Forgive Me 11 - Tavis
#11 of Forgive Me
DISCLAIMER: Because every story needs one. This is a work of fiction. This chapter has M/M love, kissing, cuddling, and gay relationships. No sex though. If you are under the legal age (18/21), it is illegal for you to view this material, or you are offended, you may leave. Otherwise read on. Any resemblance to real people/places/events is purely coincidental in nature. All characters from the series, unless otherwise specified in all parts in existence and from this point forward are copyrighted to Thomas Andrews (tapanther). Permission is given to copy the story for personal viewing, so long as the text remains unaltered. You may not post this story elsewhere without the author's (me) consent. If you wish, send me a PM/email me for permission. I'm sure it will be granted.
PLEASE READ:
NOTE: Due to me being to lazy to put the coding for italics, all mental notes/thoughts will be in some form of brackets. Ex: [It's been so long since he's been this lively].
By the way, sorry for the delays, but I've been a tad busy with other things. I'll try to write more often, but you can probably expect more delays. (again).
Here it goes, Part 11 - Tavis (finally?)
"Well, it's starting to get late, we're gonna head on home. You two can go to the club if you want; invite that McCain guy, he'll love it."
"McKeller, and maybe. Have a great night. I'll have Puppy here call you tomorrow; maybe we can all go on a double date."
"James . . . ugh, why do I even bother?"
"Because you're adorable, that's why Puppy."
[That James really is a handful. I just hope Chris can keep up!] We stood up and waved goodbye, and walked out of the café. David was grinning from ear to ear, which for a fox isn't too surprising.
"What's on your mind?"
"Chris and James, they're going to have a lot of fun together, I can tell."
"Oh? More than us?"
"Oh of course not you silly panther!"
"So, got any ideas for what to do tonight? I mean, we've got work tomorrow, but there's still a few hours left in our night."
"Hmmm, I don't know. We could take a stroll on Century Park, maybe feed the swans a little."
"Uhhh, probably not a good idea. Remember the last time we went to feed the swans?"
For a second, David looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face, which quickly turned into a stifled laugh. [Of course, I just had to get attacked by a bloody swan.]
"Heh, you mean how you got beat up by a bird? That was hilarious!"
"I did not get beat up by a swan! I merely got pecked a few times."
"In the ass! And hah! You ended up running away little a little kitten!"
"Hey, hey, hey! I'm an engineer, not Feral Control!"
_I just shook my head while David giggled. He's such a cute fox, never really grew up, or at least, not too much. In the end we decided just to go home and spend the few hours we had left in bed together, just talking and cuddling. Cuddling with David is such a unique experience, at least I think so. He's so small compared to me, yet somehow he fits perfectly against my chest, so his head rests upon the crook of my neck. He loves cuddling, and we can spend hours together, feeling the slow, rhythmic rise and fall of each other's chest.
"Tavis? Sweetheart, what are we gonna do if you're dad ever shows up again?"_
"What? Why wou- what makes yo- what do you mean? And what brought this up?"
"I had a nightmare the other day, that your dad showed up and took you away from me. What would we do if he came back again?"
The room suddenly seemed to get ten degrees colder. David didn't like talking about our parents, and always avoided the subject whenever it came up. He must have been really worried about it to bring it up like this. Worse still, David's voice was slowly becoming more and more frightened and distressed.
"Why would he come back? He made it perfectly clear he didn't want anything more to do with me. Besides, how could he take me away from you?"
"I dunno, but in my nightmare, you said you didn't love me anymore, and never wanted to -sniff- see me again."
I put my arm around him, and pulled him tight against my body, slowly stroking the fur on his back to try to calm him down.
"David, nothing could ever make me stop loving you, nothing. I'm not going anywhere without you. I love you. Alright?"
He just sniffled and gently nodded his head against my chest. I could feel some tears wet my fur, and felt a tingle in my eye as a tear rolled out and ran down my face. [Damn it David, only you get me this emotional.]
"There, there, it's going to be alright. Nothing's going to happen, just trust me."
-weakly- "Okay. I love you too Tavis."
I gently kissed the top of his head, and smiled when I saw David's ears fold down in embarrassment. He had the cutest embarrassed smile on his face, so full of childlike innocence. It was in these rare moments when I could see just how beautiful David was inside. Beneath his adult exterior lay that spark of innocence, that little glimmer that age takes away from most of us. [Great, now I'm not just emotional, I'm poetic too! Damn fox, had to be so perfect.] It took a few minutes, but we finally managed to cheer up a little. Of course, David being David, wanted ice cream to cheer up all the way. We go through a quart of ice cream every week. I don't know how he does it, but he just devours it all and doesn't gain a pound. I took out two bowls and served us a few scoops, though I gave David more since he loves the stuff. I took it back to our room and watched his eyes light up at the sight of ice cream. He's such a child at heart, especially when we're home alone. But that's exactly why I love him.
-Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!-
[Ugh, bloody alarm clock.]
-Yawn!- "Wake up David, David!"
"Ummf, just five more minutes."
"You say that every day and you end up sleeping in for half an hour! Not today, you're getting up one way or another."
"Nah ah."
David just shoved his head under the pillows and tried to go back to sleep. I quickly grabbed him and lifted him off the bed, cradling him in my arms.
"Whoa! Mmm, this is nice. Somebody's feeling good today."
"Yup, slept great last night, plus I think I had a dream, but I can't remember what it was. Think it was something about Chris and James and you, but I'm not sure."
"Oh? Was it a raccoon and a wolf getting in on some hot foxy action?"
I just shook my head and carried David into the kitchen, setting him down on our little table. While I prepared some scrambled eggs with ham, David gathered all the paperwork he'd need for the day, as well as some of the blueprints I'd brought home to study. The best thing about our work was that anything David came up with I got built, so that if any snags or questions came up I knew exactly where to find the creator. We chatted all through breakfast about an upcoming safety inspection and personnel review. Wasn't much to worry about, we hadn't had any major problems in weeks, and the work load was easy for the time being, so we were both in a great mood by the time we left. As we drove to work, David started talking about an idea he had for a new aileron assembly, and I listened in to see if I could spot any problems that might arise in production. Every now and then, I snuck a peek at him, and saw the grown up David, the man keenly aware of his responsibilities and duties. And yet, every time I looked into his eyes, I saw the young kit, just waiting for a chance to come out and play.
Work went surprisingly smoothly. David's new schematics came in for me to proof, and the floor was just putting in the final adjustments to some prototype for an engine cowling, so there wasn't much to do. Not just that, but as supervisor, I really didn't have to do much around here even on the busy days, just keep people in line, make sure whatever we're building matches the blueprints. Since the floor didn't need me, I decided to duck out and go see David. Well, duck out's not the right word, more like . . . go consult the engineer. [Yeah right, consult, more like make out with the engineer.] As I headed out to make one final round on the floor, I heard the PA ring out.
"Attention. Tavis Kenningcot, please report to your office, you have a call waiting. That will be all. Thank you."
[That's weird; no one ever calls my office. Why didn't they call my cell?] I rushed to my office; any call there was bound to be urgent. Companies don't call me, they call marketing or called up Szabolcs, not my office. Now that I think about it, last time I picked up that phone it was to use the intercom to play a joke on Marcus. I was starting to worry, since everyone who could possibly need me would call my cell, that phone was there just for show. I put my hand on the receiver, and took a second to catch my breath. All sorts of thoughts were running through my head. [Well, I won't know till I pick up.] I took a deep breath, lifted the phone, and pushed the blinking orange button.
"Tavis Kenningcot, how can I help you?"
"Tavis! It's Chris. I'm at the police station, and I'm just wondering if you had any family in town."
"Wait, what? No."
"Hmm, last night James and I came out of the club and found an older panther passed out drunk on the floor. No driver's license, no wallet, nothing. There's not many panthers around here, you usually prefer the colder climates, so we were wondering if you knew who he was. He's still passed out in a spare cell, better than an alley. Sides, that's plain drunk in public, gotta process him when he wakes up."
"That's weird, well, to be honest, my family and I aren't exactly on speaking terms. Last time I spoke to my dad . . . well, you remember that talk we had the other day?"
"Uhh . . . oh. Oh, I'm sorry."
"Not your fault. Well, if it is dear sweet old dad, then let him know he can go fuck himself for all I care."
"Well, I'll let him know to stay away. I'm sorry to bother- one sec, don't hang up."
[Well this is weird. He's right about the panthers, but there's no way its him.] I waited a few minutes with the receiver to my ear, wondering if it was even possible that I knew whoever Chris was talking about. Finally, I heard a click on the line followed by Chris' voice.
"Umm, you're not gonna believe this, but . . ."
"No way! No! Chris, this had better be a joke, for your sake, this had better be a joke!"
"I wish it was, but he's asking to talk to you. He says it's urgent. I think you should come down here."
I didn't say anything. I was no longer worried, now I was just angry- no, furious. The last thing I wanted was to see my dad again, much less have a talk with him.
"Tell him he fucked up his chance to talk years ago."
I was about to hang up, but Chris somehow talked me into considering going down to the station.
