Solipsism X

Story by SeraphXIII on SoFurry

, , , , ,

#10 of Solipsism (Old, see Certainty for update)

A story that follows the rough storyline of the Tamers series of the Digimon franchise, with a couple OCs mixed in.

Tagline of sorts: Break ups happen, life goes on. You get teleported to a fictional universe, life goes on. Life seems to be getting pretty interesting, or maybe I'm just losing my mind again.

Rated to adult for consistency due to language in later chapters. Explicit Chapters will be flagged in the title.

Will be updated on Wednesdays and Saturdays


Sorry for late upload, slipped my mind.

This ain't gonna be a happy chapter. Watch your step, there's some mildly disturbing shit after the first break.

I turned my head to find Raia in the door of the bedroom. I turned back to Renamon who was staring at me, and back to Raia, who was also staring at me.

"Shit." I said, standing from the bed. I walked through the doorway out into the living room. "Goddamn it. Only me. Only fucking me. I swear I'm the only person who could ever fuck up this hard."

The two Renamon followed me and Raia asked the obvious question. "What the hell is going on here!?"

Renamon decided to answer because I was busy pacing and cursing under my breath. "You died! He and I spent the last week and a half together. We love each other!"

"I crawled through the worst hell in the digital world to get back to him, and I'm sure as hell not going to lose him!" Raia started to snarl at Renamon. A fight was going to break out if I didn't intervene.

"Hey!" I yelled, catching the attention of both. "I'm a piece of shit and neither of you should love me! Raia, I still love you, but I thought you were gone! Renamon, I still love you, but I love Raia too! Goddamn it, how the hell did I let this happen?"

(Break)

A prey beneath her, she prepared to strike. She was newly born, just out of the egg, and yet she was so strong. It'd taken her only hours to progress to her Rookie form and she was so powerful. If she wanted she could challenge a weaker champion and succeed with some effort. And yet, she hadn't. This would be her first test of power, as all others had run as soon as she began fighting. This one wouldn't ever know it happened. That was her personal goal, deletion before her presence was even known. She dropped, a ball of ghost fire in each hand and landed on the Digimon, a Tapirmon, and pressed her palms down to its back, searing two large spots into it. The impact and burns brought the creature close and a Diamond Storm to the back of the head finished the job. The form beneath her shattered into data and she began to load it, but she stopped just before she did.

Why does this feel... wrong? She thought, pondering why she felt an urge countering what she'd seen in all other victors. A pain began to swell in her mind and she brought her hands up to her face, extinguishing the flames as she did. The pain grew until it was nigh unbearable and she gripped her face, muffling the screams of agony she was releasing out of reflex. She would never know it, but her mind was attempting to recover dumped memory from a past life. Biologically, neurons were firing in patterns they once had, but they had to carve new paths. The sensation was painful and rendered her unconscious, causing her to slump against the trunk of the tree she'd been hiding in.

Hours later, she awoke with fresh memories. They didn't flood her though, they were accessed normally, presenting something of a problem, as she would not be conscious of them until they were accessed, and she lacked the mental map she'd once had. The data cloud that still hovered in front of her gave her a good start though. She remembered a conversation with some creature about loading data, the memory of which triggered the whole event. She realized these memories were hers, from before she'd "died". In an attempt to map her memories again, she thought of her death and the conversation, noting a creature present in both. She pressed her thoughts toward him, and the clouds began to clear a bit.

She stood and checked her surroundings. For now, her mission was to track down this man, as he was obviously important, and perhaps more memories would resurface along the way.

She began to move, quickly flitting around, leaping from trees to the ground every once in a while. Her mind wandered to the conversation, gently exploring as much as possible. She remembered watching a Renamon and another creature, but not the one who'd spoken to her. The one she watched was named Rika, she remembered that. She remembered the horror of watching the Renamon load data. She ran over as much conversation as she could remember, but she couldn't find a name for the other creature, but she felt a strange feeling, a warmth, toward him.

She paused in a tree, perched high, as she explored her death, working backwards from the crash point, her memory's end. An IceDevimon had killed her with a few lucky blows, but she remembered pain other than that,before that. Lacerations covering her legs, and gash that severely hindered her arm. Her memory branched here, and layers of shame and sadness lined it.

She'd been out in the city for some reason she couldn't place, but shame was there as well, and she'd been attacked and thrown to the ground, and her arm came up to block a strike, causing a long claw to strike down her forearm. She'd tried to scuttle backwards, but claws swung in cross-hatched patterns across her legs, dicing them up. A look up to her attacker sent huge waves of fear through her, but she couldn't recall the face. The digimon was strong, easily capable of killing her much like she had the Tapirmon. Yet, he didn't.Instead, he leaned his face down to hers, silhouetting it against the night sky, and he said something.

She struggled to remember what he'd said; emotions had a strong grip on this memory, but that made it all the more primary in her attempts to map her mind.

