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Chapter Twelve - Don't Forget, but Forgive

For the second time since Midnight had left me, the sun was setting. I sat alone on a cold boulder near the city walls, with my tail and arms wrapped around my body. When the sun goes down, the night will come and try to rob all the heat from me so I hoped I could keep some of it preserved now and throughout the night.

All around me were refugees who had been denied access to the overcrowded city of Arktiline. They built their crude shelters where they could, in small clearings or even underneath the branches of these trees that defied the cold.

I was sitting on this boulder waiting for the last of my hope to find Midnight diminish. I haven't eaten in over a day, not even gotten a drink but my desperation to find the black wolf had kept me preoccupied. If I had stopped searching for him to find food or water, then I'd have no hope of finding him. Now, it was too late whether I stopped searching for him or not. Hunger and thirst was quickly overwhelming my desperation, but I still had a small hope that I would see Midnight here among these refugees.

Arktiline was the closer city from where Midnight was taken from me. I had hoped that those guards and Bran would have brought him to Arktiline because they might have had some transportation. I knew they were talking about going back to Sirmiq Harbor to board some ships but would they really walk all the way there from where we were at? If they did have domesticated mounts for transportation in this city then they would have already left and been long gone by now.

When I first arrived the day before I was allowed entrance to the city, or more rather I snuck in but I was still able to search the strange city for Midnight. I stayed close to the wall so that I wouldn't get lost, but I had still failed to find Midnight when I scouted out taverns, inns and even stables. There was no sign of the black wolf pup, the pine marten or the strange wolf guards.

It was a stupid idea for me to exit the city, but I was desperate. Maybe I would have seen Midnight and the wolves leaving. Maybe I had even somehow beat them to the city and they were still arriving. No matter how ridiculous the reason was, I gave in and walked back out of the city gates by clinging on to the tiny flicker of hope that I'd still find Midnight. Now everyone was being denied access to the city, except for those who were managing the refugees' current crisis.

When I had tried to gain access to the city again, I was smacked on the thigh by the butt end of a spear belonging to one of the guards. The guard seemed to have lost patience for turning away refugees, and he certainly was not in the mood to deal with an orphan among them. When I turned back to the refugee camps in search of somewhere to rest, it slowly dawned on me that I was too late to find Midnight. The other refugees went about their business, and I was completely ignored even after I found this boulder to climb on and rest for a few minutes.

I had hoped to follow Midnight, find him and persuade Bran and the guards that I wouldn't be much trouble if I could go along too. I am small; I don't eat a lot and I certainly don't take up a lot of room so I don't see why I couldn't go with Midnight. I was too late though, all because of Alec. I gritted my teeth and my lips curled back a bit thinking on that wolf who prevented me from following Midnight.

Seeing Midnight take each step further away from me, and that I was unable to follow felt like some thing had grabbed my heart inside my chest and was weighing it down. Alec held me back, even after I hit and bit him. Why did he care what happened to me? If he cared anything about me he would have let me follow Midnight. I remembered my hindpaws slipping in the soft ash, scraping against thorns beneath that ash as I tried to push myself away from Alec's grip.

His arms were too strong though. And I, I was too weak to get away from the adult wolf. I couldn't follow Midnight because I was too weak. The black wolf vanished from my life and I could do nothing to follow him; it felt like all my hopes of living with some small meaning were torn away with him. I can't do much on my own; I haven't even been able to find food on my own!

A tear fell from my eye and soaked into my fur, distracting me from my thoughts. I sniffled and brought the back of my paw to my eyes to wipe away the tears. I tried to push the thoughts from my mind now; I didn't need to be crying now when I was so dehydrated.

My muzzle was dry from not having a drink in a while so I licked around my teeth, only to find that my tongue felt rough like sandpaper. All it seemed to do was absorb up most of the moisture around my gums and teeth. My throat almost felt scaly and it even felt like it was burning a bit. I gulped empty air, but the urge to feel cool crisp water running down my throat now competed with my body's hunger.

