Darkness and Starlight 23 - A History of Violence

Story by Z-JAM-C on SoFurry

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#23 of Chronicles of FinalGamer 19 - Darkness and Starlight

With his decision having been made, James goes to the psychiatrist under Koopin's wishes. What follows is nothing more than a long unveiling thread of grief, frustration and anger as Koopin soon sees the true side of James Campbell.

Can he still love him even after all this?

Super Mario Bros. copyrighted to Nintendo, FinalGamer to me


The moment James reached towards the doorknob, a part of him began immediately regretting it. His claws clasped firmly upon the handle, as Koopin's own hand covered his. They both turned the lock, as a voice came from inside. "Ahhh come in." James looked back to see the waiting room he had spent an uncomfortable 15 minutes in, a clinical affair of eggshell-white and peach-coloured windows. The office he was about to enter was of a pale baby blue with a dark grey carpet that felt comfortable to walk on. A brown oaken desk simply sat to their right, against the wall, with two chairs in front of it as well as a typical therapist's lounge chair near the window. A Boo floated behind the desk, making the raptor jump slightly. He spoke in a rather slavic-sounding accent, having a short moustache and bifocals. "Hello, and who might you be?" "Uhh hi," began Koopin nervously, "Koopin Kennidon, we spoke on the phone. We're here for the couples counselling." "Yes, I remember, please sit down." James and Koopin did so, sitting in front of the desk as the boo introduced himself. "My name is Dr. Boostaf, and I will do the best I can to see through your problems, Mr....?" "Uh James. James Campbell." "Very well Mr. Campbell." With a notebook in one small flipper-like hand, and a pencil in the other, he started his session. "Now...firstly, why did you come here?" "Because Koopin made me." "I see...and why did he make you?" "Because otherwise he was gonna break up with me." "Wha-James!" said Koopin. "What, it's true." "That's NOT the reason I brought you here, tell him." "...fiiiine...I've been real angry the past few weeks. Angry, abrasive...that's the word you said right?" "Yes." "You seem very eager to place this on Koopin," said Boostaf, "I take it you do not want to be here at all?" "No, I don't." "Tell me, what would you be doing if you weren't here?" "...I dunno, eating, sleeping, doing my job." "You do nothing else?" "Well, maybe I work a bit on my bike? Play with the chain chomp, we got him a few months back, said it'd help us be more responsible about ourselves and not go off on so many crazy ideas or adventures."

"We've had some strange trips," said Koopin, "and I felt that it was best to find a way to keep us more grounded by having a pet to be responsible for." "I see," replied Boostaf. "Koopin did tell me before that you have been acting aggressively, leaving the house for days and barely speaking to him. Could you tell me why?" "Well gee maybe a guy wants some fucking time to himself?" "James!" chided Koopin. "Don't use that language here!" "Oh fuck off Koopin I am not in the mood for this again." "It's disrespectful, I know what those words mean, and just because nobody else does, that doesn't make it okay!" "What words exactly?" asked Boostaf. "He has these...curse words from his own language he likes to use and I...I don't like when he uses them." "Why is that?" "Because it just makes him so aggressive a-a-and rude all the time! It's like a shortcut to anger and I don't like how easy it is for him to get angry just with those words alone!" "Well I believe that is now a moot point since we are here to address that issue." "Exactl-...huh?" Koopin looked curiously at the doctor who looked towards James. "You can speak your mind here James, as free as you wish. Koopin, I am sorry to ask that I will not allow any stifling of James' personality, including his vocabulary." "Thaaaaank you," said James earnestly, "god do you know how fucking difficult it is to not SPEAK the words you want?" "Oh?" "I mean, I'm polite around his parents, that's fine, but I thought Koopin wanted to know ALL about me and that includes my mouth. And lemme tell you, he loves my mouth, no matter what fucking comes out of it, this is the guy he fell in love with, why should I have to change that?!" "I agree." The koopa looked dumbfounded, suddenly feeling like he had been flimflammed into some kind of joke. James started to relax and leaned forwards casually.

