Chapter 15 - Growing Up

Story by Jevin on SoFurry

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#16 of Cloakers Universe - Treading

And here's chapter 15! Sorry for the wait :)


--Naki--

In the past, whenever I felt I couldn't handle issues at home, I'd go to the pool. There was this public indoor pool my parents would let me go to before I had the one at high school. It's not always empty or quiet but noise doesn't really penetrate the water to a significant degree; I could rest beneath the surface and just think.

It takes some convincing but I manage to get Fen to come with me. We both need it, but he needs it most. Since school is still in when we arrive, it's mostly empty. A few muskrats are doing laps on the side opposite of where we are but they don't seem to mind us. It's nice being in the water again, it'd been too long. I really need to get back to doing this more often.

"Its been awhile since we did this," I say, looking at him. He's grasped to the metal rim of the pool's filtering system, floating there with the same expression he's had all morning. I know he's exhausted, and I fear he won't feel better anytime soon. When he doesn't answer I move over to clasp the edge with him and lean to kiss at his nose gently.

"I know nothing is gonna make this decision easier on you, but... whatever you decide, Fen, I understand. I'm really sorry you have to make this kind of choice. I wish I could do more to help you make it."

"Yea," he says gently, lowering his ears and looking across the pool to the muskrats jumping in and out of the water. I reach forward and tug him into me, hugging him as firmly as I can. I don't really know what else to say. I could go on forever about how "it'll be okay" or "things will eventually get better". I don't think it'll help, though. His dad was right: There's nothing good about this. There's no bright side, there's no silver lining. Whatever decision Fen makes, he sacrifices something important to him. I feel his arms wrap around me and I smile a little, nuzzling between his ears and heaving a sigh.

"Thanks, Naki," he says gently.

Instead of talking about it more, I try to get him to swim around with me. He's still got it, at least. I mean, he's still a gup, but he's one of the better I've seen. We spend at least an hour just splashing and swimming, reminiscing about high school. It's funny how the problems I'd had only six months ago seem so small and silly now. Especially since I hardly really talk to most of the people I'd gone to school with. I keep in touch with Motley, Loraine, and Samson the most. All of my other friends and schoolmates feel like distant memories even if it really isn't that long ago.

"What's your funniest memory from high school?" I ask. He looks at me for a moment before twisting his muzzle. At first I think he's unhappy about a question like that at a time like this but then a huge grin suddenly appears over his face.

"There was a time when Sy got a little too brave," he states, laying back on the water and floating, eyes staring towards the ceiling. "There was this cat named Ralph that Sy used to like. So we were all at Ralph's place for a party one night and Sy decided to try and get Ralph to... y'know. I was too busy with Ian and Sam so I don't know how much they'd been drinking, but I'm sure it was too much. I remember them going upstairs after a point and never coming back down. I woke up and couldn't find the 'coon and... well we were kinda weird, especially Sian-- and he was drunk so I got a little worried and decided to give him a wake up call"

He shakes his head a little, giving a soft chuckle. "I didn't know it at the time but Sy had gone to see what it was like in one of Ralph's shoes while the cat was still asleep; figuring he probably wouldn't be awake within the next five minutes. He was a bit wrong and had only just gotten in when Ralph began to stir. My phone call came just in time; Ralph grabbed Sy's cell phone and, seeing the 'coon wasn't next to him, exited the room thinking Sy had already gotten up and left. Sy snuck out of Ralph's shoe and into one of the closets to put his cloaker on again while Ralph came out to find just me, Ian, and Samantha. To this day Ralph swears Sy wasn't there before. He told Ralph the hangover must've gotten to him. Ever want to see Sian blush? Just mention Ralph. Never fails to fluster him. I've never seen him so pink beneath the fur in my life as the moment he walked out of Ralph's room. We had a lot of weird mis-adventures that we never told our parents."

I chuckle, shaking my head. "How did you two manage to keep it a secret all that time?"

"Well, a little luck I think. Especially since Ian could've spilled it any time he wanted," he says.

"Yea, he's a good guy. I'm glad you had friends like him to help keep you safe," I say, suddenly recalling prom night when the mouse approached me about Fen. We both stop talking for a while; the ruckus, stories, and giggles dying down into us simply floating there next to one another. The muskrats leave to shower and we're left to the dull hum of the filtering system. I'm glad I got him to forget about it even if it's only for a little while.

"My parents want to go run to a Requoran settlement outside of Neotria," he says gently, ears lowered again. I look over to him from where I'm floating.

"What? You mean... that's their plan?"

"Yea," he says gently, looking around for a moment before sighing. He keeps his voice down but speaks clearly enough that I hear him. "A group of Requorans have been gathering people to flee Neotria and try to start some sort of settlement outside of the Neotrian government's jurisdiction. They're going to use a small boat to sail to Puero. Since it's not owned by Neotria they won't have to worry about the government. On top of that, the Lomese government seems a bit more sympathetic to us. They're hoping to settle there and eventually negotiate something with them instead. They've already found an area they think is suitable and they have supplies to last them for a while. It'd be a new land for Requorans. One where we... well, maybe if we're there then Neotrians will leave us alone. We've learned a lot from you guys and dealing with predators wouldn't be so hard anymore. We could build something there quietly and maybe one day have a land of our own again. I don't know how they think it's going to work but it's true that we're out of options at this point. We stay here and end up enslaved, dead... or we leave."

"I see," I say gently, looking at the ceiling again. "What if we find you guys? I don't think they'll like you trying to set something else up. They'll just think you're doing the same things as they said your subterranean cities were doing."

"If they invade Puero, they'd be encroaching on land they don't own. It's outside of Neotrian government influence."

"I just don't know that that'd stop them," I say. "So... are you gonna go?" I ask, looking at him again. "I mean, if you think it'll work then it does sound good. A place to call your own where we won't... where we won't jerk you around anymore."

"I'm thinking about it," he says. "We'd eventually have to negotiate something with the Lomese government but that's a better chance than we have here, I guess. I'd be part of the first group of Requorans to start anew. It'll be hard but it would also... be nice to kind of, y'know, show Neotrians that we can adapt and that we're not going to just take whatever they feel like hitting us with."

My heart sinks a bit. Honestly, I want him to stay with me. He's not wrong, though. If he stays here then he'll remain oppressed. I can't protect him from that. "I told you that I support anything you choose. If that's what you want then... do it. Who knows? Maybe I could visit after a while."

"Maybe," he says gently. "I don't want to leave you though Naki. And a lot of Requorans might suffer here. We can't take too many with us, it'd be too risky. We're running away is what it boils down to."

"Running isn't always bad."

"But it hurts to leave what you know behind."

"Yea," I say.