Remembering the river that I had seen when coming down from the hills, I decided to jump down from the boulder. The refugees nearby ignored me, ignorant to the simple pains I was feeling and I knew there was no chance that they'd help me satisfy my thirst. Asking them to satisfy my hunger was even more out of the question; because this was the first time many of them truly felt hunger. They used to eat whenever some of the food that they had eaten was digested and granted them room to fit more and satisfy their cravings; but that was completely different to the hunger you feel when you have no food in your stomach.

When I was thirsty and not near the river back in Sirmiq, sometimes I'd eat the snow, but all the snow was covered by ash right now. Most of it had melted by the ash's heat as well, and what remained was too dirty to even consider eating. The ash and dirt would dehydrate me more than the snow would hydrate me. I had no choice but to find the river that I had seen run through the valley, and the city itself. I chose to walk paralell to the wall, confident that I'd find it eventually.

My throat feeling dry combined with the hunger, that was warning me that my body soon would start feeding on itself, made me feel weak and light-headed. Slowly walking along the wall, I stumbled a few times because it was difficult to keep my balance. Other refugees seemed to be headed in the same direction, and even though they ignored me, I was glad that they were walking with me. Chances were that they were headed that way too because they too were thirsty.

It took nearly two kilometers before I could hear the sound of the river. I had heard that it was flooded, but not as bad as the other river we crossed on the other side the hills. The adults talked how when that first river flooded, it destroyed a good portion of Sirmiq. Not to mention that I vividly remembered how afraid I was crossing that river three times.

The river appeared in front of me quicker than I had expected, and saw that even though the water was dirtier than it should be, it was relatively clean to the brown waters of the other river. Kneeling down next to the shore, I was too thirsty to care about lapping up water. Instead I buried my muzzle beneath the surface and took large gulps. The water was slightly discolored, and I could feel the sediments scratching along my throat but I drank until my stomach was heavy with water.

Pulling my muzzle out from the water, it dripped heavily with large drops back into the river. The dry feeling of my throat, and the rough feel of my tongue had been washed away at the touch of the cool gulps of water, allowing me to sigh in relief. My stomach was full of water but it did nothing to satisfy my hunger, but for now I had taken care of one of my discomforts. With the back of my paw, I rubbed my muzzle to get the excess water off. The sun was disappearing behind the horizon now and it wouldn't do me any good to have all this water freeze on my fur overnight.

The other refugees simply filled buckets or baskets full of water and were returning to the camp. None really bothered drinking from it the way I had.

Even though my stomach felt stretched with all the water I had just gulped down, I turned back to the camp in search of food. Now that I knew where the river was, I could drink and bathe whenever I wanted. A bath did sound refreshing because of the ash that still lingered in my fur but now was not the time. I had to find something to eat. Without Midnight's help, I didn't know how successful I would be.

There were other hunting parties that were still out and would be returning with food, but there was no chance to steal from them. They were armed guards after all. There might be traps and snares that others have set around the camps but the chances of me even finding one of those traps was next to impossible. Whatever food and livestock that had been brought along was carefully guarded. With everyone so hungry, there was no chance that there'd be scraps lying around anywhere.

Slowly darkness covered the sky, and by the time that I had returned to camp, only the horizon glowed a dull orange from the reflected light of the sun below the horizon. A few campfires had sprouted up around the camps, mostly in the clearings where the fire wouldn't spread and start another wildfire. I remembered that the hunters gave their food to cooks to feed as many as possible. With hope, I walked toward one of the fires to see a large cauldron sitting over it and a line of refugees eager for some food. Maybe I could get some food without having to steal some.

I looked at the line and saw how long it was though. At the rate they were going it'd be an hour before I could get some food. My ears fell a bit, and my stomach growled demanding to be fed now and not in an hour, but I had no other choice but to go find the back of the line. I never had to wait in a line before, but I have seen children being scolded for trying to get ahead. If I were to run up to the cauldron and asked for food, I would probably risk a beating.

