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-3-

Mantis was sitting on the bar in front of Monkey and Crane. Crane was looking miserable under his large hat. He had it pulled down so no one could see his face or the shame etched across it. He really had meant to tend to Viper, but then Mei Ling entered the room just as Viper woke up. He growled lightly to himself in irritation. He should be back at the palace explaining to Viper what had happened. He shouldn't be here with Monkey who was steadily getting drunk, and Mantis who was drinking more spirits then he should have the stomach room for. "Cheer up, Crane!" Monkey said putting his arm around his Kung Fu brother. "You should be enjoying yourself. Mantis and I come here all the time. It's a great place." "Yeah, Crane," Mantis said as he wiped froth off of his mouth with a pincer. "I can't," Crane said. "Everything that's been happening is my fault." "What has been happening, Crane?" Monkey asked leaning his face closer to Crane's in an attempt to stop Crane from becoming two Cranes in his eyes.

Crane pushed him away, and looked towards the door. "I'm going to go home if you guys don't mind," Crane said putting some cash down on the bar as he rose from his stool. "Oh, no, you don't!" Monkey said grabbing Crane around the neck. "You're going to have fun tonight. We brought here you brood to stop." "I think he means we brought you here so you'd stop brooding," Mantis said. "Yeah, what he said," Monkey said as he picked up a large wooden cup from the bar. He stepped on Crane's toes, and when Crane yelled he poured the contents of the cup down Crane's throat. Gulping and spluttering Crane grabbed Monkey and was going to preceded to shake him, but stopped as the liquor hit his guts making his body heat. "Like it?" Mantis asked as Crane sat back down on the stool. "What is it?" Crane asked. "Sake," Mantis replied. "It's imported from the East." "It smells like wood," Crane replied. "And it's warm." "It's brewed in cedar tanks," Monkey replied. "It's best when it's warm." Mantis laughed lightly, "Because anyone who tells you to drink it cold is trying to mask imperfections. When it's ice cold it doesn't have any flavor. When it's warm it's delicious."

Crane nodded slightly as he drank another glass. The bartender walked over and filled his glass again and smiled slightly. "Don't drink too much of this stuff," he warned Crane. "It kicks like a mule." "HEY!" A patron yelled from somewhere in the bar. "What? You don't kick hard?!" The bartender shouted back as the bar erupted in laughter. "So, what has been happening?" Monkey asked Crane again. With a sigh Crane looked at both his friends as he took off his hat and put it in front of him on the floor. "Mei Ling and Viper have been fighting," Crane sighed again. "Over me." "Over you?!" They both exclaimed in unison. "Why?!" "Well, I knew Mei Ling years ago. Long before I came to the Jade Palace. I was a janitor at the school she studied at." "You old dog you!" Monkey said. "What do you want?!" Another patron shouted. "Not you!" Monkey shouted back with a laugh. "So, you like school girls?" Mantis asked with a chuckle. "Did she wear one of those little uniforms?" "No, no no no!" Crane exclaimed almost falling off his stool as he waved his wings in protest. "It was nothing like that. I wanted to study Kung Fu, but..." "But?" Monkey urged him on. "But I wasn't made for it. See..." He held out his wings and legs towards Monkey and this time he did slip backwards off his stool. Monkey reached out and helped him back to his seat. "You do fine," Mantis said seemingly unaffected by the alcohol he was consuming. "I do now, but then... Well, I got laughed at by everyone," Crane sighed deeply. "Everyone except her. She encouraged me to try out for the school. Even though I was older than the other students." "Oh," Monkey said. "So, there was nothing going on between the two of you?" Mantis asked with slight disappointment in his voice. "No, nothing. I mean she'd give me a cheek kiss every now and then, but nothing perverse," Crane told them. "We were just really good friends." "So, what about now?" Mantis asked. "I don't know," Crane said. "She seems to want to be more then my friend." "Is that why you got slapped?" Monkey asked. "Well, I did call her a name," Crane said. "But I didn't know what else to do. Everywhere I go there's Mei Ling. I go out for a walk in the valley and there she is watching me. I go to train and there she is. I go to my room and..."