We spend the rest of our time just enjoying one another's company. The more I think I'm seeing Fen for the last time the less I want to leave the pool. Eventually we have to go back, though. When we make it to his parents' house again, Khole is speaking to Sy while the adults are packing and getting ready for tomorrow. I notice Fen's mom give him a glance but she doesn't say anything. I wonder if Fen's dad told her what he told us this morning. We go to sit next to Khole and Sy for now, though all of us simply sit there quietly.

We don't talk about much, though Khole tells us more about what's going on in the western counties. I will say that I -am- happy we've been able to avoid much of the violence and aggression. If Valan is the worst thing that happens to us, especially considering the stuff going on now? I could handle that, I think. The afternoon fades quickly to evening and night. We try to play video games or things to pass the time without thinking too hard about what's to come. Every minute that ticks by, though, reminds me that I might be that much closer to never seeing my little wolf again, so I start to become anxious as it gets later. Eventually, I just can't hold it anymore so I reach to rub at Fen's left arm after we finish one of our games.

"Let's go for a walk?" I ask and he nods quickly, standing with me and moving towards the door. The cool Fall air is welcomed; it helps calm me down some but isn't enough to keep me from panicking a bit. We move in silence for a while but, eventually, he starts to speak.

"I still don't know what I want to do," he says gently. His eyes glow an orangeish yellow from the street lights reflecting off of them. I clasp his hand more firmly and grimace, wanting to tell him to stay. I know it's greedy, I know I'd be asking him to leave his family behind but if I have to watch them leave tomorrow I might actually lose it. What's the right answer.. what's the logical answer? Well, I know what it is... but I don't like it. If you love someone then shouldn't you always want what's best for them, though?

"I'm really happy you trusted me enough to come back that night, Fen." I smile a little, heart pounding at what I'm about to do. "Being with you these last six months has been everything I could've wanted. I'll never forget the time we spent together..."

He shifts to look at me for a moment. "What're you saying?"

"I'm saying..." my pulse quickens and I start to hesitate. This isn't what I want, but it makes the most sense... I think. It's what's best for him. "That your parents have been with you your entire life and I've only known you for half a year now. I'm... I'm saying that the best decision here is for you to go with them and... leave Neotria. It's not what I want, don't take it that way. I'd love it if you stayed but... what if there's nothing for you here? What if Natbur does something stupid like try to kill you all? What if they kick you out of Phalance? What kind of life would you have here? You'd have me and, believe me, I'd be happy just to have you... but I don't want you to live your life stagnant. I don't want you to have to worry about things like going out in public or living in my pocket. That's not a life... not one I'd want to put you through."

He stares at me for a while; eyes shifting subtly, ears splaying, tail sinking a little. I can hardly bear to hold my gaze on his. "Thanks, Naki," he says gently. He leans up and presses to my muzzle and we lock for a brief kiss. I wrap my arms around him and squeeze as tightly as I've ever before, and he returns it. It feels nice. Ironically I feel the most connected to him right before I might lose him forever.

"I know what I'm risking if I stay but... believe me, you're more than worth it. Whatever problems we have... I want you to know that I don't regret anything we've done. No matter what happens tomorrow; whether I stay or go, this has been worth it. All of it." He smiles, pressing his head to me again.

We walk around until it gets too late. Everyone's house lights have gone off to signal that they're in bed. There are hardly any cars in the road and even nocturnal, feral creatures seem to remain silent. I can't see too well at night but Fen holds my hand and helps keep me on the path back to his home. By the time we return, everyone else has already gone to bed. I feel a bit bad for leaving Sy and Khole behind but I'm happy I got to spend at least one last evening with Fen. We both sleep in his bed with me spooning him. I can't help but hold him extra tightly even as I drift off. I'll make these last few moments count.

--Fen--

"Fen? Time to get up, get ready to leave." I groan, looking around the dark room. I see Sy has already gotten up and Khole is settled on the pallet Mom created for him on the floor. He looks at me for a moment and I'm not sure whether his gaze is sympathetic or apathetic. It doesn't rest on me for a long time, though. He shifts it back and stares at the opening to the room.

"What would you do?" I ask Khole, staring at him. I feel Naki still sleeping behind me. One arm is beneath my pillow and the other tucked around my torso. I wonder how he slept like that. Khole twists to look at me again.

"I've already done what I'd do," he says gently. "I'm staying here."

"But you're not sad... leaving your parents?"

"I didn't leave my parents," he says gently. "My parents left me. I don't have any good advice for you, Fen. No matter what, though, we all end up leavin' the nest at some point. Sometimes it's forced and sometimes it's by consent. At least you get to choose which one it's gonna be," he states before giving me a small smile. "I picked my path after that. I've been walking it since."

I stare at him for a while before I understand. "I'm sorry to hear about your folks... I thought you sa--"

"It's a story for another time." He puts his head back, closing his eyes and sighing gently. "I'm over it, so you don't have to feel bad for me. I will say that I don't think there's a right answer."

I lower my ears a little and slip out of Naki's grasp without waking him up. I don't know what to do but I have to choose something soon. As I make my way downstairs I see our bags all packed and ready to go. It reminds me of when we used to go on family vacations except this one is permanent. Sy is already down there, eating breakfast while my parents and his are sitting, relaxing for what's probably the first time in a few days.

"Hey," I say, trying to sound light-hearted even if I'm the opposite.

"Morning, Fen," Mom says. Dad smiles and gives a tired nod.

"Mornin' lad," Sy's dad states, staring at me for a while before he peels his eyes away.

"Your dad told us about what you're thinking about doing," Mom states. I don't know how to respond but her expression never becomes negative.

"I understand if you want to stay, Fen. Both your dad and I have decided that we'll support any decision you make. We're both also sorry it's you that has to deal with the pressure. You've put a lot of energy into defending Naki and so far it seems like you're not wrong. He's a sweet guy an--" her ears perk right along with my own and Dad's.

There's a noise outside-- someone's walking up the path towards the house. Dad stands quickly and moves to see who it is. Apparently, he doesn't recognize the person because he locks the second lock slowly and waits to see what happens.

There's a knock shortly afterwards but none of us say anything.

"Anyone home? I'm from the secretary and I've got something important..." I recognize that voice.

"Look, I know someone is home, there're a bunch of cars out front-- but just take a look at this and decide if you want to talk to me. I think you'll want to know more."

A paper slips beneath the door and Dad reaches to pick it up. He looks at us, then down at the paper; scanning it over for a few minutes before he reaches to open the door, revealing Mark.The Neotrian feline we'd met during registrations. He looks around for a moment, seeming a bit surprised at all of the people in the room. When he sees Sy and I he gives a gentle wave. "Hello, glad to see you guys are okay," he states before turning his attention back to Dad.