"Hmm." A chuckle. "I can see why he likes you, but I think I should have you first." Lips were pressed to hers as a long arm, longer than the other, held her to the ground by her slender midsection. A long tongue slipped between large fangs and forced itself into her mouth. She'd hated it, but didn't fight, for fear of being killed. She was forced to endure this for quite a while, until the attacker stood from her, relinquishing his grip.

"Consider yourself lucky." He'd said. "I'm going to let you go now, but next time... well, you shall see." Wings flared out and the digimon took off flying. She'd run home, as best she could, that is, and entered her home, where the creature she'd felt warm for took care of her, which she was thankful for, despite the pain of the brown bottle.

Several day cycles later, she'd recovered most of her memory. She was Raia, and the creature, a human, was Caleb, her tamer. She had explored the warmth she'd felt, and found it to be love. She knew above all, she had to get to the real world. For that, she would have to find one, but lately, all the portals were in the dark regions of the digital world. She was on the border of one such dark area, preparing herself for the horrors within.

It took her days to get to the core of the dark area. She'd seen digimon from outside strung up, pierced on spikes, and lying near dead, bleeding out. The digimon she'd met along the way were not much better; they attacked her and they were the ones who'd tortured all the others. She had no remorse though. She deleted them with no mercy, even when they begged, which most did. They were sadists, but fear came easy when the power balance shifted. It was hellish, but it worth it. She knew she had to get back to the real world. She was needed, and she was loved there. At the very center, she found a portal which had appeared recently, and she leapt through it, feeling it close quickly behind her.

(Break)

Renamon and Raia were both in tears. I was pissed at myself for being so stupid. We'd been here for hours trying to sort this out. Raia understood that I was trying to move on, thinking she'd been gone. Renamon understood that I loved Raia still. And yet, I still loved Renamon. I couldn't deny my feelings for either, and yet I had to choose between them.

I sigh, sitting at a table with a massive headache. "I love you both so much, I wish I didn't have to choose." I place my hand on my face, on the verge of a breakdown. "And if I don't it wouldn't be fair to either of you! You both deserve better than me."

"I can't leave you," Raia said, her voice choking. "You're my tamer." I sighed deeply, pulling out her digivice and placing it on the table. I waited a moment and pulled out a second digivice and set it next to the first.

"I'm both of your tamers." I said. "We're stuck together."

"We may be stuck together, but that doesn't mean I have to like her." Renamon said. "I love you and you love me."

"I don't like you much either," Raia said pointedly. "And he loves me too."

"Please stop fighting." I said, emotionally drained. "I can't help how I feel, and I can't help what's happened. We just have to deal with this as it stands." Just as I finished speaking, the digivices began to go off.

No one moved, no one said anything. I thought for a moment and a realization came to mind.

"Shit. We have to go."

"Why?" Raia said, "The others can handle it."

"Not this one." I said, walking to pick up my deck of Modify cards and both digivices. "Things are going to start picking up, and whether you two like it or not, we're gonna have to help. So come on, we need to go."

(Break)

I walked up to see Henry be released by Yamaki. I went with my better judgement and decided not to say anything. I really didn't need to end up in a fight, because I feel like Yamaki wouldn't hesitate to take me on. Raia and Renamon warped in behind me and Yamaki walked off, on a tirade about tamers and their "pets". I dismissed him and turned to Henry.

"Ready for a fight?" I asked.

"I guess, but you know how I feel about that right?" He asked, making me realize that I hadn't spent much time around the other tamers. Terriermon had a strange look on his face, but said nothing. Henry hadn't noticed Raia yet, I guess.

"Don't worry," I said, looking up to the tower. "It's gonna get interesting, but we'll be fine. Takato's already over there, by the tower, let's get moving." Henry nodded and we ran to where Takato stood. He looked back at us and looked like he did a bit of math in his head, and I knew it wouldn't add up.

"Uh... where's Rika?" he asked, gesturing to Renamon, and then he saw Raia, who was taking her sweet time getting over here. "What the..."

I looked back at her. "Maybe I should call you Lazarus." She smiled and I turned back to the others. "Let me put it this way: it's a long damn story and we are short on time as it is." I pointed up to where Mihiramon was.

"Alright." The other tamers said, turning their heads upward. Henry pulled out his digivice and tried to scan, but it came up blank.

"What's wrong with this thing?" he asked and Terriermon leaned over it, obscuring Henry's vision with his ears. Henry pushed him back and we all saw the tiger walk across the screen.

"Who cares? What's he gonna do, bite me? We can take 'em! Ya ready?"

"Yep." Henry chirped in reply. Terriermon went to leap from Henry's shoulder but I was quick enough to snag him by the ear.

"Hey!" He yelped. "Easy on the ears!"

"You're not running in there just yet." I said, ignoring his complaint. "That thing is stronger than you think."

