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'Hey, you!'

That's how you'd start this conversation. I know you didn't start talking to me, and you probably didn't ask me to introduce myself, but I'm going to anyway. Why? Because that's how I do conversation, and if you don't like it that way, get fucked!

First, my name's Colleen. I'm in my early twenties and I'm not in education. I like horror movies, quiz shows and cheesy pop music. My hobbies include horticulture and playing golf in ridiculously bright sweater-vests.

Oh, and I'm a mystic.

That's the official term for it, anyway. We go by a wide variety of names - witch, wizard, warlock, mage, conjurer, sorcerer or sorceress. I think some of us have referred to ourselves as charmers, but I'm not a pretentious twat, so witch is fine with me.

A few of mystics tend to specialise in a certain area of expertise, but I don't really see much point in that - why specialise in casting certain spells when you may never come across the need for it? Anyway, I tend to be better with practical spells - basic potions, protection magic, and the occasional removal of enchanted objects, such as a sweater that I had to set on fire.

Magic is fairly prominent on my father's side of the family, but my mother has occasionally gotten involved with my casting lessons - mainly when we needed a group to cast the spell, such as summoning spirits (I've only ever summoned basic training spirits, with the exception of my cat whiskers - BIG mistake!)

Okay, now I've got all of that out of the way, I suppose I should tell you about my current situation. I just moved into a flat of my own with a couple of my friends. Its not such a bad place - the rent isn't to bad, its pretty close to the city centre, and for some of the other places available for its price? This place is a freaking GOLD MINE! I'm serious, you should have seen the other place I looked at - I thought I was gonna find a dead crack baby in the bathroom!

Like I said, I'm splitting the place with a couple of my friends, Jensen and Genevieve.

Jensen's a pretty cool guy - sort of shy, and he's pretty intelligent; he's the only one of us who's going to university. That's the biggest reason we got a flat together - figured it would be better living with each other, and we could hopefully pay most of the rent using Jensen's uni money and some parental charity.

Anything else I might want to mention? Oh right - the werewolf thing. Jensen became a werewolf when he was about 14. He was born into a family where Lycanthropy ran way back into his family history - mostly on his mother's side, anyway; the last werewolf in his father's family was his great-grandfather.

He's gotten a pretty good handle of it, being able to control it on full moons. Think of him as a sort of Bruce Banner in reverse - constantly chill so he doesn't change. What happens when he can't help it? Simple - roofies.

What about Genevieve? Well first of all, she prefers Gen - something pretentious about the name Genevieve. She's a mystic like me, except she specialises in an area I've never seen the appeal of - entertainment and show magic. That's right, she's a glorified magician.

I guess its best really. I mean, the only other thing she's good with is chaos magic and the dark arts - she mastered it when going through some goth phase in sixth form. So which would you prefer - a rabbit out of a hat or your small intestine spread across the ninth dimension?

So, I guess that's all I have today. I'd tell you more, but I can't be bothered. Wanna singe my hair?