door before and simply have to know where it leads. It'll only take a moment and I can always go back out and enter the correct cave as soon as I see whats in this one. Besides, its a well known fact of final fantasy that you always go the wrong way first, that's where they hide all the cool items.
So, into the cave we go. Again the doorway leads into a square cave, still full of stalagmites and stalactites and columns, but disturbingly square for a cave...
I'm at the top of a staircase that leads down into the square cave, the staircase winds around the outer edge of the cave leaving the bottom floor open like a chess board. in each corner is a statue of George Washington that is pacing back and forth from its corner; three paces along the left wall, then back to the corner, three paces along the right wall, then back to the corner, their movements are jerky and predetermined in a mechanical way. Like if I was to stand next to one, inches from it, it would never know I was there, but should I stand in its path, it would draw its sword and strike me down in a lightning quick strike. It was a little too Zelda for my taste and I didn't have any bombs on me so I turned to leave.
Only to come face to face with a mechanized statue of Kermit the Frog! wearing a colonial officers coat and a white Washington wig! His statue only consisted of is torso and up, projecting from the wall in front of me. He was holding a golden spear which he was stabbing up and down with the same mechanical lethality as the Washington robots in the chamber below. Most disturbingly of all he was chanting, "Stab him...Stab him....Stab him..." in a deep mechanical voice that sounded nothing like the Kermit we all know and love.
I looked left to see that there was a matching statue of Kermit extending from the wall at the far corner, and not only that but I was now in a victorian mansion, standing on a red carpet balcony that circled the room and looked down on a dance floor where the Washington statues continued to pace. I was standing along the right wall, I had to get past the stabbing Kermit statue in the corner ahead of me and follow the balcony to my left to reach the door in the middle of the wall. As I stared, the floor began to move away from the door. I looked down to see that things had taken a turn towards Mario.
The floor split into colored blocks and ridiculously over sized furniture that was moving back and forth along the wall and I found myself platforming from block to block to 10'x10' end table to reach the door.
Not only that but I was now Lestat the vampire from Interview with a Vampire, leaping across the furniture with ecstatic joy at the absurdity it all, I reached the landing before the door and found I was standing on a gargantuan grand piano.
"Come on dear lets play something for them!" I didn't know who I was calling to or who "Them" were, especially since my Indian companions had long since gone the way of the horse. And by we I mean you because I sure as hell cant play worth a damn, I thought to myself_, _even in the dream I knew I have Zero musical talent. But I was staring at a golden violin that was lying on the piano, accompanied by a music book and book stand.
"Alright, though my true talent comes from my painting" my daughter replied to me, well Louis Daugher, from the same movie because I sure as hell don't have a real daughter. she walked past me as I smiled proudly and a little confused. She picked up the violin and began to play, though no music came out.
It didn't mater, I turned to address my non-existent audience, "It's true" I joked, "I've seen her spend days on a single painting hahahaha".
"Days?" she quipped back, "Try months"
Laughter came from all around but I didn't hear it, I was distracted by an image of a bagless vacume dumping its container of dirt over a disembodies car air conditioner vent, which in turn sucked up all the spilled dirt as if it had never been there...
I had just enough time to think, that's that stupid fucking vacuum from my work, before I woke up.
I looked at my clock, realizing that everything had been a dream, 6:51am.
I was fully awake, the dream vivid in my mind, "That was Awesome!" I said to no-one in particular, then got up and headed for my shower.
fin.
_True story. _