One Night at the Cat House

Story by SagaDC on SoFurry

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#1 of Tales from the Cat House

Those who remember Poui's excellent Underground League flash game may recall Elin the Cat - adventurer extraordinaire! If not, well, don't feel bad. She was just one of several hundred characters that were submitted by the several different users. Suffice to say, she's a lynx who makes up for her inexperience with energy, enthusiasm, and a healthy dose of dirty fighting.

I've been wanting to write something with her in it for a while now, and this story has been sitting in my scrap bin for quite some time. It takes place before she actually began her career as a wandering hero, and (to be honest) it mostly exists because I needed an excuse to practice writing dialogue. But hey, the dialogue mostly pertains to ballbusting, so that's a bonus!

As an aside, this is the closest I'll ever come to inserting my own character (Saga) into any of the stories I post.

As always, the obligatory warning: this story contains casual references to the abuse of male genitalia. It's not as rough and tumble as my usual offerings, but still - if you don't like ballbusting, then you probably won't like this story. You have been warned.


Elin flopped onto her bed melodramatically, sprawling across the rumpled covers as she buried her muzzle into one of her pillows. The lynx was tired - she had been working the tables all day long - but she wasn't quite tired enough to just go straight to sleep. Still, it was important to let her sisters know just how hard she had been working.

"Aw, you poor kitten," her eldest sister cooed sarcastically from the bed opposite Elin's. Tia was four years older than the lynx, and she wasn't even the same species. Distinctly feline, Tia was instead a lanky Siamese.

"Working soooo hard," Mia sneered, peering from the bunk above Tia's. She was Tia's twin, almost identical but for her whiskers. Where Tia's whiskers were a glossy black, Mia's were a distinct white. It was remarkable how many people missed that simple detail, and the two felines often used it to their advantage.

"Shut up, Mia!" Elin's words were immediately followed by a hurled pillow. The lynx was one of the few who had no problem telling the two apart. The pillow missed completely, of course, but it had the desired effect of driving her back up to her perch.

Tia grinned up at her twin from the lower bunk, plucking Elin's errant pillow off the ground and lobbing it back to the lynx. "Well honestly, what do you expect? The two of us worked six clients-"

"Well, five." Mia interjected, stretching out on her bed to adopt a languid pose. "The last one wanted both of us at once."

"The two of us worked five clients," Tia continued, as if she hadn't been interrupted. "And what did you do? You cleaned some tables and mopped up the bathrooms. If anyone should be complaining about their workload, it should be us."

Elin huffed, squirming into a seated position as she deftly intercepted her pillow. She tossed it back onto her bed, then scooted down to the footboard so she could lean over and skim the contents of the adjacent bookshelf. "And I worked with Lena! She's teaching me how to tend bar!"

"Soooo hard," Mia laughed, yelping as Elin's pillow whomped her in the face this time.

Tia laughed, ignoring her twin's brooding stare as she instead kept her eye fixed on her youngest sibling. Elin was, in many ways, the stark opposite of her elder sisters. Mia and Tia were tall and thin, curved in all the right places but only modestly so. Elin was shorter and stockier, and she had oft been teased for being the runt of the litter, but over the past year or two her figure had filled out dramatically.

"What Mia is trying to say, is-" Tia paused, intercepting another of Elin's pillows. She kept it this time, since she knew that the lynx was now completely out of ammunition. Well, unless she decided to start throwing books instead. "What Mia is trying to say is that you could be making a lot more gold, if you'd stop waiting tables and start working the clients."

Elin frowned, glancing down at her body a tad self-consciously. "Please, not this again. Mom might be alright with you two whoring yourselves out around the Cat House, but I really don't think you're going to find anyone who's willing to pay- ow!"

Her eldest sister had slipped over to Elin's bedside, to tug sharply on the lynx's oversized eartips. "Hush, you're lovely! And you have a figure to die for, if you'd just be willing to use it every once in a while. I can think of at least three of our regulars who would love to book some time with you, and there might be others too - if you'd just dress in something a little slinkier."