"Really? In your room?" Monkey asked. "Want to switch rooms?" "What? No!" Crane said. "I like Mei Ling, but I don't like her like that." "Why not?" Monkey asked. "I mean she's... OW!" "Sorry," Mantis said removing his pincer from Monkey's paw. "I only have eyes for Viper," Crane confessed. "I don't know why," Monkey said. "I mean the only thing she could do was give you a... OW! DAMMIT, MANTIS!" "I guess I'm a little more drunk then I thought," Mantis laughed pulling his pincer out of Monkey's paw again.

Crane downed another glass of warm sake and looked around the bar. At that moment Mei Ling walked in. "Oh, what the hell?" Crane groaned. "What?!" Monkey and Mantis asked looking around the bar. "Mei Ling just came in," Crane groaned. "Where?" Mantis asked looking around, and then he spotted the woman. She looked a lot like Mei Ling, but was more gray with violet eyes. "That's not Mei Ling," Mantis said. "I think you should slow down on the sake. It's potent." "And expensive," Monkey added. "Alright," Crane mumbled as he drank another glass of sake in one gulp. He looked back to the door and seen Mei Ling walk in again. Crane turned back towards the bar and studied his glass which the bartender came by and filled again for him. Crane nodded and drank the sake in one gulp before turning back around to look at the door again. And once again Mei Ling walked in. "I got Mei Ling on the brain," Crane said turning to Monkey, but Monkey turned out to be a Rhino. "What did you say, little man?" The rhino asked. "Nothing, Monkey," Crane said. "What did you call me?!" The rhino asked but Monkey tapped Crane on the shoulder. "I'm over here, Crane," Monkey said getting Crane's attention as he mouthed 'he's drunk' to the rhino. The rhino shrugged and went back to nursing his own drink.

"Are you okay, Crane?" Mantis asked. "Never better," Crane laughed. "I just seen three Mei Ling's walk in to this bar. Thought Monkey turned in to a rhino and almost got Viper killed. I'm having a fantastic day." Mantis and Monkey shrugged at each other and turned their attention back to their drinks. Crane looked around the bar and begin seeing every patron's head transforming slowly in to Mei Ling. He rubbed his eyes with his wings and looked again, but now everyone looked like Mei Ling. There were fat ones, tall ones, skinny ones, and ones that were horrible looking wrecks of the woman he knew. He turned towards Monkey and Mantis who looked up at him with their own Mei Ling heads attached to their own bodies. He turned to the rhino who was a wreck of Mei Ling. Laughing, Crane grabbed the rhino on each side of his face. Monkey and Mantis watched in shock as he did. "You are the ugliest Mei Ling I have ever seen in my life," Crane said. The rhino's eyes got huge with shock. "But," The rhino started, but Crane put a wing tip against his lips. "Shhh... Don't talk," Crane told him. "I love Viper, but I'm always going to be your friend." And with that he planted a beak kiss on the rhino's mouth. The rhino roared out. Lunging off his stool he had Crane around the neck and lifted him off of the stool he had been sitting on. "I'm going to kill you, bird brain!" The rhino roared as he pulled his fist back readying his strike for Crane's head. "I'm sorry, Mei Ling. I love Viper. You can hit me all you want, but that's not going to change anything." Crane laughed at the rhino. Other patrons were turning to look at the scene. "Oh, I don't intend to just hit you!" The rhino raged. "I intend to kill you."

The fist came whistling through the air at Crane's head. Just as Mantis leaped on to the rhino's fist and flung the rhino headfirst in to a table of patrons. Liquor and food went flying in to the air and on to other customers. Monkey leaped in between and pulled Crane away to safety. The roars of outrage were deafening. Monkey ducked and pushed Crane to the ground just as a whole table went sailing over them. "We better go," Mantis said as he landed on the floor in front of them. "This floor smells like urine," Crane laughed as Monkey still had his paw pressing down on Crane's head to keep him from getting hit. "Can he walk?" Mantis asked. "I don't think so," Monkey laughed. "He did drink about six glasses of sake." "I'm fine," Crane said and then giggled. "There's a cash on the floor."

Monkey grabbed Crane around the stomach and leaped in to the air narrowly avoiding a flying chair. Mantis who was perched on his shoulder held on for dear life as Monkey made a mad dash for the door. He was almost there when the rhino lunged in front of them. "I'm going to kill that bird friend of yours," He growled snorting angrily out of his nostrils. "Oh, hello Mei Ling," Crane laughed. "You're looking fat today." Mantis jumped from Monkey's shoulder on to Crane's beak wrapping his pincers and legs around it to keep him from talking. "Can't we just," Monkey started before staring over the rhino's shoulder. Paranoid the rhino looked over his shoulder and Monkey slid forward, pulled down the rhino's pants, and then stood up behind him just in time to kick him in the rump to the middle of the floor. Embarrassed the rhino tried to pull his pants back up as all the fighting stopped and everyone turned to laugh and point at him.

