FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Looking around himself, James saw a rather dusty-looking office of seemingly great importance. The desk he had his head against was of a finely polished veneer and coloured an imperial blood-red, with green top and a humble looking reading lamp standing to attention over several well-organised papers. Around the walls were bookcases with glass doors protecting their contents, as well as various artifacts on the walls such as masks or diplomas. The office was larger than expected, with a separate area in its own room surrounded by windows. A door through which rows upon rows of audio records were kept, categorised by date ranging back as far as...last year. "We're in the office of Dr. Manila," said Manbat, answering the raptor's previous question. "The place has been searched, but it appears they didn't find the deeds here. They must be working up to Daley's room further along." "Makes sense," said James, "Where else would you hide something like that other than your own room?" "Thoroughness has its rewards however. Joke Rat may be crazy, but he will tear this entire mansion apart if he has to. Can you walk?" "Yeah yeah, lemme just-whoa..." As he got up, he felt a little dizzy, slowly shaking his head clear of Scarecrow's gas as he let his eyes focus a bit better and start to look around the place. The papers gave no interest to him whatsoever, laced up to the nines with meaningless numbers, psychiatric ramblings and improper dates. After a while of searching, Manbat said: "I have something. Look." He showed them a thumbprint on a desk, surreptitiously buried under some files which he began to scan with a small device from his belt. It looked like a cell phone with two pronged tips at the top, and soon it beeped. "Scanning the fingerprints into yer doohickey?" said Sam. "Not Joke Rat's, he's too meticulous for that. This is from one of his thugs, elite one even, one of his luckier allies." "Lucky how?" asked James. "He's not been killed yet, by us or him." "Oh. So we have a fingerprint, what's that gonna do for us?" Manbat began to scan the room and it beeped more towards the door. "Gives us a scan reading for any of the same fingerprints along the way." "Uh...I hate to ask but what if he's been in other rooms BEFORE this one and we follow old fingerprints by accident?" "We won't, this scanner will only detect any newer fingerprints with a carbon dating system." "...shit, you really got it all sorted out, huh?" With that, they left the cluttered office, heading through the mansion once again with James still trying to get over his rather nasty nightmare. His walking gait was a little disoriented, with Sam keeping an eye on him and Max just eyeing everything in general with a half-crazed joy.

Back across the hall they went, and they saw something now different in the place. One well-sealed door was no longer sealed, or rather, it had been torn apart with brutally huge claws. They all could easily guess who had done such a thing, as they kept walking into the door and through a similar-feeling corridor, all the way up to a more prestigious office. Past a few desks filled with not-so-neat stacks of paperwork, there were ripped partitions, some stacks of paper not surviving to become stacks anymore, and more clawmarks. Glass fragments laid everywhere, cautioning all four barefooted intruders to watch their step. Then they heard the breathing. A heavy, monstrous shudder from within the room. Manbat flew to the rafters to get a look to confirm who it was, before flying back down to the group to confer in hushed tones. "Killer Cat." "Shit." "What you so worried about James, you fought him before!" "Max I got lucky, have you SEEN the fucker, he's built like a brick shit house!" "Quiet," hushed Manbat. "James is right, Killer Cat is far too powerful to take on in a direct fight. We need to be tactical. I see two high windows and a large fireplace that might help us." James nodded at where he was going with this. "Burn him and dump him into the water." "Like a sack of kittens!" They all looked at Max, James trying not to smirk at the awful joke as Manbat merely said: "...yes. Here's the plan." They gathered round to confer for a few more minutes, before James got up and walked out around the corner to see the huge hulking monstrous feline. He was easily a head or two taller than the raptor, and definitely far more vicious. "YOU!" "Hey there pussy. Ready for round two after your bath?" "WHERE IS MANBAT!?!?!" "Why the hell you want a bat, don't you wanna see how a lizard tastes?" "Hmmmph...you stupid or suicidal?" "You'll find out soon fucker." James got ready to fight, admittedly scared to death but trusting in Manbat's abilities as Killer Cat roared and charged furiously at him, like a bull on steroids. Thankfully James' superior reflexes helped him dodge as the beast bashed its head into the wall, the raptor pulling out his G18 and firing off several shots into the cat's spine. The creature made an unearthly yowling, resonating throughout the hall.