The lynx swatted at the other feline's paws until her ears were free, and then swatted at them all over again as Tia tugged at her apron instead. "There's nothing wrong with the way I dress!"

Mia snorted, peering down from her bunk again as she rested her head atop folded arms. "You dress like a waiter."

"I AM a waiter!" Elin retorted, sticking her pink little tongue out at the younger of the two Siamese.

Tia grinned, reaching down to snag Elin's tongue, but the lynx swiftly retreated it back into her muzzle. "And a janitor. And now a bartender, too? At the most popular brothel in Ma'Karach." She tugged at the edge of Elin's sleeve, now, but withdrew her paw as the lynx started swatting again.

"I'm just saying," the Siamese continued. "You could be making a LOT more gold. I mean, you wouldn't even need to work with clients if you didn't want to, but I'm sure you'd be getting better tips if you'd just lose the apron. Maybe wear a skirt, instead of long pants. Get something with a lower-cut collar."

"Oooh," the younger Siamese chimed in. "Or just keep the apron, and lose all the other clothes!"

Elin blushed hard, her arms folded over her chest at even the THOUGHT of all those ruffians and alleycats staring at her body. "No way!" And she huffed harder as both her sisters started giggling, her oversized ears twitching forward as she grumbled. "And I tried wearing a skirt, but guys kept pinching my butt!"

Mia rolled her eyes halfway about, flopping onto the edge of the lynx's bed. "Well, duh? That's kind of the point? And then you're supposed to smile at them, and maybe giggle, and then they leave an extra stack of gold and silver coins on the table."

Elin grumbled again, her arms still securely folded about her person even as Tia draped herself over the lynx's shoulders. "No thank you. Getting pinched HURTS, and besides-" She looked a bit misty-eyed as she gazed off into the middle distance. Or maybe the wall. Yes, she was definitely gazing dreamily at the wall. "I'm not going to be a waitress forever."

Mia groaned, her arms draping limply off the side of her bed as she let her tongue hang out. "Oh come on, not THIS again."

Tia looked a little more sympathetic, but it was clear that she was no more convinced than her twin was. "Of course, you still plan on becoming an adventurer. Just like your hero, ah- what was his name? Sega?"

The lynx scowled, shooting the younger of the two twins another dirty look. "It's Saga, and you KNOW his name! I've caught both of you reading my books whenever you think I'm not around!"

The elder Siamese chuckled, unfurling her arm from about her younger sibling before she padded lightly about the bed. Dropping down into a crouch, she ran the tip of a finger lightly along the spine of each worn book in turn. Collectively known as the Saga Saga, an absurdly redundant title, each book sported a title that was somehow more pretentious than the last.

Saga versus the Pyrocasters, Against the Hordes of the Bitch Queen, Saga and the Splendiferous Five - oh, and Tia's personal favorite, Saga and the Waste Lord's Harem. "Well, yes, but only out of morbid curiousity."

Mia stuck her tongue out again, her ears swiveling like radar dishes as she chastised her sibling. "And you DO know that none of those stories are true, right? Saga is just a writer - and a bad one, at that."

Elin frowned, her back straightened some as she watched Tia - she could see the way her sister was eying the installment about the Waste Lord's harem. Now she knew who it was that had folded the corners on all of the raunchiest pages. "They're not, and he's not! He told me so!"

Tia clucked her tongue, although she didn't look up from the bookshelf. "Sweetie, he says a lot of things. Especially to cute young girls who work in the- ooh, this is a new one! Saga and the Crimson Corsairs of Dread Island. Spicy!"

Elin lunged over her bed, plucking the book from Tia's grip. "Hey, paws off! I haven't finished reading that one yet!"