Following the line to the back, I stopped when I heard a familiar, whining voice of a certain female pup. Looking a dozen meters down the line, I saw a family of five familiar wolves. The eyes that were once looking down at his pups looked up and met mine. Alec.

Seeing the wolf brought back the memories of my futile attempts to followed Midnight. The hopes that were ripped from my heart while Alec held me down.

"Snowy?" I could see the wolf's muzzle say. His expression betrayed his shock that I was there. "Snowy!" his voice yelled.

My ears splayed back when his voice brought back the memory of him ignoring my pleas. I had begged for him to let me go so I could followed Midnight but the wolf had let my only friend walk out of my life. Without Midnight, I was always hungry, cold and afraid of being beaten by adults and larger orphans. Midnight had all those discomforts vanish when we first met, and for the first time in my life I had felt happy to wake up in the morning rather than out of obligation because I was starving.

Alec cruelly took the black wolf away from me. He can't do for me what Midnight did because Alec has his own family that he'll always prioritize over me. He took away the wolf that had placed his trust in me, and I in him; how could I forgive Alec for that?

The adult wolf took a step away from his family and toward me. That was all I needed to spin on my hindpaw and run the other away. "Snowy! Wait!"

His voice echoed behind me but I ignored him and continued to run. If waiting in that line meant having Alec capture me then it wasn't worth it. I'd find food another way.

Still the hunger of having no food to eat slowed me down after I ran away from the line, and the cauldron full of food. Looking back, I didn't see Alec following me so I slowed down to a walk. Hunger demanded that I find food but it fogged my mind with exhuation. With no food to ebb that exhuation, and little hope of finding anything to eat tonight, all I wanted to do was to sleep now. The short sprint I ran away from Alec took more energy than I realized because I was now finding it more of an effort to lift my hindpaws very far off the ground. The claws on my hindpaws tracked through the ash, leaving small trail marks.

Finding the spot where I've slept the last two nights, underneath the roots of a tree that was somewhat uprooted, I was reminded what running away a couple days ago had cost me. The cloths that Midnight and I had salvaged from the gazebo rooftop were left with Alec when I ran off. All I had now was the clothes I now wore, which the shirt was borrowed from one of Alec's pups, a dagger that'd be taken from me if I tried to threaten anyone with it, and a silver ring that Midnight gave to me before he left. I now wore it on arm, under the sleeve of my shirt so that no one would see it. I didn't dare think about trading it for food, it was the only thing I had left to remember Midnight by.

Crawling under the roots I lied down and curled my tail around me. Resting my head on my paws, I stared out blankly at the stars that were still brightening in the night. It was cold without Midnight's fur so close to mine, and with no one beside me to help me wake up in the morning made me feel truly alone. The black wolf could no longer help find me food, the way he had, like when he had even surprised me with food in the morning a few times in Sirmiq when he had woken up early. He shared with me, kept me warm and kept me company. Now he was gone.

I closed my eyes before they started to glaze over in tears again, and pointed my nose toward my chest to curl up into a tighter ball. There was nothing I could do about being alone now so I pushed those thoughts out of my head and went to sleep.

The next few days didn't go much better. I found a bone here and there that I'd eat but every step I took required more strength than the previous one. I was losing weight, on my already starved frame, and could feel my skin drawing tight around my bones and what little remained of my muscles. Large quantities of fur had started to fall out almost like I was shedding but spring was still another month or two away.

To make the situation worse, an illness had broken out over the camps and refugees were dying. I did my best to stay away from the ill but they were everywhere. Coughing, sneezing and sniffles were always heard and the majority of the food went to those who were sick. Still there wasn't enough food to go around so at the end of the fourth day of arriving at Arktiline, I saw that three refugees had died to the illness.