"INSOLENT LITTLE NUISANCE!" "Ha ha ha, whassa matter kittycat, you got yer tongue?!" "RAAAAAAAAARGH!" Another furious charge, and this time James was ready with the fireplace behind him. But somehow, Killer Cat did not fully charge and instead spread his arms wide open to pummel the dodging raptor hard across one cheek, sending him flying to hit a chair. The monster then made a cat-like pounce onto James, who thankfully rolled away to avoid being crushed. He still got a punch in the face sending him to the ground, throbbing with his vision slightly blurred, his head feeling crushed. Quickly getting up, he kept trying to dodge and shoot and slash at the hulking feline, trying to avoid the huge clawed fists that could easily squash his skull. Eventually James got pounded again from the other side, and was stumbling at this point, trying to dodge until the cat eventually grabbed him by the throat and hoisted him up. Thankfully however, he was right where James wanted him, at the expense of his windpipe, furiously choking and struggling. His legs kicked at Killer Cat's stomach, trying to claw him as the beast chuckled darkly. "You know what cats do to their prey?" "HU-AGH! GHHK! AAA_HHGK!"_ _ "I wanna see how long you can keep breathing before I break yer neck."_ _ "AAAAGGHHHHK!"_ _ "Whatcha gonna do now, little bitch? Push me into the fire?"_ "He won't." A voice from above surprised the cat, as he saw a large winged shadow suddenly fly at his face, throwing James around like a ragdoll as Sam & Max bullcharged him from out of nowhere together. They pushed him forwards towards the fire, the cat losing his balance and letting James go. To give a final push, the raptor grabbed a chair and threw it at the feline beast who fell into the fire, screeching and yowling a demonic cry which horrifyingly echoed throughout the room. The beast writhed in the huge furnace, trying to regain its balance as the fur singed and blackened, licked across by strong flames, before the monster ran towards a window and jumped through. A resounding piercing crash signalled the end of the fight, followed by the faint sound of water splashing. James was on the floor choking breath back into his lungs. "HUUHK! Hhhhh...next time, the rabbit does it." "Sorry for using you as bait," said Manbat. "Whatever, it worked, we burned him and he gets dunked AGAIN, so let's hope he doesn't come back for a fucking hat trick." "Dontcha mean a strike three?" quipped Sam. "No, we don't play baseball in London." "I thought you lived in Chicago." "...some habits die hard." "Let's examine the place further."

Manbat began to look around at what Killer Cat was possibly guarding, perhaps placed there by the Joke Rat which seemed a difficult task for even the most charming psychopath to do with such a monster. Eventually Max tore open a painting of Mayor Daley casually so, and found their objective. "Sam, I found a safe!" "Good job li'l buddy!" They all walked over to investigate it. It was a classic padlocked safe, but before they laid their hands on it, Manbat stopped them. "Careful. Joke Rat might have rigged it." "But it's not even been opened." "I don't trust him not being able to find this. He's too thorough." "The way you go on about him," said James with crossed arms, "this sounds less like like catching some criminal and more like a vendetta...or maybe something else." "Whatever you believe James, I know Joke Rat better than anyone." The bat brought out another small device, rather like a PSP but of a much different design, and began to scan the safe for any traps. After a few minutes of pushing buttons, the safe opened easily to show a large folder inside it. They took the folder out to examine, with Manbat briefly skimming through it to get a clearer idea. "This holds the mystery of this island." "Wh-what? What kind of mystery?" "Something I did not want to expect." "Ohhh but it IIIIS, Manbaaaaaat!" A voice from the tannoy came to them, a rather whimsical voice that made the bat gaze at the ceiling sternly. "Joke Rat." "Well well well, look at all the little friends you picked up! I must say it was fun watching a dog and a rabbit playing fetch together, even without any pants." "The fuck, you been watching us!?!" shouted James. "Ohhh yes, how can I forget little Jamesy? My friend Scarecrow LOVES you to pieces! He says you have a lot of fun memories to bring out with his fear gas!" "Well you can tell your friend that if he's seen my memories he knows what I'll fucking do to him when I catch him!" "Oooh...you have a nasty temper." Joke Rat's voice turned dark for a moment, less humorous and sounding venomous. "So do I. You better hope you never meet me." "Oh what are you, a fucking rat? I shit bigger things than you." "DON'T...think about provoking me, boy. Besides, you never will, I have a perfect little reward for dealing with that nasty kitty." Manbat was the only one to hear the beeping noise, seeing now that there had been a small wire attached to the hinge of the safe and going somewhere. "RUN!" At his warning, everyone left the office as quickly as possible, the Joke Rat's giggling laughter echoing throughout the halls, turning louder and louder before the explosion came. The entire office was suddenly plunged into a scorching inferno, the four escapees dodging out of the door and into the hallway in just enough time. Wood and marble fragments showered their backs harmlessly, having managed to escape the more lethal radius of the blast.

