Striving forwards- Varuo (title change)
#1 of Life's Pains
It has been a really long time since i have uploaded anything on here, i have about 4 different stories floating around on my computer, but the idea for this one came to me earlier when i was driving home, the heavy snow was falling.... well you get the picture.
Expect it to be edited in the future, and let me know what you think i should do in the next chapter.
By the way, the term "cliff-hanger" originated from the novel A Pair of Blue Eyes, and near the end of the book, the main character is literally hanging off of the edge of a cliff, only hanging on by his fingertips.
Title change! i am editing this chapter a little bit, and this one was inspired by the song Varuo by Sigur Ros, an Icelandic group. i highly recommend looking them up.
***
A long day at school, the day before spring break was appointed to start, and at the end of the day, he would have a full week off, with only a few days of work to break it up.
Chemistry was the final class of the day for Sam, and unfortunately, he also had a major test in the same class. The bored looking fox at the front of the class, Mr. Parker, got up from his seat and had a sheaf of papers in one paw, starting at the front row, setting a few sheets on each of the student's desk.
After he had handed them all out, he didn't even say a work, but just sank back into his chair, with a sullen look on his face.
It took Sam a few moments to recall all of the information he would need, and then applied it to the first question.
Multiple-choice tests were the easiest for the otter, he would always get at least a few wrong, but he was always the first one done in the class.
Sam turned the last page over, and then saw the last question, one asking him to draw and label a polymer, it could be one that had been discussed in class or it could be made up, as long as it could exist as a polymer.
Now of course, all thoughts relating to the day that Mr. Parker had talked about common polymers vanished, and he was left with an empty mind, his pen seemingly useless in his webbed paw.
Then, Sam thought back to the one polymer he had gotten to know rather... intimately, one that he would be greatly embarrassed if his parents found in his desk drawer.
A simple powder, polyetheline oxide, mixed with sucrose to act as a dispersing agent, could be mixed with water. The end product is a clear, slimy liquid. J-lube, popular among those that prefer water-based personal lubricants.
Sam just had to hope that his teacher wouldn't look too far into it...
***
The drive home was not bad at all, the sun was shining, and it was rather warm for this time of year outside, so Sam decided to roll down the windows a few inches, letting in fresh air.
He had bought a coffee on his way home, and the warm liquid ran down his throat, and he could feel the buzz from the caffeine. The taste reminded him of fall, his favorite season, and the thought of going on long walks in the woods, the leaves starting to change, the slight chill against his skin....
Sam pulled into the driveway of the massive house, one that he was proud to say he lived in, and snatched his bag from the passenger seat, slinging it over his shoulder as he went to the front door, slowly easing it open.
"Sam, could you come into the living room please?" He could hear his mother's voice, and there was an underlying tone of... anger? Or disgust? That thought stayed with him as he walked into the living room, both of his parents seated together on the couch.
"Sit, now" There was nothing on her face, just a flat expression, but Sam could see it in her eyes.
"What is the meaning of this?" She held up the large plastic bag that had been sitting on the end table, Sam had not noticed it until now.
Inside was his toy, the one he had spent his own money on, and had worked so hard to keep hidden from his parents...
Sam could feel his face and ears heating up, his paws started to shake as he tried to say something. His breathing quickened, and his heart started to beat faster and faster in his chest.
"I know what this is about, after I found this in your desk drawer I looked around the rest of your room, I found the books, I found everything..." her voice broke up, tears coming to her eyes, and Sam saw that it was his father's turn to talk.
"Sam, it all makes sense now... the way you have been acting the past few years, the music you listen to, the fact that you haven't ever had a girlfriend, and you have disappointed me greatly."
"But don't worry! We can fix you, and rid your body of those hellish demons, you won't be sick anymore. At the church there is a man that can help you get better, so you can be on the righteous path, and then we can get our son back!" She smiled a bit as she said this, and Sam couldn't believe his ears.
"There is nothing wrong with me..." He whispered.
