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. . Lu and Evolution - 2009-0814.0119

Hey, hey, Darks, Foxy here. While we're all just takin a break relaxin, let me tell y'all some about one lil' corner of the Twenty-Three Dimensions. Sure y'all know most of this, but let's keep it all straight.

Y'all know the Boss Archie has a running argument with Big Lu. Lu usta be a Big Cheese around here, Second Banana. Archie had a bug up awhile back and figured let's try an experiment, what's the smallest Dimensional Vortex we can whip up? So He had Lou and his boys do one with only Three Dimensions!

OK, everyone knows Lu, always gotta tinker with the Boss's plans! He and his team stuck Time in, just one direction, see if the thing'd work. Got his own little Vortex, and of course the thing started blowing up. Whaddya expect, one-way time?

So Arch stuck his big hands in, diddled some Dims, thing keeps going. Soon the photons cool down, the thing gets eddies in it. Arch calls 'em galaxies, they got their own little bits of heat. OK, suns, gotta call 'em something for the experiment log. Thing wobbles a bit, more teeny eddies, planets. Eddies within eddies within eddies, OK moons.

*

There's this one spiral galaxy, sphere center, spinning with a buncha arms out for balance. 'Bout two-thirds out, yellow sun got nine planets, grabbed another from a passing star, fifth one broke up. Oops. It's OK, lesse what happens. Flip a coin, third one, blue-green marble looks nice against the black.

Cools down, the inter-pieces of the Twenty-Three start stickin together. Lesse, call 'em quarks, cool name. Just did Three Dimesions, keep 'em balanced, so up, down, strange; charm, bottom, top. And the Anti of each. Then they start stickin. Protons, Neutrons, Electrons. Clump to make, oh, I dunno, atoms. Stick different ones, molecules. Kid's game, stick stuff together in pretty patterns.

Arch has a plan for all this stuff, Lu and Co. make it happen. That's when it all blows up -- not the experiment, the plans. Arch gets all huffy, you know how He gets, wants all the credit as Architect. Lu figgers, his guys did the work, they should get top billing. He and Arch get into a shouting match, we all take sides and it's a knock-down, drag-out fight! The whole Twenty-Three start shakin; Arch whacks Lu and throws him around, the team goes off in a huff down to the Basement. Some of us get lost in Chaos, and when Arch restores order, Lu's pissed, says he'd rather rule the Basement, not serve Upstairs.

Arch is pissed too, and says OK, go! Take yer damned team, and the others that sided with you. Arch and his friends go Upstairs, leaves the Ground Floor sorta empty, no-man's land. So here we are. We get to go Up sometimes, see our friends, but there's a lotta tension. Some stuff you don't forget. Meanwhile, Planet Three runs around Sol a few billion times, experiment just runs itself; who's watching?

Oops again. Screwed the Scientific Method. Well, start watchin now. Solid land, was a nice sphere, Lu stomps around with those clumsy hooves, messes it all. Deep valleys, high mountains. Fill the valleys with our tears, salt water over 70 percent of the surface. Bugs start swimmin around, ewww!

*

Planet keeps runnin around. Bugs get greedy and grab the bits making energy from the sun. Some join forces, make bigger bugs; then grow different parts. Somebody gets fancy, makes a control cable. Oh, what the heck, cover it with, say, bone.

Well, some of 'em. Still stuff oozin around, just one cell, with body hairs around it. Eeeewwww! Archie takes a look, gets ticked again, wants ta know what the heck Lu and his Darks were drinkin!

Takes it out on the body hair, yanks all but one out, poor thing hasta wave around! Flagellum, Lu calls it. Lotsa others still have the hair, call it cilia.

Meanwhile the big bugs are gettin a mite friendly-like. Lu splits em off, groups without bone there, bony ones over here. Some can't make up their minds, so OK cartilage; some sponge wanders up, looks at Lu all forlorn like, he sticks it in the ocean with lotsa friends, it's happy. Good. Call the ones with cables, uh, fish.