"I do my job, I bring in money, I should get to fucking say what I want in the house I share with him! I mean it's HIS house yeah, but I'm not a kid, I don't have to follow his rules!" "If you contribute to the household you should have freedom, I agree." "I know, right?! I mean I hold my tongue when out or with his parents, isn't that enough?!" "It should be!" agreed Boostaf smiling. "And you have the right to have secrets, that you should not have to share because they are yours." "EXACTLY!" He prodded at his own chest, pointing straight at his heart. "He's got his own secrets yanno, I didn't ask about them, I don't need to! Now he wants to go prying into my heart and oh man, it's a fucking can of worms in here, he doesn't wanna know what I got in here! It's MY right!" "So why did he even bring you here?!" "Because I acted like a massive prick!" "...precisely." James blinked as his somewhat-righteous rant was suddenly put on hold, as Boostaf explained: "You are here because you acted badly. You have been alienating your friends and your boyfriend, and were this a secret simply for the sake of being a secret, then it would not be a problem. Koopin is not trying to expose a secret. He is trying to expose a problem." "...r-right...problem." "Have you always been this hot-blooded?" "Heh, hot-blooded, funny, but uh...I GUESS most of my life I've been like this. I mean...I'm just not very good at holding myself back, I never really NEEDED to when I was a kid." "Really?" "Yeah, I mean...everyone in my life, well, most people I met before coming here, they screwed me over big time. I mean I used to be a nice kid, I remember being a pretty okay li'l hatchling but...shit happens." "And what exactly...happened in your life, that YOU believe caused you to become so...forwards about your emotion?"

James leaned back cautiously, feeling much more open now to speak about himself. Somehow the atmosphere of a somehow-agreeable medical professional who wasn't even judging him right off the bat, made him feel at ease. He even forgot Koopin was right next to him, listening intently. "Well...no, wait, I got it. Seven years old. I'm an orphan, right, since I was two, grew up in my home city in an orphanage and it was an okay place. I don't even remember my parents and frankly I don't really care that much since I never knew them. ...then there was this one fucking asshole, Brian his name was, typical kid bully. loves to pick on weak kids, you know the story. So one day, he and this buddy of his grab me and stuff me in this...sack of something, I dunno, I kinda blacked out see." "What happened next?" asked Boostaf. "The carers found me like...I dunno, sometime later, kinda cried myself out to sleep and I managed to wake up all better after a good rest in the uh, nurse's room. I just remembered how Brian kept laughing at me before he shut up the sack and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe, and all I could think about was, why did he do this to me, what did I do to him, what this horrible smell was that kept choking me so much that I couldn't even breathe at all!" "And then what?" "But the day I recovered, I got up and saw the kids out playing. And I saw Brian with his pals, laughing away...happy. Happy and smiling. I just...I just felt something..." The raptor slowly clenched his fists. "Something in me just stopped caring. I went right outside, kicked open those doors, walked right up to Brian and slashed his fucking eyes out." "...I see," said Boostaf slowly. "And what did you feel at the time?" "Well fuck I was angry! I was PISSED! I was fucking FURIOUS! He nearly killed me, people found me, I even told them who it was and they STILL didn't do anything! He was out there, laughing it up like the fucking shithead he was, and what do they do?! NOTHING! I beat his fucking face, slammed it against the wall, blood all over his face and his eyes clawed out like the little BITCH he was! You know what happened after?!" "What happened?" "THEY PUNISHED ME! ALL I DID WAS STAND UP FOR MYSELF, HE WENT BULLYING EVERYONE FOR FUCKING WEEKS AND THEY DID NOTHING! But the moment I get up and push him back, and make him feel all the pain that me and everyone else did, THEY FUCKING THROW ME INTO SOLITARY!" James slammed the desk hard with both hands tightly pressed against the oak, feeling himself twitch in his arms from the memory.