"What's this supposed to be? Is this a joke?" Dad asks, leaving us all to wonder what's going on.

"No," Mark says, face taking on a more serious expressions.

"I know it's a bit sudden but we only just got this information yesterday. We've been scrambling a bit to try and find ways to get it out to Requorans in the area as effectively as we can. Since there didn't seem to be any better way, I and a few of my coworkers decided to take a day and go house to house to help spread the word."

All eyes rest on Mark. Well, except for Dad's. His are scanning the sheet of paper Mark slipped beneath the door.

"The jist of it is that there are some really important stipulations to those executive orders that have not been well publicized. What I wanted to tell you all is that, if nothing else, your two boys here are immune for now. They can't be legally excluded. In fact, at least temporarily, they -are- legally to be treated as Neotrians. The flyer I just gave to you guys has written on it an outline for how exclusion is going to work. It also outlines who must be excluded and who is allowed to stay."

We're all quiet for a moment before Sy speaks. "What does it say? What're the stipulations?"

I turn to see Naki and Khole walking down the stairs. I'm standing in front of the stairwell so I move and they both walk into the room. Naki, of course, shifts to stand next to me.

"What's going on?" Naki asks and I point at Mark.

"We're finding out."

"Well," Mark says, looking around at us all for a while. I bet he's wondering why we have all this stuff packed. "The executive orders that were signed are only to be applied to Requorans that have no Neotrian family, and are not registered as um... pets or servants. Through Les Gardiens' shelters or other shelters like them, for example. Additionally, Requorans who were born on Neotrian soil and given citizenship cannot be legally excluded until the High Court has issued a ruling about whether their citizenship is legal or not. That is, the High Court is still deliberating and, until they are finished, your two boys are safe. That last part came up this morning. The High Court issued an injunction."

"What about our parents?" I ask.

He stops for a moment, then lowers his ears a little. "They must follow the exclusion order, unfortunately. At least to my knowledge, unless you fall under one of the other two stipulations. Although you two are considered citizens," he says, looking at me and then Sian. "Your parents are not protected under the family-member clause because yours isn't a full citizenship."

He pauses for a moment. "I also want to say I'm sorry for what you'll have to go through. After registering as many Requorans as we did, some of my co-workers and I couldn't help but feel that we should do what we can to ease this process. This is one thing we felt we could do. We thought people may not read it if we just posted it-- or at least not all of it. I have more homes to visit before the end of the day but if you have anymore questions..."

"No... thank you," my dad says, reaching out to shake Mark's hand. Mark gives a somber smile and shakes with Dad before he turns to leave. I see him give a little gaze back towards Sian and I.

"Goodluck to you guys... and again I'm sorry for all of this. If you ever need any information pertaining to the law or the exclusion process you know where to find me," he says to everyone. "Please take care of yourselves."

"Thanks, Mark," I say, winning a wave before he leaves. After the door is shut, Dad looks down at the poster for a moment.

We're all quiet while he does, but it only takes a moment for him to begin speaking again. "Looks like a number of Requorans are excused for now. If you're married to a Netorian, if you were born here, if you're registered as a slave..."

"It's not bad news," Mrs. Connerly says, looking at Sian and then me. "They've never recognized us as anything before. This is the first time this has ever happened." She hesitates for a moment. "You two could... still attend college."

"Aye, but we couldn't be here. We'd still have to leave," Mr. Connerly states. He crosses his arms a bit, staring down at the floor. We all fall silent again.

"This reminds me of our last few days at Les Gardiens," Mom states gently while shifting her gaze to look at Dad. "Remember? After we were captured and trying to figure out how we could escape. Our parents decided to stay because life on the outside had just... been too hard. They were tired of running, tired of struggling... so they decided we were all going to settle there. Les guardians even promised to keep us together. We'd all go to the same Neotrian family and live beneath them with our parents. You and I didn't want to. We decided that life beneath a Neotrian wasn't what we wanted for ourselves or the kid we planned to have. Instead of staying, we went with Gillian and Mitsuna," she says, looking to the two raccoons now. "Even now we don't know what happened to them. Can't ask the shelter because they might try to capture us again... We made our decision, though. We thought we'd be happier on the outside. We'd find a way to make it work and we did. I don't regret any of it. It was a tough decision, but I think you, Fen, and Sian benefitted from it. You've both experienced what so few of us get to. I can't speak for Mitsuna and Gillian, but, for you, Fen, maybe the best choice is to stay. You're still young and you grew up here. This is the life you know. You have a shot at becoming a citizen and maybe what's best is you remain here and fight for that... because if you get it, if you manage to obtain that then you'll have accomplished what no other Requoran has. You and Sian have a chance. A chance that no other Requoran has ever had. A college-educated Requoran Neotrian. Plus, despite all of our warnings, you've fallen in love with a Neotrian." She looks at Naki for a moment. "It'll be tough, but for the first time it seems like... we might have a shot." Her expression falters a little and she brings a paw up to rub at her eyes. Dad pulls her to his side and nuzzles into her head gently, whispering something that's too quiet for me to hear.

I still don't know what to do and I feel another adrenaline rush coming on; chest pain, quickened heart rate, trembling knees and hands. Naki seems to notice since he reaches to grab my hand, holding it firmly and pulling my arm to his torso. I look up to see his smile and can't help but smile back a little despite having to blink and repeatedly rinse the tears from my eyes to avoid crying.

"I think I agree," Mr. Connerly states, but looking at Sian. "Whatever you want to do, lad. We're behind ya. Right, Mitsy?" He asks, looking to his wife who looks down a little. It's hoarse, but I do hear a "Yes" escape her muzzle. She clears her throat a little.

"What're you going to do, though? If you guys leave we're not gonna see you again... will we?" Sy asks, looking between his parents and mine. Naki and Khole remain silent.

"There's always a chance," Mrs. Connerly says.

"But probably not," my dad mutters. He sets the poster down, now wrapping his arms around Mom and sighing. "What's your choice, Fen?" He asks, looking at me.

I wouldn't have to hide, I could stay in school... I could stay with Naki. I lose my parents, though. Probably my home, too. Naki's paw squeezes at mine and I look down at the floor. I don't know what to do.

"What do you think, Sy?" I ask, turning to look at the 'coon. He looks at me for a moment, then shakes his head, staring away and peering outside. There's no good answer. No matter what, we lose something. My chest tightens even a little more.

"I'll stay if you do," Sy says. That's a great help. We all go silent again. All that's audible are cars driving past outside and the television, though the volume on it has been lowered to the point where you can hardly hear what's going on. I recognize the voices from the show, though. True Lives is on.

"Just stay," I hear suddenly, causing me to look up at my dad. My eyes stay on him for a moment.