Tia laughed, but it was Mia who spoke up first. "Oh, does it have another queen? Maybe a pirate queen? A bitter rival at first, but then when Saga lies bloodied and beaten, he snarls with defiance and she feels a flutter in her heart?"

"And oh, she swoons." Tia giggled, the back of one hand set to her forehead. "What was this feeling in her heart, the heart that she thought could feel no more? The alleycat's eyes met her own, and her lips quivered with unabated lust."

Mia grinned, sitting up now as she joined back in. "She had to have him, and he her. Their two bodies intertwined, and for a moment they were one. Saga knew that his comrades needed him, but for that one moment they seemed like a distant aftertho-"

"Spoilers!" Elin huffed, fishing about for another pillow. But no, she had already thrown them all. "And you two HAVE read it! I only bought it two days ago, so when in the world did you even have the time!?"

Tia chuckled, looking back to the shelf again. She had read them all, even the spin-offs about the less pretentious supporting characters, but it was always fun to tease her sister. "Between clients. Honestly, Elin, it's like five minutes of work and then an hour while they sleep it off."

"Ugh," the lynx grunted again. "No thanks. Not since-"

"Why is it always a queen, anyway?" Mia interrupted. She was hovering at the side of Elin's bed, and she had somehow swiped the book right out of the lynx's paws without her noticing it. "And not just a queen, but a Queen with a capital Q. I mean honestly, the Gryphon Queen, the Dragon Queen, the Bitch Queen - are we really supposed to believe there are all these queens out there, tripping over each other to sleep with one alleycat?"

Elin snatched at the book, engaging in a brief tug-of-war before the taller feline relented. The lynx stumbled backward, tripping back onto her bed where she promptly got tangled in the covers - but at least she had gotten her book back. "Shut up! It's because he's a hero!"

Mia snorted again, "Right. A pervert of heroic proportions."

"Here's what I don't get," Tia mused as she plucked another book off of the shelf. "Saga claims to be the world's greatest thief and an accomplished swordsman, but every time he ends up fighting against a female it's the same thing all over again-"

"Right," Mia agreed. "They always end up sleeping together, no matter how ridiculous that-"

Tia shook her head, absently flipping the book open and quickly flipping from page to page. "No, not that. Before that part. Saga will defeat a dozen men in combat, but the second he fights a female character they always manage to get right past his defenses and-"

"Oh," Mia giggled. "Right. That."

Elin frowned again, as she looked back and forth between the two. "That? What that?"

Tia cleared her throat, the fingers of one paw steepled daintily against her chest as she held the book open in the other. "Ahem. Saga hissed with agony as the assassin, Katsumi, struck home with the toe of her boot. How had she slipped past his guard so swiftly? For the second, it hardly seemed to matter, and it took everything the alleycat had not to instantly drop to his knees."

Mia joined her twin at the shelf, plucking another book up at random. She flipped, and within seconds she spoke up as well. "Saga yowled with pain, as he was struck from behind! While he had been dispatching the last of the Bitch Queen's guards, the vile temptress had snuck about him, and now when his guard was lowered she struck like the viper that she was. Her boot, and a steel-toed one at that, completely decimated his nethers as the force of the blow lifted him right off of his feet."

Tia grinned, and was already prepared with another book. "He grappled with the dragoness as his allies looked on, and for a second it seemed that he might win, but the supple wyrm would not allow that. Her spine rippled, her scaled cleavage bouncing as she sought to distract the hero, and in the scant second that his mind wandered she lifted her knee."

Mia wasn't even opening the books anymore, instead tapping the spines with her fingertip as she relied on her memory. "The Dark Lords of Full Moon Mountain, he kills the Wolfwere Queen's strongest bodyguard before she spends three pages stomping on his balls. In this one, he gets racked by the Bitch Queen's bounty huntress in five different chapters, and in this one he's only defeated by the Demon-Empress of the Wastes because she manages to squeeze him into submission with her tail!"