"S-solitary!?" cried out Koopin. "What kinda orphanage was this?!" "It's like detention but it's a fucking room where nobody ever talks to you and you ride out your problems for an entire WEEK. Lots of kids we have tend to have problems or something so it's kinda like a safety thing in case any of them get a li'l too fucking spastic. ...I was all alone in that room, for the first time they put me there, and all I could think about was how fucking wrong it was that I was the one who got punished, while HE, the bullying PRICK, gets to walk out with a hug and a bandage around his eyes." "While you," added Boostaf, "were treated like a criminal for an act of self-defence." "YES, FUCKING YES, WHAT THE HELL DOES THE WORLD GOT AGAINST ME HUH!? I stand up for myself, I was the one who got beaten by the head director and then thrown into fucking SOLITARY! I WAS A GOOD KID! I NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG!" "All you did was simply teach that boy a lesson." "EXACTLY!" "In revenge for hurting you." "OF COURSE, WHO WOULDN'T?!" "Which means that it was not in self-defence." "I-...wh-what?!" "Self-defence would be an act of fighting back WHILE being attacked. You however suffered his attack, and acted upon him afterwards in revenge." "I-buh-SO?!" "Did you not try to speak to the director or ask all of the orphanage staff about him?" "Th-they were gonna punish him anyway!" roared James. "That wasn't enough, it was never enough! I wanted to make him suffer for what he fucking did to me!" At that moment, James fell back onto his chair with a rather glazed look in his eyes. Repeating what he had said in his own mind, he became incredibly uncomfortable as he sat back cautiously. Koopin's shameful glare burned into his skull, and just as he had risen to the height of righteousness in his mind, James came tumbling down into the depths of shame. Hard. "James...why would you do such a thing?" "...I just wanted to be a good kid. I didn't DO anything to him...but he nearly killed me...I was so scared in that darkness, I-i-i saw things, I-i smelt limes all over me, the limes the fucking limes!" "Limes?!" "YES, LIMES, FUCKING LIMES! IT WAS A BAG OF FUCKING LIMES KOOPIN! NOW YOU GET IT?! NOW YOU SEE WHAT I REALLY AM!? A stupid fucking kid who nearly died in a bag of limes, like some stupid-ass bitch, and fucking blinded another kid BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WOULD!" Koopin struggled to not gasp at this, a light of clarity clicking on in his head as James slumped in his seat, his anger now leaving him with exhaustion in his mind. Boostaf however knew that it was only another half hour left in their appointment, and he calmly replied: "Was that the only time that you felt injustice upon you in your life?" "...no. Not even close." "...tell me about them."

James began to calmly explain about his young orphan life, before he was adopted by a foster family who looked after him well. His honesty was exposed, and he saw no reason to hide any details concerning life with them. He explained how they looked after him, taught him, even encouraged him to read more which was something he stopped doing in his adult life. He even calmly explained how he received "the talk", which unnerved Koopin before James very bluntly stated he had never been abused that way in his childhood. With that sigh of relief from the koopa, James spoke further about how he ran away from his foster home, due to allegations of said abuse being falsely made up by neighbours. He suspected the neighbours either disapproved of his foster parents' intimate life, or just them in general. Despite doing his utmost best to claim they were innocent of any crimes, he would not be listened to. "It was like the fucking orphanage all over again," said James. "I knew they wouldn't listen to me, no matter what I did, all because they couldn't STAND that there was a nice happy little mixed family in their perfect square block. So I ran. I ran away...all the way down to the docks and just...left the city without nobody ever finding me. ...they probably think I'm dead now." "And does that thought disturb you?" asked Dr. Boostaf. "No. I hate my home city. Took away my parents, took away my rights, took away my foster parents all because people wanna make me suffer. ...I hope my city's burning right now...or bombed...or something, I don't fucking know." "Do you truly believe that people have conspired to make your life miserable?" "Pfft, why not? What other reason is there, I mean it sounds better than just people acting like dicks and hurting you just because they feel like it. They all called me shitscale for starters, that's kinda like no-shell in your world but...worse." "I see. ...when you say my world, do you mean to say you are from a different world entirely?" "Wha-u-um, no, well...kinda, I mean...it's a different world BEHIND me now, like in my past." "Ahhhh, you are saying that you are separating your past as one entire otherworld in which you leave from and arrive to here, in order to start a new life in a NEW world." "Riiiiiiight exactly." James smiled with relief at having dodged that bullet. Koopin did too, his own relief masked by concern for his boyfriend's past. James had never spoken about his childhood with such detail, and now he understood why. His heart was struggling to reach out to him, desperately wanting to just hug James close and tell him everything would be alright. But the fact that they were here, now in this office, proved otherwise.

