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Chapter 27: Equiponderance

It had been a long day, at least it seemed for the fox. Ever since the prior event, he had been silent for the most part. Indeed, both of them had uttered only but a few words to each other, and only got noises in response. For the most part, they did not make eye contact, too embarrassed to do so.

Roger felt as if he should do something. Anything that would help destroy the wall between them that they had built. He knew now the wolf was very self-conscious, and that he seemed to value his words, though for a reason he did not know. He wished he find some way to let him know that the fox did not judge him negatively.

When had he started that, however? To stop seeing the negatives in the wolf. He thought about it and had not noticed the seamless transition from derision to praise.

He forced himself to look at the wolf, who glanced back, but quickly turned to look at the floor, folding his ears in response. He had his paws in his lap and was hunched over. His tail twitched, as if to wag, but did not move very far.

Words were sought, thought of, compiled, and evaluated in the fox's mind. He turned the situation around, over and over, in his head, thinking about what would be best, but no solution he produced felt appropriate for the situation. He tried to think of the source of the problem.

What had it been? he wondered. The wolf was attractive, yet he did not believe himself to be so. Had he been mocked by the others for his physical appearance, or did he merely attribute the mocking to all aspects of himself? He knew that the wolf was conscious of his lack of knowledge and understanding in most cases, and judging from prior reactions and situations, it was a sore subject for him, one of which he was ashamed. Roger did not think it was too abnormal for the wolf to think that, having no friends and constantly being made fun of, in due part to the insults that all characteristics of him were negative.

In spite of that, he befriended the fox. He allowed himself to be judged by the fox, stood bare in front of him, confided in him what he would not for others. He trusted him, yet the fox had given him little reason to do so. Still, it meant a lot for him, and it took great effort to do as he did.

However, after that, things became awkward. Now the fox had seen him as was hidden to most. Now the fox could judge him in his mind. Roger had the upper hand, his cards were concealed while the wolf's were not. Everything now was in his favor, and if he chose to leave, he lost nothing. Perhaps that sort of leverage was detrimental. He considered it.

Perhaps he was not thinking of it the correct way. The wolf trusted him well enough, but as he had mentioned previously, he was used to being naked. Perhaps he did not really trust the fox's words as much as he implied. Just because there was a compliment, it did not mean it was taken to heart.

Did it have to be any one extreme, though? Perhaps it was a mix of those two, or a mix of many other things. So many factors that could be thought of, yet the fox did not feel anything made sense. Though, as he reminded himself, not too much made sense to him lately when dealing with the wolf.

He gathered his courage for the moment, planning ahead. He thought of what to say and how to go about what he would suggest. He thought that maybe, since it seemed uneven, he would equalize the situation. Perhaps after the wolf saw that he trusted him enough to see the fox naked and be subject to the same criticism, he would feel a bit better. That, and the fox was nowhere near as fit as he was, so Roger figured that should at least boost his esteem a little.

He offered the idea gently, almost as if he were merely suggest it in an off-handish manner, something that was not so important that the wolf give it much regard. He gave him attention, looked at his face, to judge his reaction, and made sure to casually look away for only but a moment. The moment was not for the wolf, though, but so he could recollect himself, since it was everything he could do to maintain calm and make sure his sanity did not return.

If the goal was to make the room silent, then he achieved it. It was almost enough that he could hear his own heart pounding in his chest, and suddenly he felt as if everything he had just said put him in a chasm of which he could not escape. Regret filled him, he began to feel hot from self-disgust and mortification, and suddenly, he wanted to go home. Anything would have been better than to have let the wolf's condemning gaze play over him, and yet-

"Okay," was all Hunter could respond. He was unsure about the situation as well, but he was open to the idea, it seemed.

The first hurdle had been passed, and now the fox prepared for the second. He rubbed his paws together, let out a deep exhale, and gave a soft chuckle. "Heh, well, okay. Wooh... okay. Alright," he kept saying, delaying it, trying to mentally prepare himself. He did not worry so much about the wolf seeing his torso nude, but rather something that had threatened to manifest itself through the entirety of their encounter.

He stood up, his back facing the wolf so that the wolf would not immediately see his unmentionables. It had subsided from the fear and stress, but he was afraid now that it was only temporary, as his excitement would eventually return while he was in such an odd situation. He had not been nude in front of another before, he was unsure of what his body's reaction would be.

His shirt was off, and he placed it neatly on the bed. He did not hear anything from the wolf, so he continued. Now came the difficult part, however. He removed his pants, but left his undergarments on.

He stood nearly bare in front of that of which he desired. His thoughts began to drift again, and he cursed them, for it began to have an effect. In an attempt to distract himself and perhaps remove his lust, he pinched himself hard on the leg, so that the pain may occupy his attention. It worked for the most part, the thoughts were still there, but his excitement was gone.

He removed his underwear last, still facing away from the wolf. His tail had drooped, and had begin to go between his legs as he now felt the humiliation that the wolf must have felt. He had not even noticed his stance changing, and he was soon covering much of himself with his arms and paws.

He recognized what he was doing and stopped. He forced his arms back to his side and reaffirmed his resolve.

He looked down at his own belongings, that of which he kept private from all others. Now he understood exactly what the wolf had forfeited, the privacy that came with being clothed. He no longer needed to pinch himself, he was far too nervous to react in such a manner.

He looked at his own white fur, trailing all the way down between the borders of red on his sides. He had never really seen his back too many times, but he knew it was reddish orange and brown. His paws were brown and his ears were, as well, but for the most part, all the intimate areas were white.

His sheath was nowhere near as large as the wolf's, nor were his other reproductive organs. He thought that he might have been intimidated by the size of it, but now he knew it for sure. Still, it made for a good selling point, to give the wolf some self-esteem, at least with his body.

He turned around slowly, bit his lip and then stood still. The wolf was examining him just as he examined the wolf.

Roger tried not to move, and said, "There, now we're on even ground."

Hunter wagged a small wag and nodded. It seemed to be working.

The fox breathed out, relieved. He thought for a moment, then asked, "Well, do I look acceptable, then? I mean, might as well ask since now you've seen me."

The wolf shrugged. "You look fine to me, don't see anything wrong with you."

Roger smiled, seeing his chance. "And you look so much better than I do, you shouldn't worry about it!"

Hunter waved his tail, but began to stare at the floor. He was smiling, but he seemed to be bashful in his composure. He spoke softly, saying, "I guess, but I think you look better than I do."

The fox felt his face grow hot and he quickly turned around, saying hastily, "Nah, you're just saying that."

The wolf made no response, but the fox could hear his tail against the bed sheets.

Looking down, Roger had confirmed his predictions. He was glad to have turned around so quickly, as there it was, amidst the white, a flash of red.