Tia started counting off on her fingers as she skimmed the titles with her twin. "Seven times in this one, only twice in this one, and gods - I can't even remember how many times in this one about the wolves of Amazonia. Twenty? Maybe thirty?"

Elin frowned a bit, but it was a hard point to refute. It was true, and she had wondered about that on more than one occasion, but she had certainly never worked up the nerve to actually ask the alleycat on any of his infrequent visits to the Cat House.

"Well," she ventured. "Obviously he's just trying to make it clear that he has weaknesses. It's no fun to read about a character who never fails. You can't identify with them. It's, uh, like his Achilles heel."

Tia snorted, easing one of the books back into it's proper place on the shelf. "Sweetie, I think his weak spot is a little higher than his heel."

"And it's not just limited to Saga," Mia mused. "It's a wonder that his whole supporting cast hasn't been castrated. Gods know that the wizard Ray-Lynn has come close on more than one occasion, and Grunt the Barbarian actually retired after that thing with the Dragon Queen."

"Ew, yeah." Elin admitted, she probably could have lived without that part of the story. She had really liked the barbarian character, too, although he was a distant second to her heart-throb hero. "Well, uh, maybe he just includes all that stuff because Veri asks him to."

Tia arched her brows, wagging a finger lightly. "Oh, yeah, now that I could believe."

Mia quickly agreed, grinning a bit smugly as she traipsed back over to her own bed. "Definitely. She's the BEST when it comes to mangling a guy's manhood. I'd bet gold on her parts being the only thing in the books that might be even remotely true."

Elin laughed softly, but she bobbed her head in agreement. It was true, the surly canine bouncer had shown on more than one occasion that she knew how to handle disruptive guests. And hey, the mere fact that she was a close friend with the Alleycat himself added a note of legitimacy to each and every one of his stories!

"Ooh, do you think it's true that they actually slept together?" Mia purred, her voice lowered conspiratorially as she leaned forward on the edge of her bed. Veridia had ears like a hawk, and even though they all knew that she was currently on duty at the far end of the building, it still felt right to keep her voice down.

"Ha!" Tia laughed, wiping a mirthful tear from the corner of one slanted eye. "In his dreams, maybe!"

Elin arched her brows, her ears slanted forward as she protested. "They have! Veri told me so herself!"

Both of the twins stopped and stared, and it was Mia that spoke up first. "Really? She seriously told you that?"

Elin nodded smugly, a faint purr creeping into her voice as she did so. "And she says he's great in bed, too! So, you know, there's that." The lynx bit her lower lip, softly, the slightest pang of jealousy cutting through her. She loved Veridia, but...

"No way," Mia scoffed, sashaying back over to her own bed as well. "He's, like, half her size! I'm sure she was just being polite."

"Well, yes." Tia smiled, echoing her twin's statement. "I find it difficult to believe that he would have the proper leverage for it. I think he would work better with a smaller female, perhaps someone Elin's size..."

Mia brightened, and her own grin twisted a bit as she fixed an eye on the lynx. "Yes, they ARE about the same size, aren't they! I mean, Elin is a little taller than he is, but you just KNOW he'd love to get his paws on a gal with curves like that."

Elin blushed even harder, her eartips burning a bright crimson beneath her fur. "Shut up!"

And a pause, before she peeked sidelong toward her sisters. "...really?"

"Well..." Tia grinned.

"No, shut up!" Elin blushed again, rolling onto her bed and pulling the covers over her head in one smooth motion. It was the ostrich defense, but she could only hope that her sisters would tire of teasing her if they couldn't see her blush.

Mia laughed, her ears slicked forward as she stretched out languidly on the top bunk. "Well, it's not like he'd sleep with her, anyway..."

Elin peeked out from beneath her cloth cocoon, and tried to do her best to keep a note of disappointment from her voice. "Why not?"

Her sister smirked, arms folded behind her head as she casually studied the ceiling. "Yeah, he'd probably just want you to kick him between the uprights."

