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February 1st 11:34:19, Alpha Particle Gained

Nervous. Paws sweaty. Can't Concentrate. Motor responses hesitating. I can't decide whether or not to go to this fraternity shit. I didn't act very nicely the other day at their party. No regrets. Alone in the apartment. I swear I can hear bumps every now and again. Maybe the neighbors are fucking. Footsteps coming up the stairs. at any moment anyone could enter this room. I feel a tingling on my shoulder. A spider has landed there. Sitting, quietly. Its as if the spider can talk to me, saying "You know its true." But, I don't know what it's talking about, or if there's a spider at all. it could just be the effects of the acid blotter I ate. I shouldn't have ate it at all. If the police come, I could beg them to take me to the hospital, to pump my stomach, to bring in an exorcist, to call in the air-force, to evacuate the city and nuke it with an atomic bomb and bury the remnants of the radioactive ashes of the city under 60 feet of concrete. The spider sticks its fangs into my neck, and I instinctively grab it and try to throw it. The spiders eight eyes are all looking at me. Each eye is independently judging my actions. I crush it in my paw, but when I open my paw to make sure its dead, it is hanging by a string in front of my face. MOTHER FUCKING FUCK! THE SPIDER'S VENOM IS EATING A HOLE THROUGH MY NECK. . . .and . . . calm. Almost Zen. I heard the footsteps again, there was no spider. there was no gaping wound in my neck. I wanted to get up and look out the peephole in the door, but I couldn't. The acid had me. My body was a slow wet mechanism that sat still as my mind flew away. I had five hours and twenty-six minutes before I had to be at the fraternity pledge class meeting; a super computer can calculate one trillion mathematical equations in one second, to that machine one second is an eternity. Ok... think. I am on a molten ball of rock hurdling through space at millions of miles per hour. There are a shitload of subatomic particles each set into outward motion and holding momentum from the explosion of the big bang. Thus, no matter if you move your arm, or leg, or nod your head, or choose to eat fruity pebbles for breakfast at 2:00pm, or practically rape a straight wolf at his own party, it was all decided at the exact moment the universe crashed into existence seventeen billion years ago. Thus, it is physically impossible for me to deviate --- [unintelligible scribbles]

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It was at that moment I realized I was no longer sitting in my apartment, but was in fact in the Grand foyer of the fraternity house eating spaghetti. I don't remember how I got here. There at 6 other pledges staring at me. One wolf, like me, well... probably not like me. His fur was gray an white. He had spiked up hair, and wasn't really built. He had a skateboard under the table by him. One was a black cat, his shifty eyes made me confused. He looked to me then scanned the others just to stare back at me. There was a fox, a smart one. He had glasses. Once he realized I was staring at him he darted his eyes as if he had some awkward schoolboy crush. There was a mouse, he had muscles. probably not that smart and his parents probably paid his way through college with their earnings from capital gains from the stock market; probably in some ridiculous stock that would never die, like peanut butter. Then there was a golden dog. He wasn't a wolf, like me or skateboard, the primal instinct had been bred right out of him through generations of soft living and a gentle touch. There was symbol on a necklace he was wearing that was supposed to symbolize God. Lastly, seated next to the clergy-dog, I saw a kangaroo, a goth, dark, his hair had been dyed black, and was long enough to cover his face he was looking straight down, but he must have felt my eyes because after a what felt like a few seconds, he looked straight up to stare at me.

The room was lit as if there was a dinner party. I was apparently the only one who had touched his spaghetti, because the rest of them sat there with full plates of the stuff coated in sprinkle cheese. The table was round, and we were placed here for a specific reason. There was one empty chair. We sat in silence for thirty more seconds before I had to break it.

"So... uh... you're probably wondering why I'm staring at you." I said.

To my surprise, the fox was the first to speak up. "probably for the same reasons as the rest of us. You're trying to figure out what in Toumal's name is going on. Well, with the exception of me, as for me, I don't even want to know anymore." The fox started to get up when a loud speaker came over us.

"SIT BACK DOWN FOUR-EYES"

The next one to speak up was the shifty-eyed cat. "I am wondering why you have a basket with bottle rockets next to you."