Monkey grabbed Crane and leaped out the door and in to a tree. He didn't stop leaping from tree to tree until they were far from the bar. He put Crane down on the ground. "What were you thinking?" Monkey asked angrily. "We're ambassadors from the palace. The Furious Five. And you have to start a bar fight?" "I didn't do anything except," Crane lurched on his feet and Monkey steadied him against a tree as Crane burped. "Except... Kiss Mei Ling." "You kissed a rhino," Mantis said. "On the lips," Monkey added. "And it wasn't even a woman!" They both exclaimed. "I did... waa?" Crane lurched forward his eyes half closed, but as he looked up at the sky he saw three Mei Ling's one of whom was holding his hat. "Crane?" Monkey asked. "Tell Mei Ling to give me back my hat," Crane said. "Your... Oh, no. He left it at the bar." Mantis groaned. "We'll get it some other time," Monkey said. "Right now we have to get back to the palace. It's going to be morning soon. Crane?"

Crane looked down at Monkey. "I like you," Crane said with a laugh. "Of course you do, but can you walk?" Monkey asked. "I can fly. I'll fly all of us home just as soon as I get my hat back from Mei Ling up there." Crane looked back up at the tree but the Mei Lings were gone along with his hat. "No," Monkey said slowly. "We're all going to walk. It's safer." "Flying is safe." Crane said and flew up in to the air straight in to a tree branch. "Maybe not." He said as he fell on to the ground. Monkey grabbed Crane again and Mantis jumped on Monkey's shoulder as they took to the trees again. Mantis and Monkey knew that they had about half an hour before day break.

Monkey ran up to the stairs carrying his friends. He saw the sun cresting the horizon behind the palace just as he heard the gong. He put on the speed and ran faster trying to make it to the stairs. He knew he had no hope of getting up the thousand stairs before the second gong, but he was going to try. Just then something dropped in to his path and it made him froze. "HEY!" Mantis screamed at him and Monkey felt Mantis sinking his pincers in to his neck and shoulder, but he didn't respond. "What the hel..." Mantis started to say, but then also froze. "Hey, Massa Shifu!" Crane yelled at Shifu who was standing at the foot of the steps. "You make a cute Mai Ling!" "What is wrong with him?!" Shifu demanded of Mantis and Monkey. "He had a little too much Sake," Monkey admitted looking down at his feet. "How much is too much?" Shifu inquired looking critically at his students. "Three bottles," Mantis said. "THREE?!" Shifu shouted in surprise he walked to Crane whom Monkey had put down on the ground. Crane stood wobbling back and forth trying to focus on Shifu. "Tree!" Crane agreed still wobbling back and forth. "And then Mai Lings came in and took my hat. They were up a tree. Threeeees of them!" "Three Mei Lings were up a tree?" Shifu asked walking closer to Crane he put his paw up and showed him 3 fingers. "And you are a cute Mai Ling. I could just kiss you," Crane said to Shifu. Shifu balled his fingers in to a fist and struck out with the speed of a cobra catching Crane in his abdomen. "Hey! That hurt," Crane gasped in shock. "Just wait," Shifu said taking a few steps back. Monkey and Mantis came closer to help hold Crane up before he fell over. Just then Crane turned and vomited on Monkey. Monkey squealed and jumped back away, but not before the second barrage hit him and Mantis. Mantis was knocked off his shoulder by the force of the blast. "Ugh! Oh, this is perfect!" Mantis growled and groaned as he pried himself up off the ground. "Monkey! Mantis! Take Master Crane to his bedroom, and then go to the baths and clean yourselves." Shifu ordered them as he walked past them towards the Valley of Peace. "Master?" Monkey said questioningly. "Practice is canceled," Shifu told them. "Think about what you have done while you are washing away your sins."

"Com'on, Crane," Monkey growled as he started practically dragging his friend up the stairs. "I feel terrible," Crane said before unleashing another torrent on to Monkey's back. "HEY!!" Monkey yelled and threw Crane as hard as he could towards the palace with Mantis screaming as he clung to Crane's wing for dear life.