Sitting against a tree early one morning, I hung my head low and waited for any possibility of eating something. My entire body ached, my muscles having been literally fed on by my own body. Each breath was labored, and my head was in constant fog that sometimes blurred my vision and dulled my hearing. I didn't know if I had caught the illness but I was too starved that I didn't think it'd matter. I was still probably going to die.

I wanted to cry but it required too much energy. Even though drinking from the river hydrated me, my eyes were still dry. If Midnight had never left, we would have been fine, and had enough to eat to keep us alive. With him gone, I was hopeless when it came to finding my own meal among these refugees. Would no one take pity on me? I'm literally dying from starvation but the refugees continue to ignore me. Is the world truly so cruel?

A breeze wafted against me, stirring my fur and pulling some of it from my body. I huddled myself against the breeze, but with it came a slight rusty scent: the scent of blood. I lifted my head and sniffed at the air, and sure enough it was blood. It made my stomach growl with hunger.

Shakily I put my hindpaws beneath me and tried to push myself up. It required all the strength I had just to stand, but I still stumbled back to the ground. My legs ached as if they were being dissolved in acid but I had to ignore it. I placed a paw on the tree I was leaning against to steady me until I was standing upright. Turning toward the breeze that had brought the delicious smell with it, I took a step forward. Shifting weight from one hindpaw to another caused my legs to shake. They were too weak to carry me but the hope for food kept me moving forward.

The scent led me away from the camps and toward the river. When I had reached the waters, that were still calming, I saw that it was starting to freeze over. It must have been thawed out by the eruption like the other river, but even though it was freezing, the scent urged me to find a way to cross. Glancing up and down the river I saw no crossing, but there was a part of the river that looked shallow. Hunger outweighed my caution and I stepped into the icy waters. The cold invaded my fur, penetrating it just barely but enough for me to shiver with my depleted muscles.

The water came up to my shoulders and I felt the current had nearly swept me off my hindpaws. I didn't know how to swim but I splashed around and tried to stay in the shallower waters. Being swept into the deeper and rougher currents then I'd certainly drown. The current continued to push on me, threatening to drown me, but with enough splashing around, my hindpaws again touched the bottom of the river easily enough. I waded out of the waters and continued following my nose. Step by step, I made my way into the trees toward the scent that was getting stronger with each breeze until I finally heard it: the rustling of a tree branch not far ahead.

I had to blink a few times to see clearly but there was a small animal tied up in a tree with a wooden steak through its leg. Blood leaked down the animal's upside down body as it slowly bled out. Pulling out my dagger I walked up to the animal and stabbed its neck unceremoniously. With the poor creature put out if its misery, I cut the string that held it in the tree, and immediately cut into its fur. It was the same small mammal that Alec had taught Midnight and me to cut open when we went hunting so I tried to follow what instructions I could remember.

With the strong scent of the animal's blood filling my nose, my hunger persisted and caused my stomach to turn in knots. I was too hungry to properly dissect the animal. With a savage hunger, I cut out meat of the animal's flesh and stuck it in my mouth. The raw meat was chewy, and the bones crunched easily under my teeth but it didn't satisfy my hunger, it only fueled me to eat more. I sat down harshly near the trap and tried to dig out more meat to eat. But I wasn't the only one to have smelled the blood.

Two bites of raw meat were all I had gotten down before I heard something else approaching. Looking up I saw someone larger than me approaching, but it was not who could have set the trap. It was a lynx that had bite marks on his ear, an orphan that I had encountered before, and that those bite marks matched the pattern of my teeth. Certainly there were other wounds he had under his fur that probably matched from when Midnight attacked him to protect the preserved food we stole in Sirmiq.

"Give it..." the lynx started to say but he hoarsely coughed which caused him to wince in pain. He had gotten sick from the illness to. He looked starved as well but he kept stepping toward me as if his life depended on stealing what I had found; which it really did. "Give it to me."