Soon he reached his beginnings with Sarah, and how he ended up working in the bar of a local mobster who began to treat him like a son. In the most literal sense. At this point, Boostaf waited for an opportunity for James to stop before saying: "And unfortunately that is the end of our first session." "Wait, first?" "We have a lot to cover James, we have barely scraped the surface of your anger." "Believe me, I went underneath the surface a LONG time ago." "Then you will not mind me digging inside of you in order to find out for myself. But before you leave...perhaps we can try another method of therapy. Do you like art?" "Uh...well, I can enjoy a painting sure." "Art can be a very good form of expressing one's feelings that they cannot bring out, whether they are good or bad. Would you like to try drawing something?" He was perplexed by such a question, but a childish part within him seemed more eager. With no true reason to say no, as well having relief that the session was over, he said: "S-sure okay...kind of done talking for now." "Good. Now, if you'd like some privacy you can go through that door and give yourself some space, freedom to draw without anyone looking over your shoulder. Take as much paper and crayons as you like, draw anything that's on your mind." Boostaf nodded over to a large stack of paper next to various pens, pencils and crayons all neatly within a cupboard. James tenderly walked over and took some pens, as well as a few crayons. The doctor noted down which colours his patient went for first, red being the most obvious choice considering his patient's mood, but there was also blue, black, purple, yellow and green soon in the raptor's hands, as he went through the door with five pages. The room itself was oddly large with a single table and a chair. It made one feel as if they were the only person alive in the world. It gave him the sense of privacy he needed as he sat down and slowly began to piece together an image.

Koopin merely sat outside, concerned for his lover and feeling rather frustrated at being unable to help him any further, looking towards Dr. Boostaf. "A-are you sure he'll be okay doctor?" "You trust him don't you?" "I do...but I dunno if he trusts himself is all." "You were quite concerned of him when you made the appointment with me." "Well it's like I said, he's been having these sleepless nights lately, shifting in and out of focus, it's like he's becoming more paranoid about things. He takes newspapers and puts them away somewhere, he's ashamed about something when I heard from a friend how he saw James crying to himself behind a bar. He wasn't like this at all in the...three years we've known each other, not even when he first came here he was like this...at worst he was aggressive only because he wanted to protect me." "I see." "But now he's got this...well...darkness about him. I can sense it, I-" "Let us not complicate matters with suppositions, Mr. Kennidon. We will reach the source of this matter soon enough." "I dunno...cuz now he's worrying me even more." "Why do you say that?" "He took a green crayon with him right?" "Yes." "...he hates green. Like the colour. Lime green. He wouldn't use that for drawing something." "Hmm...does he have a problem with your shell colour?" "Oh no, cuz he calls that colour leaf green, not that sickly pale lime green that he always hates." "Hmmm...all I know is that James' problem is not entirely rooted in his childhood." "No?" "He speaks too freely about it. He explains it all with a rather tired rhetoric as if he has explained it many times before. He's now no longer afraid of exposing himself as the violent youth he is, or once was. Even if he kept it from you. Perhaps he was just too tired to want to tell another person the same story again. I believe his problem may be more recent, but we'll see." "But," asked Koopin, "if he wasn't so afraid to tell anyone, why not tell me?" "...I am not sure. The fact he hides his problems from you is perhaps either he is too ashamed to expose it to you, or perhaps he sees you as being too worthy to not suffer with him." "Too...worthy?" "Yes. But I cannot hazard a guess, I am merely going off from my previous encounters with couples, we shall see soon. Ah, there he is." James soon returned rather sullenly with a handful of three coloured pages. Each of the three drawings he did not even speak on, simply showing them to both Boostaf and Koopin as they depicted separate scenes.