After they all recovered from their sudden sprint, Manbat went over to a nearby desk and laid out the files from the folder, confused slightly. Sam, Max and James went over to look in turn. "Joke Rat must be playing with us to give us these." "Yanno serial killers are usually attention seekers," said Sam, "they love to taunt the law and give 'em a li'l clue now and again so they don't quit." "After all," said Max, "where's the fun without an opponent!?!?" "Unless it's solitaire, which is never fun." "Uhh anyways," butted James, "what's these files say?" "They say that this island is actually built on something that nobody else knows, but apparently Mayor Daley and I suspect, the Joke Rat." "An Indian burial ground?" said Sam. "OOH, the set of Poltergeist built OVER an Indian burial ground?" said Max. "Radioactive waste?" said James. "The buried remains of almost every ET Atari game cartridge in existence?" said the dog. "Unobtanium!" said the rabbit. "An alien spaceship?" said the raptor. "All of you are wrong except James getting close on radioactive waste," said Manbat after he let them guess enough with James looking smug. "Apparently when Daley was digging up the island to get rid of Meigs Field Airport, he found a completely new source of unknown mineral, which he called Daleynium." "Nice to see he's a humble man." said James. "This Daleynium is recorded to have some very potent powers, according to Daley's scientists." "Like what?" piped up Max. "Does it make ya grow hair? Turn ya into a teenage mutant ninja whatever?" "Max, I told you those were a myth." said Sam. "But Sam, I swear to the Flying Spaghetti Monster that I saw them in concert! And they were terrible!" "That was because you saw the TMNT: Re-Shelled concert on TV when you had the yellow fever." "You lie! YOU LIIIIE!" James just facepalmed and stood next to Manbat. "God, these two huh?" "Hm. As I was saying, Daleynium has a very special property. It's thirty times more explosive than Nitro-glycerin, if properly made." "...really?" "From these reports yes. They also found a group of these in Tunguska, which once caused a colossal explosion." "Wasn't that a meteor?" asked Sam. "Apparently not says Daley's scientists, when they found out what to look for. Joke Rat must be planning to gather all the Daleynium and create even more chaos with it. Imagine a bomb thirty times more powerful than most kinds of bombs. We have bombs that can level subways...but if he makes one like this, he can destroy entire cities from underground." James was at first horrified by such destructive prospects, but then confused. "So...I get why Daley wants this island, maybe because he doesn't want anybody else taking this stuff, good intentions and all, but why the mansion and prison?" "Possibly to protect the Daleynium from it falling into the wrong hands." "By making a prison and filling it with criminals who ARE the wrong hands?" "........" "He gotcha there, Bats." said Sam from aside while the bat pondered more. "You're right, it doesn't make sense. Perhaps an oversight, maybe the man is insane, maybe he actually wants to use it himself and Joke Rat beat him to it." "Or they could be working together!" "Maybe. We can't find anything out for now, but I know now where Joke Rat is going. Follow me."