"We can share," I suggested, hoping that the lynx would agree to helping me the same way Midnight had. Maybe he'd remember me from our fight and see how much better Midnight and I did together rather than separate.

"I need it all," coughed the lynx but his voice had a small, even if weak, growl emphasizing his words. "Give it to me or I'll beat you up." It wasn't a very large threat coming from a weak and sick orphan but it was still a threat. The lynx had no intention of sharing any of the animal with me, or giving the idea of finding food together any thought. It truly seemed like Midnight was the only one to care about me before.

"No," I said and shook my dizzy head. The lynx growled and aggressively walked toward me. My hunger overrode any fear of being beaten, and I bit down and tore a large chunk of the animal off with the intent of eating it all before the lynx could take it from me. But the lynx growled when I bit the animal and jumped at me. Before I could even reach for my dagger to defend myself, the lynx tackled me. Both of his paws grabbed the animal and pulled away but I held on. I leaned back trying to use my weight to rip the animal from the other orphan's paws but the lynx didn't hesitate and he bit down on my arm, his teeth sinking into my flesh.

"Noo!" I cried when the animal was ripped from my grip. I was thrown forward when I held on too long, and fell to the ground on my paws and knees. I reflexively held my arm where he had bitten and looked up after the lynx who ran off with the only real food I've had in almost a week. "That's mi--" My voice cracked, my throat too hoarse to scream. "Mine." I muttered. "Why?"

The lynx did not even try to help me. I could have helped him find food too and we both would have done better off. Was Midnight the only one who really knew that working together works better than alone? Midnight was the only one to care about me, and not because out of obligation. There wouldn't be anyone like him in my life again.

The food that would have saved my life was torn from me and I could do nothing about it. Why am I so weak!? I cursed myself. If I was stronger, like Midnight, then I would survive but no, I'm going to die now because I'm too weak.

Tears that would not come earlier now flooded my eyes and dripped down into my cheek fur. Defeated, I felt too tired to keep supporting myself on my paws and knees but if I were too fall over now I was afraid I'd never get up again. My arms and legs shook until I decided that I had to get up now or never again. Still shaking though I pushed myself up onto my hindpaws.

I had to go find some more food, even if it met being beaten by guards, adults or anyone else that is stronger than me. Wiping away my tears, I stepped back toward the camps. Each step was laborious but I took it slow; the small amount of food I had eaten being the only thing that granted me strength to walk.

I thought it was bad when I was so cold that I could feel my metabolism keeping me warm but now I was so weak that I could feel my metabolism giving me strength. No one should ever get this weak, but I have.

The sun that was already threatening to shrink beneath the horizon again, and had started to give way to the darkness. Nearly an hour had passed before I found the edges of the camps again. I was drenched from having to wade through the water again, cold to the bone and starting to sneeze. My head even started to build pressure, giving me a persistent headache.

Night was falling though so cooks would be busy giving out food. Maybe I could find some scraps near one of their tents that weren't put in the cauldron of soup. It was a better chance than waiting in line; which I had tried a few days ago. I was pushed around time until I was at the back of the line, at which point the soup ran out long before I could reach it. My only hope was to steal something.

Walking through the camps, I saw the usual guards walking around and trying to recruit workers to go back to Sirmiq to rebuild. Food was promised to the workers but when I inquired about food, they said that it wasn't a job for me. I was too young, I was an orphan, others were prioritized over me, no one wanted to be near me or for whatever reason, I was once again subjected to the having food denied to me by these cruel refugees and guards. I had known to expect it but I was still upset when I realized that they really did not care if I were to die. They have been recruiting all week to help give all the refugees a home again, but it was going too slow. Now they were being selective because they wouldn't take anyone who had come down with the illness.

I avoided the guards regardless, and walked toward the clearing that usually served food. There was the usual fire and cauldron cooking soup, with the dozens of refugees eager for a small bowl. I tried to keep unnoticed and stay behind the tents and small huts that have been erected all over outside the walls of Arktiline.