One depicted a red-winged beast of cruel thin body and a long piercing metal helmet that tore apart the brown lizard. One showed a crudely-drawn koopa sprawled out in an alleyway torn to pieces. And the final picture presented James, the little brown lizard, having something tear open from his heart. A black, purple, living demon of himself, the same model as the lizard was, grabbing the green form of Koopin who tried to tear away in fear. "You wanted to know how I feel?" said James. "Here. That enough for you to pick apart my head doctor?" "...I am not going to use these against you," said Boostaf. "This was merely to allow you to express yourself, you have spoken enough for today. We will arrange an appointment again, so until then, take care of yourself." "Okay." Koopin however was unable to do anything but look at James, his eyes dead and green while flatly staring at him. He desperately wanted to hug James. But before he had a chance to offer, James simply turned away for the exit, the koopa following after him wordlessly. They did not speak until arriving back home. All Koopin could say was: "...I'm sorry." "...what?" "I...I never knew. I never knew tha-" "Don't. Save it for our psychatrist." "Okay..." "You're not the one who should be sorry." "Wh-what?" He said nothing more, sighing heavily before going to bed. Koopin was glad that he decided to sleep in the house tonight, gently getting into bed with him as they both slept off together. His back was turned away from Koopin, who turned his back to him in turn.

As the session was next month, James continued his strange mysterious routine of heading to Rogueport and back again, all whilst keeping up the pretence of doing jobs for Roy's bar. Koopin did not object, glad that James at the very least was meeting him halfway in trying to work out his problems. His mood did not change, but at least he was talking to Koopin again, this time without anger. When the next session came up, Dr. Boostaf decided on a different avenue of thought. "Hey doctor," said James in greeting. "Good afternoon James. How are we today?" "Not bad, could be better." "He's not as angry as he was before," said Koopin honestly, "and we've been speaking to each other again, a little." "That's good," said Boostaf, "you are opening up slightly, there is no need to close your heart to us." "Yeah," said James. "Not like I can stop either of you now...sooooo you ready to hear more of the chronicles of James Campbell?" "Actually before we get into that, I would like to try a little experiment-" "No." "Hmm?" "No. Fucking. Way." James' eyes turned piercing with contempt, the doctor now trying to tread carefully. "...you have not even heard what I would like to-" "I don't want any fucking experiments doctor. We can talk, we can show me inkblots, but NO experiments." "Actually I was going to play some word association with you." "...oh." He slumped back in his chair looking rather concerned, pulling back in shame. "Um...I didn't understand, sorry." "That's alright, I should have chosen my words better. Now, how about some word association between the two of you? That way we can both see your two different mindsets, and through that we shall see a hint of what might be causing the rift between you two." "Uhh okay," said FG. "Sure," added Koopin, "that sounds okay by me." "Would you like to start off Koopin?" asked the doctor. "Okay, I'll start. Uhhhh...sun." "Bright," replied James. "Light." "...night." "Dark." "Evil." "Good." "Love." "Heart." "Mother." Koopin slightly blinked and tried not to look too oddly as he continued. "...father." "Missing." "Lost." "Darkness." "Fear." "Death." "Ah!"