"Oh," Tia echoed, her own ears perked thoughtfully. "Yes. That would make sense."

The lynx furrowed her brow, her over-sized ears skewed outward as she eyed the twins. She knew they were still teasing her, but it seemed like an odd route to take. "Uh, really? Like, a guy would actually WANT that?"

"Sure!" Mia perked, peeking down from her bed with the widest cheshire grin she could manage. "More often than you'd think, even!"

Elin pursed her lips, her head cocked a bit to one side in consternation. "But... doesn't that hurt?"

Tia chuckled, sitting lightly on the edge of her younger sibling's bed. "Oh, of course it does. Quite a bit, from what I understand. But there's, well, the bad kind of pain and then there's the good kind of pain."

"Good pain?" Elin made no effort to hide her skepticism, although she was hesitant to actually press her sister for details. Gods knew that the last thing she wanted was a crash-course in kinks and fetishes.

"Ooooh," Mia crooned, her eyes rolling as she reached down to slap her paw against the curve of her own hip. "Like a good, hard spanking. Mmn..."

"Ew, you can't be-" Elin looked to Tia, and the question died on her lips.

"Well," the elder Siamese purred, the slightest tinge of a blush on her own eartips. "Everyone has different, ah... tastes. Mia is just a little less, well... subtle about hers."

Mia snickered, her brows arched as she tried to look at least vaguely innocent. It didn't work. "Don't let Tia fool you. We're twins, so she has the same tastes I do. It's totally genetic."

The elder Siamese scowled, pointing one clawed finger at her twin. "That's NOT how genetics work."

"Ugh, whatever." Elin stuck her tongue out, her head shaking vigorously for a few seconds. "I still don't get it. Besides-" she bit her lower lip, her ears slanted forward as she pondered. "A guy NEEDS those parts, right? I wouldn't want to, um... damage anything..."

Mia smirked, draping halfway off of her bed to peer at the younger lynx. "Ah-hah! So now the truth comes out. It sounds like SOMEone is aiming to have a certain alleycat's kittens..."

"Mia!" Elin huffed, trying her utmost to look scandalized.

"Oh, honey." Tia looked apologetic, reaching over to stroke the embarassed feline's ears. "Sweetie, no. If those books are any indication, then Saga's not going to be having kittens with ANYone..."

Mia licked over her lips, looking more than a little smug. "No great loss there. Long as he can still perform in the sack, shooting blanks is just a bonus!"

The lynx groaned, her ears skewed as she looked appropriately cross. "Come on, there's... I dunno, there's magic and stuff for that kind of thing! And, uh..."

Tia chuckled again, absently plucking the Crimson Corsairs novella back up in one paw. "Mm, well, if you can believe the books, then a swift kick is the ultimate in birth control."

"And foreplay!" Mia chimed in, still grinning broadly.

"And foreplay." Tia nodded, politely agreeing with her sister. "If he's into that."

Elin frowned, first eying Tia and then Mia. "And... if he's not?"

"Oh," Tia paused, as if she hadn't considered that. "Well, then he probably won't be sleeping with you, after."

Mia smirked, pulling herself back up onto her bed before stretching out on her stomach. She laced her forearms beneath her chin, musing aloud. "Course, if you do it right he won't be sleeping with ANYone for a while. So yeah, it's still a pretty good form of birth control."

"Oh come on," Elin scoffed. "It can't be THAT bad."

Tia giggled politely, but she didn't say anything.

Elin hesitated, eying the Siamese for a second before she looked to the younger twin for confirmation. "...can it?"

"Well..." Mia grinned again, her head cocked to one side. "Let me put it this way. You remember Kavah?"

The lynx furrowed her brow, her tail crooking behind her into a vague semblance of a question mark. "What, that scrawny fox-kin that used to work in the kitchen?"