"What?" I ask.

"You want to stay. The only reason it's a hard decision is because you don't wanna lose us. Everything you know is here, though, and you're an adult now. Christine and Mitsuna might be right; this is a once in a lifetime chance and its fallen squarely into your lap. Plus you don't want to leave him," he says, motioning to Naki. "Despite us forbidding, despite us trying to tell you it's a bad idea; and it was a bad idea, despite us reminding you of the dangers of revealing yourself to Neotrians, you've stuck with him. You've put so much energy into being stubborn about this that we've butted heads nearly every time the topic comes up. You're growing up, you're trying to do things your way. I suppose I'm saying that staying here isn't necessarily a worse choice than trying to leave civilization altogether."

I feel Naki shift a little. I can even feel his heart rate quicken somewhat after my dad finishes speaking. "I told you I don't want to leave you and Mom, either. I don't want to lose contact with you guys, I don't want to wonder what's happened and imagine that you're hurt or... worse."

"Trust me, if we got into a bad situation and you were with us then it wouldn't be any better or worse for your presence," he states. I frown a bit at that.

"You're saying I wouldn't be of any help..."

"I'm saying that it's different living outside. Just like it's different living here. You trust them so easily," he motions to Naki, "while your Mom and I can barely deal with having one in our home until recently. You should've seen the first time my boss invited us to his house for dinner. We spent the entire week trying to decide if we were going to be the dinner... if he'd found out about us somehow.

I admit, that makes me chuckle softly even through the sadness.

He lets go of Mom and moves to rub over my head with a paw. "We grew up outside, you don't have to worry about us. We know how it works out there. You, though... If you're so set on trying to make this work with him... then I think you're ready; I know you are. All you ever do is argue with me anymore anyway."

I start to feel a bit bad. "I know, but it's not because I don't care."

"I'm not saying you don't care," Dad mutters.

"He's saying that you two are comin' into your own. You're making your own decisions," Mr. Connerly says.

I go silent.

"I wish there were a way to stay in touch. You guys can't use your cellphones or something? Or send mail or... anything?" Sy asks.

"Probably not early on, lad. Once we're gone we'll have to go silent until we've worked something out with the new landlords. We hafta be certain it's safe before we try to do any communicating outside of the group we'll be with," Mr. Connerly says.

"Everything about this sucks," Sian mutters.

"Could I talk to you for a sec, Naki?" Dad asks suddenly, motioning as he moves towards the back door. I look at Dad for a moment but he doesn't return my gaze even as he walks past Naki and I.

"Sure," Naki states, letting go of my hand. He starts to follow, I notice an uncertain glance shoot my way as he passes.

--Naki--

I'm conflicted. I want Fen to stay and I'm so so happy that he's exempt from these orders. Even so, whatever happiness I feel is dampened when I think that his parents will have to leave him behind. That he might never see them again. I keep trying to understand what Fen must be feeling as I follow his dad. We walk into their backyard-- it's pretty big. Along the edge is a wooded area and I think I can see an old tree house somewhere among the backdrop of trees.

"Perk up, you got your way," Mr. Luwinfe states. I look at him, then divert my eyes a little, feeling even a little worse.

"I didn't want him to leave you," I say defensively.

"But you want him to stay," he says, taking a few steps out into the cool Fall weather. It's snowing a little, pretty early in the season for it but it's nothing heavy.

"Of course I do... I want you to stay, too."

"I'm not trying to give you a hard time. Maybe this is for the best anyway," he states, looking down for a moment.

"How do you mean...?" I ask.

"Fen and Sian aren't used to living outside of a house. They've always had a home, shower, three meals, warmth, and friends. Living outside is different. It's a different kind of hard than living here. At least here they're familiar. They'll find a way to cope without us. I dunno, might be too fast to get our hopes up about their becoming citizens but... to have the High Court step in and protect some of us..."

"I... guess," I say gently. I still feel bad. He's losing his son and even if it's not my fault I still feel partially at blame. If I weren't here maybe Fen wouldn't have argued so much. "I'm sorry any of this is happening. Are you sure you won't consider staying? Even if you don't trust me Fen could protect you guys."

"No, we'll be fugitives if we stay here. If they catch us anywhere near Fen then I don't know what they'll do to him. It's not an option."

I nod a little, looking down at the ground and shifting my feet a little and frowning to myself. There's no way to make this work, huh?

"But that's not why I wanted to talk to you." I look up as he speaks, freezing a bit when our eyes lock. It's uncomfortable, I fight the urge to look away again.

"You say you love Fen. Whatever I feel about that doesn't matter. If I'm unable to stop him from hanging out with you while I'm here, there's no way I'll be stopping him when I'm gone. Before I leave, though, I want to hear something from you: Why do you like Fen? And does it have anything to do with his being a Requoran?"

"Why do I like Fen?" I say gently, feeling my heart rate climb as I become anxious. I know he's about to leave and that, most likely, Fen will be with me at the end of today... despite that, I still want to prove myself for some reason. I want him to know that I haven't been lying for all this time.

"Well, yea, it does... kinda. I like Fen for everything he is, including the Requoran part. I didn't even really think I could be gay until I met him. It's just... something about the way we interact. He's accepted me for all of the warts and flaws and he's never once made me feel like I have to be someone else around him... which is something I did a lot in high school. When we first met it was... almost like he just wanted to be there. With me. And I felt the same way. That's why I decided I didn't care if people might think of me differently for being gay. It'd be okay as long as I were with him. It's just hard to describe. I enjoy being around him and I want to continue being around him..."

His gaze stays on me the entire time I talk. By the time I'm finished I almost feel like I dragged on and on about something that should've only taken a few words. "Who knows," he says with a gentle sigh, looking off to the side. "I do kind of wonder now... how many Neotrians found out that they have friends who're Requorans? And how many of those remained friends afterwards. Maybe that could make the difference in the end. Do any of Fen's other Neotrian friends know?"

"Uhm," I start, not certain Fen would like me to be the one to tell them if they don't know about Ian and Sam already.

"We're going to be gone soon, not like it makes any difference," he reminds me.

"To my knowledge, Ian and his girlfriend Samantha know. And since I found out, Motley and my friends Loraine and Samson both know. Ian and Samantha have known the longest, though. Apparently, Ian found out when they were still in elementary."

"I see," he states. "I thought something like that may've happened... And of course he'd never tell us." The wolf seems just a little sad for a moment but he doesn't stay on the topic. "Naki? He's really important to us, alright? If he trusts you then there's not much we can do but trust you as well at this point. Take care of him. Keep an eye both him and Sian, alright? They can be reckless, especially when they're together. You probably know as well as I do but Fen is stubborn... apparently he got it from me. There are a lot of Neotrians that harbor negative feelings towards us and some of them are willing to deceive a Requoran just to capture them. Be weary of the people he meets. Most of all, though, just... do what you've been doing. It seems to make him happy."