"Alright, alright! I'll go down, but no promises about anything. Alright? He insults David just once, and I barge out of there with his head, tell him that."
"Just calm down, don't do anything you'll regret. Hey, you gave me a second chance, why not him? He's your father."
'Why not him? He's your father.' Those words struck a bell somewhere inside me. Anything going on in my mind suddenly stopped. I felt most of my anger dissipate away, replaced with feeling of guilt and frustration. As much as I hated to admit it, Chris had a point. After all, if anybody had told me a year ago Chris Burman was going to be my friend, I'd have socked them just for mentioning his name. I was still too angry to be confused, so I decided to see what he wanted. I just hung up the phone, not bothering to say anything else to Chris, I'd apologize for it later. I let Marcus, my 'secretary', know I'd be gone, and rushed to my car. It took about half an hour to reach the police station, and in that time I managed to calm down somewhat. Chris was right, I shouldn't hold such a grudge, especially against my dad, but then again . . . what he did was unforgivable. I stepped into the police station, and immediately spotted Chris sitting by the receptionist's desk.
"Hey Tavis. Just follow me, and try to keep calm alright? Last thing we need is a catfight."
Chris' attempt at humor notwithstanding, I was more curious than angry at the moment. We headed through a door behind the reception, and walked through the corridor and into a large interrogation room, much like the ones you see on those police shows on TV.
"Chris, am I going to be interrogated or something?"
"What? Oh, no, nothing like that! We just thought this place would be more private than the cell block. That and we can keep an eye on the both of you; make sure no one gets out of hand. We'll bring your dad in a few moments."
[Well, this is gonna be bloody fun.] I sat down, put my head on the table in front of me, and covered it with my arms. I was very relieved that David wasn't here, I didn't want him getting hurt again. Soon enough, I heard the door open and feet shuffle in. [Do I dare raise my head? I'm going to have to anyways aren't I?] Someone, probably my dad, sat on the chair across from me. The door opened again, and I heard someone sigh.
"I'll be outside if you need anything. Don't worry, the mikes will be off. We're not gonna pry."
I'd forgotten all about the microphones, good thing Chris was a decent guy now. I finally gathered myself and lifted my head. What I saw stunned me; that wasn't my dad. I mean, it was him, but at the same time, it wasn't. What I saw was a ragged shell of the man I knew as my father. His fur was dirty, unkempt and . . . faded; Not just graying, his once brilliant fur seemed to have faded away. And, it wasn't just his fur, his whole body seemed to have withered away. [What the bloody hell happened to him?] That's when I realized that he'd been staring at me; this whole time, he's been focused on me, probably waiting for me to make the first move. [Or to let the shock wear away.]
"Not what you were expecting I take it."
I was still too stunned for words, but I managed to force out a weak nod. I was somewhat relieved to hear his voice hadn't changed much, it had only gotten a little raspy, but at his age . . . well, it was the only unsurprising thing about him. I took another deep breath, and tried to sound strong and confident. Unfortunately, what came out sounded scared and confused.
"What do you want? I thought you made it perfectly clear you hated me and David."
The moment I mentioned David's name I saw my dad flinch. [Must not have gotten over it. Ugh, what do I do?] I tried to read his face for any clues that might help me, but no such luck.
"I wanted to say goodbye to my only son."
"What do you mean 'goodbye'?"
"Do you notice anything strange about my eyes?"
[Now that he mentions it . . . they do look terrible.] The whites of his eyes had turned a sickly yellow. I knew that was a bad sign, it meant something was horribly wrong.
"Its called jaundice, and it means I'm dying. I have cirrhosis of the liver."
"What!?!"
[No, it can't be. How? Why? What the bloody hell happened?!] I shook my head; surely I'd heard wrong, or I was hallucinating. It just couldn't be. [No, there's no way he's dying.] I couldn't find my breath; I felt like I was going to pass out any minute.
"Wh- why haven't y- why aren't you in a hospital?"
"What for? There's no cure, and they're not giving a raving alcoholic a liver transplant. I'm already dead."
"But they can help! Maybe they can-"
"Bah! They can't do anything. My liver's shot from all the alcohol, and I hate hospitals. Turn you into a bloody invalid."
"Can't they at least make you comfortable? Dull the pain or something?"
"They can't do anything. I have a few months left, I don't plan on wasting away like your poor mother, bless her soul."
I couldn't believe my ears. This simply could not be happening. Suddenly, a horrible thought entered my mind. [This is my fault . . . he's dying because of me, because I'm gay.] My head started to throb, and my whole body felt cold and numb.
"I only came because your mother. She would have wanted us to make amends, but . . . well, lets just say she'll have to settle for a last goodbye."