"Yeah," the Siamese confirmed, cheerfully. "That one. I kicked him once, like a year ago, after I found out he was cheating on me. Kicked him so hard that I swear, he lifted right up off the ground. He was howling and whimpering for hours."

"Heck," she licked her lips, purring smugly. "I just saw him last week. He still walks with a limp."

Elin blinked, her ears slicked back. "I, uh... wow. From one kick?"

"Actually, I kicked him too." Tia interjected.

The other two felines blinked in unison, before piping up simultaneously. "You did!?"

Tia had the good grace to look embarrassed, her gaze averted as she offered up the slightest smile. "Well, he was cheating on me, too. Ah... with Mia, apparently."

"Oh, that bastard." Mia was sitting up now, her ears slicked back as she looked genuinely angry.

Tia laughed, blushing ever so slightly as she glanced toward her twin, then back to her younger half-sister. "I, ah, actually wish I had known that before. I mean, I knew he was sleeping with that snake girl who passed through town with the carnival during the last summer festival, but..."

"I remember her!" Elin perked, her ears bolt upright. "She had that act where she hypnotized the mice, and- um... nevermind."

Mia scowled, "That scaly slut!"

The elder Siamese smiled demurely, her eyes rolled upward as she murmured. "Yes, well, Veridia was happy to show me how to, ah, teach him a lesson."

"Of course." Elin rolled her eyes. Veridia was a friend, but there was no denying her Amazonian heritage.

"Aw," Mia grumbled. "I wish I'd thought to ask her for tips. I probably could've, like, kicked Kavah twice as hard."

Tia smirked, and for a second she looked almost as evil as her younger twin. "Yes, well, then there wouldn't have been anything left for ME to kick."

"So dish!" Mia grinned, her irritation forgotten in an instant. "What happened?"

The elder Siamese paused delicately, her hands set to her thighs as she gave it a moment's thought. "Well, I confronted him, and he tried to plead innocence. Then I slapped him across the face."

"You SLAPPED him?" Mia scowled, her tail flicking back and forth behind her like an agitated serpent. "You said you KICKED him!"

Tia gestured dismissively, waving off her sibling's annoyance. "Yes, well, I did that too. Veri told me that it would distract him, and make him raise his guard. Then the second his hands were busy defending his face, I kneed him in the testicles as hard as I could."

Mia grinned wide, mirthfully displaying as many sharp teeth as she could. "Oh, that's perfect! Then what'd he do?"

"Oh, well..." Tia set one finger to her muzzle, thinking back. "Much the way you would expect him to, I suppose. He went up onto his toes, uttered a high-pitched whine, and collapsed on the ground clutching himself.

She wrinkled her nose, whiskers twitching distastefully. "Then he threw up. It was actually pretty gross."

"Eww..." Elin wrinkled her nose as well, matching her eldest sibling's expression. "Yuck. They never do that in the books."

Mia giggled gleefully, sitting up on the edge of her bed with her legs dangling freely. "Oh man, that's how you know you got him GOOD." She sighed, looking vaguely wistful. "I just wish I had been there to see it, though. It sounds great."

Tia blushed, her ears twitching back just slightly. "Yes, well, there really wasn't much to see after that. He just stayed huddled on the ground, rolling back and forth while making these high-pitched whimpering sounds. I think he was crying."

The younger Siamese rubbed her jaw, her legs kicking back and forth lazily. "Huh, he didn't cry when I kicked him. He actually wouldn't shut up. Just kept whining and moaning about how I'd kicked him in the nuts."

She grinned, her ears perked as she lilted her voice and tried to emulate his voice from memory. "Oh, Mia! My nuts! I can't believe you kicked me in the nuts! Oh gods, it hurts!" She snickered, her ears folding forward as she looked smug all over again. "Such a puppy. He's just lucky I wasn't wearing those boots that mom got me during the last Winter Festival."

"Oh, the ones with the wooden heels? Those are cute!" Elin gushed.