"Of course I will," I say. "I promise, I'll keep him safe as I can." I'm tempted to agree on the stubbornness but decide it's probably better not to. "Thanks for trusting me... it means a lot."

"I don't have a choice," he says, giving me a look before his gaze softens a bit. "But you have been a good... boyfriend to him. You're either the most deceptive and patient Neotrian I've ever met... or a sign that some Neotrians deserve more credit than I normally give."

I smile a little, shifting on my feet. "I'm sorry this happened," I say a bit suddenly. "Fen... told me about what things were like for you and your wife when you were young. I'm sorry... for whatever happened to you. I can't imagine how hard it was... or is for you guys. It's wrong of us to do the things we've done to you. I can understand why you have such a hard time believing I'm not out to get him. Especially considering what I've done before... which I'm doubly sorry for... and... you won't regret this. I hope we run into one another again someday so you can see." I hold my gaze on his, trying to read his expression, trying to show him my sincerity. I can't keep it up, though, so I look away, shifting uncomfortably before I feel his paw clasp my shoulder and pat a few times.

"Let's go back in, alright? I wanna talk to Fen before we have to leave." As he walks past I catch a glimpse of the smallest grin.

When we get back in, Fen and Sy still seem to be mulling the question over. The fact that his parents seem okay with him staying, though, has me cautiously optimistic... as bad as that may sound. I hate that this is the situation they're in. I honestly wish I could just take them all in. I leave them to have their time together, though, realizing it's likely their last few moments... assuming Fen will do what I think he will. They move to find a more private place to talk while I go to sit next to Khole, who's sitting at a table playing with what looks like a hilt for a dagger or something.

"What's that?" I ask.

He looks at me for a moment, then back down at it. "Was my parents'. I guess all of this is reminding me of them," he smiles a little. "I keep it around; Memorabilia."

"Why a dagger?" I ask gently.

"It's what they gave me. Just about the only thing they gave me," he says gently. "So I keep it around to remind me of them."

"I... wait, so... they're..."

"Dead, yea," he says gently.

"Then who're the people you were staying with before you came here?"

"Guardians. After my parents died," he says gently. "Long story. That's why I'm not so heartbroken about staying here. They're neat people, the couple that took care of me while I was a teen. I'm happy I have them... but they're Neotrians so I don't have to worry about their safety. Whenever I go back, they'll be there for me."

I stare at the lighter-furred otter for a moment longer before giving a soft nod. I can understand not wanting to say a thing like that when you first meet someone. It's still a little surprising, though.

"Sorry to hear about them. I'm glad you'll be staying with me, though. It'll be good to have you, Fen and... I'm assuming Sy around. I think it'll make it easier on those two if not you as well."

"I think so too." Khole smiles. "They have really sweet families, I'm sure it's going to hurt a lot to let something like this go.

"Yea, I only hope I can fill the void a little while he recovers from it..."

It's only about another hour before the four adults return and are dragging their bags towards the door. Mr. Luwinfe hands Fen and Sy each a bag. Fen looks at it for a moment, then towards his father. His eyes are red and his ears and tail are lowered. I know what decision he made now, I just wish I could help more.

"Those have everything you need to know about what we talked about. Use the money to get you through college and don't worry about the house for now, we will take care of that. Just keep an eye on your school mail. Anyway," Mr. Luwinfe grabs the bag he handed Fen, holding it in his paw. "Everything is in here, so read through it all sometime next week."

Fen nods, wiping his right eye with the back of his hand. "Find a way to let us know you're okay," Fen says gently. He's trembling. "Alright? Call us or... send a letter or find a computer and email us. Whatever it takes..."

Mrs. Luwinfe lowers her tail and walks over to hug Fen. "If we find a way to contact you two safely, we will. You know we will. We love you, Fen, and we're proud of you. Be safe, hun. You too, Khole. You three stick together."

"Aye, take care of one another. Whatever happens," Mr. Connerly states, reaching out to hug Sy. The two families embrace one last time.

"We love you, hun. Always remember that," Mrs. Connerly says, licking at Sian's cheek. He tries to smile, wiping one of his eyes a little.

"Yea, you too. I love you guys," Sy says. After we get outside, Mrs. Luwinfe comes over to me and holds her arms out. We hug gently.

"Its been... interesting, Naki," Mrs. Luwinfe states. "I don't know if we've been justified in our lack of trust in you. Maybe you really are as nice as you seem to be. If you're genuinely a good guy... then I'm sorry for the way we've put you through the fire. I wish we'd met more Neotrians like you when we were young."

I hug back, squeezing just a little. Figures that it takes this for me to finally get a little close to his parents. Still, I'm happy they're deciding to trust me even if it's under the grim circumstances it is. "You had good reason, I don't blame you for it... thanks for coming around, though. I'll take care of him, don't worry." She smiles, then moves to go get into the car with Mr. and Mrs. Connerly.

Mr. Luwinfe is next. He holds a paw out and I reach out to shake his hand. "Be safe," I say. "And... my door is always open."

"It's appreciated. If we do take you up on it, I imagine we'll only be over for dinner," he replies. Before I can react, though. He pats my shoulder and smiles at me for the first time ever. It's a tired smile, but I'll take it.

"Take care, otter." He turns and grabs his bags before walking to the car to finish loading up before getting in himself. The engine turns on and paws exit the window to wave at us.

Fen and Sy walk most of the way to the car before stopping and waving in return.

"We love you!" Sy's mom states.

"You guys take care of one another. Don't worry about us!" States Fen's mom.

Mr. Connerly just smiles for a while. "We're damned proud of you boys."

As they begin backing out I walk up behind Fen and wrap my arms around him. I can feel him shuddering, sobbing a little. It turns into crying as the car starts to drive away, so I hold him even more tightly for a moment before grasping his hand and leading him over to the porch so we can sit down on the stairs. I just pull him into my lap and hold him as closely as I can. Sian joins us after a while, sitting next to Khole, and rubbing his eyes with the occasional sob. Khole rubs his back while I comfort Fen. I'm really glad he's here... I fear Sy would've felt left out if it were just me.

"It's okay, let it out, Fen..." I say gently. "I'm here, and I'll always be here, okay? You'll always have me. That won't change."

It takes an hour to get them to the point where I feel alright with getting them inside. We move from the porch to the living room still filled with a lot of the stuff I imagine Fen grew up with. After another half hour or so, I notice he's not crying anymore but I know his mood is ruined for the day. He's talking to Sy quietly in the living room; Khole and I just let them have space for now. I stand in the kitchen with him, making something for us to eat before we head back to Phalance.