After a long walk, the four had left the mansion with nothing more to obtain from it, and made their way back to the prisons. Their plan was to enter the sewers via the pump room, which was located in the same building as the ground-level prisons and the guard barracks. The pump room would give them an idea of the layout of the sewers underneath the island, as well as any suspect areas that Manbat could suspect where the Daleynium stockpile would be centred. They largely met no resistance, the odd rat goon getting a hefty kick in the face or a chokehold or get crushed from underfoot depending on who found who. Eventually, they were passing the guard barracks, all of whom had either died, abandoned the island, or left the place to deal with various criminal groups across the island. However, they would find one who had stayed behind in a more authoritative office separate from the others. Partitioned wood panelling, greyed-over glass preventing anyone looking inside, and securely locked until Manbat picked it open. Entering the guard's office was a single heavy-looking guard, sitting back in his chair, face covered with protective white mask that wasn't of the special teams on the island, reading a comic book in his large fingers. He looked up casually, his office an absolute mess, small and cosy but trashed completely. "Hmm?" "A guard," blurted out Sam, "quick buddy take him down!" "Woah woah woah, I don't want any trouble." The guard merely put up his hands showing no weapons, before he kept thumbing through his comic, sighing wistfully. His voice was low and world-weary. "I just wanna sit here and read stuff, just keeping out of the way. You're the new guys they brought in right?" The dog, raptor and rabbit all nodded. "Eeyup." "'fraid so." "Puppies!" "Well compared to the other psychos we're getting in here you aren't worth the hassle." "You seen any of these other psychos?" asked James curiously, to which the guard replied: "Kept my head low when I saw that Joke Rat scamper past." "You know where he is?" asked Manbat.

He fluttered up onto the desk, surprising the guard who nearly bowled over and gazed with amazement. "W-woah...you're Manbat!" "Indeed." "Aw man, you're a real hero to me! It's an honour to meetcha!" The guard's tone was more excitable, almost childish with glee. "I always admired yer work, you're like the greatest hero EVER." "I'm honoured. Though I wouldn't mind some information on Joke Rat." "S-s-sure Mr. Manbat, lemme think...uhhh..." He put his comic book down and thought back. "Oh yeah, he was heading down to the sewers, there's a waste disposal section that handles all the trash to put down underground, might be going that way." "Don't you mean the pump room?" "Well, no, the pump room got kinda fucked up in the whole chaos, but the waste disposal is a better place to get to the sewers, more direct yanno. You can take this key off the rack." Sam snatched the key the guard gave out to them and put it into his pocket as Manbat continued asking. "Was he with anyone?" "Mmmmm nope, he was alone." "Was there anyone else you saw go past before or after him?" "Nope." "I see." "Oh wait, wait...no there was something weird." "Hmm?" "Well, I'm sorta trying to remember now but this...bird I think went past BEFORE Joke Rat to the sewers." "Scarecrow." "Th-that was him!?!" The deep voice began to blubber just slightly in panic. "Be thankful he didn't notice you." "Y-yeah I know, I heard about that guy, hell I know all about you an' the guys you fight. I don't envy ya." "So," asked James slowly, "Scarecrow went to the sewers before Joke Rat. Did you hear either of them say anything?" "Ahhhh, nope. Though Joke Rat was saying about how they had to hurry for Plan B or else he'd kill all his mooks." "Plan B?" "Yeah, that's what I heard." "...I wonder what was Plan A." Manbat pondered this gently to himself, before he realised he had no more questions for the stranger. "Thank you for the information, mister...?" "Oh, Magnusson, name's Magnusson...uh...can I get..." "Hmm?" Manbat looked more at his fan curiously who stuttered out: "C-can I get an autograph? If that's okay by ya." ".................Okay. Give me a pen." The guard searched through a variety of drawers feverishly for one, before grabbing it and checking it could write. The bat tried his best to write out a signature with the pen in his claws. When done, the guard took it to his chest and they could all feel this glorious smile radiate from behind the mask. "Oh maaaaan this is so awesome! Thanks man, everyone else is gonna be so fucking jealous of me!" "No problem. Thanks again." James then moved closer to ask the officer: "Yanno for a guard, you don't seem to really give a shit about guarding." "Hehe, the place is turning into a fucking ruin, why bother? I'm just tryin' not to get killed and hang back here. When all the chaos stops I'll get outta here back to the coast." "So...why did you come here in the first place?" "Hey it wasn't THAT crazy when I came here. Plus there's not many jobs a big guy like me can do work for." "Hmmm. Well thanks man." "Indeed," said Sam, "much obliged, oh kindly apathetic stranger." Max lastly added a "G'bye now!" before they headed off and left the guard to his own little world of ink and paper. A world where perhaps things more absurd than reality occurred.