Lu's boys start takin each group, makin more, doin stuff just to relieve boredom. The bugs seem happy just oozin round, so let em. But the ones with bone around the control cable look interestin.

Let's try takin em out of the water onto land. Ok, can't hold themselves up, let some go back. Stronger ones get to be Amphibians, go back and forth.

Lu's Darks don't really have a shape as you humans understand it; they live in the Twenty-Three. In this experiment, the Vortex called Earth, they limit themselves to three and the one-way time.

So Lu divides up the team, Scalies, Featheries, Furries, and some we don't have names for. Each team makes the bonies take on their own shape, the one they picked for this Vortex. You call em Reptiles, Birds, and Mammals.

*

So Ed Dragon starts playin with the Reptiles, takes the basic shapes and makes a buncha different ones; some really big ones he calls, umm... dinosaurs. Lets em run around wild on the planet a few hundred million years.

Erin does the Birds, nice pretty colors. But I don't think they ever got a chance at being Top Animal. Pity, but then Erin is kinda shy and flies around. I'm a Fox, and I like her. Busy date.

Mabel, Fred and Jenny started playin with the mammals after Lu got bored with all the big dinos an tossed a asteroid at em. Maybe cause they didn't have hooves, or only a few had horns; or he doesn't like big animals takin over. Maybe that's how Archie felt, I dunno. Or just they had their chance, time for a change.

Mammals. Made some Monotremes, lay eggs like Ed's reptiles. Some Marsupials, live birth but keep em close; make a pouch. Looks cute, I think. Rest have a part inside to feed kids.

Buncha Darks figgered the bugs were doin OK by themselves, didn't change; so they logged it and wandered over to the cute mammals. M,F&J didn't mind, even Lu stomped over to take a look. OK sixteen Darks, each gets a kind of mammal with kid-feeders.

I'm still new at this Furry Dark Fox stuff; I've always been bad at names. So sorry I don't know the 16 Dark Furs' names. The humans call the groups taxonomic Orders. Go look em up if you want, I'll wait. Just c'mon back OK?

Rodentia, Chiroptera, Insectivora, Carnivora, Primates, Artiodactyla, Cetacea, Lagomorpha, Xenarthra, Perissodactyla, Hyracoidea,Pholidota, Sirenia, Dermoptera, Proboscidea, Tubulidentata...

Rodents like rats, mice, squirrels, porcupines; bats with wings on their hands; insect-eaters like shrews, hedgehogs, moles; meat-eaters like cats, dogs, weasels, bears, and sea ones like seals and walruses; primates like lemurs, monkeys, apes, humans; even-toed ungulates like pigs, deer, cattle, camels, giraffes; ocean mammals like whales and dolphins; rabbits, hares, pikas; anteaters, armadillos, sloths; odd-toed ungulates like horses, rhinoceroses, tapirs; hyraxes; pangolins; dugongs and manatees; flying lemurs; elephants; aardvarks.

Whew! Take a break, furs. I know I need one.

*

OK, planet Earth, placental mammals. I'm a Dark Fox, I eat berries and small dumb animals. I know, YUCK! But Ed, Erin and Mabel don't seem to mind, why should you?

Let's go over the meat-eaters, the Carnivores. Actually there's several Dark Carnivores I'd like to go over, like Mabel and Jenny. And that yum vixen a few cottages down.

Remember Lights and Darks don't really have bodies like humans; we pop into the meat puppets like animals and humans, stir stuff up so we don't get bored. You do NOT wanna mess with a bored Dark! Trust me.

So Lu popped into this big red bull/goat thing, Fred popped into a big tiger, Ed popped into a dragon; Mabel's a Wolf, Jenny's a Cougar. I went with Fox, now I wanna go see that vixen ...

So that's the story of how animals and people got on Earth. Darwin didn't know about the Light and Dark Powers, he thought it was all just natural. Hah! Experiment would've blown up long ago without us. And religious types think it's all Archie's work; oh, yeah, right.

They think Lu's just the bad guy, don't know he's the builder. But now I know the real truth -- and so do you. Enjoy!