"I just wish I could've helped it somehow," I say, shaking my head a little.

"They did what they thought was right. There's nothing you could've said to change their minds. They'll recover, it just takes time," Khole responds, helping me make the sandwiches.

"Yea," I say gently.

"You asked what experiences I was talking about earlier. In Kupai," Khole states, pressing the top of one side of bread to the other. "Losing family members or ending up having to scrape by wasn't so unusual. Lots of Requorans around here-- with cloakers, especially, seem to think it was some paradise. In reality, Kupai is every bit as corrupt as a Neotrian city. In Kupai, if you had connections, wealth, or power... then you lived well enough. Anyone below that was forced to live at the whims of those above. I feel bad that Kupai had to go this way, but the fact of the matter is that it wasn't a great place to begin with. I kind of hope we move on from it, to be honest."

I finish making the last sandwich and then peer at Khole. "Was it really that bad?"

"If I asked you who the leader of the Requorans was, what would you say?" He asks me.

"I... don't know. Do you... have a leader?"

"We have a few self-proclaimed leaders. In the cities we had... well, for all it's worth you could just call them monarchs. Usually they were just the guys that'd managed to accumulate the most power."

"Corrupt Monarchs?"

"Think Natbur except, to impeach him, you have to go through the military."

I can't help but smile a bit at that even if it's sad. "What're you trying to say?"

"I'm pointing out why I'm not too surprised about what happened. Requorans-- we have no organization. Kupai and the other subterranean areas were filled with people trying to get by every day. At best they'd gripe about Neotrians and at worst, if they had the power, they'd actively target Neotrians as a way of garnering support amongst the lower classes. No one is looking out for us... not even us." He picks two of the sandwich plates up.

"What do you think could be done about it?" I ask. He stands there for a moment.

"I don't know. It'd be nice if people on both sides would just start being reasonable, though," he says before starting to walk towards the living room. I follow him with two more plates. We eat lunch in mostly silence. It's good that they're not crying anymore, at least. We'd need to leave soon, I think. The longer we're here the more it's just going to hurt and we're all already behind on school work. Maybe when we're back we could invite Ian and Sam over or something. Maybe being surrounded by people they know will help a bit.

After lunch I make the suggestion. Surprisingly, no one disagrees. We lock the house up and make certain everything is secured before exiting. Maybe I can get my parents to come check on it every now and then-- or at least see how Fen feels about that. If robbers get wind that Mr. and Mrs. Luwinfe are gone I don't doubt they'd simply start taking.

As we make our way to my car, Fen stops to turn and stare at his home for a moment longer. I know we'll be back here again someday, but it'll never be the same as it was before. I wrap my arm around his shoulder and hold him close, staring along with him.

"I'll bring you back whenever you want," I say gently. "And I'm sorry it turned out this way... I'm here for you, though, okay? So... just don't feel like you have to deal with this on your own." I state, looking down at him. He gives a little nod, pressing into my side a bit more firmly.

"Thanks, Naki," he says gently.

The drive back is quiet as I could've predicted. I'm glad it's not a terribly long one. On the way, Rory calls Sian. That does perk him up a bit. Sounds like he was worried after what happened and Sy disappearing. Even Fen seems keen to hear the small conversation they have.

I know the next few days-- maybe even weeks are going to be the hardest. I don't know that whatever pain this causes Fen will patch itself up entirely. He might carry it for the rest of his life if we never see or hear from his parents again. Maybe I should be more proactive about his rights. I... don't know where to start, but I know I don't want this to happen again. I know I don't want to see him like this in the future. I said I'd find a way to protect him before but now I see that it'll be a lot harder than I thought it'd be. I'll figure something out.

--Fen--

"That's screwed up, Fen," Ian states over the phone. I told him I'd call so I did. "You need anything? How's Sian taking it? You two should come over. I'll cook or something."

"You'll cook?" I ask.

"I can cook," he says defensively.

"It's... I don't know," I say before sighing. "Sian... we're both doing our best all things considered."

"It won't be easy, but remember you've got us so make sure you guys talk to us if ya need to."

"We will," I say, smiling just a little.

"Good," he states. I hear him sigh a little. "I'm really sorry, Fen. I wish I could do more to help ya. Although, I did find some space we could set our instruments up. Maybe we can get together and play again sometime soon."

"That'd be nice," I say.

"Good. Also, we're gonna stop by after classes tomorrow so keep an ear on the door."

"I will. Maybe we can break out Xenohunter or something?"

"Ohh, that'd be fun. Definitely. Anyway, I gotta go get dinner with Sam. Take care, Fen. Remember what I said."

"I will. Later, Ian." I hang the phone up and sigh. I don't quite feel like hanging out but... maybe I should. Better than moping around all day, I guess. I know it won't help me get over it, but I can't help but go over what happened that day in my head. Most of all, though, I remember what was said after Dad and Mom took me up to their room to talk... right after Dad was done speaking with Naki.

"I don't know what to do," I said, looking at the two after Dad closed the door to their room. I was already trembling from the adrenaline and opted to sit down so I wouldn't have to feel my legs quiver beneath me.

"But you have to choose," Dad said, looking to me. "We have an agreed time to meet up and we're already going to be late."

"Can't you just stay here? We'd make it work somehow..."

''It'd be too much of a risk," Mom said. "If they found us then they'd come after you and Naki for hiding us. Who's to say that those of us that were registered but never reported to an exclusion zone won't be hunted down at some point?"

We're silent for a moment. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do.

"Come with us, then," Dad says. "If you want us to choose for you, then just come."

I frizzle a little, curling my fingers a bit in my lap. "What'd your parents say when you decided to leave them?" I asked gently.

They both took a glance at one another before my dad spoke up. "They told us it was a bad idea and that we'd end up on the streets again. They said we'd be found out. They protested right on up to the evening we left; they said we were leaving them, they said we didn't care about them... It was only at the last minute that they accepted it. We had literally minutes to hug, say goodbye, and then never see them again. It was the hardest night I've ever dealt with."

Mom nods a little. "I hate that we're unable to show them what we've managed to do. I hate that you never got to meet your grandparents. There are still evenings when I wonder what happened to them."

I'd never heard this story from them before. I try to imagine how hard this would be if they were saying the same things to me right now. It must've been really hard on them; I don't think i could've dealt with it. "You really think I wouldn't be of any use if I went with you?"