Boostaf stopped them before they went any further. "Fear equals death to you James?" "...well...we're all afraid of dying, aren't we?" "Of course, that is a natural state of mind for mortal beings, but why is it so prominent in YOUR mind? I expected another more common fear rather than the overshadowing embrace of death." "I-i...I don't know, it just popped in me so what, I'm afraid of dying, who isn't?" "Very well...Koopin, continue if you please from what James last said." "Okay," said the koopa softly. "...gone." "Away," said James. "Journey." "Long." "Short." "Heh, fuse." "Snrkhehe, bang." "Boom!" "Hahaha, bomb!" "Bob-omb!" "Black!" "White!" "Sky!" "Cloud!" "Rain!" "Cold." "Snow." "Death." Koopin stopped and blinked once more, not entirely sure of what to say to that. Boostaf leaned in with a curious air. "You return to death once again James...why does snow symbolise that to you?" "Hmm...I don't...snow's never-oh, wait, no, I know why, my girlfriend died during a blizzard." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." "It's fine," shrugged James, "I don't care, just explaining it to you." "Very well." "I didn't know Daisy died in a blizzard," said Koopin softly. James turned his head sternly with blank firm eyes. "...did we really have to talk about her in front of the psychiatrist?" "I-i-i just, you never mentioned that!" "It doesn't matter anymore Koopin, that was years ago...like...six, seven years ago?" "Let us move on from this," said Boostaf cautiously. "I was merely testing your word association skills to perceive your mindset. Now, would you like to tell us more about your past life, James?" "Sure, I'll uh explain about Daisy too when we come to that, since I know you're dying to hear it." "Only if you consider it worthy of my attention, I only ask that you tell me about yourself. How MUCH you tell me about yourself is entirely up to you." "Alright...well, where was I?"

"You had just become apprenticed to Sarah at the bar in...Shikago, is that right?" "Yeah, Chicago." "What was the name of your home city, I never asked." "London, anyways, Sarah took me under her wing in exchange for not reporting me to the police after I tried to steal from her till, so she gave me a place to stay long as I did jobs for her. She was good to me, sometimes, cared for me, looked after me, kinda saw me like a son. ...actually I kind of WAS her son for a while." "Oh? How so?" "Well...she had like two miscarriages before, so she was all depressed and felt like she didn't deserve to be a mother, so she kinda went all hardass and stopped giving a shit anymore. Then she got robbed and was sick of everyone's shit so she decided to be ruthless, and beat up all the gangs around her so she could form her OWN gang." "Ahhhh so Sarah was a criminal?" "Pretty much, a wannabe mobster. She only knew this kinda stuff from these old OLD movies and pieced it all together to try and make the perfect clean criminal organisation. But she wasn't like evil or anything, she just wanted to make her community a better place...in a way that wasn't legal because the legal stuff wasn't working." "And what did you do during all this?" asked Boostaf. "Oh I wasn't involved in any of the criminal stuff, I just worked at the bar. Sarah didn't want me to be a criminal, she wanted me to keep my nose clean and just work my way around, taking small jobs and keeping legit. I knew what she was up to, but I was never involved." "What was her relationship like with you?" "...she was...somedays she was the closest thing I had to a mum. She would be kind, she would be sweet, she would give me advice and stay with me if I was having problems...she gave me everything I ever wanted. A home, a job, food, warmth...my first time in...bed." "...how old were you?" "...sixteen. We were kinda drunk really." All Koopin could do was cock his head with uncertainty at where this was going, turning slightly uncomfortable about this part of James' life as Boostaf calmly wrote down his notes. "And was she always like that with you?" "Oh we barely ever did it, it was...just one or two times when we were both upset and lonely and really needed someone. She still treated me well, she was wonderful sometimes, LOVED kids, she would always make sure that kids were never harmed or betrayed or abused in any way around her area. Gave them presents, looked after families with kids in the area by making sure they got food and money...and punish anyone who'd hurt them." "Punish?" "...she wasn't always nice. ...she...god, she could be the worst fucking monster."