Creeping closer to the cook's tent, I saw that there were scraps of food in small bins. They looked like parts that no one usually ate but the cook probably wouldn't miss if I took a pawful. There was more food inside the tent, I could smell it, but the cook wasn't more than two meters from the entrance of the tent. If he caught me stealing some scraps he wouldn't care as much as if I were to try to enter the tent; that'd certainly invite a beating more severe than I'm willing to take.

Still, I tried not to be noticed when I inched around the cooks tent and risked exposing myself to a bit of the campfire's light. I saw the nearest bin of scraps of some sort of vegetable, not really something suitable for my diet but it was something. I reached down for it, but a shadow loomed over me when I did. I looked up to see a large polar bear guard staring down at me.

"Bugger off," he growled at me. "There's no food here for thieves. Go wait in line like everyone else." Staring up at the guard, I hesitated a moment, considering my options of risking a beating or go off without eating. There was no way I'd be allowed to eat if I were to go wait in line again. That moment hesitation as all the guard needed to draw back his hindpaw for a kick. Seeing the danger, I quickly turned to try to run off but I felt the boot impact my upper thigh painfully. Rubbing my thigh I ran away from the guard; he must have been standing guard over the food that everyone was so desperate to get.

I'd have to find food somewhere else. That night I was unsuccessful in finding any more food. The few bites of the animal caught in the trap were digested and its energy used up just to keep me alive. The next morning I woke up on empty, with the headache having only grown in intensity. The morning sun didn't greet me this morning either; thick clouds covered it. It seemed a storm has made its way here so soon after the ash was cleared from the sky.

Crawling out from under the roots I slept beneath, I tried to stand but found that with the pain of my headache and my starved body did not allow me to stand. On my paws and knees, I tried again through sheer willpower to push myself up but my body only trembled, and the pain intensified. I coughed violently, my voice sounding hoarse in its cough. I contracted the illness. If it doesn't kill me first, then certainly starvation will.

My arms shook under my own body weight, and I stared at the ground beneath me. I could not stand. I was so tired. Giving up, I shifted my weight slightly until gravity took over and pulled me to the ground. I hit the ash-covered ground hard, feeling my cheek bone hitting a root of the tree I slept under. Ash puffed out around me before settling back to the ground again.

I lied there taking deep and labored breaths, too weak to move. My body continued to tremble as my own weight was crushing me, and cold invading me. The pain of my headache intensified from when I hit the ground and it would not dull. I could even feel a slight soreness from where my cheek hit the root, no doubt a bruise forming there underneath my fur.

I closed my teary eyes, trying my best to ignore the pain. I was too weak, too pathetic to even curl up to protect myself from the cold. My felt myself slipping into unconsciousness, due to pain, starvation and cold. I didn't fight it, it was the only relief from pain I was recieving.

Before I was too far gone, I felt a snowflake fall on the end of my nose. How appropriate that the snow would come and cover me now. My ears were ringing and I could not even open my eyes. Breathing heavy and labored breaths, the last thing I saw was a dull darkness before I slipped away.

Who would have thought you'd dream when you're dead? Not dream really, but remember. The memory of how broken I felt when I was beaten in the alley for breaking the ox's cart. I could smell the bread again that Midnight had put in front of my nose. I could hear his cheerful and joking comments. I felt chastised about it at the time, but now the memory made me feel almost a little bit warmer.

I remembered how upset I was when Midnight tore the only pair of pants I owned. Seeing him standing there with that shocked expression had made me upset but now it almost lifted my spirits. I attacked him but I didn't really want to hurt him; I was just upset. We were both naked, and I remembered that even though I was trying to hit Midnight at the time, I had felt safe with him, and even warm from our close body contact. My regret was that I wished I never had attacked Midnight over something so trivial.