_"That's not what I meant before," Dad states. "I just mean... you'll have to learn. Every day will be a learning experience for you because your entire life will have to change. You've never had to live it and that's a -good- thing. Of course you'd be useful, of course we'd love to have you with us but... I guess because of our parents we realize the kind of decision you're trying to make. That's why we support you either way. We want you to do what you think will make you happiest and... I'll admit I don't know what's going to happen once we leave. We have a plan but they never work out the way you want them; especially not in the wilderness. You should get to choose what situation you want to handle. Neither of them are particularly... predictable." _

I remember thinking about what I want. What my goals were in making it through highschool and getting into college. I want to have my own home, family, job... I want to play video games, watch movies, hang out with my friends... I want to find a way to fight for Requorans. I didn't want to leave my parents and I still don't. What would I do out there, though? The question drew a blank for me. Maybe I'd only be a burden-- not that they wouldn't want me out there, but... I really have only ever lived in a house, with my cloaker.

"I'll stay, then," I said, feeling my heart leap in both joy and terror. I never knew I could feel both of those things as a single emotion. In that moment, they both held me close.

"We learned to adapt when we went off on our own. You will, too. It'll be hard... for all of us. We have faith in you, though. You'll make us proud for certain."

My ears press down as I think about them and how I may not see them again. The tears start welling up again and I have to reach for one of my t-shirts to dry my eyes with. I can't believe they're gone. I can't believe that, if I go back to my home, they won't be there. I wonder where they are, I wonder if they're going to make it. After a few moments of drying the tears I try to open my school email, I need to keep my mind off of them plus I haven't checked it since I left.. President Leary, the president of the university, issued an email a couple days ago on Monday.

"It is a difficult time for the Nation and my deepest, most sincere hopes go out to those most heavily affected by the new laws being put into place. To our Faculty and Administration I ask that you have the utmost understanding and respect for those who will lose their loved ones and who are, themselves, to be excluded. Please show support for them if you are willing and, if you are unwilling, please hold your peace until things have settled. Compassion is important to show in times of hardship."

A few emails up there's another from him. I open it as well.

_"Today I have a little good news for our Requoran students. There are some caveats that may indemnify you from the effects of the two Executive Orders. _

1. If you have family members that are Neotrian-- That is, if you are related to a Neotrian by marriage or by blood. (This does, unfortunately, exclude marriages that were recognized after Registration began).

2. If you were born in a Neotrian hospital and therefore a citizen by birthright.

3. If you are registered as an Indentured servant to a Neotrian. (Like marriage, this excludes those recognized after Registration began).

Then you are within your right to remain here at Phalance and continue your studies. There is a chance that this will change in the future, but know that I will stay on top of what's happening in order to make certain all of our students are aware of their rights and that all of our students are respected. I am sorry to those students and their family members who are not protected under the above constraints."

I can't help but smile a little. One day I will have to try and find a way to meet President Leary.

An email from Crotsley catches my eye and I open that one next. Sent just this morning.

"Mr. Luwinfe,

Please find attached the homework you have missed during your absence. The university has informed me that you are among the Requorans that has the choice to remain with us and so I expect to see you in class. If you are not in class, simply know that you are missing out on important material and that extensions will not be made for you to finish your assignments. These, and the rest of the work for the week, are due Friday.

Best Regards,

Dr. Crotsley"

I frown a little, I knew he just wanted to fail me. I shut my laptop and bury my head in my hands for a moment. I can't look at homework right now, I can barely keep myself from kicking a hole through the wall.

There's a knock on the door and I put my stuff away, stuffing the bag beneath my pillow and sliding out of my bed. I try to fix my fur up but I know some of it is still disheveled from my sleep.

"Sy?" I call out. Motley and Naki are in class; Sian and I decided to take another day off.

"I'm coming, who is it?" He calls back from the bathroom.

I look through the peephole and see the familiar face of our RA, Rory.

"Rory," I say before opening the door to find the bat with his short, orangish mohawk standing there with a worried look.

"Hey Fen," he says gently. "Is... it okay if I come in?"

I nod a little and move out of the way. "Yea, come in." I close the door behind him before following him towards the living room.

"I uh," he sighs a little. "Is Sian here? I wanted to talk to him, too," he says gently.

"I'm here," Sy states, walking out of bathroom.

"Hey," Rory says. He shifts on his feet a little, seeming to think of what he wants to say. "I... I'm sorry for what's happened. I'm glad you guys seem to be okay, though. I was worried when you suddenly left after the news."

I sit down on the couch, crossing my legs and stare off at one of the walls. "Yea," I say gently. I don't feel so okay, but I don't want to seem unappreciative. Rory does seem like a nice guy.

"Only just," Sian says. "We uh..." he frowns. "We're only okay because the High Court is deliberating on whether we're citizens or not."

"What a load," Rory mumbles. "I mean, I get that they want to be certain nothing's going to happen but Requorans like you two aren't a risk." He sighs a little. "So I... I guess you guys might have to rush back home again if that goes sour?"

I cringe a little, not really wanting to talk about that. Apparently he notices it.

"If I ask something you're not comfortable with then lemme know. I'm not here to make it harder... I just don't understand exactly what's happening and you guys are... well, the only Requorans I've ever gotten to know a little."

"Our parents... had to leave. They're gone," Sy says gently, ears lowered. "They aren't citizens... and the courts didn't protect them."

Rory's eyes widen a bit before looks away. "Guys... I'm really sorry. I'll... I'll hold off on this, give you some space to recover..."

"It's alright," I state. "Maybe... maybe it's best we don't keep quiet about it. I mean, at least... not with Neotrians we trust," I say, looking at Sy. The raccoon smiles a little and gives a nod.

"Yea, you're cool, Rory. Ask us anything."

He hesitates for a moment before giving a slight nod."Well, alright, if you guys are okay with it. Just stop me if I go too far... So you two are the only Requorans in our dorm and I know the timing is a bit... weird for this kind of stuff but with everything going on I wanted to know if there's anything we can do. Y'know, to help you feel safer around here? Do you feel safe? And, well... even if it's something to do with the campus. I know you guys have had Naki, Motley, and sometimes even me walk around with you on campus. It was a good idea, havin' someone to walk to engineering with has been pretty fun." He smiles a little to Sian before continuing. "I... also wanted to inform you that if you'd prefer to stay in the Requoran-only dorms then we've been given permission to transfer you after the fall semester finishes up. We'd all understand, things've been rough..."

"I think we're okay here," Sian says, looking to me. I nod to him a little.

"Naki would never go for it anyway," I say with a little smile.

"Yea I didn't figure. We're supposed to mention it, though, so I wanted to make sure I did... and sorry for bein' a bit abrupt but I think you and Naki have somethin' really special. Even moreso considering what's goin' on right now. It's really brave of you guys."

I blush a little. "Thanks," I say.

"No problem. Anyway, was there anything we could do to help you guys out more?"

