The shit life does to you.
First story, and I'm drunk as hell. Give me some feedback.Also need a artist. Email at [email protected]
I'm so sick of this shit. This isn't a fleeting feeling. A little fancy that changes from day to day. No, this is a feeling far more infected. Picture if you could, a festering blast of bile and shit being steadily pumped into your veins, one steady feed...Hour by hour...Day by day...Year by year. Every day you wake up...You feel this fucking concoction specially made for you slowly slip through your being. Dragging you back into the cess pit you just clawed your way out of. Now you have a little taste of my life. Everyday it starts...All because I take one look at my wife.
Guess I had better lay things out before shit gets too confusing. The name is Rufus. I'm a middle age otter living a middle income life. You know what I'm talking about. A shit house in the middle of a boring suburb slapped together by under payed Mexicans thats just rife with drug problems, abused spouses and broken families. You get just enough money to get by, but never enough to prosper. Enough to live, but not enough to live well. Always just one paycheck away from losing something you hate so much, but could'ent live without. Oh, there I went and rambled? Like I said before...Middle aged otter. Genetics always said I would be lean, streamlined to a tune. I used to take care of myself but....Shit. Once you get married your looks are the last thing you tend to worry about. Your not getting laid no matter how good you look. So I stay skinny, a little lanky even. I still have enough muscle in the right places to look healthy, but not much else. The standard cocoa brown fur, a head of semi-kept hair and a face that...Ten years back..Knew how to give a happy look. Now I just always look tired.
If you did not catch the drift yet, I am married. My wife....Fuck...My wife used to be a angel. A pretty little skunk with a body to die for and a tom boyish spark that got me to marry the bitch. The sharp personality, the banging little body..They are still there, but it's all getting taken up by her boss, or the neighbor, or her gym instructor. I lose track of who's she's fucking now and days.
This morning I wake up like any other. A slap to the alarm that brings me back to the world. The room sterile clean save for the smell of booze and sex that's still hanging on my wife so silently pretending to be asleep next to me. Like every other day I carry out the routine in a stern fashion. Shower, brush, dress and leave. Today its the white button up and black slacks. Enough to look professional, but enough not to get noticed at the office. The more your noticed, the bullshit you take. And Ive got enough bullshit piled up right now to feed a few African countries.
Like every morning, I mentally remind myself of the position I'm in. I remind myself that the world sucks, and that caring about it only makes things worse. The more numb you are, the less it hurts. Just be that....Be numb. Everything will roll right off you...The bad, the good...Both became a tasteless sludge that is neither hot nor cold...And since it is luke warm you swallow without much thought to the next spoonfull. I drive in the traffic, like all the other mindless little sheep. All praying for dollars and working for change. All thinking that if they just work hard enough, if they just keep trying..They will get somewhere better then this. I cant say one way or another for them. All I know is whoever told me hard work pays off was a fucking liar.
Work is escape for me. Next to sleep it's the only thing that keeps my mind of the fact that the only person Ive ever loved in life is getting stuffed with my neighbors dick...Probably loving it too. I still don't understand this all...How when I proposed...She cried...She clasped her paws to her lips, huffed up a sob...Looked to you in tears in her eyes and say " Oh my god...What took you so long." How you can watch the person that means the most to you just, ever so slowly...Grow bored with the life you've provided her. How you can watch that love that was the only redeeming thing in your life slowly fade and fade...Till all that was left was this..You holding onto the cold corpse that was your marriage...Praying to god that it'll start breathing again soon.
I stay in my little corner in the office. A gigantic floor of cubes holding little bodies typing away on computers and yelling into phones. The walls are lined with glass walled offices, one of which I'm so amazingly lucky to get. It lets me watch all the little drones humming about the office. One of the only things that keeps me sane is the image of what I could be...Of how my life in fact could be worse. Trapped behind my oak desk I stick to my work. My binding to sanity. I get lost in the contracts, the numbers and the rackets assigned. So lost in fact that I generally forget about a pair of eyes that have been drilling me the past few weeks. The eyes that belong to the cubicle across from my office. Pretty little slitted eyes, the narrow lines laced by strong hints of green.
These eyes belong to Bree. A slick little party girl turned middle management. When you go a few years without sex, your mind focused on the only person worth saving in your life fucking someone else....Well, lets just say you tend to loose all interest in anyone outside your little fucked up bubble. So you can imagine the little bit of shock that claimed my spine as this perfect little lithe figured mousie worked her slow strut into my office. I stand at a decent 6'2, she maybe around 5'0 even. It's almost hard not to laugh at the fact that I'm nearly as tall sitting in this office chair as she is standing. Like any mouse she's small and skinny. Some time in the gym gave this perfect little figure a tone...One that pressed out against that soft grey pelt just enough to keep her from looking like a malnourished midget. Throw on nice little set of hips. The curve just perfect to get a grip on. Not too much of a ass, but a good pair of mounds. Full, perky, and god knows the subject of countless sessions of masturbation. Her hair is that cheap platinum blond done up in some salon. All pulled back in one of those french braids thats pull back on a pretty little face. The girl is southern fried, her voice speaks in a slow, southern slang that just claims your ear " Hunny....I need tah see yah for a bit "
[Im too plastered to finish this shit. Time to spell check. I'll finish it later]