Watching over my short life, the happiest moments were always with Midnight. Then, the volcano erupted and my life changed. I watched with the other citizens of Sirmiq as the dark clouds of ash started to cover the sky. It blocked out all light and made it as dark as a cloudy night. Midnight was there with me suddenly, standing across the river. Behind moved a figure I had come to fear.

"Midnight," I had wanted to scream but my voice was not heard. I tried to move forward but all of sudden I was knee deep in the ash. A sharp spike penetrated my skull, making my eyes tear up as I tried to warn the wolf about the danger.

The reptilian moved closer to the unaware black wolf. When the shadow of the ash covered him, so did the shadow of the reptilian. The wolf turned just in time to see the assassin's blade being plunged up through his chest.

"No!" I screamed, watching my only friend be impaled on the sword. "Midnight." The wolf stumbled back and fell into the river, disappearing beneath its dark depths.

The pain again sharpened and everything faded to black. There was an orange glow and I felt exhausted, despite the fact I was dead. The orange glow soon faded though and was replaced by the scene when the reptilian tried to drown Midnight. I knew the reptilian was now a dangerous threat so I reached for my dagger with full intent on stabbing the assassin. But the dagger wasn't hanging on my hip like it should be.

I had to save Midnight. I exposed my claws and charged at the reptilian but he easily knocked me to the side with swipe of his scaly tail. I fell into the water and beneath the waves but was able to resurface. When I looked at the reptilian, my lungs clenched tightly. There were three arrows sticking out of the reptilian, one through the eye and it leaked a steady flow of blood down his face. The reptilian turned to look at me and reached down to hold me beneath the waves.

Submerged again, I started to violently cough while my afterlife dreams faded and gave way to that dark orange glow again. My body felt heavy, and I leaned over to cough out warm water until it was removed from my lungs. Breathing shakily I rested my head back and stared at that orange glow. I heard voices but they were far off, and mumbled together. Either way, I faded off again.

Sometimes I didn't know if I was being tortured in my afterlife for some reason because I kept drifting from one nightmare situation to another. Other times, I was with Midnight and he spoke to me about one of his other stories again. The stories never entertained me but hearing and seeing the wolf again made me forget all about the adventures to those hellish nightmares I was being dragged to. Sometimes his voice would sound different though and he'd say the strangest things that I didn't quite understand. After what felt like my lifetime all over again, the memories and dreams faded away to blackness.

In dark silence there is no way to tell the time but I know a great length of it had passed before that darkness was invaded by that orange glow. With the glow came a dull pain that caused my eyes to flicker open. I didn't understand the point of the orange glow but I just waited until my afterlife continued to remember my real life. A few seconds passed though and the orange glow didn't fade. Maybe it was time that I moved on to whatever awaited me after the visions of my old life... but why was it taking so long?

I blinked a few times before I realized that my eyes were open! The dull pain was invading not only my head but also my whole body. Looking down through my blurred-filled vision, I could see that I was covered with a leather blanket. Resting my head back I looked around me to see five familiar wolves, Alec and his family. I'm not dead?

Breathing slowly, I still felt a bit suffocated as if I couldn't get enough air. I tried to raise my head but it sharpened the pain that was still ravaging my body. I tried to remember what last happened but with all the dreams I had been having, I didn't know what was real and what was fake. I didn't remember what had last happened to me, or how I came to be in Alec's small hut. One thing was clear though, that he saved my life.

With the painful condition my body was in, I also felt the weight of sleeping for a long period of time invade my head. I slowly tried to push myself up again, ignoring the sharpening pain but it felt like I was trying to pull myself out of a pit of muddy clay. My body weighed down on me and it was almost too heavy to lift up. With a tremendous amount of effort, and all my strength, I pushed myself to sit up.

Alec was sleeping in a small makeshift cot with Lexandra and all their pups. I was sleeping on a smaller makeshift cot near the dull embers that still burned in the middle of the hut. The light they gave off glowed orange on the top of the hut, while the smoke went out of the middle.