Mia smirked, swinging her leg at the knee in a more pointed motion. "Yeah, the lace-ups. I could probably do a lot of damage with those."

Tia giggled politely, but she shook her head. "Well, yes, but it's probably for the best that you didn't. As it is, I'm fairly certain that my knee actually DID cause some damage. I actually felt rather bad about that, but at least I know now that he was... pre-tenderized."

She pursed her lips, whiskers twitching as she mused aloud. "In retrospect, it certainly explains why he had a limp. I had just assumed that he had pulled something sleeping with the snake beastkin."

"Or that he'd gotten some kind'a snake disease," Mia snorted.

"Or, ah, yes. That." Tia made another distasteful expression, her ears slicked back at the thought.

"Well," Elin murmured softly, feeling genuinely sorry for the fox. "I hear they make potions for that, too."

Mia completely missed the sympathy, her ears ears twitched forward as she huffed. "Man, now I totally want to kick him again! I haven't gotten to bust a guy's balls in ages!"

Tia flicked an ear sideways, a brow arched as she looked to her twin. "Well, what about that nice tiger who's been seeing you every other week?"

"Naw," the younger Siamese sighed. "He cancelled. Said I was too mean, or whatever. Pussy."

Elin frowned, leaning back against her bed as she let the covers pool about her legs. "Well, um, it kind of sounds like he might have had a good reason."

Tia sighed as well, shaking her head slightly. "Oh, Mia, I told you that was going to happen if you kept ignoring the safe words. We have those for a reason."

The younger Siamese rolled her eyes, jaw cocked. "What. Ever. Anyways, it's beside the point. I haven't gotten to kick a guy in, like, forever!"

"Well, what about that mouse-kin that tried to-"

Mia scowled, shaking her head violently. "That was WEEKS ago! And I barely touched him! Veri did most of the work."

"Er," the lynx hesitated again, her ears drooping. "Wait, was that the guy they had to rush to the healer? I thought he fell down the stairs or something."

"Pff, yeah." The Siamese smirked again, shaking her head in bemusement. "Maybe AFTER Veri beat the snot out of him when I caught his hand in the till."

Elin blinked, her ears twitched back. "Oh, uh, I see."

Tia sighed, a hand set to her hip as she eyed her twin. "Mia, you're incorrigible. Honestly, sometimes I think you might not be happy until you've actually neutered some poor beastkin."

Mia grinned broadly, showing two dozen sharp teeth, but she said nothing.

The elder Siamese arched a brow, slipping off of Elin's bed and rising back to her feet. "Well, if you'll promise not to actually neuter him, I suppose we could go visit Kavah in the marketplace tomorrow..."

"Oh, Tia-" Mia leaned down, licking her sister right between the eyes. "I could kiss you!"

Tia laughed, demurely smoothing the fur at her forehead with a swipe of her paw. "Not unless there's a paying client, please. I don't need those kinds of rumors circulating."

The younger Siamese snickered again, pulling herself back up onto her bed before flicking a glance over toward the lynx. "Hey, Ellie, you want to come along? You could probably use the practice for the next time your lover comes into town."

Elin rolled her eyes, sliding out of bed. "Ugh, no thanks. Tomorrow's my day off, and I want to finish reading my story before the two of you ruin it any more than you already have." She snatched her book back out of Tia's paws and, with that done, she promptly returned to bed.

"And he's not my lover! He's just..." she paused, then finished lamely. "A writer that I, uh, like a lot."

"Riiiight." Mia giggled, her tailtip flicking back and forth behind her. "Well, if you want to see what HE likes a lot, then you'll want to check out pages forty-two, one-fifty-eight, and two-oh-five."

Tia smoothed out her whiskers, blushing delicately as she tried to stifle a soft purr. "Ah, and... page sixty-nine."

Elin sighed, the novel hanging limply in her paw. "Uh, yeah. That's... great. Thanks."

...she really needed to talk to her mother about getting her own room.