I looked down and saw the bottle rockets. I was confused. "Well, to be honest I don't even know."

The next to speak was the dog. "why are you bleeding?" he asked me. and he handed me his napkin from underneath his set of cutlery.

I took it and blotted my face. "I don't know that either." I took the cigarettes out of my pocket and lit one with my lighter.

"NO SMOKING IN THE HOUSE." The loudspeaker yelled at me.

At this point I knew two things. One, that I needed a cigarette, and judging by the looks of it, so did skateboard. And, two, that whatever was going on had to come to a logical and consistent conclusion; after all, there are only fundamental ideas to the universe, order, entropy, and never-ending cycle. I scanned the room. maybe this is a test.

"Where you guys invited here?" I asked politely, or as politely as I could given the nicotine fit my body was undergoing.

"yeah, some guy gave me this letter that invited me to a fraternity, or some shit... He said there would be food. But when I walked in you were the only one here and you wouldn't answer any of my questions, you just kept looking at the spaghetti, then you said it looked like the milky way or something..." said the Goth Kangaroo.

"what great help I am." I sarcastically said.

The fox chimed in: "Maybe this is a test?"

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Thirty minutes passed by a blink of an eye. I wasn't sure what to make of the situation around me. The fox could be right, but if so, what are they testing? I looked around the room for some hint, some clue, of what to do. The other invitees tried to get up to leave, but they were instructed by the loudspeaker to sit back down. What did I have? I had six other pledges, an empty chair, I had bottle rockets, and I had half eaten, cold spaghetti. The acid was definitely coming out of my system by now. I couldn't feel its strange aire filling up my brain, nor could I feel it coursing through my blood. I did what I could do first. I shoveled down the spaghetti. None of the other pledges had touched their plate, but thanks to my recreational drug-use, and my ridiculous trip, I had finished nearly all of it. I thought about how awkward it must have been for the other pledges to walk in while I was tripping face eating spaghetti. They were asking me questions and I would probably mumble something incoherent. According to the Goth I was the first one here, so I wonder how long I had been here for. After I had finished the spaghetti, I looked down to the bottle rockets. There were precisely six of them. knowing I needed a cigarette I took out my lighter and lit the bottle rocket. The other pledges freaked out, so I shot it behind me.

"WHAT THE FUCK? WHY DID YOU SHOOT A BOTTLE ROCKET IN THE HOUSE?!" the loud speaker screamed at me. I was a little aggravated and fed up with not having smoke going in and coming out of my lungs that I yelled back.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT! BUT I WANT A GODDAMN CIGARETTE!"

"you don't have to say G.D, you know," said saint mutt.

"YES THE FUCK I DO! IS THIS A TEST? LOOK I ATE MY SPAGHETTI! I SHOT THE BOTTLE ROCKET!" I kept yelling after snapping on the ignorant dog. "DO YOU WANT ME TO CHANGE SEATS?" I moved to the vacant chair and kept yelling. "THERE DOES THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY? I JUST WANT TO GO OUTSIDE AND SMOKE A MOTHER FUCKING CIGARETTE, FOR FUCKS SAKE! GODDAMNIT!"

I heard static on the loud speaker before I heard the footsteps coming from above us, then from the stairs. I turned to see who or what has been torturing me for nearly an hour, and who knows how long before hand.

"Then, by all means Mr. Thorium "Thor" B. Decay, step outside after excusing yourself from the table like a gentleman." said, quite calmly, by none other than the jock-y wolf, who I fucked like a common street whore and called 'name arbitrary.'

My heart started racing. He must know it was me. I didn't sign that bill, did I? He sure is dressed up. Where is Axel? My lighter is in my pocket again, right? Why didn't I expect this? Because I was on acid. My paws started getting sweaty again. I wonder if Axel knew his plan? What is his plan? I need an out. Deep breath, recollect my thoughts. and speak . . .

"Okay, then. Please excuse me 'gentlemen', I'd rather fancy a cigarette, would you care to join me good sir?" I motioned to the jock-y, black wolf, in a suit standing at the stairs.

"By all means."