I felt hungry but was surprised that I didn't feel starved. The wolves had even fed me while I was unconscious. My pants were hanging up near the fire on a line, appearing to have been washed and dried while my borrowed shirt seemed to be missing.

Still Alec had taken Midnight away from me. I pushed the blanket off of me and realized that I was naked. The only thing I still wore was the silver arm-ring that Midnight had given me. Regardless, I tried to stand. I stumbled back when my knees buckled underneath me but I caught myself by placing a paw on the cot. I tried to steady myself, my legs shaking until finally I could find my balance again.

Looking up I saw that there was a small amount of light shining against the smoke that rose through the gap in the hut's roof. A bit of light outlined the entrance of the hut as well; the light was coming from outside. Shakily, I took a step toward the exit and slowly learning how heavy my body was. The hut wasn't big though so I reached the exit of the hut in a few steps, opened it and stepped outside. First thing I noticed was the large amount of snow covering everything, it reflecting brightly back at me. I looked up through the trees to see both moons were out and one was even full. The cold felt relieving to feel on my fur but at the same time it was too cold and made me shiver. I stared at the moons despite the cold.

I heard rustling behind me and out from the hut stepped a half dressed adult wolf, Alec. He sighed with relief before admitting, "I thought you ran off."

The moons held my gaze, something about them giving me strength to withstand the cold. Strength to also tolerate having the wolf who took away my friend standing near me.

"Why don't we go back inside where it's warm?" Alec suggested, placing a warm paw on my bare shoulder. He glanced up at the moons too but seemed less interested. "They're beautiful tonight."

"Why did Midnight have to go?" I asked, my voice quiet and hoarse. Speaking made my throat feel scratch but Alec heard me regardless of my weak voice.

"There was a shipwreck a few years ago," Alec told me, looking down at me. "A family of wolves were travelling on that ship, and they all went down with it except for a newborn puppy. Being place in a chest that floated to the shore saved that solid black wolf. A vixen found the pup and cared for it while she looked for the parents, but that vixen drowned in the river soon after, and no one ever heard from the wolf pup again. Dead or alive, no one knew but there wasn't much hope for the pup to survive. Still there was a chance the pup had grown enough to start living on the streets. No one knows how the ship went down but it was full of Kietan citizens. If Midnight is that pup, then he is a citizen of Kietan. He belongs back in Kietan."

So many adults would be interested in Midnight because he might belong to a shipwreck? There was more to the story but Alec wasn't telling me. He must be the heir to something but what is there in Kietan? I never heard anything of any one of importance living in Kietan. The monarch that ruled over this land doesn't live there; he lived further south in some other strange city. Or at least that's what I've come to believe from what I have overheard when adults gossiped.

The moons reflected from my eyes while I tried to push the thoughts of Alec's betrayal out of my mind. He did save my life, so maybe he did really care.

"If you want to leave, I won't force you to stay with us," Alec said after a long moment. "If you leave though I can't help you anymore Snowy. I won't let you become a beggar for your whole life. You're free to go. You didn't do so well last time you ran away from us though so I would like it if you stayed with us. You're not my pup, but I have come to care for you. You're so young but you did help my family when I asked for some food. Besides, Toki has taken a liking to you. Ena and Ace had even stopped complaining about you the past three days, even though you have been unconscious for that time. Lexandra and I want to make sure you're safe and you stay safe."

One of the moons started to eclipse the other, the full moon monopolizing the sky. The crescent moon disappeared. The cold started to get to me and my exhaustion started to demand more rest. I was allowed to continue living on my own, Alec wouldn't stop me. Still, seeing him and hearing his voice though reminded me of the most painful moment of my life, when Midnight was taken from me.

I tore my gaze from the moons and looked at the adult wolf. He was tired for being up in the middle of the night but he did his best to smile at me. Maybe I could forgive him, just this once.

Turning in the snow, I walked back into the hut full of wolves to get some more rest.