FSE

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My life with blaziken chapter 10

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-I said earlier that this would be a request chapter, I jumped the gun on that and I would like to clarify that this is not

-chapter ten promises to be interesting.

-this chapter would have been up yesterday, but I was having computer troubles

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So I was up till four in the morning watching tv, but I did manage to get some sleep.

*yawn* I was still tired though, if anyone decides today is going to involve sex, they will be disappointed. I got a loud wake up call from Helios and blaziken, namely a loud banging noise coming from that room.

"Could you keep it down?" I groaned and rolled over. Problem was I'm on a couch, I rolled onto the floor and hit my face on the carpet.

"I hate this couch" I muttered and got up to make some cereal. I opened the cabinet and what a surprise, no cereal.

"Ok, who ate my cereal" I shouted down the hallway

"That was Helios" came Becky's voice from my room. Goddamn you Helios, I will have vengeance, me and my cereal brethren will have our revenge... Am I high right now? Either that or I'm way more tired than I thought. I do have some "inspiration" in a box under my bed, so I could be high... Probably not, I grabbed some bread out of the breadbox and ate some of it, ahhh bread, how I love my bread.

"Becky, you want some bread?" I shouted down the hall again.

"Is that a sex thing or actual bread" she shouted back, I suppose I would make a joke, that is I were less baked... I mean tired... what did I do last night?

"It's actual bread" I said to her

"Why would I want bread?" She asked me, apparently not a bread lover.

"Looks like its just you and me bread"I said to the loaf

"Your fucking weird" I heard Becky shout from my room, I suppose the public isn't ready for my complicated relationship with bread. I heard a knock on the door, who could be at the door at... I glanced at the clock... eight in the morning.

"Hello?" I asked as I opened the door, I was not expecting a tall guy in a fedora on my doorstep.

"Are you Patrick Webb?" The man asked me in a voice that wasn't nearly as deep as his body would suggest.

"Depends who's asking" I said to him, he seemed the type of guy that you don't mess with, but that just means I had to.

"I'm from the F.P.I" he pulled a badge. The federal pokemon investigators, what were they doing here? Or had we been discovered?

"Come in" I motioned the man in, he was hesitant but walked in the door. I couldn't help but notice he had a baton on his hip

"So, how many ladies have you used that baton on?" I joked at him, he wasn't in a joking mood apparently.

"I don't find that funny, and I wouldn't hesitate to hit you with this baton" he said to me. Definitely not very humorous.

"So, can I get you something? Tea, soda, coffee?" I asked him, I didn't actually have tea, but I doubted he would want anything.

"I'll have a cup of tea, if you don't mind" god damnit. So I routed through my fridge for something and I found water. But then I remembered I had a box of tea bags (dont even make that joke) under the sink, so I got some of those and made some tea for the man.

"Are you gonna tell me why your here or am I going to have to guess?" I asked him, hoping he wasn't here for the sex with pokemon thing, because I am not going to jail.

"I understand you have a large collection of swords in your basement" he started, maybe I was safe?

"Do you have any your willing to sell? I'm actually a collector myself" he continued, not what I expected but I'll roll with it.

"It depends what you want" I said to him, and then I got up and showed him to my basement. He roamed around examining blades and blueprints, he payed close attention to a greatsword I had hanging on my wall. The sword was one of the ones that was absolutely not for sale.

"This is a nice blade, I can't see any faults in the craftsmanship, nothing wrong with the hilt either" he said, examining my prize possession. That blade is the greatest sword I have ever forged, the blade three feet long, three quarter inch thick at its most and four inches wide, kind of like my dick, BOOM!

"It's not for sale" I said to him, not even trying to say that nicely.

"I'm disappointed, I would have loved such a blade, I suppose I'll find another" he said to me. He kept looking for a while until Becky came downstairs.

"Who the hell is this guy?" She asked. He turned around and greeted her with a friendly 'hello' but she was still skeptical.

"What about this one?" The man asked, pointing to a khopesh I had made.

"For that one... I'd say about five hundred" I told him, it had been in my collection for a while but it was getting boring, so I cut him a huge deal.

"I'll take it" he said and picked it up. He handed me the cash and walked out.

"I'll ask again, who the fuck was that?" Becky asked again, rather impatient.

"I have no idea" I told her with a shrug, but I was happy to have money to spend. So I went upstairs and ate some more bread. I love bread almost as much as I love bread, think that over for a minute. I decided to spend this money the best way I could think of, and by that I mean bread, lots and lots of bread. I was going to buy bread with bread, if you will. Or I could buy something expensive and completely unnecessary.

"So Becky, what should I buy with this money?" I asked her, hoping she would say something useful.

"Maybe you could buy a bed that doesn't suck" she answered. I could do that, or I could buy bread... What a conundrum. My two great loves, bread and sleep. Then it hit me. I rushed out the door with the money in my pocket.

"Where the heck are you going?" Becky shouted after me, I was getting something perfect. I burst into the place that sells beds and walked up to the counter and drew the guy a picture of the perfect bed.

"We can have this done in two weeks" he said to me

"But it will cost you about four hundred" he finished. That much I had, and I would still have enough left for soda, candy, bread and cereal. I'm a simple man with simple needs, namely food, but also sex. I would also need cheese and salami. Plus some milk, maybe a bit of salt. But for now I rushed out to the grocery store and grabbed more cereal and some milk. I need breakfast with my bread.

"Where were you?" Becky asked, sitting in my chair watching tv.

"That's not important, what is important is... Are you watching Naruto?" I lost my train of thought. She was watching Naruto on my tv and sitting in my chair... This chick is fucking awesome.

"So yeah... I ordered a new bed, it will be here in two weeks" I said, remembering my original sentence. Then I went into the kitchen and ate cereal. I like cereal.

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-this chapter was made to be as random and as funny as possible, it also gives you a glimpse into the insanity that is my brain

-sorry no sex, but it was too funny to break with seriousness

-the next chapter will be sex

-the next chapter will skip to after they get back from the apartment