"Huh?" Henry and Takato said, but Guilmon sniffed the air and Terriermon perked his ears.

"He's right." Guilmon said. "Strong digimon."

"How strong?" Takato asked, looking confused.

"Ultimate. And a strong one for that level." I looked up quickly to see the tiger impatiently pacing around the building, dealing with anything HYPNOS threw at him easily. "We don't have the ability to reach ultimate yet, but we all know how to get to Champion, right?"

They nodded, pulling out cards and advancing their partners to Champions. I, on the other hand, focused on my bonds with Raia and Renamon as I pulled out their digivices.

"Two!?" Takato said. I grinned and nodded. The screens lit up and I looked back to find two Kyubimon.

"Raia, this is your first time, right?" She nodded. "Try not to get ahead of yourself." She leered at me.

"How did you do that?" Takato asked. "You didn't use a card!"

"Takato, this will help explain. Raia, knock the wind out of Growlmon, but don't hurt hi-" I was cut off as she dashed past me and slammed into him. Takato doubled over, falling to his knees. "Mental link. You feel what he does. Focus on the bond between the two of you, and you can do it too. For anything more, you need him around." I pointed to Calumon, who cocked his head and brought his hand to his mouth.

"We can figure that out later, we have an ultimate on the loose, remember?" Gargomon said. I nodded and told the Kyubimon to get moving over our link. Growlmon and Gargomon followed. I used the scan on Kyubimon's digivice to see and Henry and Takato did the same.

"We can't see that well, and they can't hear us, so keep your eyes open." Gunfire resounded and I could tell Gargomon was getting cocky with his guns again. I saw Raia and Kyubimon pacing around Mihiramon and both stopped and shot Fox Tail Infernos at him, Raia shooting a lot to distract him, and Kyubimon one large one, as I'd taught her with Diamond Storm. The large one hit him, but his tail formed the Tiger Rod and whipped at Kyubimon and I lost sight on the scan. I looked up and saw Kyubimon fly off the roof top and de-digivolve as she did. She landed fairly gracefully, but she was hurt enough that I held her back.

"Unless you can digivolve again, you're not going up there again." She looked down and I nodded, looking back up to see Gargomon and Guilmon, already de-digivolved, tumble from the roof. Instantly worried, I pulled out Raia's digivice to see she was using a technique I'd programed in, Ghost Armor. Key parts of her body were covered with ghost fire, lessening impact and actively healing minor wounds. She was playing it smart though, engaging in a pacing match with Mihiramon. I looked to see Takato face down, and realized he was going through his conversation with Guilmon. Keep him busy, I thought to Raia, Just buy us a little time.

Takato reached out and grabbed Calumon's hand. Henry helped him up and helicopters fired across the building, I felt stings in my legs, where I assume they were hitting Raia. Is that really all she feels?

Guilmon reformed into Growlmon and Takato pulled out his cards. "We haven't finished yet. Growlmon is still willing to fight and as long as I'm still breathing I'll be right there by his side."

"Damn straight." I said as I watched him pull out a blue card. He scanned it, digivolving Growlmon to WarGrowlmon. Raia, you're clear, get the hell out of there. I thought to her. Gladly. She thought back, launching from the roof as WarGrowlmon ascended.

The fight begun again and Takato brought his arms up, taking the hits as WarGrowlmon did. "I feel every hit." He said, wincing. "Alright, that's enough."

He took a step, looking heavily burdened, and appeared to take hold of something in front of him. "As your tamer I say finish it." He said, his voice as serious as I've ever heard it. "Atomic Blaster!" He yelled, as red beams pierced the sky. I grinned and WarGrowlmon jumped down. The other, future tamers came over and I began to walk away, Raia and Renamon following me.

(Break)

"Well, two of you dragging me doesn't make the process any more comfortable." I said, walking through the door. I turned back to the two Renamon and smiled. "And here I thought you two didn't like each other, but I saw ya working together up there."

Renamon blushed a bit and Raia simply smiled. "You're worth the trouble." Raia said. Renamon nodded.

"Well, hell, I don't know about that." I said, walking close to both and pulling them into a large hug. "But I do know I'm damn lucky to have you both." I involuntarily yawned.

"Time for bed." Renamon said, walking to the bedroom. Raia followed.

"Alright, you two get the bed, I'll take the couch." I said, laying down on the couch and falling asleep quickly. I heard protests to me sleeping on the couch, with both volunteering to take it instead, however, they fell on deaf ears.

I slept soundly up until an hour later, I awoke to find that both of them had come out and lay on top of me. I stood, extremely drowsy and half-awake, and walked to the bed room, and they followed me, grins probably ear to ear on both of them, but I didn't bother to look. I sighed and laid down in the middle of the bed and they laid down with me as well, one on each side.

"Call me Scarface I guess." I said, barely conscious and placing an arm around each, before passing out.