He didn't say anything for a few minutes. I tried to get my mind to stop racing so I could make some sense of what was happening. All I could think of was that it was my fault. If I was straight he'd be alright, he wouldn't be dying like this. I saw my dad stand up, and walk over to me. He bent down by me, and hugged me. That was almost too much. Something in me compelled me to return the hug, so I wearily lifted my arms and gently placed them around him. Even though his fur was rough and matted, and his body felt cold, I was overwhelmed with . . . something. I don't know if it was fear, or joy, or anger, or a mix of all of those emotions, but whatever it was, it brought tears to my eyes.
"Goodbye Dad."
"Goodbye son, I'm . . . proud of you . . . and I'm . . . sorry."
_We held each other for a while, neither saying anything. We both slowly relaxed and let go. I stood up, and my dad sat down where I was. I knew it was time to leave, so I headed to the door. I turned around to look at him just before I opened the door; he actually looked peaceful, more than I can ever remember seeing him. His eyes were closed, and I could see his chest slowly rising and falling, and for a brief moment, I was happy. Unfortunately, that happiness quickly faded away, and I was left feeling guilty and furious at myself. I opened the door and immediately heard Chris' voice, followed by someone else I couldn't identify.
-Mockingly- "So you two are dating now?"
"It's just a friendly outing!"
"Uh huh, gonna get some cheetah tail after- Tavis! You alright? You don't look too good."
"Chris, I just want to get home, we'll talk some other time."
"Alright, but you're definitely in no shape to drive yourself home; Keith, or Dmitri, or whatever your name is, take over while I drive him home. Here, just let me grab the keys and we'll be on our way. Want to call David in the meanwhile?"_
"I sent him a message earlier, he'll be home."
Chris just nodded and ran off. Despite that wonderful moment with my dad, I felt terrible. It was all my fault, I caused all of it.
The ride home was a blur, I remembered nothing of it. One moment I was waiting for Chris, the next I'm outside my home, with Chris leading me by the arm towards the door. I saw David open the door, and rush out to grab hold of me.
"Tavis! Are you alright? What happened with your dad?"
"He's dying. He apologized, he hugged me, but he's dying."
David immediately threw his arms around me, and tried to comfort me. Chris offered his help, but there wasn't much they could do at this point. I was desperate to get inside, so David waved goodbye to Chris and took me by the arm all the way in. We went straight to our room, and we lay down on the bed. David tried to comfort me every way he could; he rubbed my arms, laid his head on my chest, stroked my head, ran his fingers over my chest, but nothing worked. I felt absolutely terrible.
"Tavis, you have to tell me what's wrong."
"He's dying because of me."
"What? You haven't seen him in years! It's not your fault. How could it be your fault?"
"It's my fault he's an alcoholic. That's what's killing him."
"That's not your fault! If anyone's, it's his! You didn't do anything!"
"If I wasn't gay, he wouldn't be dying. I killed him!"
"Stop!!! Don't say that! You didn't kill him! He killed himself! You've done nothing wrong!"
"If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't be suffering! You don't understand, it's all my fault!"
"You're doing it again! Blaming yourself for everything! It's NOT your fault!!!"
[This argument is going nowhere. He just doesn't get it. It's my fault; I'm gay, and he's dying because of that.] I couldn't stand staying there, I knew I had to get out; I felt like a trapped animal. David was still arguing, almost screaming at me that it wasn't my fault, but he was wrong. I felt my anger quickly boiling up. I felt tired, guilty, frustrated, and now I was starting to lose my temper. I got up, and started heading for the main door.
"Tavis! Where are you going?!"
David followed right after me. I turned around to stop him, but the look of terror on his face stopped me for a few seconds. I just continued walking as soon as the shock wore off.
"I need some time alone."
"What?"
"I think it's time we took a break. I'm going, don't follow me."
I felt David grasp my arm as I reached for the door. He tried to pull me back, but he was too weak, he just skidded along the carpet.
"You promised! You promised you wouldn't leave me!!!"
I yanked my arm out of David's grasp and stepped outside. I heard a slump, and turned to see David collapsed against the door frame, tears streaming down his face. His voice slowly got softer and softer as I walked away.
"You promised . . . you promised . . . you pro..."
Well, one more chapter down. Sorry for the long wait, I've been gone for over 2 weeks (one week gone, one here, another gone, another here, next week prob gone again). I hope I didn't disappoint anyone, just let me get the hang back and I'll churn out a chapter every other week (more or less). I'll start on the next chapter soon as I can.
Also, thanks to everyone who's read the stories, those who have rated the stories, and those who have commented on them. And a big thanks to the mods for keeping the place running.