Iconoclast reboot part 1

Story by Bennu on SoFurry

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#1 of Iconoclast reboot

I might as well throw it online so I'll stop fussing with minor details. IF you actually read the old stuff, this is at least 2/3 new.

WARNING: Monkey truth ahead. We've sailed beyond the range of canon!

Contains references to fornication, intoxication, and various other enjoyable activities that I would rather indulge in instead of just writing about.


195 (Fourth Era)

The first morning of the new year is clear and crisp as the bacon- nice, juicy Cyrodiil hog! I'm making a nice breakfast for me mostly, since everyone else seems to be hungover, but being a Nord has a few perks... especially if you're the only one in a caravan full of Khajiit. Oh, and one Argonian named Bob, who stumbles out of our tent, blinded by the sun and looking queasy- resist poison potions can only handle so much booze.

Once he sits I hand him a cup of coffee spiked with cure poison potion. He groans- "Ugh, food smells nasty... at least we're upwind of that place." -glancing at the walls of Riften, which sits behind us, its crusty dirt covered in snow from last night's storm. This is the only town where I don't mind camping outside, although Windhelm is crappy too, at least it doesn't have a giant open sewer in the middle of it.

I let him sit quietly, and then Saressi comes out. The dark furred Khajiit matron in charge of our route is sober but still sleepy looking, and sits down next to me and yawns-

"Ah, you wore me out last night, how can you be up so earrrly hmm?"

"Hungry... and wanted to make you this..." as I feed her a strip of bacon.

"Ah, you know I love bacon- two gifts, sex and food, this must be a very good holiday- or you want a raise. In which case I hope you enjoyed the sex and bacon, because that's your raise."

Bob snorts, then coughs, not quite feeling better, and I grope her ass-

"Ah, you wench, always taking advantage of young lads like me!"

"Stop, you had your share, plus some! I swear, cold weather makes Nords hornier."

"It's all those centuries of trying to get warm by fucking all winter."

"Ugh, I'm cold already, I'm gonna go back in my tent and finish this."

Bob says- "Oh, hey, can I come in too, I don't feel like hurking my guts everywhere now." and she replies "Yeah, let's chat. Have fun cooking, smooth skin."

By then the others have come out, Kharjo and a couple of new kids straight out of Elseweyr, staring with big eyes at all the snow and ice before sitting down around the fire. I briefly met them last night, but was preoccupied with my other quest and barely spoke to them then. As I toss around ingredients the orange tabby watches curious, and I ask her-

"So do you cook, or do alchemy?"

"Oh both, but this one has prracticed much more alchemy. I see you are mixing blue flowers in with the wheat to make biscuits."

"That's for restore health. To go on it I'm mixing some frost miriam with snowberry jelly to keep the chill away."

She scoots closer and asks "So are you the chef? Why is a Nord in a Khajiit camp?"

"I'm Hrothmund, and I do cook, at least breakfast. I'm not just going to tell a stranger all about myself, though."

She smiles "This one is called Makari, although they seem to think it is funny when I say it means virgin cream? It is my fur color yes, like crrream and oranges, I have cream all over my belly- are you smiling?"

I grin as I see she hasn't quite wrapped up her front enough, and her nipples are protesting the new climate- "Oh, it's very cute, and sounds tasty but I can't get my hands on any oranges, it's too cold for them here."

Watching the food instead of my face she says "Yes, I had no idea! I just became old enough that I could trravel frreely and wanted to take a long trip to see things. So, carrravan- but why are you with cats? They said all the caravans here are Khajiit."

"Well most are... Bob's family owns a store in Chorrol, he just came with me to see how the Nords party."

"Bob is not an Argonian name."

"It's short for Bounces on Branches."

"Oh, everyone has an interesting name- what does Hrothmund mean?"

I snort- "Ha, it's just some ancient warrior. My family has a farm near Markarth, and hoped I'd be brawny, but I wanted to play with Dwemer machines, so I became an adventurer and found work with the caravans. Most Nords dislike Khajiit, but I'm open minded... obviously. Then I... well, I just wanted to run around Skyrim until I figured out what to do with myself, so I joined the Traders Guild, thanks to Saressi..."

"I noticed you are close..." she tries to look uninterested, and I hear a snicker or two as I pass around the food. I hand her a plate loaded with sausage, bacon, and Elseweyr fondue and say-

"Ah, she is a friend, and last night was a special occasion, a year end bonus you can say. That and to keep warm!"

"Makari is from a village in Elseweyr, on the edge of the desert. This one had always walked on warrrm sands before I went on caravan. It is beautiful here, but I don't know if I can live in ice."

"Oh, this is just a random winter storm- normally Riften stays fairly green. You should get some warmer clothes, though, but not this town, it's too shabby."

"Yes, Khajiiti have very good sense of smell. Where should I go shopping, then?"

"Oh, I have a few pelts- I am a smith, so I need leather- come to my tent and I'll show you my fur."

She laughs, "Ah, you know Khajiit and say that hmm?"

I sigh, for once I wasn't making a bad pun. She grabs my arm and says-

"Well, come on." and we duck into the tent and she looks around, commenting-

"You travel light, hmm? Bow, sword, herbs, fur..." -as I sort through my loot, I nod-

"Yes, easier to escape quickly that way. I had plans to rent a house in Chorrol to store things in, but emergency forced our little group up here for a while."

"Oh, it is a nice place I hear. Oh, that is a nice big thick fur! Definitely not off a Khajiit, ha ha."

I wrap the large pelt around her shoulders, tying the arms around her front and say "Oh no I just bone Khajiit..."

She shyly curls up- "Oh no, this one is not wanting you to get a bad impression, as you say, I have played some games but... prefer Mara to Sanguine. Perhaps we should go back out, yes?"

"You might want to pay for your pelt first!"

Her eyes widen- "But I don't have much gold... I have rrrecipes, yes, we can share that, yes, this one will share her cookbook... I will get it from my tent."

When she returned, we spent the morning at the fire trading notes about alchemy. I am no expert but I know the local ingredients for basic things like restore health, and all the local ingredients were new to her.

In the afternoon everyone got together for talk of business, and exploring the safe terrain near town, and then that night I got to see her other skills. Someone brought out drums, pounding away, and they jumped up to dance, and I watched Makari stamping her bare foot-paws on the ground, twitching her tail, shaking her rump, a fast desert dance.

They did several styles of dance to show off, and then we had couples dances, and I tried my best to trot around with each lady, Saressi noticing my interest in the girl, and as we sit resting playfully fusses at me for chasing kittens-

"You were just in my bed, and now you pounce on her!"

"What? I have not pounced, I have chatted about common interests, and provided for my road-sister."

"Well you should be cautious with her, she is a desert cat and not used to human ways. I don't need drama."

"Yes, clan mother!"

For a month we huddled in the snow, chatting and flirting, then we were able to go back down into Cyrodiil. I took a wagon load of Dwemer junk and rented a house in Chorrol, filling the basement with half-broken machines. It was there I first kissed Makari- I hadn't actually kissed a Khajiit before, despite the times I had done other things. We were tipsy from a night at the bar and had to experiment with how to match human and Khajiit lips. However, work interfered, we were moved to different schedules and would only see each other once a week, but that made us more excited to see each other. I hadn't had any romance in ages, and the warming weather put me in the mood...