"Yes, you are full of evil thoughts, you have to change your path!" His mother seemed to be taking over now, his father silent beside her. It had obviously been her idea from the start, but his father was not doing anything to stop her.
And at that moment, something inside of Sam snapped, his heart began to beat harder, faster against his chest, he felt a surge of energy and anger as he stood up.
"Do you really think there is something wrong with me? Do you really think you can just fix me? You have never been so fucking wrong in your whole life!" Sam screamed this at his mother, and she shrunk back slightly, appalled that Sam reacted this way.
"Either you accept me, or you will no longer have a son, I will not let you use religion to try and change me, it has never worked, I don't even see why people read the bible, it is full of lies, and makes people like you the way you are!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, and at that moment, when he finished the last few words of his statement, his mother stood up and raised her paw, and struck him across the face.
The stinging sensation came about a second later, and Sam brought his paw up to the side of his face, looking down at his paw a few moments later to see blood staining his fur.
Inside of a few seconds, he had turned around, and Sam was on his way upstairs to his room, he found the door, handle, whipped the door open and slammed it, locking it behind him.
He sank down to the floor, tears dripping from his eyes, falling to his knees as he drew them up close to his chest.
Inside of a few seconds, he made his decision.
The closet doors were nearly torn off, and he found the large suitcase in the corner, and began packing. Not even caring what he stuffed into the bag, he ran stalked into the bathroom and grabbed anything he might need, his medicine, toothpaste...
His school bag only had a few notebooks in it, and he threw them into the bed, watching as a single paper fell from the stack, slowly drifting to the floor.
His laptop and cables were packed inside of a minute, and anything else he might need went into a separate pocket.
Then, Sam started for the door, tears still dripping from his eyes, and gently pulled the door open, patting his pocket to make sure that his keys were still there.
He didn't say a single word as he passed through the living room. Both of his parents sat on the couch, staring at him, their faces red and angry.
"Have a nice fucking life." The amount of disdain and contempt that was dripping from his voice surprised all three of them, and a moment later, Sam was outside, and it took him a few moments to realize that the storm had hit, just as forecasted, and already a few inches had fallen to the ground.
No matter, Sam had driven in worse conditions. He just needed to get the fuck away from his parents...
About half an hour later, it was already getting dark, and large flakes of snow fell, covering the tire tracks behind Sam.
He had been trying to get his mood up by listening to some up-beat music, but all he could think about was the words his mother had said....
She thought that he could be fixed.
At first, a few years ago, when he was 14 and started to have different feelings, ever since a young pup he had always been silent, easily provoked, not interested in sports, and withdrawn.
It all made sense when he started looking at porn online, barely an hour after his first power-up. Sam had heard so much about how amazing breasts looked, and how the female body was supposed to arouse him.
It did the exact opposite, he felt nothing, no matter what species he looked at, and females just didn't get him going at all.
Then about a day later he found the other side of porn, and that had him hard within seconds. It went on from there, and he started living a double life, hiding it all from his family and friends, afraid of what would happen if they found out. He only opened up to other furs he met online, ones that were going through the same thing.
All of this, went through Sam's head, the thoughts driving him to do what he did next.
The next wave of feelings were brought on by the images in his head of the bullies in school, their words, the shoves into lockers, the smacks across the face... after a while Sam became numb to it, he didn't react to his tormenters anymore, and didn't care what they said, but it still went on. The cold seemed to drive his thoughts, and everything just fell on his shoulders all at once. And then, he felt nothing.
His face wet with fresh tears, Sam felt his foot press down farther on the gas pedal, and his head was pushed back against the head rest, the snow and landscape a blur around him. The small engine worked to push his car faster and faster, his world became white, The grey clouds and bleak landscape that surrounded him from all sides overwhelmed his senses. And then, not too far in front of him, he saw the two pinpricks of yellow light, coming at him fast and steady.
He saw the headlights draw nearer, and let the car drift to the other side of the road...
Yes i will write more, and yes he comes out of this alive. this is sort of some venting writing... and also, in the beginning of the next story i will put in a list of songs that sort of inspired this series, ones that you might not like, but i think that they fit very well.