James' hands started to shake, holding his hands to his face and struggling to cope with himself. Koopin reached out to put an arm around him, and he allowed him to without moving away. Boostaf asked: "If you do not wish to talk about this, we can move on." "Yeah...no...no I'm gonna tell you." He put his hands away from his eyes and placed them firmly before his mouth, gazing sternly into Boostaf's eyes. "I don't care about her anymore. She was a fucking bitch when she wanted to be." Despite trying to be vague about what Sarah could do to those that wronged her, he left enough details in to leave little to the imagination, as a vindictive sneer crept across his face. He spoke on how she ruled her organisation with an iron fist, and while she had good moral rules such as never deal with drugs or attack police officers be they good or bad, she also had her moments of cruelty. James spoke about the incidents that scarred him the most, the times when he snuck down into her private cellar to find her beating and abusing someone for a crime she reviled against. He never said what crime it was, more for Koopin's sake than anyone else, but it was enough to make her incredibly twisted. He would speak about the sleepless nights he suffered during these times, until he begged and forced Sarah to stop her torture sessions for fears of her becoming a monster, regardless of the crime. Boostaf was connecting all the pieces together. "Do you believe that because of your life with Sarah, that your ways of violence are her influence upon you?" "M-maybe...but that's not an excuse, that doesn't excuse me from what I do." "Do you believe you are a monster like she was?" "...yes." "...I see now. But this is in the past, long long ago, how long was it since you left your home?" "About...seven or eight years?" "Hmmm...so what recent event has come up that has caused you to remember this and make you feel that you are a monster?" "I-i-i dunno! I just...I just can't get rid of this feeling, I dunno what to do!" "You're not a monster." Koopin said this beside James, trying to smile through his pain. "You're not." "How do you know I'm not?" asked James. "Because I see how you are with people. Before this all came up, you were so nice to everyone. You treated me wonderfully, you're so thankful to my mom and dad, everyone at Roy's bar loves you, and what about that time when Mayor Kroop got robbed? You just went right out and chased down those thieves without a care!" "I still got my ass beat." "Well, what about that mailtoad who got lost in Forever Forest?! You went in without even knowing where to go, reckless yeah but you didn't care!" "I was stupid." "The climbers, back on Mt. Shiver!" "Also stupid, but I didn't go alone." "What about me? ...what about when I was kidnapped?" "...it was my fault." "No! No it wasn't James, you KNOW why! You saved my life, you didn't care what would happen to you as long as I was safe! What kind of monster wants to risk his life to save people?" "...the kind of monster who would kill just to protect you." "...wh-what?"

At that very moment, James suddenly convulsed. He fell off his chair and started twitching in agony, scraping his claws on the carpet and desperately trying to hold on. "James!" cried Koopin. "What's happening?!" "What's going on?!" cried Boostaf. "H-h-he he has these panic attacks, I-i-i don't know what's causing them!" "Why didn't you tell me before?!" "I DUNNO, I FORGOT!" "A-A-AAAAAAAAGH!" James' scream resonated throughout the building, his twitching intensified as his eyes started to flicker, muscles turning rigid as if about to snap. He felt his fears start to rise. The worst was yet to come and he had to find a way to stop it. "S-STOP, MAKE IT STOP! STOP IIIIIIIT!" "JAMES, IT'S OKAY!" "NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" He shoved Koopin away from him and desperately stood up, shivering with each clumsy step as he struggled to maintain himself. Eventually he saw only one option. Something bright and shimmering straight before him. It was the smallest glimmer of hope, and Koopin knew with fear what he was about to do. "No, no James, JAMES NO!" Without thinking, the raptor charged towards the window and tore through it with a shattering crash, piercing the ears of both Dr. Boostaf and Koopin from such a crackling cacophony of glass. The raptor had disappeared, but Koopin suddenly felt the need to make sure he was alright. Following the same rash decision, he leapt out of the broken window, and chased after James straight into the Forever Forest nearby, the guard nearby having been knocked out by James in his passing through. "JAMES! JAMES STOP! COME BACK JAMES! COME BACK!" He did not respond, disappearing into the forest with a tremendous speed for someone in agonising pain. The adrenaline rush of fear coursed through his veins, as his lungs burned out with heart-wrenching anguish to the point that he almost dry-heaved. He dared himself not to stop, begged his feet not to stop, as he tore off deeper into the glade. Koopin was just able to keep up with him, seeing a flicker of brown and purple from between the trees.