"Not off the top of my head," Sy states. "I think you're doing a good job of it all things considered. Maybe in the future some of the dorm meetings could be focused on Requorans? Y'know, people can ask us questions-- maybe screen the questions beforehand, and get some of that off of their chests. Let them get to know us so it might not feel like we're strangers or something."

"That's not a bad idea." The bat rubs under his muzzle for a moment. "We could do it the other way around, too. Requorans can ask questions of us. Might get a little awkward, though. We'll have to see about that."

"Yea, it'd... probably be something for another year or next semester at the earliest," I say.

"I think we should get some Requorans to become RAs," Rory states. "Then as the years go on they can pass their experiences down to Requorans that come in in the future. I do wish we had more in this dorm. It kinda sucks that you two have to deal with everyone's curiosity an' misunderstandings."

"Or outright maliciousness," I mutter.

"We talked to Valan," Rory says. "I know he doesn't have a great opinion of you guys but I think he'll be leaving you alone for now. Pretty much I told him that he has a right to his opinion but that you two are off-limits. If Alex or I see him harassing you we'll have him out of here and possibly the school in half a heart-beat."

I grin a little at that. "Really?"

"Well, I don't know that we have that kinda power but I'd certainly try. Phalance has... a soft spot for Requorans. Or, at least, Leary does."

"It seems to have worked so far. He only ever talks to Naki so maybe he's been purposefully keeping away from us," I state.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it." Rory stands and stretches a bit, spreading his wings and giving a little yawn. The span is massive; much larger than I thought it'd be.

"Can you fly with those?" Sian asks.

"Fly? No... no," Rory sighs, staring at his right wing for a moment before folding them both in again. "I wish. We can glide pretty well, though. Sometimes we hold races-- they're pretty fun."

"That's awesome, so you jump off of some high point and glide to a finish line?" Sy asks.

"Pretty much. You should come along sometime and watch. We usually do it in the Spring. I should get going, though, I only wanted to come and see if you guys are okay and don't need anything. My room hours are beginning soon so I need to get back."

"Thanks for stopping by," I say. "And for looking out for us."

"No problem, it's my pleasure. Oh! And remember the party if you guys are up for it. I understand if you'd prefer to take it easy but you're more than welcome," the bat says with a smile.

"We'll try to make it! We should chat more, too" Sian says. "It's always fun when we get a chance. Especially walking to The College of Engineering."

"You know where my room is; feel free to stop by even if you don't need anything. I'd love to just sit and chat," he replies before giving another wave, smile, and then exiting. This leaves Sian and I alone and the overall mood dampens again.

"I hope we can get through this, Sy," I say gently. "I just... I don't have the energy for anything."

"Yea, I know. Me neither. We'll get through it, though. Just have to give ourselves some time to recover, right?"

"Yea, that's probably right," I reply.

When Naki does return, he walks right over and kisses my nose. I give him one right back.

"You okay?" He asks, as he's been asking every other hour-- or at least that's what it feels like. I can't blame him, I really don't know the answer. Since yesterday I've been going from calm to upset to any other range of emotions in only seconds. I have to try and keep my mind off of the things I know will leave me feeling bitter or angry or sad... or all three.

"Yea," I say gently. I don't want him to worry because... I don't know that there's anything he can do about it. I don't want him to stress out or feel unhappy because I am. Especially if there's nothing he can do.

"How was your day?" I ask. While he answers, I climb into his lap and slip my cloaker off. At least I can still do this. Once comfortable against his belly with his palm pressed over my legs and my hands resting on one of his fingers, I heave a little sigh.

"Beign wasn't happy about my absences but I explained. He seemed to accept it, at least. Who knows, though. Sometimes you can't read that guy." He slips a finger up my stomach and pets gently over my clothing. "Did you email your professors?"

"No," I say with a gentle sigh. I was supposed to. I should.

"Let them know what happened. They -have- to understand. Maybe they'll give you more time," he says.

"I know... I will," I say half-heartedly. "Its just... been a little rough today."

"I know." He presses me against him a little more firmly with a finger-- a sort of hug. "One step at a time, right?"

"Yea," I say. I do eventually get around to emailing them to ask for more time. The next day I don't really feel like going back but I go anyway. Naki comes with me to class and walks all of the way this time. He might sense I'm still off. I appreciate it, though. The more I talk to people the less my limbs feel like mush.

"You decided to come today, Fen," Dr. Crotsley states when I approach the classroom with Naki.

"Mmmhm," I say, otherwise ignoring him, turning Naki and giving him a hug. "Thanks," I state. He hugs back a little and I do catch the confused look on his face when I release after our embrace, but I just walk into the classroom anyway.

Dr. Crotsley takes a while to enter. I don't know if he's talking to Naki or not. He doesn't say anything when he does finally come in to get class started, though. My mind wanders a lot during the lecture and I only realize that I've not been taking great notes about halfway through. I try to focus and listen in but it takes a moment for me to figure out what he's talking about. Luckily, he doesn't call on me at all. I wholly expected him to.

"Fen?" I hear his voice as I'm packing up at the end of class. While the other students shuffle out I walk down the stairs towards the front of the room, stopping as soon as I stand next to him. He's not as tall as Orin but he's certainly taller than I am.

"Yea?" I ask.

"You'll need to finish your late assignments by the end of the week but I'll give you a small extension for your homework today. You have until Monday, but that's as much as I can give you."

"Thanks," I state. Part of me wants to tell him what happened and ask him to just lay off for a while. Another part of me doesn't think it'll help and a third part thinks it might actually hurt me. I turn to leave.

"Fen?" I twist my head around, stopping mid-step.

"I'm sorry about what happened," he says gently. "I know it'll be difficult to deal with. However, getting behind in your work will not ease the problem. I expect to see the work finished and on time, alright? Stay focused and remember why you're here. I'm sure you can do it."

I frown a little at that. I guess he did talk to Naki... or maybe it's just a good guess. "Right, no excuses," I mutter before continuing towards the exit of the classroom. I feel his stare on my back as I leave but don't take another glance.

Sian seems to perk up a bit as Rory's party creeps closer. I can't help but dread it a bit myself but I don't tell him. It's nice to see he's excited about it. I try to get some work done but I keep ending up distracted. Every time I sit down I just stare at the problem or my blank solution page. Sometimes I start a problem but end up frustrated and erase the answer. I take to solving the easy ones so at least I'll have something finished but once those are gone I start playing videogames or go to sit with Naki. I need to overcome this somehow, I need to focus again but it feels impossible sometimes... and it pisses me off. I try not to tell Naki, though. He's already worried enough. Every time we meet up he asks me if I'm "okay" and every time he asks my answer is the same. There's nothing he or anyone else can do anyway. I'd just have to find a way to get over it. I'd have to find a way to accept that this is how things'll be for a while.