Eventually he lost him, the tracks running out in the dirt path deep within the forest, only to head through between thick shrubs and deep-rooted trees. Claw marks on bark showed that he had managed to clamber through the tightest reaches of the overgrown woods, to the point that he had separated himself successfully from Koopin. But he was not giving up, he wasn't going to let James suffer this alone. After a few minutes of searching, a screaming voice came from afar to lead him. "GO AWAY! WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!? I DID WHAT YOU WANTED, WE HAD A DEAL!" Koopin had no idea what James was talking about, his fear for his boyfriend's insanity turning more and more real as he came towards a clearing. A somewhat sunny clearing, the soft rays of light glinting down upon him which was unusual in the thick forest. James was on his knees on the other side of the clearing, looking down upon something long and metal in the short grass, screaming his heart out. "ALL I ASKED WAS TO GIVE ME SOME PEACE! ALL I ASKED WAS THAT YOU LEAVE ME ALONE, BUT YOU WON'T EVEN DO THAT! I GAVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED YOU FUCKING BASTARD, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" "JAMES!" The moment Koopin called out, he immediately regretted it. James turned to see his lover, his face sunken with both fear and agony as he tried to stand up. "Koopin...NO! NO KOOPIN GET AWAY!" "James what's happening?! Why did you run, what's wrong?!" "STAY AWAY KOOPIN! I DID THIS TO PROTECT YOU, WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME!?" "James, please, let me help you! I can't let you do this James, not on your own! You can't do this on your own!" "I HAVE TO KOOPIN! IF I TOOK YOU WITH ME YOU WOULD NEVER FORGIVE ME!" "Forgive you for WHAT?! ...JAMES! TELL ME!" "NO! I love you...I can't...I can't...n-no...no no please, don't make me do this! PLEASE, ANYONE BUT HIM!" A dark energy began to surge from James' body, as he began to spasm and fall once more. Deep black and purple shuddered throughout his being, pulsating like a vile heartbeat. Koopin had no idea what to make of it, stepping back slightly. "J-james?! JAMES! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" "...run Koopin. R-run...please. Please run!" "R-run?! Why!? What's happening to you?!" "It's for your own good! Just run! I-...I can't...a-a-aaaaaaAAAAA_AAAAGH!" "I'm not leaving you James! Let me help you, I- "_NO!"

The moment Koopin tried to step forwards, James shot out a powerful blast of wind from his fist, a nano surge striking Koopin in the chest. It wasn't harmful, but it was meant to deter him. Koopin however did not back down, walking forwards. "I SAID RUN YOU FUCKING FAGGOT, WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO MEEEE?!" Koopin did not listen, dodging anything that James would throw at him, furious sheer gusts of wind that tore through the trees behind him. Within twenty paces, the koopa now stood above James, his panting breaths ragged with fear and pain. He saw for some reason the rusty scissors now laid behind him. James had not brought them to the psychiatrist's ever, as he murmured pitifully: "Why...why didn't you run?" "Because I love you James. I'm not letting you suffer alone. Please...whatever you're going through, let me help you." "...I didn't want to hurt you. I-i didn't want to hurt them...I'm sorry." "Shhh, it's okay...it's okay just...let me help-" "F-forgive me." "Huh?" "Please...forgive me...for what I'm about to do." At that moment, James' eyes closed, and he collapsed onto his side on the soft grass. Koopin panicked and quickly tried to pull him back up, kneeling beside him and trying to shake him awake. "James?! J-james! JAMES WAKE UP! W-wake up James! What's happening to you James, please tell me! WAKE UP, PLEASE, I-HURK!" In his panicked screams, a hand suddenly grabbed around his throat. James' arm had outstretched without warning, claws firmly wrapped around his little neck and choking him firmly. The raptor's head slowly rose up with his body, keeping a hold on Koopin before standing up, eyes still closed. He lifted the koopa off from the ground with incredible strength, as he struggled and whimpered with fear and confusion. "J-...J-j-james?" "James does not live here anymore." His eyes opened once more. But what once had been green and vibrant like a forest, his eyes now turned black like ash.